CH 2

Kasuga Hina Won’t Give Up.

I was having a bit of an awful conscience about this, sure, but at the same time, I thought to myself. An afterschool date? Don’t mind that much, but in all probability, it’ll just end in absolute awkwardness. Reason is simple. I actually have communication disorder, and not just the type you’d brag about online. I’m absolutely awful when it comes to talking and interacting with others. I wouldn’t purposefully make this date end up in failure. Even a loner like me knows that I can’t do that.

That being said, if I act like I always do, be the normal Kujou Shizuki, then I can already see things getting awkward with this upcoming date. I’m being perfectly rational. Since this is a date for us to get to know each other on a more personal level, I should act like I always do, and not put on a fake mask. If I make that my premise however, I know things will end up awkward. Basically, even without acting in a fake manner, Kasuga will surely be disillusioned when she sees how I really am. I will end up losing a few hours of time, but, well, rather than her constantly approaching me in the future, tagging along this once is probably better in the long run.

These were my thoughts as I was riding the underground train with Kasuga Hina next to me. Also, I really wish she wouldn’t grab the shirttail of my uniform like that, it made my heart skip a beat, seriously.

****

S-So, about ten minutes passed…Right now, Kasuga Hina and I were holding the afterschool date at a Parco department store building at Sendai train station, precisely at a Sweets Paradise, or SweePara for short. SweePara…I only heard its name before, not knowing where it even was located, but to think I’d find out in a situation like this…I mean, since I have no friends I could go with, and didn’t want to embarrass myself by coming here alone, I was doing just fine not knowing where it was…

“Two orders for Kasuga~”

“Ah, they’re calling for us, Shizuki-kun!”

We stood up from the seats outside the store, and while Kasuga pulled on my hand, she guided me inside……Are you serious? I’m holding hands with the number one beauty of my school. Normally, I’d probably be much more shocked, but my emotions just can’t keep up with all of this sudden development.

“Hey, Shizuki-kun, this is your first time coming to SweePara, right?”

“Hm? Y-Yeah, what about it?”

“SweePara basically has a buffet system, and I chose a specific course to see how it is, and wanted to buy the tickets for it, but…”

“Oho.”

“So…I went with this ‘Lovey-dovey Sweety-sweet Couple Course’ here!”

“—What?”

Kasuga showed a blooming smile like it came from the bottom of her heart, but…

“Well, I need to show the employee a photo of us in which we look like a couple, they said.”

No no no no! Not happening, me no likey! A photo that makes us look like a couple? So, it’d be a photo that would be awfully embarrassing to show to others, right!? Why would we have to show that to others!?

“…We can’t?”

“I mean…Ehhh…”

“Also, I actually bought the tickets for that course already, so we definitely have to take that photo now.”

“Eh…And, what about refunding the ticket?”

“Doesn’t work, I think~”

Cute. The way she seemed happy about getting to take a couple’s photo with me made her seem a bit younger and adorable than her actual age…But at the same time, it almost made me understand the feelings of all the boys who previously confessed to her a bit. That’s how cute it was. I guess it was a feminine and girly gesture? That being said, just because she’s cute doesn’t mean everything is suddenly solved…If anything, being won over by cuteness alone leaves a bad aftertaste.

“Then, let’s link our arms together!” She said, and immediately interlinked her arm with mine, but…Her chest! It’s hitting me!

Even through her blazer, I felt softness, warmth, and everything nice, but more than anything, isn’t she embarrassed about this!? You’re pressing our own chest onto a boy!

“Ehehehe…”

“W-What’s wrong?”

“I mean, I was just happy that I get to link arms with the Shizuki-kun I loooove so much.” She grinned with a cute expression that could make everybody fall in love with her.

At the same time, she took out her smartphone…

“Shizuki-kun.”

“W-What is it now?”

“I want to send you that picture later, so…could you maybe tell me your LINE ID?” She looked up at me, uncertain, but…

If someone told me yesterday that a girl, let alone such a beauty like her, would ask for my LINE ID, I would have definitely laughed at them.

“Do you…not want to?”

“No, well, I’m a bit surprised, sure, but that’s definitely better than clinging to me like that, and linking arms, so it’s fine.”

“Yay!”

But before that, we first showed the employee the picture, and thus were guided to our seats inside. Then, I took out my own smartphone, and we exchanged LINE IDs. Still…what is with the atmosphere of this place? The white walls were decorated with pink, yellow, and even blue flower patterns, the buffer mainly consisted of cookies or cake, and most important of all…90% of all customers except me are actually women! Not to mention that they’re all looking super fashionable, like they picked trendy clothes on purpose! Besides that, they were actually not even eating much, just having their oddly decorated smartphones in hand, saying stuff like ‘Should we put this on Insta?’ ‘Definitely!’ and so on.

“Yup, perfect! With this, I can always listen to your voice, Shizuki-kun!”

“——”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, this is the first time somebody ever said that to me, so I just didn’t know what to say.”

“Ahhh~ Communication disorder. How cute.”

Oh my lord, a girl just called me cute. Not to mention that it was because of my inability to hold a proper conversation.

“So, how is this…Lovey-dovey sweety-sweet couple course…different from the normal one?”

“That’s…” Right as Kasuga wanted to give me a response…

“Sorry for the wait, this is your lovey-dovey sweety-sweet couple course strawberry au lait.”

The employee brought us a large glass with strawberry au lait, but…What? Why are there two straws basically intertwined with the other…?

“Eh? Wha? Are we…supposed to drink this together?”

“Yup…!” Kasuga smiled happily, and bashfully all the same.

Even an angel would fall in love with that smile. Gah…! No no no no no! Not happening, impossible, not good, not good! This is even more embarrassing than taking a picture with her together! No, this is crossing the level of being embarrassing, and reaching public shaming level!

“Ah, just to let you know, but…”

“W-What is it now…?”

“If we don’t drink this strawberry au lait together, they’ll raise the price.”

“Wha? N-No…you won’t deceive me! That has to be a joke, right?”

“Eh? This is your first time coming to SweePara, right?”

“W-What about it?”

“There’s no way you would know more about it than me, right?”

“That’s…well…You might be right…?”

“Alright, it’s decided! Then, let’s be lovey-dovey a lot, okay?”

And with that, it was decided that Kasuga and I would be drinking this strawberry au lait.

“——”

So embarrassing!! Kasuga’s face is like 10cm away from mine!? Her eyes are so big! Her eyelashes…so long! Her skin…so white! Not to mention that she smells really nice! Just when I thought Kasuga was used to this, I could see her cheeks reddened, giving me the gaze of a maiden in love.

“Shizuki-kun.” Kasuga moved her lips away from the straw.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ahaha, I was just thinking that this is pretty embarrassing after all. I thought it’d be an easy victory, but this being my first time doing this with Shizuki-kun, it just made my head feel hot.”

“Then why did you order this in the first place…”

“Ehhh, I mean…it’s embarrassing, but I wanted to flirt some more with Shizuki-kun.”

“………”

“Ehehe, I love you lots, Shizuki-kun.”

In the end, I had to drink every last drop of the strawberry au lait together with Kasuga. Also, the heck is even this? Raising the price if we don’t drink this together? If not for that rule, I definitely wouldn’t have agreed to this…

“Should we eat some cake next?”

****

After that, I got basically dragged along at Kasuga’s pace, sometimes telling her about myself, sometimes hearing about her, as she fed me some cake, only to hear ‘You won’t even do it for me, Shizuki-kun?’ when I protested against feeding her, but eventually ended up defeated, doing something a loner like me would never even dream of…I need to repent…clean myself of these sins…Also, didn’t we basically share an indirect kiss!?

“Thanks a lot for today, Shizuki-kun.”

“Ah, well, you know, same here.”

At Sendai train station, Kasuga and I finished paying for the tickets, and stood next to the ticket machine. I had to take the Senzan Line, whereas Kasuga needed to go home with the Senseki Line.

“So, Shizuki-kun, I have a bit of a request at the very end now…”

“A request?”

“…ss…”

“Hm? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

“—I want to…kiss you…”

…………

…………Huh? Kiss? No, I mean, I know the word. I looked around, confirming that we indeed stood in the center of Sendai station. This station alone has at least 80,000 to 100,000 passengers every single day, and it’s currently rush hour as well.

“…Are you serious?”

“…Yeah….!”

Come on, can you not start blushing like a maiden in love? Even if you show me such a cute nod, I won’t know how to respond. I wasn’t asking if you were serious about doing it, but if you were sane about wanting to do it. Please, think about this rationally! There’s no way I would actually be able to kiss you in such a large crowd! I’m not in the wrong here, am I!?

“Listen, if we’re going to try out being lovers, a farewell kiss…should be doable…I thought.”

“No, um…I-I get where you’re coming from, but…”

“Also, I just love Shizuki-kun so much, I can’t wait any longer…!”

Wait, why is she suddenly hugging me like this!? The people around us are staring at me! I thought we’d just give a chill bye bye and see each other at school, but is she actually serious about the kiss!?

“W-Wait…Um, you know…”

“Sorry, I just…can’t hold back anymore…”

“No, hold on, what!?”

“I like you…I really…love you.” Kasuga brought her face closer to mine, closing her eyes… “…Nn.”

—She actually kissed me. In the middle of the train station! One, two, three, four, five seconds passed. Finally, Kasuga moved her lips away from mine, but…Gaaaaaah, so embarrassing! Students, salarymen, even the employees here, they’re all looking at us! This is far too awkward! It’s like my body is turning into the sun itself! At the same time, Kasuga just…

“Ehehehe, I did it. That was my first kiss, you know?” She said it like she was in heaven, but…

Okay, I think I reached my limit with that. I can’t hold it back anymore. Well, not like I was planning to in the first place.

“Kasuga.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Let’s break up.”

****

A few minutes later, at a public park a fair distance away from Sendai Station…

“…M-Maybe I was just…a bother as your girlfriend?” Kasuga was crying, and despite that still tried to forcefully form an adorable smile.

However, that smile looked close to breaking apart any second now, and it felt like Kasuga would disappear as well…And in the face of that, I—

“No no no! This totally looks like I was the one who hurt you, but I’m the victim here, remember!?”

“Urk…Sniff…Sniff…Uuuu…S-Sorry…I’m just troubling you because I keep crying like this, right…”

“Ehhh…”

Why did things have to end up this way? Right after I said that we should break up, Kasuga suddenly broke out in tears, and became unable to stop crying, which had her seemingly confused. However, since we already passed through the ticket gate at the train station, I had to deal with the awful shame of bringing a crying girl with me, and we rode the Sendai Line. After one stop, we immediately got off at the Tsutsujigaoka Station, and I took the girl with me to a nearby park, which brings us to the present.

For the first time in my life, I felt human gazes sharper and more painful than a knife. Imagine a crying girl together with a boy who clearly seemed bothered by the whole situation. Naturally we’d stand out, and not in a positive way. I was so embarrassed my body burnt up, and I was worried that I might just melt away.

“Stopped crying, Kasuga?”

“Sniff…Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m okay now.” Kasuga showed a gentle smile, so I decided to not hold back anymore.

“…Then let me ask you. Why did you kiss me?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“Huh?”

“I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

“Doing something like that because you couldn’t hold back anymore just makes you a monkey!”

“Ehhh!?”

“Let me change the question. Why did you think you could kiss me? Did you think I was fine with it?”

“N-No…Well? If I could make up an excuse, then…Normally I would have been dejected about not being able to kiss you, not being allowed to, but…Right now, I couldn’t even think about that…I just wanted to kiss Shizuki-kun as quickly as possible…” Kasuga put her hands together, awkwardly fidgeting with her fingers.

It seems like that, when it comes to kissing someone, contrary to a normal person and their thought process of ‘Maybe I can kiss them right now?’, and yet Kasuga failed to reach that!

“Well, thinking back on it, I guess I’m partially to blame as well, giving you chances to impose on me.”

“What do you mean, impose on you?”

“Basically, I was always the one being pushed against the wall because of you, Aramiya, and Chisaka-senpai. I ended up joining the club on a whim, and although I was somewhat against it, we still became lovers-in-testing, even going out like this, feeding each other. I was doing so many things I normally never would.”

“Y-Yup.”

“However, that’s my fault because I never clearly stated my own opinion and desires, so I can’t blame you for that. That being said!”

“That being said?”

“Embracing me at the largest train station in this region, not to mention during rush hour, and kissing me for a full five seconds is something I can’t forgive!”

“………”

“I may be a loner, but don’t think I will hold back anymore, Kasuga!”

“Urk…”

“I know that it’s horrible of me to say this two hours after somewhat accepting your confession, but I really can’t go out with you right now, Kasuga!”

“Sniff…Hicc…”

“Of course, there’s bound to be boys out there who would be happy about this! I admit that. However, not everybody is! At the very least, I was embarrassed to the point I really wish we didn’t even know each other!”

“Urk…Sniff…”

“Today, you were the one kissing me, and I was on the receiving end, but what if our genders were reversed!? I probably would have been ridiculed, or even arrested in the worst case!”

“Y-Yeah…that might be true…”

“That being the case.”

“?”

“Let’s break up.” I calmly declared, to which a gloomy atmosphere built up around Kasuga.

It seems like she has fully lost the strength to smile now. Even though I clearly wasn’t the guy in the wrong, a severe sense of guilt built up inside of me when I saw her expression.

“Kasuga.”

“What…is it?” Even her voice is shaking.

“Crying is…not fair.”

“Yeah…I’m sorry.”

Or so I said, but even if that kiss just now was still awful, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die, breaking up with her a solid two hours after accepting her confession still made me feel bad for her. What to do about this…

“…Hey, Kasuga, there’s something I’d like to explain to you for the future.”

“Sniff…W-What…?”

“Do you know the words normie and loner?”

“…Yeah, a friend of mine used that.”

“Put simply, Kasuga is a normie, and I’m a loner.”

“…Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize! I know that I’m a loner! So, the problem isn’t that I’m a loner, but rather that you’re a normie, Kasuga!”

“You’re blaming me for being that!?”

“I sure am! If anything, even a crazy normie wouldn’t kiss someone at a train station like that! Not to mention while clinging to me! Your attitude crossed the level of being outgoing and open, and you’ve become American! You’re a party-goer!”

“T-Then…!” Kasuga used the sleeve of her blazer to wipe away her tears.

“Then?”

“In the clubroom, I told you, right? That I want to become your wife. So…I can’t give up after a mere two hours of dating you, Shizuki-kun!”

“Oh?”

“That’s why…please make me into your ideal girl!”

“Huh? Ideal girl?”

Wanting to be my girlfriend, or wanting to become my wife…those are already bombshells of statements, and she apparently still isn’t done…She’s probably working on some weird logic that making her, a normie, my girlfriend would bring problems and complaints, but if she was my ideal girl, then there would be no problems whatsoever.

“For example, if I acted like a normie, and did something that embarrassed you, I want you to correct me, and tell me what to do next time. Training? Education? Guidance? Animal training…no that’s a bit different.”

“Not just a bit! It’s completely different! Don’t use those words!”

“But…”

“What?”

“You might just be thinking ‘What the hell is she on about’, but I’m serious, you know? I’m prepared to go that far.”

“…Ugh.”

“My feelings for you are real. My wish to marry you is an important part of me.”

“………”

“So please, make me your ideal girl.” Kasuga looked at me, a serious motivation burning in her eyes.

What am I even supposed to do about this? Let alone finding a way to refute this…I completely lost view on what even the whole problem was. Let me reorganize my thoughts. Me dating Kasuga will probably correlate to a lot of problems. The main cause of these problems is that Kasuga is too outgoing and open, which is shown in the aforementioned kiss incident. That being said, training (?) Kasuga, a girl, into becoming what I want her to be is still plenty of a problem in itself. What’s most crucial is that the more time I invest in Kasuga, the less time I will have for myself. But, the most problem part that I’ve become aware of is—

“…Is that…no good?”

That’s it! This saddened, dejected, lonely, and painful gaze in her eyes, as she’s tearing up! She looks like a small puppy left behind by its owner! What should I do here? I’m sure that…no, there’s no doubt that Kasuga is desperate to become my girlfriend. At the very least, at this very point in time, which is today. That’s why…is persevering here a waste of time as well?

Change of plans! Before, I thought ‘I will end up losing a few hours of time, but, well, rather than her constantly approaching me in the future, tagging along this once is probably better in the long run’ to myself. However, now I’m going with the ‘I don’t know how many days, or even weeks it may take, but if we stay together for a bit of time, and even if she relentlessly approaches me during that, things will eventually get awkward, and I can avoid a future where we actually become lovers’ stance.

My basic idea still hasn’t changed. I just have to make a compromise in the longer run. Basically, tagging along now will end things quicker, or that’s my thought process at least.

“Alright, I’m in.”

“Eh?”

“That being said, if I say no, then you have to accept a no, okay?”

“~~~! Yup! Thank you, Shizuki-kun!”

Hey, you’re clinging to me again!

****

[HINA: Evening, Shizuki-kun! Are you awake right now? Watching Downtown DX?]

Hm? I got a LINE message from Kasuga.

[Shizuki: Yeah, am awake. Do you need something?]

I rolled around on my leg, and sent my ‘girlfriend’ a message, which made me question my decisions in life up to this point. Wah, her response came in so fast!

[HINA: I just wanted to talk with you a bit!]

So basically, she herself is saying this is going to be an empty conversation…

[HINA: Oh yeah, Eri’s boyfriend is a university student, you know?]

[Shizuki: Huh? Is there nothing else you wanted to talk about?]

She sent me two messages right after another…Not to mention that she’s typing so fast…At least for me to respond before you keep sending me messages.

[HINA: Eh? Am I not allowed to send you a LINE message if I don’t have any important business?]

[HINA: So anyway, she said that he wants to break up with her!]

[HINA: She asked us what she should do, you know!]

[HINA: Also, Ooba-kun was confessed to by a girl in class 7!]

[HINA: So I was like, what seriously!?]

What…!? Now it’s five messages in a row…!? Also, what are you supposed to do about that? There’s nothing, really. What is with these live reactions…

[Shizuki: LINE is basically a new modern version of sending mails, which basically revolves around putting urgent business into text, so LINE is the exact same.]

[HINA: Eh? I thought we already talked about that…]

[Shizuki: What? We didn’t even get to that…]

Also, what about Downtown DX?

[HINA: So anyway, Ooba-kun rejected the girl!]

[HINA: And then, they all said that it’s such a waste~]

[HINA: But, Mai said that Ooba-kun could get someone better.]

[HINA: Then we talked about clubs, and Ooba-kun said that he’ll be the soccer club’s captain next year.]

Is this how normies always talk via LINE? It’s not actually a catch-ball conversation where I say something, and she responds to what I say, bringing up a different point, on which I comment, basically being adlib and adlib? This almost feels like I’m being washed along a stream, and that I’ll drown if I don’t comment.

[Shizuki: If you don’t need anything from me, I’ll head to sleep, okay?]

[HINA: Eh!? Wait! I’ll think of something!]

I don’t think that’s how that works…Well, commenting on that sounds like a pain, so I’ll just ignore it.

[HINA: Huh? Shizuki-kun, are you leaving me on read?]

10 minutes later.

[HINA: Shizuki-kun…Pay attention to me…]

5 minutes later.

[HINA: I’m a bit lonely, so could we talk on the phone? I…don’t have any business or anything though…]

3 minutes later.

[HINA: Since you’re leaving me on read, I might as well confess something to you, Shizuki-kun.]

1 minute later.

[HINA: At SweePara today, when I said that it would cost more if we didn’t drink the strawberry au lait together, that was a joke~]

[Shizuki: Huh!? Why would you joke about that!?]

[HINA: Because I like you so much, I wanted to be lovey-dovey with you!]

[Shizuki: How desperate are you to be lovey-dovey with me!?]

[HINA: Also, you’re actually responding to me now! You can’t leave me on read, okay!]

[Shizuki: Who even decided that!? Nobody ever explained the reason why you shouldn’t leave people on read, right!?]

Ahhh…In the end, I had to tag along with excessive chatting until Kasuga would fall asleep.