Chapter 93

The Holy Maiden's voice shook the battlefield dramatically at that moment. The silver light that was about to shatter her skull wavered for an instant, trembling with hesitation.

It was the first time. The first time this woman, this Varianne, showed a gap in her composure. It lasted only a brief moment, a mere breath. Moreover, my reliable sword had been knocked away, leaving me with no weapon in hand.

But it was enough. More than enough. In the battlefield, that instant was worth more than gold.

"---Ooo---Oooaaahh!"

A barbaric voice that seemed to tear at the nerves.

I twisted my body, making my shoulder pulse with energy. I gathered momentum with my entire body and, with my right arm, which seemed to have no strength left, I forcefully struck Varianne's throat. Instantly, my ears caught an unpleasant, very unpleasant sound.

This was no longer about using my arm. It was simply a method of using a tool as a weapon.

With a sickening sensation, my fingertips sank into flesh, and a burning heat, as if my fingers had been shot off, traveled through my right hand to my brain.

In front of my eyes, I saw my own fingers break, piercing Varianne's neck with the tips of my bones and nails. My right hand pulsed with a distorted sensation that could hardly be called pain.

It was utterly despicable. A technique that could never be shown to anyone. It was nothing more than a fight between gutter rats.

Before me, Varianne's face, with hands seemingly sprouting from her throat, was spitting out blood as if sobbing, and her throat was making a sound.

Her esophagus must have been damaged. Even breathing must have caused her excruciating pain.

Now, I would give her a merciful end.

As I thought this, I suddenly met Varianne's gaze. It was the first time I had faced her directly. Besides, we had hardly exchanged any words. I knew almost nothing about her.

But even so, by looking into her eyes, which still held a glimmer of light, I understood. She must be here for something significant, for something she wanted to grasp, which brought her to this battlefield.

I took out the only knife left in my pocket with my left hand. Varianne clenched her teeth, blood dripping from her lips, and tried to move her body.

She had the will to live. Dying was foolish, and she had not yet accepted defeat. Even with my fingers piercing her throat, the light in her eyes had not dimmed.

I did not know her. I probably never would. I could not know why she fought, why she betrayed us. It would be presumptuous to think I understood her from this brief encounter.

So, I would kill her here.

I would cut her throat, tear out her blood and flesh. No matter what will she held, no matter what reason she had. As a matter of battlefield etiquette, I would kill her.

I slowly raised the knife with my left hand. It felt strangely heavy, perhaps for the first time.

And then, I thrust the blade into the side of Varianne's neck, forcing it to gouge out her vertebrae.

The sensation of tearing fibers and gouging flesh, along with nerves and bones, with the tip of the blade.

The blood that spurted out was black. I could no longer clearly understand how I was. I could only feel the pain in my fingers, as if they had been bitten by her.

---Varianne's eyes seemed to be looking at something other than me, something else, until the moment they lost their light.

The moment her body lost its strength and became heavy, a sense of shame washed over the depths of my heart.

I did not understand. I did not know this female elf. Not in the past, not now. I had never known her way of life, her will.

But I thought it. I whispered it from the depths of my heart, just like I had once, like Fiarrath.

If this were the hero Helt Stanley, this woman would not have died, I thought.

If he were a hero, he would surely have known a way to save even a traitor like her. With his strength, with his great capacity, he might have extended a hand to save her. Perhaps he would not have let her betray him in the first place.

All of this, in the end, was just speculation. It was something that could never happen. Yet, deep down, it felt as if it were true.

I am not a hero, not a hero at all.

"...Thank you, Holy Maiden. I thought I would die alone in the end. Well, it seems I've failed to die again."

Footsteps came from behind. It must have been the Holy Maiden Mathia, who had just spoken. Yes, this is a battlefield. There is no time to indulge in pointless sentimentality.

I let out a deep sigh and managed to mutter those words in that instant.

"...Oh, I'm a Holy Maiden, am I? I didn't know. And what do you mean, die alone? What do you mean, failed to die?"

Fiarrath's voice, filled with emotions that could hardly be called pleasant, pierced my ears. It seemed to carry a hint of magic, too.

I see, I see. I felt a nasty sweat crawling down my forehead.

Indeed, it was not the time to indulge in sentimentality.

◇◆◇◆

"You are a bottomless fool. At least the fools that spread in the world have a bottom, making them somewhat better."

Karia said, her lips pursed, "There won't be a next time for me."

Her silver eyes seemed to pierce through me, making me feel a chill in my core.

However, even if I tried to avert my gaze, black eyes were staring at me from very close by, filled with a near-ferocious emotion.

Karia and Fiarrath, both formidable forces on the battlefield. The chill in my heart might be a remnant of our past journey, or perhaps a different emotion was budding.

"Yes, of course I was saved. I didn't intend to die. I had plans to survive."

"Really? It doesn't sound very convincing. If it's true, I don't want you to easily let go. It's too dangerous to watch."

Am I a brat or something?

Fiarrath, has he forgotten that this is a battlefield? His pursuit of words is unusually intense. She clung to my arm, her gaze never leaving me, making me feel oddly uneasy.

Of course, such a relaxed conversation can only last for a brief moment on the battlefield.

The emblem knights, having conserved their strength, were formidable. Moreover, they were experienced in battle. The difference between them and the elf soldiers, who were new to war, was like heaven and earth.

Even though their numbers were overwhelmingly inferior, the soldiers Varianne led retreated after losing their commander and being struck by the emblem knights.

This brief respite before the next unit was ready.

However, the next wave would not be so easy. Varianne's soldiers were a decoy, and Lagias' main force, fully prepared, would launch a charge. The emblem knights, though formidable, were far outnumbered by the elf soldiers. They could not deliver a decisive blow to turn the tide.

Furthermore, the enemy seemed determined to end the battle quickly. Their momentum was too fierce, and it did not seem they were planning for a prolonged conflict.

The reason was unclear. I had thought time was on the enemy's side, but there must be some other factor at play.

"So, how long are you going to remain so weak and dazed?"

Mathia spoke as if she had been waiting for the right moment. Her voice, as always, resonated clearly. Her lips slightly pursed, she continued.

"We don't have time. This is a turning point. We must decide whether to retreat, seeing no benefit in continuing the fight, or to charge forward, ready to step onto thin ice. The decision must be made now."

She was right. The brief respite we had been given. The decision we made now would determine everything, the outcome of this battlefield, and even the survival of the elf race.

Now, a decision must be made. To retreat or to advance. Decisions come when they must, whether we avoid them or not. So, now is the time.

"So, what is the Holy Maiden's decision?"

I let my lips quiver, trying to make my words sound light. Mathia's gaze sharpened for a moment. She was so serious. Words that are too heavy sink into the heart and never come out. A moderate lightness is just right.

"...Rugis. What is your opinion? You must be full of devious ideas again."

Her words surprised me.

I had understood during our journey to Gazaria that Mathia disliked me. So, why was she asking for my opinion? I tilted my head in confusion.

"There is no deep meaning. You have a lot of experience. I want to use it as a basis for my judgment. In that sense, yes... I do trust you."

She cut her words short and stared at me intently. Her eyes seemed to hold an unusual force, making me feel pressured.

But trust, what a great honor. For someone like me, who had rarely been trusted or asked for opinions, it was an overwhelming honor. Whether my words truly had any meaning, I could not tell.

I moved my jaw slowly, as if mocking myself.

"Of course, we must go forward. That's why we came here. At least, that's what I believe."