Chapter 67

As a crack appeared on Adel's expression, Karl raised his upper body a little more and leaned closer, whispering again.

“Did you entrust yourself to Lionel Valdr?”

“……”

The corners of Adel's lips curled up crookedly. What should she say in response? As she gazed at his lips, which were as red as camellias in the night, she smiled and retorted.

“Why are you so curious?”

Karl was at a loss for words at Adel's smile.

“Didn’t we agree not to be interested in each other’s lovers?”

I didn’t know that my words would be used against me like this. But what does it matter? Karl leaned even closer to Adel and whispered.

“I will send Dian out of the palace. Don’t you want that?”

Adel's lips curled into a bitter smile at his despicable words. She held her breath, sensing his scent mingling with her own. An impulse to push him away overwhelmed her. It was a truly ironic pain. Is there a worse hell than hating someone close to you?

“I have no interest in the Emperor’s mistress. Do as you please, whether you send her away or keep her.”

If you thought I would be swayed by such a thing, you were mistaken.

“If you want my heart, then,”

Adel stood up and looked down at Karl.

“Instead of coming to me unannounced in the middle of the night, you should have tried to understand who I am and what I like.”

“……What is it that you want?”

At Karl’s question, a shiver ran through Adel’s body, which had been lethargic like a waterlogged cotton ball. She took a deep breath and spoke each word with emphasis.

“I have told you countless times, to the point of tiring of repeating it. And I cannot live like a feather on a quill pen.”

It was a veiled rebuke, daring to make her a mere feather on a quill pen. The memory of standing against her mother in Gotrop made her feel suffocated, but there was no other way. Adel could never give up on this. The emperor, who had been trying to build a vast enclosure to capture a wild beast, bit his lip and said nothing in response to the empress’s words. No, he couldn’t. She was someone who fought for what she wanted rather than waiting for someone to give it to her.

‘Your Majesty, Empress!’

The waves of cheers she had created, like the surging sea, seemed to crash into his ears.

“Go back. I am very tired now.”

So the emperor couldn’t force the calm but resolute Adel to submit. She would never tolerate it. ＊ ＊ ＊ At around the same time, the butler of the Baldur mansion knocked on Lionel’s door. Lionel, who had been resting on a soft bed for the first time in a long while, got up as the butler entered.

“Is there something wrong?”

“The Duke wishes to see you for a moment. Is that alright?”

The butler, who quickly scanned Lionel’s face, asked in a gentle voice. Lionel nodded lightly and got out of bed.

“He said he will wait in the study.”

Lionel put on the coat the butler handed him and walked down the dim corridor. The butler, walking briskly beside him, spoke cautiously.

“A few days ago, the Grand Duke visited.”

Lionel’s steps suddenly slowed.

“The Grand Duke?”

“Yes. The Duke seemed to have trouble sleeping after the Grand Duke’s visit.”

“I see……”

Lionel nodded slightly and continued walking. The image of Elisabeth, whom he had encountered at the palace entrance, came to mind. She smiled at him as usual.

‘Minister, it’s been a while!’

Her familiar voice seemed to echo. Elisabeth had only been at the Baldur mansion for about a year, but many people there still missed her after she left. When Theseus suffered under the tyranny of the Emperor and the Duke of Despoina, Elisabeth would vent the frustrations that her husband couldn’t. Theseus would just look at his wife in silence, but Lionel realized at some point that Theseus had fallen in love with Elisabeth. Lost in thought, he soon arrived at the entrance to the study. The butler opened the door respectfully and stepped back, and a familiar voice came from inside.

“Come in.”

Theseus, leaning on the sofa, greeted his brother with a light smile.

“Brother.”

“I feel bad for calling you when you should be resting.”

“Why say that after calling me?”

“You have a point.”

Theseus laughed lightly. The brothers sat down, facing each other for the first time in a while. Theseus handed Lionel a glass and asked casually.

“Is the role of the Empress’s advisor not too difficult?”

Lionel took the glass and glanced at his brother.

“I’m fine.”

“I noticed that the knights are all very favorable towards the Empress.”

“It’s because of the Empress that there were fewer casualties.”

“What kind of person is the Empress, from what you’ve seen up close?”

Lionel looked down and thought for a moment before answering with a smile.

“She is very clear about the distinction between public and private matters. Her beliefs about the tower are the opposite of the Duke of Despoina’s.”

Theseus nodded slowly and continued.

“The Grand Duke has agreed to be the center of the movement. He plans to meet the Empress tomorrow. Soon, a camp will be formed with the Empress and the Grand Duke at the center. When the time is right, resign from your position as advisor. After we and the Empress have achieved our goals.”

Theseus’s words pierced Lionel’s heart like a sudden, sharp dagger.

“……”

Though he should have readily agreed, he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Theseus’s expression hardened as he looked at his brother, who finally nodded hesitantly. The image of Lionel’s smile, directed only at the Empress, unlike her smile to the crowd, came to mind. Theseus leaned forward and said in a deep, serious voice.

“Resign from your position, Lionel.”

“……”

The brothers looked at each other. Reading the worry and concern in Theseus’s eyes, Lionel couldn’t meet his gaze and took a deep breath.

‘Lionel, come here.’

A tall, strong, yet precarious figure, standing alone in a stormy field, came to mind. Behind his arrogant smile, he remembered the face that silently wept, infinitely tender. The position of advisor, like an iceberg floating in the black sea of the polar region, a shallow relationship that turns into a stranger with a turn. Yet, it was the only thread that bound him to her. That’s why Lionel couldn’t easily agree.

“……You have harbored feelings that should not be harbored.”

At the cold voice above him, Lionel looked up at his brother with trembling eyes.

It felt like he was submerged in a deep, cold black sea. His breath was short, and his ears were muffled as if filled with water. His expression froze like frost, and he couldn’t even blink. Theseus looked at Lionel, who was stiff and speechless, with a reproachful gaze. To harbor feelings that would poison you if you couldn’t control your own emotions! But his eyes gradually softened. How could you prevent someone from getting wet in a storm as fierce as a downpour? Theseus sighed deeply and refilled his glass.

“You will get hurt. It’s true that the advisor is also the Empress’s lover. But you know what happened to those who harbored inappropriate feelings, don’t you?!”

Lionel forced a light laugh and shook his head.

“It’s a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding?”

“Yes.”

At Lionel’s excuse, Theseus put down his glass loudly and glared at his brother. His heart ached at the sight of his brother, who was trying to hide his feelings and maintain a normal expression.

“Feelings you harbor will eventually show. Do you know how your face looked just now?!”

“……”

“You were looking at her as if she were the only light in your world. You didn’t realize it, but you were.”

Lionel’s forced smile slowly faded. Seeing his brother standing still, lost, Theseus felt a sense of helplessness. How could his brother also harbor a tragic heart? Fate was cruel. A deathly silence fell between them in the oppressive darkness. After a while, Theseus spoke first.

“Does the Empress know about your feelings?”

Lionel looked up at Theseus. His expression was so dark that it made Theseus shudder. Lionel quietly recalled Adel.

“Why don’t you answer?!”

“……I don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know…… what these feelings are, Brother.”

Theseus, who had been speechless for a moment, sighed deeply.

“……If you don’t know what these feelings are, then forget it. Whatever they are, cover them up before it’s too late.”

＊ ＊ ＊ A little while later, Lionel returned to his room and leaned against the wall, wiping his face. It felt as if a cold, leaden chill had attached itself to his body. In that moment, had his emotions flowed so openly that his brother noticed? Lionel felt powerless, not knowing what to do. Theseus was firm. If he couldn’t control his emotions, he should resign from his position as advisor. He said that stepping back to cool off would make him feel better. Yes, his brother was right. But……

Lionel left the room and walked quickly. Before he knew it, he was running. He stopped in front of a door, vowing never to open it again with such feelings. He gripped the doorknob tightly and tried to steady his rough breath.

“Does the Empress know about your feelings?”

Lionel began to examine his feelings for the first time. He lifted the blurry veil he had been trying to ignore and faced the emotions that throbbed like a heart. Admiration, respect, reverence. ……Is that all it is? The memory returned to that day. In the dark tent, she looked up at him, trapped in his arms, defenseless. Her transparent, straight forehead, her delicate eyebrows, her intense, sun-like eyes, her straight nose, the indented philtrum, and her red, full lips. They would be soft to touch, sweet to kiss. If our breaths intertwined, ……could my heart be shared too?

“Ah……”

Lionel leaned his forehead against the door and groaned. How foolish! The emotions that throbbed behind the blurry veil were so vivid, how could he think he could ignore them? Admiration, respect, reverence? It was laughable to think he could hide such burning desire with just those words. Lionel opened the door. The pale moonlight bathed the family room, where he had spent time with her, in a blue light. Taking a deep breath, he smelled the fragrance he always longed for. Admiration, respect, reverence? Lionel shook his head in despair. This is love. He had dared to harbor her in his heart. More than harboring, he wanted to touch her, to dream about her. Lifting the veil, Lionel finally acknowledged his true feelings and stepped into the pale room.

“Does the Empress know about your feelings?”

Recalling Theseus’s question, he slowly shook his head.

“You are the Minister of Defense, and I am the Empress of this country. Even though we maintain a relationship that seems to have no honor in the eyes of others, I am now saying that we should at least respect each other’s honor.”

That day, had she sensed his growing feelings? Was that why she said those words? Lionel’s face twisted in sadness. So, what could he do by revealing his true feelings to her? Lionel closed his eyes tightly. He pressed down on his boiling heart and thought calmly. Theseus told him to resign from his position. But Lionel didn’t want to. This relationship would only end when she said so. He wanted to hold on to it somehow. Even when he blamed himself for accepting the position, he never thought of immediately stepping down. So, it didn’t matter how it ended. He wouldn’t reveal his heavy, true feelings and ruin the relationship. She would be the Empress, and he would be the advisor. How could he maintain this relationship and resolve this boiling heart?

‘Lion, love is made up of 40% understanding, 40% patience, and 20% compassion. It ultimately means understanding and accepting. When you meet someone you love, cherish what they cherish, and share what they like.’

Recalling his late mother’s words, he closed his eyes and pictured Adel. What does she like? What does she want? What does she cherish? In doing so, Lionel realized he didn’t know her well. He slowly approached the window. The man’s face reflected in the blue window was twisted in sadness. But he ignored it and looked at the moon. The unusually bright moonlight made him feel particularly melancholic.