Chapter 39

"Who are you...?"

At the question, Raby held her breath. It felt as if Fer knew everything, including the fact that Raby had remembered her past life, and that her past and present had become intertwined.

But Raby was still Raby. Indeed, recalling her past had caused some changes in her thinking, but it was merely a broadening of her perspective. She could still proudly declare that she was Raby Heathfen. Therefore, there was no need to turn away from him. "I'm Raby. What are you talking about?" Her voice was surprisingly firm, and she stared back at Fer strongly.

Unexpectedly, Fer immediately hesitated. "No, that's not it, I..." He seemed to be recalling each detail, as if confirming them with himself, as he questioned Raby.

"You gave me the needle."

The silver needle, originally Raby's.

"You knew what it was."

He knew it was something Fer had secretly stolen from Raby's sewing kit. And he knew about the things Fer had been doing in secret. "You've always known." His voice was strained, and he bowed his head, trembling. "You..." He shook his head. "Sister..."

"Are you... mad...?"

Her whole body felt as if it might crack. She was so terrified she couldn't breathe. Fer was in love with Nella. If he found out, everything would be over. She didn't know how to respond. She should have fled immediately. It was a bit earlier than planned, but it was still within reason. Fortunately, the funds she had gathered from Leon's shop were close to her goal for today. She had to escape. She had to leave this place quickly.

She had to disappear.

Just as Raby was about to take a step to escape, Fer clutched his chest in great pain. He took several deep breaths, swallowing his sobs. Then, unable to hold back, he began to cry, his nose red and his tears streaming down his face. No matter how many times he wiped them away, it was no use. "F-Fer..."

The boy was crying out of sheer happiness.

Raby had never seen Fer cry like a child before. Though he was just a step away from being a child, he always seemed so mature. Raby didn't understand. "There's only me in the Heathfen family," he said in a hoarse voice, trying to suppress his trembling throat, suffering and crying.

――Fer was too perceptive. From a young age, he had read the expectations of those around him and bound himself with a sense of responsibility.

Raby should have known this, but she truly didn't understand anything.

"I learned embroidery from my sister."

When Raby could still freely caress his cheeks, Fer was only three years old. She thought he wouldn't remember, but he was smarter and had a better memory than Raby. As Raby became more unstable, the expectations of their parents fell on him. To support the Heathfen family, he distanced himself from Raby. To act out the conflict with his sister, who was rumored to be mentally unstable, he said and did things he didn't mean. Still, he couldn't even stagger the times they rode in the carriage, and he just kept silent as they walked to the academy.

Fer cried like a child, tears streaming down his face. He called out to his sister and Raby. Seeing him like this, Raby found herself hugging Fer.

"I'm sorry."

The words she whispered were terribly hoarse. She realized she was also crying. "I'm sorry, Fer..." They clung to each other desperately. The boy, whom she thought was still small, had grown. Raby deeply regretted not being able to stay with him all this time. Fer called out to Raby many times, and they both had red, swollen eyes.

A laughing voice echoed in her ear.

It was very happy. Still, it was painful and difficult.

***

"Nella, what's wrong?"

A gentle voice reached her ears.

(Ah, it's so hot. I really hate it.)

It was a troublesome match. She congratulated the winners and gently caressed the cheeks of the losers. Creating the idol of a woman that they desired was easy. With her appearance, men easily wagged their tails for Nella. It was terribly boring. This man was no different. Though he was in a slightly troublesome position, to Nella, he was easily manipulated.

"No, I was just remembering Prince Baldur's magnificent performance earlier."

Thinking about it made her heart race, she lied, and laughed at the foolish prince. To Nella, who was skilled at putting on a facade and was indecisive, he was just a boring man. If only, the man named Cy, who was his guard, could be more entertaining, but unfortunately, it was hard to find an opportunity.

"...I lost to Fer, though."

"There's also the saying that a match is a matter of luck. At least, to me, Prince Baldur shone the most."

Her words flowed so easily on her tongue, even surprising herself. Baldur should have shown a bit more regret. Everything was unbearably boring.

Then, a striking silver hair appeared in Nella's mind. Among the many people, that annoying hair color stood out clearly. She wasn't sure what he was talking about with her brother, but it was trivial. Fer was also being strange. In the past, he would have been happy like a dog with a few sweet words, but after the match, he didn't even look at her smile and immediately disappeared somewhere.

(Ah, I'm so angry...)

She hated that woman. She couldn't forgive her. So, she decided to do something about it.

(I always thought I could do something whenever I wanted, but maybe I let her have her way too much.)

An annoying insect should be crushed.

Pluck its wings and laugh at its pitiful crawling on the ground. Laugh heartily, holding her stomach.