V1C20

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“Oh hey, Zappy! I’m sorry for ann—” I begin to apologize to the owner of that melodious voice, when Tarō’s yelling interrupts me.

“Whoah! Now this is what I’d been waiting for from an isekai!” Not only does he interrupt me, he also snatches the source of the voice right out of the air! What an idiot!

“Wh—what’s the meaning of this?!” the voice rings out, rage warping its tenor. Then, its owner retaliates with their powers.

Zzzt zzzt zzzt zzt!

“Argh!” A sound like thunder accompanies a flash of blinding light, and Tarō’s anguished cry reverberates in the resulting silence.

By the time the flash dissipates, Tarō lies collapsed at my feet, twitching sporadically.

I fix my eyes on her. “You didn’t kill him, Zappy, did you?”

“Hey there, Marron! It sure has been a while.” The small girl floating in the air in front of me—and I mean small, like twice the size my palm small—puts her hands on her hips, her return gaze transforming into a glare. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times—don’t call me Zappy! I have a name. It’s Altrosen.” Her two dragonfly wings buzzing faster than I can see, she adjusts her position to look down on Tarō’s unconscious body. The hem of her light and frilly dress twirls around her knees as she turns to look back at me just as quickly, a look of disapproval now on her face. “Just wondering, do you know this oaf?”

I want to make one thing clear. I do know that her name is Altrosen. The problem is that it’s long and hard for me to say, so I call her Zappy instead. I call her that because, when she’s mad, she zaps people so hard they stop being able to move. You know, like she just did to Tarō.

I nod my head. “Yeah. I met him yesterday. His name’s Tarō. I’m sorry for bringing him here without asking first. It’s just that he’s helpless. He’s almost twice my age, but he can barely catch a single slime on his own. I thought, if I brought him here, he might be able to at least catch some.” I glance down at his body. I think that was a twitch. “I already asked this once, but I really need you to answer. Did you kill him?”

“Him? No way. He’s totally fine! Among us fairies, killing is forbidden. My electric shock isn’t that bad—let’s say I shock ten people, at least eight of them will make it out alive. So you have nothing to worry about!”

That leaves two dead, Zappy. I guess it’s a looser definition of forbidden.

*****************

“Ugh, everything hurts…” After quite some time, Tarō’s eyelids flutter open, and he gets unsteadily to his feet. “Marron, question. What the hell’s that violent pipsqueak? In the games I play, cute little monsters like that are supposed to serve you if you catch them. Not… this.”

I’m not sure it’s a good idea to call Zappy “violent” or “pipsqueak” right in front of her face like that. Don’t blame me if you end up zapped back into oblivion.

“How dare you”—the fairy’s high, tense voice rings out—“call me violent. You were the who violated my personal space, you dolt. Frankly, I can’t understand how you ever thought it was okay to wrap your hand around a lady like that. It’s such egregious behavior that you should just be thankful you’re still alive to groan about your just desserts!” Her eyes narrow dangerously. “And I can’t even find the words to describe how offended I am that you called me a ‘monster’ just now. Did you spout that dribble knowing who I am, knowing that I am a leader of the fairies, rulers of this forest? I hope for your sake, you didn’t.”

By the end of her tirade, her normally wavy blonde hair is standing on end. This person (?) is one of the leaders of the fairies whose territory this forest is. You might not expect it based on her appearance, though. She’s beautiful, obviously, and she looks so young you’d believe her if she said she wasn’t even twenty yet. But the truth is she’s more than a hundred years old! It’s crazy.

When I heard that the first time, I asked her if that meant she was a grandma. I got zapped for that one. Apparently it’s forbidden to remind a lady about her age.

“Man, what is up with this world,” Tarō grumbles. “Are you telling me that all fairies here are prone to fits of violence? I thought they were supposed to be like nice and help people and stuff.”

Are you really still on this? How is anybody supposed to respond to a complaint like that?

Zappy raises an eyebrow and turns to address me instead. “Hey Marron, what’s up with this guy? Doesn’t he know that fairies and humans do their best not to interfere in each other’s lives? Everybody should, I thought. Don’t your human children still hear from their mothers that they shouldn’t set even one foot in the fairy’s forest, lest they be cursed for the rest of their short lives?”

She looks like she’s passed amazement and has settled comfortably in the realm of disbelief. An appropriate reaction to Tarō and his special ability to know nothing that everyone else knows.

I resist the urge to sigh. “I’m sorry about Tarō and the strange things he says. You should know that it’s not really his fault—he has ‘a disease of the heart.’ It’s called chūnibyō. He can’t tell the difference between reality and fantasy, and he sometimes blurts out weird stuff. There’s also the fact that he just showed up in town yesterday. He came from a place called Japan, and things are apparently a bit different there.” The urge again. I tamp it down. “He doesn’t mean anything by it. He just doesn’t know things that even little kids around here know. Could you forgive him? Could you find pity for him as a sick boy and forgive him?”

At least one person can’t, as Tarō cuts in snapping, “Oh here we go again. Look, I’m freaking sorry for not freaking knowing anything. Can we stop treating me like a mental patient?”

This guy. This freaking guy. I’m trying to cover your butt here, and you have to complain? If you don’t want people to treat you like you’re insane, maybe start acting like you aren’t.

“Hmm…” Zappy crosses her arms and taps her foot briefly in the air. “A foreigner in a strange land with a diseased heart. That does count as some sort of excuse, I think. So I’ll forgive him, for you, Marron.”

She can’t get it out without sighing a few times, but she does get it out. She’s calmed herself down, and it no longer looks like Tarō’s inching closer to joining the twenty percent. In fact, based on the look in her eyes, it seems she did manage to find that pity.

But the eyes she turns toward me have a completely different look. “Well then, I’ve graciously turned a blind eye to this man’s boorish behavior. But you, on the other hand, still have to answer for yours. I gave you special permission to enter our forest, Marron, and I specifically told you not to bring any strange people with you.”

Oh frick. Now it’s my turn to get yelled at.