Chapter 41

"If Mrs. Riti's intuition was correct... This is a love letter that Cain wrote to someone? If so, this is a letter I shouldn't have read. But Mrs. Riti, who firmly believes that Cain is my husband, was waiting for me with bright, expectant eyes, urging me to read the letter quickly. I couldn't speak at length due to the low level of language, and the atmosphere made it impossible to refuse. 'I'll pretend to read it casually with a vague look.' I made this decision and carefully unfolded the folded paper. The moment I did, my eyes widened at the handwriting I saw. 'Huh?' Contrary to what I expected, the handwriting on the paper was very familiar. It was Altair's handwriting. 'Why... is this Altair's handwriting?' As I stared at the paper, bewildered, Mrs. Riti smiled knowingly as if she understood everything and poured me a cup of water. "Right? A love letter?" "Uh-huh..." Urged by Mrs. Riti, I quickly read the content, and without realizing it, my face grew hot. It wasn't a neatly written letter, but even reading a few lines, I could tell that Altair had written what he wanted to say to me. There were many traces of erasures, as if he had tried to organize his thoughts, and the story was disjointed, making it seem like it wasn't a letter intended for the recipient. But that made it even more touching. It meant that this small piece of paper contained Altair's unadorned and unembellished sincerity. As I stared at the letter for a long time, I suddenly felt an intense gaze on my cheeks. I turned my head in surprise to see Mrs. Riti smiling contentedly at me. "No, it's not a love letter." "Not a love letter?!" Mrs. Riti burst into laughter, as if warning me not to lie. "Take your time reading the letter. I'll go get the doctor." As Mrs. Riti left, the embarrassment I had been holding back rose to the top of my head. I buried my face in the paper and squeezed my eyes shut. 'Really... when did he write this...' My flushed face didn't seem to be cooling down easily.

*** The story returns to the journey from the Gilan Earl's territory to the Eilsford Baron's territory after the meeting. Altair's group was hurrying back, taking short breaks during the long journey. While human endurance can be sustained by willpower, horses need regular rest to avoid exhaustion, making breaks essential. Altair, who usually found such breaks very boring, was different this time. The knights whispered among themselves, finding it strange that Altair would disappear somewhere every time a break came around. "Is he looking for treasure or something?" "By himself?" "Well, he's always hard to understand, isn't he?" Unlike the gossiping knights, Cain knew exactly what their leader was up to. Altair was faithfully following Cain's advice: 'If you want to make amends with your lady, give her a gift!' 'I didn't think he would actually follow my advice.' Cain had advised Altair to write a heartfelt letter. While expensive gifts were nice, Cain believed that a sincere handwritten letter was the right approach in this situation. Altair had a doubtful look on his face, as if wondering if it would really work, but he seemed to have decided to follow Cain's advice. 'Since I've given advice, I should help him all the way.' It was a purely good intention. He wasn't trying to tease Altair for writing an embarrassing letter. Cain whistled a tune as he looked around for Altair and easily found him sitting against a tree, scribbling something. "Are you doing well, my lord?" When Cain suddenly appeared and asked, Altair frowned. He seemed annoyed by Cain's tone, which was like a teacher checking a child's homework. "Mind your own business." "Come on, how can I not care? Since I've decided to help, I'll do it properly." "If you really mean that, say it clearly." Recognizing the mischief in Cain's eyes, Altair said firmly. "Cain, you're helping me by staying out of it." Of course, Cain wasn't the type to back down easily. He leaned forward and, after checking the content of the letter Altair was writing, asked with a subtle expression. "You're not planning to give it like this, are you?" "…It's a draft. I need to organize my thoughts before I can write anything, right?" "A draft is a draft, but this is too rough! How can you melt a lady's heart with such a crude letter?" Cain laughed in disbelief and pointed out a phrase Altair had written. "Nadia. I know your heart is hurt." "…Isn't that true? What's wrong with it?" "My lord, are you writing a report now?" Cain clicked his tongue and placed his hands on his hips, ready to lecture. "This is a letter, a letter. You need to put your heart into it, not just list facts. You can write the same thing more softly, beautifully, and with emotion." "…Emotion." "Yes! Do you understand?" "Hmm…" As Altair gave an ambiguous answer, Cain tapped the empty space on the paper with his finger. "If you understand, try rewriting it here." "Why should I listen to you?" "You want to make amends with your lady, don't you? If you write the letter like this, you'll never reconcile." "…" Frowning, Altair stared at the paper for a long time before carefully starting to write. Cain slowly read the words as they formed. "Nadia. I know your heart is hurt. I'm sorry." "Is that it?" "What's the point? Nothing has changed." "I wrote 'I'm sorry.' You said to put my heart into it." "No… if you only put your heart into it, what will you do…?" Cain was speechless at Altair's proud gaze. 'This guy is wrong…' As Cain sighed, seeing no solution, Altair frowned and argued. "What? What kind of letter do you want me to write?" "Well, for example, 'My dear Nadia. The thought of your tender heart being hurt by me keeps me from sleeping at night…'" "It's not night yet." "No, it's not literally about not sleeping at night." "I can't write lies in a sincere letter." "Oh…" They just couldn't communicate. Cain instinctively realized that it was impossible to change this person and raised his hands in surrender. "Hang in there, my lord. A heartfelt letter. I support you. Really." "…Your support doesn't feel sincere at all. Get lost." As Altair chuckled, Cain shook his head and left. Left alone, Altair stared at the paper, feeling the blank space overwhelming. What should he say? Then, the sentence Cain had said earlier flashed in his mind. After hesitating for a moment, Altair carefully began to write it down. 'My dear Nadia. The thought of your tender heart being hurt by me keeps me from sleeping at night…' But Altair couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence and drew a line through it. '…This isn't me.' He had never learned to be flowery, and he didn't want to. If he wrote a flowery sentence to make his wife feel better, wouldn't that be deceiving her? 'I should write what I want to say in my own way.' As he organized his thoughts, the stories he wanted to tell began to surface in his mind. About how he was sorry for not being by her side when she was in danger. About how, even though he knew she might be in danger this time, he didn't prepare perfectly, but he would never let it happen again. About how she could hit him as much as she wanted if she was still angry. About how she should express her anger outwardly instead of bottling it up. Altair wrote down his thoughts, which came to him in a jumble, on the paper. The paper was soon filled, but the letter, written with a clumsy pen on a piece of paper that looked like it was meant for a messenger, was clearly unimpressive. '…Even if I can't be flowery, this is too rough.' Fortunately, Altair had a basic sense of aesthetics. He made a plan in his mind. When he returned to Eilsford Castle, he would write the letter on a soft ivory-colored paper with a slightly blue ink, carefully and sincerely, to convey his feelings. While he was thinking this, Cain's voice came from not far away. "My lord! It's time to leave!" "I'm coming now!" Altair shouted back, folded the clumsy letter twice, and stuffed it into his coat. As he expected, this clumsy draft never turned into a beautiful letter. *** 'My dear Nadia. The thought of your tender heart being hurt by me keeps me from sleeping at night.' The line was crossed out, but the content was still readable. 'This is definitely written after taking someone's advice.' It was clearly not Altair's style. Given his usual way of speaking, these words would never come out of his mouth. Imagining Altair saying such words with his usual stern face made me chuckle involuntarily. Just then, the door burst open, and a man I had never seen before entered. Startled, I widened my eyes as he walked up to my bed and placed his hand on my forehead. Surprised by his sudden action, I opened my mouth, and he spoke calmly. "I'm not a stranger; I'm a doctor. Mrs. Riti has gone to inform Baron Eilsford that you've woken up." "Oh. Yes. Doctor." As I reflexively responded to his continuous words, I realized something was off. The man was speaking in Lupes. "Eh, why, that… this is the Calthas territory…." Moreover, didn't he just call him 'Baron Eilsford'? As I opened my mouth in confusion, he continued to examine my wound calmly. "Your fever has gone down. The wound is healing well and hasn't worsened. There will be a scar, but it can be covered by your hair." "But… I…" "You still need to take medicine for a while. There's a risk of infection, so you need to keep an eye on the wound. Of course, you can hand it over to your regular doctor when you return to Eilsford." Every time I tried to ask a question, the doctor's words cut me off, and I ended up closing my mouth again. 'This guy doesn't seem to have any intention of answering my questions…' Or, does he not even want to talk to me? As I felt a strange hostility in his attitude, the door burst open again. I turned my head to see who had entered, and the doctor clicked his tongue. "The clinic is much farther away than the field, yet you came so quickly." I wondered who could receive such a sarcastic comment and immediately met Altair's eyes at the door. The moment I recalled the phrase 'My dear Nadia' from the letter, I couldn't look at Altair's face. I quickly turned my head away. 'Oh, what do I do…' I must have turned my head away much more abruptly than I intended, making it look like I was fiercely avoiding him. 'Oh, he must be misunderstanding…' I glanced at Altair out of the corner of my eye, and his face was stiff. 'Ugh. He's definitely misunderstanding!' Cold sweat trickled down my back.