Chapter 83

The decision regarding the empress was made quickly. With the secret reason of "refusal of the night" and her own acknowledgment, the result came out swiftly. As she had failed to fulfill her duties as empress, it was only natural that all her positions in Echmont were stripped from her. However, she was not treated as a criminal. The judge, out of respect for a princess from a foreign country, allowed her to remain in the empress's palace where she had been staying until the people from Gotrop arrived. He added that she would be treated as a distinguished guest. Adel walked through the darkness. She felt neither the gaze of anyone nor the cold wind brushing against her cheeks. She just kept walking and walking. Her ears were muffled, as if she were submerged in water. Her whole body ached as if she had been beaten, and she felt lethargic. Her chest felt as if it were being squeezed by a large balloon, leaving no room to breathe.

"Haa..."

Adel took a long, deep breath. Still feeling constricted, she tried inhaling and exhaling again. Her breath turned white and dissipated. After several more breaths, she found herself at the empress's palace. The palace, shrouded in pitch-black darkness, seemed desolate, as if it knew it had lost its mistress. Lady Giggs hurriedly opened the door and led Adel inside. She silently stood by Adel's side, quickly lit the lamp in the bedroom, and boiled warm water.

"Your Majesty..."

Lady Giggs swallowed the title that had slipped out habitually, bit her lip, and slowly turned to look at Adel.

"..."

Adel stood there, staring blankly at the bed. Lady Giggs took a deep breath and slowly walked toward her, gently taking her hand.

"I'll bring you some comfortable clothes to change into. Please lie down and rest."

Adel looked at Lady Giggs's hand holding hers, then slowly raised her head to meet her gaze. Lady Giggs's face was calm, and her eyes were composed. Grateful for her serenity, Adel gazed at the old lady's eyes, which were like a cold snowfield, for a long time. As Adel's calm gaze met hers, the corners of the old lady's eyes began to turn red.

"...Don't cry, Lady."

"..."

The old lady looked at Adel with reddened eyes, then hugged her tightly and asked in a trembling voice.

"Why are you standing here..."

Adel blinked, then spoke as if unburdening herself.

"I don't know where to sit."

In this vast space, there is no place for me, so I don't know where to sit. Lady Giggs slowly stroked Adel's back. If her heart was aching this much, how much more must Adel be suffering? Adel did not push the old lady away but accepted her calm comfort. How long did they stay like that? The sound of hurried footsteps approached, and someone knocked on the door. Lady Giggs finally pulled away from Adel and hurriedly went to open the door. There stood Elizabeth. Lady Giggs quietly left the room, leaving the two of them alone. Seeing Adel standing motionless in the center of the room, Elizabeth felt a pang in her heart. The scenes of their journey in Gotrop, which had spanned hundreds of pages, flashed before her eyes. Elizabeth strode up to Adel and stood in front of her.

"...Grand Duke."

With a choked voice, Elizabeth took a deep breath and asked.

"Did you deny it?"

"..."

"If you had denied it and managed to delay the trial, there might have been another way. Why did you just..."

Adel laughed, incredulously. Elizabeth was at a loss for words at her detached smile, and Adel, after a moment of silence, spoke.

"I didn't want to do it anymore. I'm sorry."

Elizabeth's throat tightened at Adel's apology. Adel retrieved a thick document from the safe and handed it to Elizabeth.

"This is the document I promised to give you tomorrow morning. It will serve as evidence for the matter I mentioned earlier. Please keep the source confidential. If Despoina finds out, he won't let the informant off."

Elizabeth's hands trembled as she held the document. The empress before her was neither a close friend nor a sovereign. Yet, Elizabeth felt as if her heart was being torn apart, as if it were her own affair. The document in her hand was important, but more than that, the presence of this woman, Adelaide, loomed large. Elizabeth gazed at Adel for a long time before finally asking.

"What did you no longer want to do?"

Adel met Elizabeth's purple, wavering eyes and whispered.

"It was so heavy... so heavy that I just wanted to put it down."

Though her answer felt like a riddle, Princess Elizabeth understood her meaning.

"After dedicating so much to your country, why did you readily take a path that felt like exile? May I ask?"

"..."

Adel remained silent at Elizabeth's question. After a long silence, she answered.

"That was my final dedication. It was also an apology."

What was left for her at the end? What kind of dedication was it? Elizabeth's brows furrowed in pain as she looked at Adel.

"Have you ever lived for yourself, even for a moment in your life?"

"..."

Adelaide, who once said that she was the most important, could not answer Elizabeth's question. She just stared blankly at Elizabeth, who was crying for her. *** After Elizabeth left, Adel changed out of her elaborate dress into a simpler one. It was late at night, but she showed no intention of going to bed.

"Please rest a bit."

Adel looked at the worried lady.

"Don't worry about me. You should rest."

"...I heard that the envoy to Gotrop has left."

"..."

At her words, Adel's heart sank like a stone in water. She turned her head and closed her eyes. The faces of those she had left behind flashed through her mind. Then, Lucio's distorted face, looking at her, and... her mother. The thought of returning to her homeland as a deposed empress made her head throb and a chill run through her. Just then, there was a frantic knock, and a maid burst in. Lady Giggs, furious at the rudeness, glared at the maid, who explained urgently.

"His Majesty the Emperor is here!"

"The Emperor?"

Adel's eyes snapped open. Before Lady Giggs or Adel could say anything to the maid, rough footsteps approached, and the door burst open. The maid, frightened, stepped aside, and Lady Giggs, clenching her teeth, stood in front of Adel.

"Move aside."

"Even though she has been deposed, she is still the Princess of Gotrop, Your Majesty!"

"When did you become a Gotrop noble? Move aside now, Hannah Giggs."

"Even if you are the Emperor, you cannot do this."

The Emperor sighed deeply, turned his head, and ordered the maid hiding in the corner.

"You. Take Hannah Giggs outside."

The maid, startled, quickly approached Lady Giggs.

"Lady..."

Lady Giggs, glaring at the Emperor, tried to hold her ground, but the maid pulled her away, making it impossible for her to stand.

"Your Majesty, you cannot do this!!"

Lady Giggs shouted at the Emperor, but he ignored her. His gaze was fixed on Adel, who had appeared as Lady Giggs was dragged away. Adel looked out the window, refusing to meet his eyes. As the door closed, Karl took a step toward her.

"Adelaide."

As he said her name, emotion rose in his throat. Karl's eyes trembled violently.

"Adelaide."

As he said her name, a fierce resistance burst from Adel's chest. She glared at Karl.

"Don't say my name."

Karl, trembling with raw hostility, shuffled toward her. He paced back and forth, not knowing what to do, then slowly knelt and looked up at Adel.

"Do you not understand why I had to do this?"

Adel turned her head away from him.

"Please look at me."

"..."

Despite his desperate plea, she refused to look at him. Karl, forgetting he was the Emperor, looked at Adel with a wet face. His heart felt as if it were being torn apart. He realized something. The day he first met her, he had already fallen in love. The desire to possess her completely was, perhaps, love. It just took him too long to realize it, overshadowed by the shadow of the previous empress. By the time he realized it, their relationship had already soured. Like a flood that cannot be stopped, Karl could not control his overflowing emotions.

"I love you."

Adel's eyes slowly widened. She turned her head to look at Karl, who was looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

"What?"

"I love you."

Adel's eyes turned colder than ever.

"Love?"

Was the word "love" so repulsive? Karl, grasping at straws, clutched the hem of Adel's dress and said something he shouldn't have.

"I love you, which is why I wanted you by my side."

Adel's face contorted in horror. She yanked the hem of her dress from his grasp and shouted.

"Is that love?"

"..."

"Stop talking about love!"

As Adel took a step back, Karl stood up. With a distorted face, he pleaded with her.

"I regret and repent for the past when I humiliated and hurt you. But I often spoke sincerely to you and reached out my hand! It was you who rejected all my offers! It was you, Adelaide, who made me do this!"

At his words, Adel said with a resigned expression.

"Sincerity? You told me to be a feather on a quill, to just breathe and sit in the empress's position?"

"..."

Adel shook her head, swept her hair back, and looked out the window with an empty gaze. She took a deep breath and spoke.

"I admit that I did not fulfill my duties as empress, so I accepted the deposition. There is no reason for me to speak with Your Majesty anymore, so please leave."

Her firm attitude made Karl's anger boil. It felt like all the unreturned love was her fault.

"Can you endure the humiliation of being deposed?"

She remained silent, and Karl's eyes blazed with fury. This woman would never bend her pride. Even though he, the Emperor, had knelt and whispered love to her!

"You can't. You're not the type of person who can endure that."

Karl was certain. Adelaide would rather die than endure such humiliation. So, he said each word deliberately.

"I will give you time to think. If you promise to fulfill your duties as empress, I can make the deposition as if it never happened."

*** Time walked silently toward night, step by step, indifferent. After Karl left, Adel sat alone, enduring the silent passage of time. She had sent Lady Giggs away and slumped in her chair, barely breathing. She was so exhausted. As she reflected on her life, which flashed before her eyes, she suddenly remembered Elizabeth's words and muttered.

"...A life for myself..."

Adel looked at her hands with dry eyes. Her hands, which had tirelessly traversed the wilderness, were so rough that they didn't seem to belong to a princess.

"That was also a life for myself."

Even if she could go back in time, she would make the same choices and live the same life, so she had no regrets. Adel took her eyes off her hands and leaned back in her chair. But why was she so exhausted? She should be fiercely thinking about how to navigate this crisis, yet she just wanted to let everything go.

"Love... love."

Adel chuckled, remembering Karl's words. How could that ugly selfishness be love?

'I will support you no matter what you do.'

'Are you okay?'

'What do you like?'

Why, at this moment, did his gentle voice come to mind? Why did his soft, dark blue eyes come to mind? Why did Elizabeth's question about whether she had ever lived for herself come to mind? Adel curled up in pain.

"So... I deserved to be deposed. My heart..."

She had always lived fiercely, sometimes winning, sometimes retreating. But now, she was too tired to even think about where to retreat or how to face the situation. Adel got up and brought a small box from the safe. When she opened the lid of the Gotrop-style box, two small vials, about the size of an adult's thumb, appeared. It was said that the great general of Gotrop always carried deadly poison in his chest and said:

'Vanity of vanities. Born from nothingness and returning to nothingness, there is nothing to lose even in death.'

"...Is that so. Is there nothing to lose even in death..."

After that, Adel sat in the chair, the small vials on the table, and wandered in the deathly darkness until the dawn turned pale. It was then that he appeared.