Chapter 31

Why did Cy protect Rabi?

No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn't understand. Perhaps he felt pity because Rabi looked so pitiful. That was a possibility, she supposed. She had written a letter to Baldo, apologizing and suggesting they reschedule. The reply from him was nothing more than a simple acknowledgment that Nella was disappointed, and she immediately threw it away. This should buy her some more time before the next tea party.

The tension and fear made her feel nauseous. She almost collapsed into bed, thinking she might not be able to stand up again. But if she did, she would regress to the time when she had no strength, and all her efforts would be for nothing. She had no credibility after fleeing and throwing everything away.

(I will never, ever do something so foolish again.)

The more she calmed down, the more ashamed she felt. She thought she had long been prepared to face Nella, but the long, ten years seemed to have entangled her feet, refusing to let go. Reflecting on it, when she was accused of bullying Nella, she couldn't say anything in her defense. She hadn't grown at all, and it was frustrating to admit this.

So, she repeated the strenuous training to wipe away that feeling. She moved her feet much faster than usual, panting, and recalled the basics of magic Cy had taught her. She circulated her meager magic power over and over, feeling pathetic. Was there a way out? The small ball of water in her tiny hands, endlessly circling, seemed to be in the same dead end as Rabi, making her feel so frustrated that her vision blurred. She realized the surroundings were distorted when she looked up at the clear blue sky.

"Stop it, please!"

When she was about to fall flat on her back, Cy supported her from behind. She knew he had been there, watching her, as he was her guardian. But his hand was so firm and steady that Rabi suddenly smiled at him, feeling reassured. And then, she lost consciousness.

Rabi didn't know how flustered this young knight had been, but when she opened her eyes again, she saw small, cute flower petals tickling her eyes. They were red, pink, and yellow, and she recognized the place. It was a small rose garden at the edge of the courtyard, almost forgotten by everyone. There was a tiny bench, and it was far from the school building, making it a lovely but lonely spot.

Rabi blinked and looked around. The knight was looking down at her with a bemused expression. "You've run out of magic. I should take you to the infirmary, but I thought it might be inconvenient. I'm sorry," Cy said, his words slow and deliberate.

If she had gone to the infirmary, she might have been lying on a soft bed instead of feeling stiff. But Rabi was Baldo's fiancée. If she were carried there by Cy, it would only fuel rumors. Cy, recognizing the familiar symptoms, had brought her here, expecting her to wake up quickly.

"No, thank you for your concern. I'm the one who should apologize."

There was an awkward silence. Since the tea party at the Heathfen house, Rabi had been avoiding Cy. They weren't close enough to have casual conversations, so it was easy to avoid him. She could walk, ignoring his gaze from behind. He wouldn't approach her either. So, Rabi stood up from the bench, feeling anxious and short on time.

"Where are you going?"

Rabi had no intention of answering Cy's question. She didn't understand his motives, even if she owed him. But she knew she should thank him for saving her from a difficult situation, even if he had only pitied her. However, she was afraid he might ask about the words she had shouted that day. She was standing on thin ice, and one wrong step could shatter it, sending her into a deep hole.

"Excuse me," she said, bowing and stepping away without looking back. Just then, she felt his arm grab hers.

"Wait!"

Startled, she almost fell. Cy, who should have known better, was also flustered by her lightness. On the ground, Rabi curled up in his lap, her ears burning and throbbing. They quickly put some distance between them, and Rabi, uncharacteristically agile, stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt. Cy straightened up and tried to say something, but Rabi ignored him and tried to leave. "Wait!" His voice was louder and more determined than she expected, making her stop.

"Miss Rabi, I need to apologize to you."

Rabi blinked, confused. She opened and closed her mouth several times, remembering a similar gesture in the library. "Your arm, it's, thin," she repeated, not understanding.

"When I pulled you up, I said your arm was thin, and I deeply regret it."

Rabi rewound her memory. When she realized what he meant, she was surprised. "You've been thinking about that all this time?" She covered her mouth, feeling embarrassed. Seeing the knight's head hang in shame, she said, "I, I had forgotten about it!" Her voice trembled, but it was because she was laughing.

Indeed, Rabi had been deeply hurt then. She was embarrassed by the truth, but the fact that this boy had been so troubled by it made her laugh. She laughed so loudly that tears welled up in her eyes. Cy blushed slightly but seemed relieved. He was indeed ordered by Baldo to watch over Rabi, but it was also his own decision.

"Miss Rabi,"

There was something else he needed to apologize for.

"I have been investigating you since before I was assigned to watch over you, after hearing that you were Baldo's fiancée."

This wasn't surprising. The first time they met, Cy had given her a piercing look, probably thinking she was an unsuitable and crazy noble lady. Rabi understood his thoughts. "Yes," she simply nodded. She had no right to object.

"Indeed, your behavior was poor in the past, and you were... I apologize."

Cy coughed, finding it difficult to continue. "Please go on," Rabi said, holding out her hand. She appreciated his kindness for not calling her insane. "I have a feeling of unease," he said, looking straight at her. Rabi shuddered but couldn't let him know. Cy took a deep breath and asked her a question.

"What are you afraid of?"

Her body shook violently.

Her breath was heavy and painful. She was afraid of what he might say next. In an instant, Cy, who had invaded her inner world without permission, became a source of fear. She took a step back, shaking her head. She lost her balance and fell on her bottom, possibly with tears in her eyes.

"No, no, that's not it!"

Cy was flustered. He tried to meet her gaze, his large body leaning over her. "I don't want to expose anything about you. I just... why are you so afraid?" He looked at her small hand. She had walked to the pond, practiced magic control, and lived each day with fear, despite her thin body. He had watched her sincerely.

"I am Baldo's knight. I cannot be your ally. But..."

He had thought about it many times.

"I cannot ignore your efforts."

Rabi blinked. As she slowly processed his words, she swallowed a sudden sob and bit her lip. She thought she shouldn't cry. If she did, it would feel like she was relying on him, and everything would be for nothing. Still, her nose kept getting hot and stuffy.

Sitting on the ground, Rabi said nothing. Cy asked her quietly, in a complex position. "If there's anything I can do, I want to help." He knew many of her wishes would be difficult to fulfill, but he couldn't abandon the trembling girl.

Rabi smiled bitterly at his tempting words. If she could tell him that everything was orchestrated by Nella, it would be wonderful. He was honest and sincere with her. But Cy was still one of the targets, one of the men who would fall in love with Nella. He was a significant character in the latter part of the story. Rabi couldn't predict how he would interact with Nella.

(But he is a valuable presence to me.)

Thanks to Cy, she could somehow prevent Nella's actions, though he didn't know it.

"Then, please stay with me."

She wanted him to be near her as a subject of surveillance. The serious young man was greatly flustered by her words. "H-Huh!?" He rarely made such a high-pitched sound, his ears turning red as he recoiled from her.

"Of course, I understand that you are here under Baldo's orders. Please, continue to watch over me."

"Ah, no, that's... what you meant..."

Realizing his misunderstanding, he blushed even more, but Rabi didn't notice.

It was both terrifying and exciting to think about how Cy and Nella would connect. She felt a warm, star-filled embrace, knowing she wasn't alone.

Rabi lowered her eyes slightly. She wondered if it was okay to rely on him.

"Sir Cy, as you can see, I have no strength, I'm bad at handling magic, and I'm a pitiful sight."

They were still sitting on the ground. She placed her palm on her thin body. It was embarrassing to say, but it was the truth. Cy tried to deny it but realized she didn't want him to. So, he waited for her to continue.

"I want to become stronger. I want a healthy body. If you can, please—please help me become stronger."