Chapter 70

Matia's well-defined eyebrows furrowed slightly, and her lips trembled.

In the darkness, though she thought no one would notice, Matia gently reined in her emotions, trying not to let her expression falter. The feeling of shame burned within her, raging and tormenting her.

She felt embarrassed. Why had she, who knew nothing of such thoughts, spoken her emotions so freely? It was ridiculous.

Matia understood that her strength lay in her rationality and strategic thinking.

She believed that to navigate the world, one must wear a saintly face while harboring a venomous heart. Since childhood, she had been expected to behave as a saint or a holy maiden, and she had fully embraced this reality. In fact, she felt that revealing one's emotions was the most unseemly way to live.

That was why her white cheeks flushed. What a disgraceful display.

—I am not grateful to you. No, rather, I resent you.

The sensation of the swaying carriage strangely resonated in her knees. Matia tried to prevent her cheeks from tensing up.

Ah, I resent you. I do. The curse that had clung to her shoulder was about to slip away in just a few moments. She would have lost everything, but in return, she would have gained the salvation of living and dying as a holy maiden.

Even if the result meant the collapse of the Emblem Church. The thought of it, no matter how horrifying it was as a holy maiden, had brought a moment of pleasure.

However, Matia still had to question her own actions. Even if her heart was seething with resentment, there was no need to express it to him now.

Her life, which had somehow been prolonged, must fulfill its duty as a holy maiden until the end.

At most, she should express a harmless gratitude and continue to use the adventurer who called himself Lugis effectively. Matia understood that this was the best course of action and that there was no need to cause problems with him or them here.

But the emotions swirling in her heart would not allow it.

All of this, everything, was because of him, Lugis.

It was pitiful. As a holy maiden, she should not be showing such agitation. There were followers around the carriage. Matia bit her lip again, just enough to go unnoticed.

In fact, Matia had been saved by Lugis. There was no problem in expressing gratitude for that. But she could not forget what had happened then. The words that clawed at her heart still lingered in her mind.

—Even at a time like this, don't put on that holy maiden act.

I am a holy maiden. Always, always. No matter when, Matia had always been a holy maiden. Yet, this man had dared to deny that she was a holy maiden.

No, that's not all. There was also gratitude for saving her life, but there was also resentment for robbing her of the opportunity to be freed from all her burdens through death. Oh, it was all so confusing. This was the first time she had felt this way.

In her mind, several versions of herself were making different arguments. Matia blinked, tilting her head in confusion at the whirlwind of emotions.

Losing control of her emotions to this extent felt like she had returned to her childhood, before she had put on the mask of rationality, before she had become a holy maiden.

That was impossible. Matia tightened her expression again.

From the past to the present, she had undoubtedly lived as a holy maiden. That would not change until her death. Why did she have to be emotionally disturbed by such a despicable man? Matia did not understand.

In any case, she could not end this by exposing her unseemly emotions. Matia let out a light sigh, steadied her breathing, and moved her lips.

—Why do you look so dissatisfied? Surely, that rescue was just to get a thank you from me. In the end, heroes are only that level.

She spoke these words without opening her lips. Her eyelids closed, and her cheeks twitched.

It was strange. She should have been able to come up with countless diplomatic phrases and ways to wrap malice in polite words. Yet, why were the words that came to mind now so venomous, so toxic? She had never spoken her emotions so freely, not even to her parents since childhood.

She steadied her breathing again and, this time, carefully crafted her words in her mind.

—Let me make it clear, I won't be sleeping. I can't trust what you might do while I'm asleep.

She did not speak again until morning.

*

The sun was about to rise. The carriage suddenly stopped. I had just spit out a chewed tobacco that had lost its flavor.

In the end, I hardly slept at all. I was worried about a possible attack from the Great Holy Church, and the holy maiden seemed different from her usual self. In the end, it was probably just me being overly cautious.

"Your Holiness—there is a shadow of a monster ahead of the carriage."

"What should we do?" said the guard, still holding the reins.

Following his words, I glanced ahead. The land was mostly covered with vegetation, beyond the reach of human hands, and we had entered the territory of the elves. The carriage was already traveling on a path without a proper road, cutting through the underbrush with its hooves. It was natural to encounter wild beasts or monsters in such a place.

A few horse lengths ahead of the carriage, a giant ape sat.

It was much larger than any horse. Moreover, it was not just big. Its eyes glowed a deep red, and its mouth, hidden by fur, was actually on its belly. Its arms and legs were bulging with muscles, each one as strong as steel. It could easily crush a rock with a flick of its fingers.

"Hmm... I've never seen one like this. I've heard that new types of monsters are appearing, but are they of this kind?"

As I leaned out of the carriage to look at the unfamiliar monster, Karia's face appeared beside me. She must have been woken by the carriage's movement or when I shifted my head. Her silver hair swayed next to me.

"If there is another way around, we should take it. If not... we will have to force our way through."

The guard knights immediately began to search the surroundings. However, it was probably a futile effort. The elves' territory was mostly covered by trees, and they did not approve of cutting them down to make roads. This large road was built when this area was still within human territory.

Matia glanced at me slightly. Was she implying that I should be counted as a combatant in case of an emergency?

Honestly, I would rather not. That monster was not something an ordinary person like me could defeat in a head-on battle. It was a creature that required a group of fully armed knights to confront. At first glance, it did not seem that threatening.

"By the way, you seemed to know a lot about the new types of monsters. What do you think of that one? Has your brain, which is good at keeping secrets, heard anything about it?"

Karia's finger tapped my head lightly. She still seemed to suspect that I was hiding something. It was true that I had secrets, but everyone had them.

"Well, if it comes to it, I have a plan. Besides, even if it's a monster, trampling through the elves' territory with our boots is not a good idea."

However, I stroked my chin with my finger. So, these creatures were already roaming around the edges of the elves' territory by this time. It was not entirely unexpected, but it was surprising.

Indeed, or rather, as expected. The world was already preparing for a great disaster.

The air in my lungs felt strangely heavy.