Chapter 100

"It's precisely because I trust you from the bottom of my heart that I can't just stand here now. Even if it means pushing myself to the limit, I have to cut off Lagias' retreat. I believe that's what I should do now."

Rugis' words trailed off, as if to say there was nothing more to say. In response, Eldis' lips trembled. Her azure eyes pierced through Rugis' eyes.

"―Is that the end of your excuses? Honestly, I can't accept it. I'm completely dissatisfied. You don't even understand how that silver-haired child felt when she headed to the front lines."

Eldis spoke as if discarding all of Rugis' words.

When she said that, his face showed no reaction. Eldis' cheeks naturally twisted, as if she had been suddenly bitten by a snake.

Her azure eyes sparkled, and her eyebrows rose. Her expression was unmistakably filled with anger. Her lips were sharply pointed in dissatisfaction, and her tone of voice overflowed with the rage swirling in her chest.

"I hate your nature. The way you exclude yourself from the number of sacrifices, and the way you don't even try to understand others' feelings."

Eldis glared at Rugis, who still wore a confused expression.

Eldis, who usually didn't show her emotions, now had a face that vividly expressed her feelings.

Rugis must not understand.

How much the silver-haired swordsman had poured her heart into heading to the battlefield. How she felt, watching him leave from beneath her, not understanding any of it. Eldis deeply understood this at this moment.

Eldis' eyebrows sharply arched.

"To be honest, I had no intention of speaking to you at all. I thought it was a matter of respect and my own pride."

And he didn't want to show any weakness.

There are two reasons why Eldis sends her phantom to the front lines.

One is to fulfill her duty. As the supreme commander, she must not overlook the dying soldiers and the hell that lies in her hands.

The second is that she couldn't bear to just wait for Rugis.

What if he was dying on the battlefield? The thought that his back, which he turned to fulfill his duty, might be heading to his death, couldn't be dispelled.

The frustration and anxiety that clawed at her heart were undoubtedly one of the reasons she chose to use the phantom.

Eldis understood that having such feelings was a grave mistake as the supreme commander. She should suppress her personal feelings and act as the one who is to be obeyed. It was an unacceptable act.

She didn't want to show such a pitiful side to Rugis. Even though she had already shown it, she didn't want to show it again.

Moreover, speaking to him on the battlefield through the phantom seemed like a terribly cowardly act to Eldis.

Speaking to him in a safe place while he was in a deathtrap, just to satisfy her own anxiety, was a despicable way of being.

In fact, until now, Eldis had clenched her teeth and silently watched the soldiers' deaths and Rugis' reckless combat activities. Even when she exchanged words with the silver-haired girl, she didn't close her eyes, suppressing her own emotions.

But at this moment, those feelings wouldn't subside.

"You can't read people's hearts, can you?" Rugis muttered, a pipe in his mouth.

"My ears hurt, and you're absolutely right. But it's impossible for me to understand. A person like me can't possibly read people's hearts—"

"―You talk as if you understand. When you don't even try to read them."

Eldis instinctively snapped at the words Rugis must have struggled to say, despite his agitation. A feeling close to shame rose in her chest.

She blushed, embarrassed by her own thoughtless, childlike reaction. But the emotions overflowing in her heart spilled out of her throat, and she couldn't stop them.

"I admit, I don't know you deeply. I only know about your life in the tower. In fact, there's so much I don't know."

It was frustrating. It was vexing.

Surely the silver-haired swordsman and the black-haired magician knew aspects of him that she didn't. The mere thought of it burned her throat.

So, it shouldn't matter to her if the promises between them and Rugis were broken. It shouldn't matter.

"But I can say this. You are hopelessly foolish. Do we, do they, not deserve such trust? Are we so weak that we can't live without sacrificing you?"

The phantom cannot touch objects. Its fingertips cannot move anything.

But Eldis brought the phantom close to Rugis, as if entrusting her body to him. Her fingertips seemed to touch Rugis' cheek.

Of course, they passed through his cheek, not touching it. Eldis felt the emotions overflowing in her chest through her azure eyes.

"There are no words to respond. Eldis—"

"Don't apologize. I'm not the one you should apologize to, you fool. As your knight, it's shameful to act like this."

Eldis understood that Rugis was about to apologize, finally opening his lips. So, she didn't let him say those words.

Rugis' hand, which had been resting on the phantom's shoulder, trembled.

Even if he apologized to her, Eldis had no intention of forgiving Rugis.

At this moment, she understood well. He would move forward, even if it meant only he would be hurt, as if it were natural. As if it were his role, as if it had been ingrained in him by someone, somewhere.

She couldn't forgive it. She didn't know who or where, but Rugis' consciousness was undoubtedly bound by the foolish notion of sacrificing himself first.

It was almost instinctive. He belittled himself and believed that even his death could be used to achieve his goal, as if it were etched into his soul.

She didn't know who or how, but she couldn't forgive it.

But, so what. If she understood the reason, it was simple. If such a curse bound Rugis, she would carve another curse over it. This time, she would be the one to do the cursing.

Rugis once said he wouldn't let her escape. Then, she would do the same. She would never let him escape. She would free his bound spirit and bind it again, this time by her.

So, Eldis repeated her words, as if each word was a curse, mixing the faint, dark emotions rising within her.

"―It's fine. If you want to go, if you command me to, I will take you to Lagias. But don't forget. You're not just me. You're trampling on the feelings of the silver-haired child, and the feelings of the other comrades as you move forward."

Eldis moved her small lips, embracing the phantom, and whispered in Rugis' ear.

She wanted to entangle it in his mind. She wanted to make him realize, over and over, that he wasn't just sacrificing himself, but also trampling on someone else's feelings.

To never, ever, let him do such a foolish thing again, sacrificing himself first.