CH 7

Kasuga Hina and Kujou Shizuki and Their Answer!

The following day after we came back from the outdoor school, I just made it through all the classes of the day, and…Phew, I’m tired. My legs felt as heavy as lead. My body felt sluggish like I had caught a cold. Emotionally, I felt quite depressed. All the curious gazes directed at me felt like sharp thorns, tearing holes into my body. After all, information about the kissing incident spread like a wildfire. I’ve heard people discussing it here and there, and Ooba’s group asked me directly…

I guess this is the influence of the normie social information network that has the school in its grasp…If Chisaka-senpai were to give it a name, then normies are basically school influencers. They’re looking at me like a zoo animal, treating me like an alien. Ahh…it really doesn’t feel that great. However, I can’t give up just yet. After all…

“…Shizuki-kun, can I have a moment?”

“Ah, K-Kasuga…”

That’s right, I still haven’t apologized to Kasuga. I mean, Aramiya was the one who kissed me, and I should be the victim, but…Well, that doesn’t change the fact that I kissed another girl in front of my girlfriend. Rather than simple logic, my emotions made me feel guilty…Since we were active during the outdoor school, our future course club took a day off, but right after leaving the classroom, Kasuga captured me…No, this is actually pretty lucky for me.

I don’t know what kind of change happened inside of Kasuga, but let alone calling, she didn’t even message me on LINE. I mean, it’s Kasuga Hina we’re talking about, it’s like the world is going to end tomorrow. There’s even a chance that she’s stopped having feelings for me…And yet, now she called out to me. She might reject me after all that, but at least we get to talk. Of course, it wasn’t the kind of conversation I would loathe, but rather one I myself was hoping for.

“I don’t mind, but if it’s a longer story, maybe we should change locations?”

“Yeah…so then, maybe we should head to the clubroom…”

And then, a few minutes later—Kasuga and I came to the empty clubroom. The orange sunlight of the setting sun shone in from the windows, and the sounds from the soccer club, the sound of the bat hitting the baseball at the baseball club’s practice, even the people talking as they went home, those who are happy that the day was over, all of that sounded like it wasn’t part of my own world. It was only the two of us standing there.

Kasuga was directly looking at me, and yet I couldn’t look at her face at all because of my timid personality, even if it sounded like an excuse. The pointers of the clock looked large, as my eye traced the way they moved, when Kasuga’s rose-colored and beautiful lips opened up, as I could see in the corner of my eye.

“Shizuki-kun, are you still continuing the faux loner project with Remi-chan?”

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

“That’s the first thing you’re asking me? Honestly, I thought…you’d ask about the kiss…”

“So…you really don’t get it…”

“What is it?”

“……I mean, of course I’d be bothered by the fact that you kissed another girl. But, personally, rather than worrying about that kiss, I’m more concerned about the faux loner business.”

What does she mean? Is the whole faux loner thing such a big deal? It mostly just happens when Aramiya feels like it, right.

“It’s true that I was sulking a lot because of the kiss. I was jealous, really.”

“R-Right…”

“But, it’s not like you allowed her to kiss you, right?”

“Yeah, that I will swear. It just happened so suddenly, I didn’t know how to react…”

“I’m sure that Remi-chan didn’t actively try to steal you from me, but rather that she simply was trying to show her affection, like a foreigner greeting someone else. Though, I have yet to confirm that with her…”

Basically, she didn’t see this as some kind of proof of romantic affection, and instead a type of communication and skinship? I mean, the second she chooses a kiss for that, and I hesitate to say that myself, doesn’t that show her affection towards me is pretty high?

“S-So…as for the answer you want to hear…It depends on Aramiya…She seems more than motivated, so I’ll probably have to help her.”

“I-I see…That…makes sense.” Kasuga showed an expression like a puppy being left outside.

She seemed sad, lonely, suffering, and close to breaking out in tears.

“To properly explain myself, it’s pretty much the same reason I had before we started dating. Aramiya will definitely not give up that easily, no matter how much I fight back. So before she pulls me into it anyway…”

“You’d rather help her right away and end things quicker?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“………” There, Kasuga lowered her head, as a shadow appeared on her face.

Her dazzling smile like the shining sun had disappeared for good. Negative emotions clouded her attitude, making it seem like she was suddenly turned into a grey scale. The person in question is standing right in front of me, so of course I wouldn’t realize. That being said, that doesn’t mean I automatically understand everything like an all-knowing deity.

“W-What’s wrong? Did I say something weird…?”

“Sniff…”

“…Eh?”

“Sniff…Hic…Sniff…Shizuki-kun you dummy…”

For some reason, Kasuga started crying. What should I do about this? I don’t know why she started crying. And even if I did, I wouldn’t know how to stop the tears. I just instinctively knew that I had to speak up. The girl I like is crying in front of me, so as a man, I should do something. However, the big problem is that the reason for those tears was undoubtedly Kujou Shizuki.

“Sorry…I don’t get it, so please explain it to me…”

“Sniff…Hic…”

“I’ll do my best to change, so tell me the answer…I can’t understand you, but seeing you cry, then I realize that it’s my fault, and it hurts…”

Before, I selfishly decided Kasuga’s happiness for her. I figured that she’d be happier with the other normies, took my distance from her, even though she always told me that she was happier with me. In the end, it was just my foolish selfishness. Thinking back on it, if I had just talked with her about it, and if she wouldn’t be happier with someone else, all of that could have been avoided. Of course, all the blame was on me for that incident.

That’s why, I need to be aware of that mistake, and not repeat it again. In order to avoid that, I have to properly ask her what’s wrong to get the answer I need. However, Kasuga just…

“Shizuki-kun, you’ll turn me into your ideal girl, right?”

“Y-Yeah, because I promised…”

“You promised to make me into a perfect loner.”

“Yup, I remember that.”

I perfectly remember doing that promise. However, Kasuga kept crying, and…

“~~~! If you’re going to shape a girl the way you like it, and if you have two or more girls…then it doesn’t have to be me, right…”

“—Ah.”

Changing the member of the opposite sex the way you want it. Whether it’s in a normal novel, a light novel, a movie, a drama, an anime, a manga for men, a shoujo manga, in games, it might not be omni-present, but it’s definitely there. And, if there’s two or more members of the opposite sex who aim for that position, then it really doesn’t matter who it is. After all, you’ll reach the same result. It’s similar to RPGs, racing games, or any other type of simulation game where you grow and train something or somebody. Like an idol simulation game in the case of Aramiya.

It might sound nasty to phrase it that way, but if the final state, the final goal, is the same, then it doesn’t matter who or what you’re using. Now that she mentioned it to me, it all makes sense. Turning someone into an individual most perfect in your eyes is messed up. It was all nonsense…And with that realization, I realized all the other failures…! I fell in love with Kasuga, who is trying her hardest to become my ideal type of girl, which also means that I might fall for Aramiya, who is trying to become my ideal type of loner.

At the same time, if I got along with someone other than Kasuga, it wouldn’t be fair to count Kasuga as the exception…This relationship had been a mess since the very beginning. My feelings were trying to deny it, but the logic had already set in.

“Sniff…hicc…sniff…!”

Kasuga is a very emotional girl. She opens her mouth before she thinks, and moves her body before she hesitates. That’s why, if I were to analyze her actions and guess what she’s trying to say…

‘She’s a bit worried because of the kiss, but if she does it 100x more than Aramiya, it doesn’t matter’ and ‘However, if Aramiya were to copy the relationship that Kasuga and I have right now, and if we stay as lovers from here on out, then I will probably start feeling that something is off’—or something like that. Haaa…I can only laugh at myself. So much self-hate filling me. How dumb could I be, how did I not realize. Such irony…

With Aramiya, I just helped with the ‘Break down the norm!’ kind of mindset, but forgot that I was practically changing her into my ideal type of girl. I acted like it was normal and self-explanatory. However, it most definitely is not. Rather, this relationship is messed up, especially under Japan’s standards. But, when it comes to Kasuga’s case, it most likely is a simple thing of ‘I’ll try to match his tastes, so I’ll turn into what they like!’, surely.

In other words, as a boy with a girlfriend, another girl was approaching me with the exact same method as I got my current girlfriend. At this rate, my feelings for Kasuga would break apart, and split. As for Kasuga, she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform.

“Sorry about this, Shizuki-kun? I’m going home now.”

“No, I should be sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it…Sniff…I just started crying in front of you, so you’re not at fault.”

No, that’s not it. I’m the one at fault. I made you cry.

“—You’re not at fault…It’s me…”

****

“I became your advisor.”

“Huh?” “Wueh!?” “Fueh!?” “………”

Hirahara-sensei’s declaration, starting with me, Aramiya, Chisaka-senpai, and Akizuki all left us shocked…Well actually, Akizuki wasn’t all that shocked, she simply stayed on her seat, reading. By the way, we all sat on random seats, excluding Kasuga, who had not showed up at the clubroom today. Well…we had that discussion yesterday. Naturally, it’d be awkward. Even I did, so I went to the clubroom where Aramiya and Hirahara-sensei gathered.

“Well, how do I say this, congratulations Aramiya. Just as planned, Miura-sensei quit as the club advisor.”

“Yup yup! As expected!”

“So, I know that it’s weird of me to ask that after helping with Aramiya, but can you really switch advisors that easily?”

“No, not really. Normally, there’s a lot of paperwork to take care of, as well as a proper reason to quit, but I guess Miura-sensei simply wanted someone younger to take care of the younger students…Which is why the job of the advisor was pushed onto me.”

“Ehhhh…” I wasn’t quite sure what to say.

Rather than the expression of having it pushed onto her, I was feeling more guilty that we pressed Miura-sensei beyond a certain limit like that. But, at the very least, like Ooba was to me, Miura-sensei wasn’t actually that bad of a person towards Aramiya. Good stuff, good stuff.

“So, Aramiya, I have a message from Miura-sensei.”

“Yep yep?”

“—Sorry that I was trying to steal your right to regret, he says.”

“? Shizupai said something similar before, but boys really love using complicated words. Remi doesn’t really get it!”

“That’s pretty bad, you know…” Hirahara-sensei gave Remi a dubious gaze.

“Basically, at the live concert, you said that this is the path you chose, and that you wanted to have regrets if you didn’t manage to achieve your dream, right? That’s what he’s agreeing with here, and is letting you choose your path, as well as possibly regret it.”

“That’s Shizupai for you, so clever!”

I guess this means congrats, huh? With Miura-sensei gone, this now is an environment where she can focus on her dream.

“By the way, Akisen, now that you’re our new advisor, are you against Remi’s dream of becoming an idol?”

“Not really? If you succeed, I can say that I raised you, and if you fail and crumble with some controversy to your name, or not even make it pro, I’ll act like I never knew about it, just like you wanted us to during the campfire.”

“Alright! From today on, Remi is free!”

“Can I ask a question as well?”

“Go ahead.”

“You are against anything that sounds like a bother, so for what reason did you become our advisor?”

“I don’t have to come visit that often, and I don’t have to be present during vacation or holidays. With these few people, and no special knowledge needed, I don’t have to fear any injuries or accidents. If they tell me to become the advisor of a club, I’ll definitely take this one.”

“Then, why is there even any need for an advisor for a club without any proper club activities?”

“If I was free the entire time, people would complain. And, there’s a chance I might have to jump in at another club if I have too much free time.”

“Being a part of this club, you have to attend three days a week, and lose your freedom there, but you can avoid any further trouble…Clever.”

There, Hirahara-sensei cleared her throat, looking at me and Aramiya.

“Kujou, Aramiya, can I say one thing as well?”

“………” “Grr…”

“I may be a lot more chill than Miura-sensei, and plan to keep the club the way it is right now, but a kiss like that is crossing the limit, you know? Even I have to warn you if you do that, although I don’t want to.”

“~~~! I-I won’t be kissing Aramiya anymore…”

“How cruel!”

“It clearly isn’t!? Also, you’re much more cruel, kissing me in front of Kasuga! Thanks to that, it’s been awkward between us ever since! Well, the kiss isn’t the only reason, but…”

“Also, why did you even go and kiss my secretary, Aramiya-san? Is it because…you know…you like him?”

…So Chisaka-senpai asked in my stead, huh! Of course, I don’t think I’m the type of person who deserves to be liked by others. However, when it comes to a kiss like that, then the only possibility I can see is that she has feelings for me. But, that should be impossible. A girl like Aramiya clearly would be more into someone like Ooba.

I’m a loner. I prioritize my own freedom, whereas Aramiya wants to sparkle as much as she can. Clearly, there’s no way she would fall for me. I don’t shine like she does. However, as for Aramiya’s answer…

“Well, Remi still doesn’t know about that, but she at least is interested in Shizupai~”

Bump! There, Akizuki suddenly dropped the book she was reading. Now hold on, I should be the one who’s shocked the most here.

“Ah, but, Shizupai, don’t get the wrong idea, okay?”

“Wrong idea?”

“Well…like and dislike, there’s not always 100 or 0, right? Remi might dislike you, but is interested. Or, she might like you, but it’s not love yet. Girls can be like that, yep.”

“Huh…Is that so…”

“Right now, Shizupai is a Senpai at the same club that Remi is a bit curious about, nothing more.”

“~~~!”

“Ah, Shizupai started blushing, lol. Even though you have Hinapai.”

“Who’s the person that kissed me right in front of Kasuga!? Also, even if……even if you’re curious about me, as long as you don’t have definite feelings, you shouldn’t just kiss me like that!”

“Ehhh, what’s it matter? It’s just a kiss! If it’s Shizupai, then Remi is totally fine, and no clue how Hinapai was taking it, but Remi saw this as a sort-of American-style kiss.”

“I really feel like Kasuga’s response is much more important than your intentions…”

“Also, judging from your talk, you generally forgive a friendly kiss……”

“Yup yup! There’s friends that Remi can kiss, and friends she can’t! Well, the only male friend she can kiss is Shizupai though.”

“That makes it sound like you can kiss a lot of your girl friends.”

“Well, Remi doesn’t mind kissing Hinapai, Harupai, or Sakupai.”

“Hey, the conversation is derailing quickly.” There, Hirahara-sensei threw in a comment. “We still haven’t asked why you kissed Kujou in that situation if you wanted to clear up the air, and we also don’t know how things have gone with Kasuga since then.”

“Ahh, yeah. What was that about?”

On the second day of the outdoor school, when the live concert heated up, Aramiya went to kiss me, which only created bigger chaos. No, maybe not that much. Aramiya read the text I wrote for her, and surely the audience must have been confused as to what she was talking about, but the impact of the kiss completely pushed the attention towards that. As all the intention was directed at me, that confusion might have been cleared up. I mean, in the end, the teachers had to cancel the campfire as a result of the ensuing chaos. Thankfully, Aramiya’s live event was the last.

“Hm? Remi simply wanted to enjoy her youth.”

“Youth?”

“Even Remi starts thinking more when it involves love!”

“So, basically?”

“Basically, the conversation between Remi, Shizupai, and Miura was probably confusing to people who didn’t know anything. But, as the climax, if Remi goes in for the kiss, everybody will realize that there’s a youthful romcom going on between Remi and Shizupai, or at least decide on that. And, that’s pretty much what happened.”

“Alright, I can follow the logic.”

“Yup yup!”

“But, I still can’t accept it. This romantic brain of yours is poisoning me.”

“Ehhh!?” Aramiya looked at me like she couldn’t believe what she just heard.

Leaving aside if everything worked out or not, it’s clear why Aramiya chose that method to clear up and resolve everything. That concludes the questioning session for Aramiya, which means that I’m next—

“So, how is it going for you, Secretary?”

“Talking about Kasuga, right…”

“Indeed.”

As I was explaining myself, Aramiya, Chisaka-senpai and Hirahara-sensei calmly listened. I bet Akizuki is listening as well. Ever since Aramiya started explaining the reason for her kiss, she hasn’t flipped over a single page. Of course, there’s a reason I decided to explain it. Basically, it’s the same as before. I might cause them trouble. Maybe not directly, but it could bring down the mood. Also, this is the second time this happened as well. Now that there’s a chance things might repeat themselves, I need to explain it to others in an attempt to clear my head about it. It’s also that I have the duty of doing so.

So, a few minutes later…

“Then, what is Remi supposed to do?”

“Aramiya…”

“Remi might become Hinapai’s rival in love, but she still thinks that maybe she took it a bit too far in this one.”

“No, you don’t have to do anything. It’ll only make matters worse.”

“Agreed.”

“Waeh!?”

“Same goes for Chisaka-senpai and Hirahara-sensei, you don’t have to do anything. If you suddenly act like Aramiya might, it would only make things worse…or rather, I just can’t bother you more with this.”

“Are you sure…?” Chisaka-senpai asked, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

“I’m telling you it’s fine.” I stood up, and moved towards the window—where Akizuki was reading her book.

“What is it, Kujou-kun?”

“You told me before, right?”

“……”

“That with this, I could always rely on you.”

“Yes, I sure said that.”

Now then, to get a bit more serious for once…I personally think that my true essence is between freedom and limitation. The first one is easy, as I love being free, and enjoy my time alone. However, in life, there are not many times where I can truly be free. As I’m the type of person who works for his freedom, I really think I should be granted more, but…

Reality often is reigned by various things. On a greater scale, it’s religion, the country and government, or race of people. If I were to give a more miniscule example, it’d be club activities, a LINE group, or vague things like the mood and atmosphere. That’s why, I have to live in this limited freedom with a lot of limitations, while protecting my freedom to the best of my ability.

With that in mind, I can’t ask Aramiya for help. Things might get worse if she’s involved, and this acts as my limiter. Same goes for Chisaka-senpai and Hirahara-sensei, I can’t bother them. However, when talking about Akizuki…she said that I could rely on her, so…

“Could you hear me out?”

“Yes, I don’t mind.”

****

“Akizuki…what time is it right now…?”

“Haaa…It’s 9.45pm.”

“So we’ve ordered the drink bar, and spent more than five hours here…?”

“Once it’s 10pm, we’re definitely out. We’re still wearing our uniforms after all…”

“If we run to the ticket gate at Sendai, we can make it in five minutes, so stay here a bit longer…”

“It is quite shocking. I’ve talked about the amount of five days worth, and we still didn’t come up with an answer…”

“It can’t be helped, after all…”

“Indeed, in the end…”

Both Akizuki and I let out a long sigh, and—

““We’re kindred spirits, so we have a similar mindset, and can only come up with the same answers.””

It was an absolute blunder. Thanks to Akizuki’s previous advance, I managed to resolve the problem last time. However, that’s because I had developed feelings that went beyond loner and normie. It counted as common ground between me and Kasuga. At the same time, all these feelings from before don’t matter much. It’s more of a fact about…well…prioritization between Kasuga and Aramiya. Just as Kasuga said, if the final goal is the same, then the starting point doesn’t really matter.

Basically, there’s no guarantee that my lover would be Kasuga Hina. Haaa…as expected, a loner like me wouldn’t be able to understand the values of a normie, and at the same time, a normie wouldn’t understand the problems of a loner.

“Let’s organize the situation one more time. First, what problem does Kasuga-san have?”

“She said ‘~~~! If you’re going to shape a girl the way you like it, and if you have two or more girls…then it doesn’t have to be me, right…’ exactly like that.”

“In other words, she wanted originality and extra focus on herself on top of being your girlfriend, right?”

“From what I understood, there’s also the part that since I fell in love with Kasuga who is trying her hardest to become my ideal girl, there’s a chance that I might develop feelings for Aramiya as well. Also, if I get along with another girl besides Kasuga, then I can’t see her as an exception anymore.”

“Basically, Kasuga-san wants to become an exception and a special existence to you, yes?”

Originality and exception. Luckily, these feelings not only existed within a normie like Kasuga, but even inside of a loner like me, and probably Akizuki as well. Humans have their identity and raison d’être. Basically, everybody wants to be special and original. But, this is weird. There’s many ways of achieving that, so why…

“There’s something I don’t understand.”

“Yes?”

“I can come up with various answers, but I doubt Kasuga will accept them.”

“Why is that? If Kasuga-san wants to be your only one, then you should simply do something that you would only do for her. Stalking, peeping, abducting, that kind of stuff.”

“Your ideas are terrifying me, but that’s about it, yeah.”

“However, Kasuga-san would most likely reject that.”

“It’s weird. The options are right in front of me, so why can’t I choose them…”

Then, next!

“Let’s go with the same method as before. Find a common ground between loner and normie…” I explained.

“Something else besides feeling love for someone? Hmmm…Maybe your desire to make up after having gotten in a fight?”

“That is true, but if you want to make up with someone, you have to find the reason for the misunderstanding through communication, and come up with methods to resolve it peacefully, right?”

“Indeed. A simple ‘Let’s make up!’ ‘Okay!’ only works in grade school. If you want to make up, you need to offer and receive merit, as well as come up with a strategy so that the same thing never happens again.”

“Maybe normies don’t really think about that stuff when making up? That everything would be over with a simple ‘My bad’ and ‘Okay, it’s fine’.”

“Eh? I don’t think it’s that easy though?”

“Right…”

Even if it’s a normie, they have to figure out a meaning hidden in their conversations. Even if you apologize and make up, you have to come up with ways to not repeat the same mistake again, and improve. It’s the logical thought process after all. It’s the natural flow of events. That’s how things are supposed to be. Even a normie would be able to figure that out.

“Maybe the feelings of not wanting the person you love to be stolen by somebody else?” Akizuki argued.

“That I can understand as well. But, if you don’t want the other person to be stolen, then you should work against that, and block off the person trying to steal it. Kasuga isn’t doing anything against Aramiya, you know? Of course, neither am I.”

“Don’t tell me…Is Kasuga-san that much of a normie that even when someone is trying to steal you from her, she’s trying to be considerate and read the mood?”

“That’s impossible…the reason loners can’t execute certain actions is because they lack courage and strength, but there’s no way they would just ignore any of that. Normies wouldn’t treasure the community that badly, right?”

“R-Right…”

“But if that is the case, then I can’t see why Kasuga wouldn’t do anything against Aramiya…”

“Maybe because she’s kind? They may be rivals in love, but they are also friends, so she wants to avoid fighting?”

“Using the word fight sure is ominous. In this case, and not only limited to Kasuga, if you use arguments and discussion, let alone normies, even loners wouldn’t suffer this much with human relationships…”

“Maybe normies just don’t understand the difference between badmouthing and criticism?”

“Big bet on that, but…not good, we’re getting off-topic.”

There, it happened.

“Kujou-kun.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Time’s up. Five minutes have passed.”

“Hey, Akizuki…”

“What is it?”

“Are we talking about all of this because nobody is here to retort on it?”

“At the very least, we were going through a complicated but also messed up thought process.”

In the end, with just me and Akizuki, we couldn’t come up with an answer to satisfy Kasuga. As for why, it’s because we may be able to calculate human relationships, but not feelings. Even if we try to find a logical conclusion, as long as Kasuga’s feelings are a part of it, we will never be able to say ‘This is it!’. Akizuki’s example of locking her up might be extreme, but to put it into our terms: First, Kasuga wants to be my girlfriend. Second, she wants to be treated differently, and has to become an exception, a special existence for Kujou Shizuki. Third, as of this moment, before my faux loner with Aramiya started, I made Kusaga reach a high level of being a loner. If I keep these rules in mind, and abide by them, I should be able to find my answer, but…

“Haaaa…If we had someone who’d play the straight man here, maybe we could have made it through this situation much more smoothly? Someone who’d be a good reference even…”

“…That’s it, Kujou-kun!”

“Huh? What?”

There, Akizuki seemed oddly excited, pushing her body forward over the table. No clue what she’s so happy about, but I think that’s the first time I saw her smile. I bet nobody else saw that smile before.

“We just have to let a normie join in on this and give us advice.”

“Ahh! No, but…are you really sure about that?”

“Because involving Aramiya-san would only make things worse, and because you don’t want to bother Chisaka-san and Hirahara-sensei?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“No, that’s wrong. Think about it, there’s one more person.”

“Eh…?”

“It’s someone you can talk to, and someone who has been involved in this ongoing misunderstanding. At the same time, they should be able to figure out just what Kasuga-san is hoping for.”

****

“Thank god…I didn’t manage to find an answer, but at least I assisted in providing someone who can find the answer…I helped Kujou-kun again…”

****

Just as Akizuki suggested, I called that normie to the classroom after classes ended. By the way, not the classroom we used for our club, but the one belonging to my class. Since today is a Wednesday, they should all be gathered there. Of course, I at first thought that Akizuki was asking me to call over Ooba. However, that wasn’t it. He may know about me and Kasuga, but he doesn’t know anything about the current misunderstanding. So, who is the person I called over then?

“Sorry, Shizuki-kun. I didn’t come to the clubroom yesterday…”

“…No, it’s fine. Aramiya was there anyway…”

Naturally, this is the obvious conclusion. It’s like playing baseball, and you already have a runner on the base. It’s like you get a penalty kick in soccer. The answer was right there. This is a misunderstanding between me and Kasuga. In other words, it only involves Kasuga Hina and me of course.

“Well…you don’t know what to say to Aramiya after all…”

“…Yeah, because in the end, what I am to you is the same as what Remi-chan is, and it leaves me restless…”

“………”

“I guess…I didn’t want Remi-chan to copy that special relationship we both have…”

Even though I’m her boyfriend, I don’t understand Kasuga’s feelings at all. As expected, you could say. Understanding, sympathy, it’s natural to beautify and praise these ideas, but I personally don’t think they exist. Even if you live the same life, walk the same path, have the exact same set of values, there’s no two people who think the exact same way.

Let’s say for the sake of the argument that you meet with this person, and come to a mutual agreement. Would you think of that as something wonderful? If there was someone…No, a monster who could see through you in every moment, it’d just be gross. Even those who appreciate understanding and sympathy would definitely feel uncomfortable. That’s why a lot of people fear the existence of a Doppelganger.

Leaving aside the fact of the outer appearance, if some monster appeared that had an identical identity and raison d’être, you’d probably run. I sure as hell would. And then I’d hide somewhere where I would never run into them again. I really don’t know why normies are so keen on understanding and sympathy…Basically, lovers are like kindred spirits, or so they say. However, understanding each other is impossible, and quite frankly grotesque.

It makes me want to puke, it gives me the shivers, I feel dizzy, and I don’t even want to think about it. In that sense, and I know that it might sound irresponsible, but I don’t know Kasuga Hina. Since I know that it’ll just end in failure, I don’t want to learn about her from the very start. But even so…

“Kasuga, hear me out. I don’t understand you. We managed to make up during Golden Week, but this time around, I can’t follow at all. Or rather than that, it’s simply impossible for me.”

“So, you want me to tell you until you understand?”

“No, that’s off the board, and far too extreme. By the way, you right now assume that you understand me, and probably confirmed that as well, but I personally won’t ever understand another person, no matter how long it may take me, and I won’t even waste any of my free time or energy for that.”

“……” Kasuga looked close to breaking out in tears.

Well, I don’t understand a single thing about Kasuga, but my willingness is also pretty low. That being said, as a normie, being with everyone, treasuring everyone without any differences is best, and anything sad is just heresy, is probably Kasuga’s train of thought. She’s a nice person, so she prefers equality, and thinks of imperial kindness as something normal. That is the stereotype you’d have of a normie. It is the commonly accepted and fixed idea of a good person.

Of course, this is just my assumption, so I might be wrong as well. Or rather, there’s a good chance I might be way off here. And, since I’m a loner, I don’t presume something like that. I don’t have any expectations from others. However, I also don’t want to break up with Kasuga either. That’s why I’ll show her. It might be heresy, something nobody could come up with, but the thought process of a loner is the best.

“But, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing for you, Kasuga.”

“I-In what way…?”

Finally, Kasuga started crying for real. Did she think I was making fun of her, saying that it wasn’t too bad if she doesn’t understand? If so, then that would be far too much of a normie move.

“Sniff…Hicc…My boyfriend thinks that learning about me is a waste of time, you know? The boy I like wouldn’t bother getting to know me, and is proudly declaring that…Sniff…I won’t be selfish to ask for everything…I also won’t ask for you to understanding…But…sniff…hicc…Shizuki-kun, this is a bit cruel…”

“Really?”

“Is this…is this the thought process of a loner?”

“Yeah, exactly. It’s twisted, messed up, annoying, melancholic, and perfectly representative of a loner. But…”

My thought process continued. I’m not trying to say this in order to hurt Kasuga. I do feel guilty, but this is a necessary process to convey my logic, and so that Kasuga and I could continue dating.That’s why I have to continue to adhere to my loner logic. Even if the girl I like is crying in front of me, I won’t stop my style of denying what other people believe in.

“But…you don’t want Aramiya to do the same thing as you are, right? That’s why you feel jealous towards her.”

“Yeah…”

“You’re basically denying the Law of Identity, right?”

“…Shizuki-kun, you’re even using complicated terms during a situation like this…”

“And when it comes to me and you, we are basically polar opposites, right?”

“…Ah.” Kasuga seemed to have caught on to something.

Even I figured out something like that. I denied the Law of Identity, and affirmed our differences. In other words…

“I don’t want to be understood or receive sympathy. I simply feel uncomfortable with that. Kasuga might try to understand me, but we’re polar opposites, so that won’t be granted. That’s…”

I was a bit scared, but I still looked Kasuga in the eyes. She already stopped crying, but the tears remaining in the corners of her eyes shone like small rainbows.

“—To me, what makes me happy the most.”

It’s the expected result. Since I’m saying that I deny understanding and sympathy, whatever Kasuga may dislike about that makes me the happiest. If I had to guess, I may have been feeling that way for a time now, which is why I ended up developing feelings for Kasuga, even though I had trouble dealing with her. It’s not something I can properly pin down, but I should remember it at least.

“Being polar opposites is, at least from how I see it, an absolute condition for being lovers.”

“So…it would be better if I don’t try to become a loner…?”

“No, you should continue the way you are right now.”

“Eh? Aren’t you contradicting yourself? Being polar opposites is supposed to be part of being lovers, right? And yet, you want us to be the same…”

“Listen, the way you were trying your hardest to become my ideal type of girl…Perfectly honest, that’s why I fell for you…”

“Y-Yeah…” Kasuga blushed ever so slightly.

“However, people don’t change that easily. If I had to guess, it’ll probably take you a lifetime and longer, and you still won’t be able to become a loner.”

“……”

“So, that sight of you working hard…I get to watch it forever, right? So basically…”

“I can keep making Shizuki-kun fall for me?”

“~~~!”

So embarrassing…It feels like my body is burning up…I mean, I have to nod, but it’s taking everything out of me.

“Um, Shizuki-kun?”

“Yeah.”

“What you’re basically saying can be summarized with ‘To each their own’, right?”

“……Eh?”

“Fufu, as expected, you need to be annoying to the bitter end, Shizuki-kun.”

Finally, Kasuga showed me a smile. As expected, Kasuga really is a normie. All I tried to say just now, she managed to put it into a few words.

“So, about Aramiya…”

“Yeah.”

“I told you the day before yesterday, right? If I’m going to make you turn into my ideal type of girl, and if there’s two girls from the very start, then it doesn’t have to be you. And, from what I guessed, you were trying to say that since I fell in love with Kasuga who was trying to turn into my ideal girl, then there’s a chance that I might also develop feelings for Aramiya. Also, I won’t be able to make you an exception anymore, right?”

“Yeah…and, that still hasn’t changed, right?” She faintly smiled, but her expression clearly was lacking her usual energy.

“Kasuga, that entire talk just now was the preamble to my proposition.”

“Proposition?”

“Yesterday, I talked with Akizuki about what to do, but we could never come up with any answer.”

“Yeah…”

“So, I also don’t understand you either. That’s why I found several answers I found plausible, but which probably wouldn’t convince you. And even until today, that still hasn’t changed.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s why, I want you to come up with the answer.”

“Eh?! Me!?”

“I thought about it. The only person who can come up with an answer that can satisfy you, it can only be you. And…”

“And?”

“Since I basically am not doing anything, I promise right here that I will definitely listen to whatever answer you come up with!”

“Even if it’s a kiss?”

“Urk…if it can really resolve everything…”

“Lewd stuff that goes beyond kissing?”

“~~~! It’ll probably make me want to kill myself because of how embarrassed I’d be, but if the problem can be resolved…”

There, Kasuga looked like she was thinking about something. She put her white and slender index finger on her lips, and raised her face. I was serious when I said that I’d listen to whatever idea she came up with. Ever since we admitted that the feelings of liking someone were the same to both loner and normie, I decided that I wouldn’t want to break up with her. Even a loner would be sad to get rejected by the person they like. Even a loner would want to be with the person they like. Of course, the same goes for the normie Kasuga…

“Shizuki-kun.”

“Did you decide?”

“—I will become a girl who surpasses your ideals.”

Huh? A girl who surpasses my ideals? What’s up with that? Words alone don’t really help in comprehending what she’s talking about.

“First of all, I’ll still work to become your ideal girl. But, that still doesn’t mean that it necessarily has to be me. That’s why I want to become someone who surpasses your ideals.”

“W-What’s this about?” I asked.

In response to that, Kasuga finally showed me a smile again, and spoke up with an adorable, angelic voice.

“…Basically, I’m not your ideal type of girl, but the type you’ll fall in love with even more than if she was your ideal.”

“I-I see…”

“As a sort-of image, first it’s the current me and Remi-chan, followed by the two of us who have become your ideal type of girl, and then it’ll be me and Remi-chan who surpassed your ideal. So, becoming your ideal type of girl is to end up almost identical. But, once we reach that, I’ll try my best to surpass your ideals, and Remi-chan will do the same in her own way. Then…”

“…And then I’ll have to choose you?”

“Yup. And if I work hard like that, you’ll continue to fall in love with me even more.”

There, Kasuga approached me, and…Ah? Eh? Wha!

“Ei!”

“Don’t cling to me like that…it’s hot…and we’re in a classroom. What if somebody sees us?”

“I can brag as much as I want!”

Ehhh…That sounds like a pain…But, if she does this to me now, I can’t help become conscious of her…She often does this, but we just made up, so…

“Kasuga.” I felt anxious, calling out the name of my girlfriend.

“Yep?” Kasuga showed me the greatest smile ever.

“Will you really try to become a girl that surpasses my ideal type?”

It may sound simple, but executing it would prove very difficult. However, if it was that easy, then the idea of perfect and ideal would be meaningless. Reaching an ideal is practically the last step. And now, Kasuga wants to overcome even that. Even though only darkness should be past the final stop, and even though she should know that…She showed no hesitation whatsoever, simply flashing me an innocent, bright smile with an unwavering gaze.

“Of course!” She responded instantly.

“As I said just now, humans can’t change that easily.”

“Yup.” Kasuga nodded.

“I really doubt you can become a girl that surpasses my ideals, and I’m already uncertain if you can even become my ideal type of girl.”

“Yup.” Kasuga once again nodded without hesitation.

“Can you really continue to work hard like that?”

I wanted to confirm that with Kasuga one last time. However, her answer had already been decided.

“Of course! After all, that’s what made you fall in love with me!”

What am I even supposed to respond with here? However, her eyes, her smile, her response, it was all so pure, I was simply entranced. Reaching the point where I was lost in time.

“I see. Thanks.”

“Yup. Shizuki-kun.”

“What’s up?”

“I love you~ Kasuga Hina deeply loves Kujou Shizuki-kun~”

“~~~!”

“What about you?”

“……No comment.”

“Ehehe~ Coming from Shizuki-kun, that’s the best possible praise to get, right?”

****

“Okay! Hello hello!” The door swung open with a bang.

“………!” “Ehh!?”

“Alright, that’s the ending of staying in your own world!”

“……Although I have my own share of things to say, but I really am at my limit with just watching…”

Aramiya and Remi stormed into the room, followed by a calm Akizuki directly after them. They were clearly peeking at us, right…Gaaah, so embarrassing! I managed to convey my thoughts to Kasuga, and she clung to me at the end! And yet, it feels like I was watched by some children in public! I can’t, I wanna run away right now!

“Shizupai, Shizupai.”

“What do you want…I just want to go home, snuggle up into my blanket, and forget about all of this…I can’t believe you were peeking like that…”

Normies love doing that, huh. Not to mention that they’re interested in other people’s love affairs. Making me feel all messed up…

“That’s well, Sakupai commented that you two aren’t coming to the clubroom at all and all. So, she said that we might as well look for you, tehe~”

“Hey, can you not push the responsibility to other people?”

You’re kidding, right…I thought Aramiya was the perpetrator, but to think it turned out to be Akizuki…

“Leaving that aside, Shizupai, Remi will aim to surpass your ideals after all. Naturally, so that she’ll become even more popular!”

“Huh!? Copying Kasuga again!? Even though you don’t have the same intention…”

“No no no, your ideal girl might be one image, but there’s many different ways where a girl can surpass those ideals, you know? If so, Hinapai will do it her way, and Remi will do it her way, right.”

“I see, so the girls are different after surpassing the secretary’s ideals, which means that you don’t know which type you will fall in love with, yes!”

Listen, why do they keep pushing everything forward without asking for my consent? And why does it always happen? It was the same with the Ooba group and the whole tent thing. So, once again ignoring me, Kasuga and Aramiya looked at each other.

“Oh yeah, Remi-chan still hasn’t apologized to me I feel like~?”

“Hmmm? So, Remi should say ‘Sorry for stealing Shizupai’, ehh?”

“Hmpf, Shizuki-kun is my boyfriend, so you should say ‘I’m sorry for trying to break between the two of you and failing. Apologies for causing a ruckus!’ instead.”

“Shizupai doesn’t belong to Hinapai, though? He belongs to everyone from the club!”

“Remi-chan, you said that you’re only interested in him, right!? Yet, you’re treating him like that while he has a girlfriend!”

“No no no, you’ve enjoyed Hinapai plenty so far, right? Why not give him to Remi for a while?” Aramiya said, and clung to my left arm…

Ah, her chest is hitting me! She’s provoking Kasuga and me at the same time!

“Naive, Remi-chan! I can never get enough of Shizuki-kun! My turn is far from over!”

There, Kasuga clung to my right arm.

“Shizuki-kun!” “Shizupai!”

“What…can’t I just go home…”

“Which do you like more, Shizuki-kun?”

“Definitely is Remi, right~”

Things have gotten noisy once again, but at the very least, the misunderstanding and complication that resulted from the outdoor school had been resolved. However, I didn’t expect that Aramiya would show me positive affection, even if that hasn’t reached feelings of love…yet.

“Shizuki-kun!”

“W-What’s wrong?”

“This time, Remi-chan stole a kiss from you, right.”

“Right…”

“That’s why I’m going to get that back during the culture festival!”

“The culture festival? Ah…”

I remember…Before the outdoor school, Kasuga and I were on the phone, and she told me about the legend of the campfire, as well as the legend that if a girl wins the Miss-con during the culture festival, her confession would succeed 100%. In 90% of the cases, a miss-con is an event for normies! Basically…

“Huh? Hinapai, you plan on winning against Remi during the miss-con?”

“Come on, Remi-chan. The reason I want to win is so that my confession towards Shizuki-kun succeeds.”

“But, Hinapai, your confession already worked out, right?”

“Not just ‘Please go out with me’, but rather ‘Please marry me’!”

“…Shizupai!”

“Hmpf, Shizuki-kun!”

I couldn’t run away…They’re both holding onto my arms…

““Once one of us wins the miss-con and confess, you’ll definitely give us an answer, right!?””