Chapter 12

Working at the counter, that child I met when I was seven!

The crying face and the smiling face from back then, I remembered everything as vividly as if it were just yesterday!

"Did I become your knight?"

Uaaaaaaah.

My heart beats like a rapid bell. My face turns red.

To think she had become such a lovely, cute girl.

Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cuteeeeee!!

It had been three years since we last met. As if drawn by the threads of fate, along with the memories from back then, the loving feelings I had forgotten swelled up greatly...

I feel like I'm going to vomit.

Why is that?

Why do I feel this way? I became nauseous with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

I look at Cerea.

Her eyes are wide open, and she has turned pale.

She is shaking violently. The hand that is gripping the window frame has turned white.

"C-Cerea?"

Tears are streaming down Cerea's eyes.

"Let's go!"

I can't stay here any longer!

I got this feeling.

I run across the street.

"Watch out!"

Shrigan runs out and stops the horse in front of us.

We didn't even notice such a thing.

"Watch out, you fool!"

The driver yells at us. Shrigan picks us up and carries us back to the bench where Bell is.

"Hey, what happened to the young master and the young lady?"

Ha, ha, ha, Cerea is holding her chest and breathing heavily.

"Hyperventilation. Let her rest a bit."

Bell lays Cerea down on her lap.

"I'll go get a carriage."

Saying that, Shrigan calls a nearby guard.

The guard is surprised to see us. He didn't realize we were related to the palace. Shrigan gives quick instructions, and the guard's carriage arrives.

"Are you okay? Cerea"

Cerea's face is pale, and she is trembling uncontrollably.

I am too. I can't stop trembling.

Cerea is carried back to the mansion by Bell.

"It seems she just felt unwell."

Bell explains to the maids who are greeting us, and we enter the mansion.

...I also greet the maids and take my leave.

"Your Highness"

From the driver's seat, Shrigan asks without turning around.

"Did you do something terrible to that girl?"

"...Maybe."

"I don't know what you did, but..."

Shrigan is in a bad mood...

"If you ever hurt that girl, I will despise you for the rest of my life."

I might have done something worthy of being despised.

I can't sleep even at night. I can't get that girl out of my head.

Cerea too.

I want to see Cerea.

I want to talk to her. No, I feel like something terrible will happen if I don't see her. The other me inside me is shouting that I have to go see her now.

I get out of bed, change clothes.

My favorite collection of civilian clothes.

I put on shoes, take a rope from my tool box, put it in a shoulder bag, along with leather gloves and a hat. I sneak out of my room and head for the hidden door in the salon.

I crawl through the underground tunnel that no one except the royal family knows about, and emerge from a well outside the castle. A slightly crescent moon illuminates the outside.

I run, run, and run through the completely empty town below the castle.

I hide from the adults who are still drinking and making noise, and go through back alleys, back alleys, to the Collette Duke's residence. I circle around, find a gap in the hedge, and slip in.

There are no dogs or guards...

I sneak up to the balcony under Cerea's room and look up.

The light is still on. A dim light, like a single candle.

Cerea was crying.

She opens the window, steps out onto the balcony, and holds onto the railing.

"Sniff... hic, waaah... sniff, hic, waaah..."

She vomits, sobs, and wipes away the tears streaming down her face with the sleeve of the cute white negligee I saw once.

...She's just a child.

Just a ten-year-old child, sad and crying.

I thought, for a moment, that Cerea might actually be older than me. Even if she died at ten and her memory returned at ten, she might still be older than me.

I was wrong.

Cerea is the same as me, a ten-year-old child.

I am the one making her cry.

It's my responsibility.

Making this girl cry in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep, unable to sleep. My heart feels constricted.

I will eventually break off our engagement and make her unhappy.

It's not just a future thing. I am already making Cerea unhappy and making her cry. I'm the worst, aren't I...

"(Cerea!)"

"(Master Shin!)"

When I call out softly, Cerea is surprised. Of course.

She hastily wipes her face with the sleeve of her negligee.

"(I'll throw the rope, tie it up!)"

"(In the middle of the night, alone!?)"

"(I couldn't stand it, I had to come and see you. Listen to me!)"

The rope I threw hangs down from the balcony.

Cerea ties it to the balcony railing.

Yank, yank, yank. I put on leather gloves and climb up.

"...Master Shin, at such a late hour"

"It's not late. Cerea was awake too."

"...I couldn't sleep."

We both enter the room.

Cerea sits on the bed. I pull a chair and sit next to the bed.

"Are you okay today? How's your body?"

"I'm fine now. I've calmed down."

Still, her red, swollen eyes are pitiful.

"Um"

"Yes"

"Um, um, do you know the girl at that shop?"

Shudder, shudder, shudder. She shakes her head.

"I've never seen her before. But I understand."

"Ah, me too..."

"You met that girl when you were seven, right?"

"...Yeah"

Cerea cries.

The tears won't stop.

"I felt intense jealousy when I saw that girl."

"Huh?"

"That girl is prettier than me."

"That's not true, Cerea is prettier."

It's a lie. That girl is prettier.

"That girl is cuter than me."

"Cerea is cuter."

It's a lie. That girl was much cuter.

"That girl is much more wonderful than me."

"That's not true!"

It's a lie. That girl's smile was wonderful. It made my heart race.

No, what am I thinking.

That can't be! There's no way that girl is prettier, cuter, or more wonderful than Cerea!

Cerea is my fiancée! My cute bride! I will protect Cerea for the rest of my life! There's no way I could like another girl more than Cerea!

"I hated that girl. I wanted to be really mean to her. I wanted to bully her. I thought that girl would take Master Shin away from me. I couldn't bear it... If I keep this up, I will really bully that girl. I'm a terrible person."

"No, Cerea isn't like that."

"I'm really ugly and mean."

"Absolutely not!"

"I will be hated by Master Shin. You will hate me."

"I will never hate you!"

...Sniff, hic, sniff...

I don't know what to do with Cerea, who is just crying.

This might be the game's forced element.

The beautiful memories that came back to me the moment I saw that girl were so sweet that they melted my brain. And the ugly jealousy that hurt Cerea's heart is like a curse, eating away at her heart. I think it's so cruel. I can't accept this.

Next: "13. Vow"