CH 6

Kasuga Hina Does Not Catch On To His Feelings

Thus, Golden Week arrived. May 5th, a Wednesday, was also known as Children’s Day. The sky was clear blue without a single cloud, as the sun gently shone down on us earthlings. Befitting this spring breeze, we could enjoy our long break from school. Enjoying this pleasant weather, I stood in front of the Sendai station’s stained glass—

“Morning, Shizuki-kun.”

“Ohhh, morning Kasuga.”

“Shizuki-kun, you’re here pretty early. We were supposed to meet up at 12, and it’s barely half past 11.”

“Well, that’s just how trains work.”

During holidays like these, I could only choose the 11.02am or the 11.39am train from Kitayama station. It’s only about 10 minutes from said Kitayama over here to Sendai, but you never know if something could happen in those ten minutes, so I didn’t want to cut it too close. That’s why I could only take the 11.02am train here.

“Ehhh, it’s not because you were looking forward to the date?” Kasuga pouted, sulking a bit.

“Rather than being excited, I was feeling nervous before sleeping last night.”

“Really!?”

Woah, look how happy she is.

“It’s more that I was anxious than looking forward to it, okay?”

“I’m still happy about that. The fact that you’re nervous when thinking about my date means that you’re properly seeing me as a girl, right?”

“I can’t deny that, but that sure is a positive mindset.”

“Ehe~” She puffed out her feminine chest, and grinned.

“But, you’re pretty early yourself, Kasuga. You called out to me a solid five seconds after I got out of the station.”

“Yup, I was actually waiting here since 10am, waiting for you to come here.”

“Eh!? You were planning on waiting for two hours!?”

“Ahahaha…I know that it’s nonsensical, but I was just looking forward to the date so much, and I was so happy that I woke up at 5am…”

Just seeing her apologetic, and a bit awkward, was more than enough to make her look cute, reminding me that this really was Kasuga Hina.

“Ah, that reminds me, isn’t there something you should tell me today, Shizuki-kun?”

“Ahhhh…Kasuga.”

“Yes…!”

“Well…you know…You look really cute today.”

“Yup, I tried my best so that you’d feel that way!”

“~~~!”

“Ahh, you’re blushing~, I’m a bit relieved you told me after I mentioned it, but maybe next time tell me immediately~”

Let me get a closer look at Kasuga’s clothes today. She wore a white, almost creamy knitted sweater top, with a black mini skirt below that. Rather than looking mature, it gave her a cute and feminine impression. Even below that, she wore knee-high boots, and although they were boots and not knee-socks, the absolute territory between skirt and boots was far too dazzling for me. By the way, the color of her boots were light brown.

Additionally, she had a pink shoulder bag on her shoulder, but naturally not one a boy would use. It wasn’t as thick and sturdy, much smaller and miniscule in design, the type that would fit barely anything inside. As for accessories, she had a heart necklace hanging down her chest—and that’s all I can say about her fashion.

“………”

“What’s wrong?”

“No…”

Without any intention of exaggeration, if the boys in our class saw her like this, they might just start crying, that’s how cute she looked. Naturally, Kasuga herself is always cute, but her fashion sense only elevates that. It’s not something picked in regards to the current season, but rather with her own taste in fashion, not too excessive, but just the right amount.

Some random model said that fashion isn’t an addition but a subtraction, but today Kasuga used both of that, which only pushed up her overall look, and it’s fair to say that she is a genius in that regard. Also, am I really going to walk around town with such beauty at my side…?

It’s not even on the level of an unfavorable comparison, this is technically supposed to be a date, so I chose clothes that matched this theme, but I…no, all hotties in this world probably would spoil Kasuga’s cuteness if they walked next to her.

“Let’s go, okay?” There, Kasuga grabbed my hand, but I still had trouble accepting the fact that this girl supposedly had feelings for me.

****

A few minutes later, we came to the cinema near Sendai station. Naturally, we had no other reason to be here except to watch a movie.

“…Kasuga.”

“Yep?”

“We’ll be watching a romance movie, right?”

“Ah, are you going to bring up the normie argument again?”

“No, I was thinking that, but I figured I should at least hold back for today.”

“Then what is it?”

“When I think about all the other couples around us, I start to feel sick…”

“Why!? T-Then, we just have to flirt ourselves so you don’t even get to pay attention to the people around us!” Kasuga acted like she received a shock, which was cute again, but…

“That logic doesn’t add up.”

“Ehhh? I wanted to be lovey-dovey with Shizuki-kun though!”

Right there, our turn at the ticket machine came up, which we had lined up for a few minutes prior.

“Now then.”

“Hm? Kasuga, are you going to choose the seats? It’s a bit of a stereotype, but normally the boy would do that, right?”

“Yup, I want to show you my growth.”

“Growth?”

“I’ll guess your favorite seat with everything I’ve learned!”

First, we selected the movie, and then chose the time slot. Finally came the selection of the seats…

“By the way, I would have chosen the seats the furthest back in the corner, but do you know why?”

“Knowing you, you probably thought that nobody would walk through there if they needed to visit the toilet, we could flirt around as much as we want without anyone realizing, we don’t get in the way of others, and it allows us to enter our own world of sorts…right?”

“Correct! Fufu, I’m happy.”

“Happy?”

“Just as much as I started to understand you, Shizuki-kun, you’ve gotten better at guessing what I’m thinking, right?”

“~~~! S-So, what kind of seat do you think I would pick?”

“Here!” Kasuga said, tapping on the screen.

Hmm, it’s not my most favorite position, but it at least allows us to sit next to each other while watching the movie.

“Shame, but you’re off.”

“No way!? I was so confident!”

“Basically, the 8th row, two seats to the right from the center, and in the 9th row, one seat to the left of the center.”

“Eh, so we’re not even going to sit next to each other!?”

“But, you know…”

“I know?”

“I myself am aware that we can’t just separately watch a movie together while we’re on a date.”

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that my favorite position doesn’t have to be the seats we go with.”

“Mmm? Shizuki-kun, you’re beating around the bush too much. Just get it out.”

“Ahhhh…! I’m saying that if you’re going to hold off on choosing the corner seats in the back, then I’ll also go without my favorite seats, so let’s sit next to each other while we watch the movie! Don’t make me say it, this is embarrassing.”

Ahhhhhhh, I want to die! Also, Kasuga! Don’t look so happy! Don’t cling to my arm like that!

“Ehehe, I’m glad. So you’re also taking steps towards me~” Kasuga said, and chose the third and fourth seat on the left side of the 9th row.

It’s probably obvious at this point, but these were the seats she pointed at a minute ago.

“Ehehe?”

“What are you laughing about now?”

“When I’m with Shizuki-kun, even choosing seats for the movie is fun, you know.”

“I-Is that so…”

“Yup! Ah, Shizuki-kun, let’s buy some popcorn and juice!”

“You’re right.”

That being said, we finished buying the tickets, and lined up for the snacks next. Around three minutes later, it was our turn to order.

“One L-sized box of popcorn please.”

“Kasuga, can you eat all of that on your own? It’s a pretty big box, you know.”

“Hm? We’re going to watch a movie together, so of course we’d share our popcorn, right?”

“Hm? I thought we would both buy our individual shares.”

“Why?”

“Even if we both bought juice for ourselves, we wouldn’t share it, right? Same goes for the popcorn.”

“Juice is juice, and popcorn is popcorn, right?”

“Huh?”

“Hmmmm?”

“—I guess we both need to work a bit harder.”

“Ahaha, seems like it.”

I’m surprised myself. Instead of getting to the usual confusion on both sides, we actually managed to end it quickly with ‘Well, next time’. Not to mention that I was actually aware of me smiling when I said those words.

****

“The movie was pretty good, right~”

“Yeah, I actually was pretty prejudiced towards romance movies, but I guess that one wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

As we were waiting for our food to be carried over, Kasuga struck up a conversation, and I responded accordingly. Well, according to her, eating something and exchanging impressions about the movie is a must, so we went to a restaurant near the Sendai train station…

“Are you sure about eating at a family restaurant like this? I’m more than fine with it, but we could have gone to a more stylish cafe…”

“Yeah, you’re right, but now we can also have lunch. Don’t think that the food at cafes is fulfilling. But, Shizuki-kun?”

“Hm?”

“You don’t really go to Star*ucks or other cafes in order to eat, you know.”

“…What?”

“Eh?”

“No no no. Places like those are still technically restaurants, right?”

“Personally speaking, I don’t visit a cafe to eat, but rather to talk and have fun.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really make sense to me.”

“I see…” Kasuga showed a somewhat saddened expression.

“That’s why…”

“That’s why?”

“I’d be thankful if you could explain it to me.”

“! Okay! Basically, the coffee or milk tea isn’t the main appeal, but rather the fact that you can chill with friends or lovers, talking about this and that.”

“So basically?”

“Hmmm…This is just solely based on my experiences, but it’s basically something like drinking coffee, and then saying ‘Ohh, this is pretty delicious’, or taking a picture before drinking the milk tea, saying ‘Hey, we should upload this~’, you know. That kind of stuff.”

“That kind of stuff…”

“Yup, that kind of stuff.”

“That sounds far too normie if you ask me.”

“Ehhhh~” Kasuga pouted ever so slightly.

But, that ‘Ehhh~’ still made it seem like she was having fun despite that…right? It’s like the ‘Seriously? That’s hilarious~’ kinda normie nuance, yeah?

“Also, in order to experience that, you would need friends or a partner, right?”

“Ah, now that you mention it.”

“Well, I learned something new today. Normies seek out communication in places like that, whereas loners…Well, we barely go out to begin with. At the very least, I don’t.”

“Ahaha…So to get back on the original topic, I’m feeling hungry myself, so I’d rather go to a family restaurant, which is why you don’t have to worry about it.”

“I see, that’s good to know.”

“You’re welcome.”

“But, I can somewhat imagine it. Those sorts of places might offer good taste, but not much in quantity.”

“Also, it’s pretty expensive for high school students like us.”

“By the way, because you can give me these examples, I’m assuming you often went there with friends?”

“Yup, if you want a recommendation, I think the cherry blossom strawberry pink milk latte.”

“How much do they want to emphasize that it’s pink, oi.” I threw in a retort, to which Kasuga showed a snicker, but…

Huh? Is this the kind of exchange lovers would have on a date?

“Thank you for waiting. Here is your carbonara. The pilaf with shrimp and squid will take a bit longer.”

“Thank you very much.” Kasuga thanked the employee.

By the way, the one who ordered the carbonara was Kasuga, and I chose the pilaf…I wonder, why is Kasuga not touching it?

“Not gonna eat?”

“Eh? I thought we were going to eat together?”

“Huh? But, it tastes better when it’s still fresh, right? Why wouldn’t you eat it?”

“No no no, it’s only the two of us right now, so it’d be better if I waited for your food to arrive as well, right?”

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

“Then, what should we do?”

“Can’t I just wait?”

“I see. Well, there’s a difference between improving, and blindly listening to what the other person says. If you want to eat together with me, then you can, you know?”

“Will do! Ah, that just now felt really good.”

“Felt good?”

“You actually respected my opinion.”

“I just told you the truth.”

“I’ve been starting to understand it more, but you’re a tsundere right, Shizuki-kun? Hehe, A bit of a twisted and dark tsundere…reminds me of the hero in a game a friend of mine is playing. You might not be best buds with the guys, but you’re pretty popular with the women, you know.”

“A dating sim, huh…Well, I only know the word for it.”

“By the way, what if you had gotten your food before me?”

“I’d be worried about burning my mouth, since the food was still fresh, so I probably would have waited a bit.”

“See, tsundere.”

“Hell no, I was just stating the facts.”

****

“Today was a lot of fun! Thanks for tagging along with me, okay?”

Standing on the pedestrian deck at Sendai station, which basically looked like it was floating in the air, Kasuga showed a blooming smile as she thanked me…But, well, I know. Leaving aside Kasuga’s overall attitude of the date, we both gave a lot of thought towards each other. That in itself created a distinct space that was different from the limited one at school. It’s like a heterogeneous conversation existed only for the date today. For example, the seats at the cinema, or the popcorn, even the timing when we started eating. But, even so…

“Yeah…it also…wasn’t half bad for me.”

“Ehhh? Just be honest and say that you had fun~”

Yeah, I guess…Even though we constantly bumped into each other with our opinions that…maybe could have been a tiny bit…only a small miniscule bit…fun, I guess? But, telling Kasuga about that would be…embarrassing. Or just make me feel all itchy? That’s why I don’t tell her that, but at the very least, I should thank her.

“Listen, Kasuga…”

“Hm?”

“About today…”

That’s when it happened.

“Ah? It’s Hina.”

“You’re right. What a coincidence.”

From a bit further away, I spotted a group of people…isn’t that the Kasuga group of girls and Ooba group of boys mixed together? What bad luck to run into them here…

“Ah, everyone, you’re going back from karaoke?”

“Oh, Kasuga. You rejected our invitation to karaoke, and went on a date with your boyfriend, huh.”

The person who walked towards me with a teasing grin was the leader of the boy’s group Ooba…but I really wish he wouldn’t tease me like that. Of course, I knew that it was to brighten up the mood, but…Ahh, everyone, don’t look at me like this…Because Ooba brought up the topic, now all their attention was directed at me, their gazes drilling holes into my body.

“Sorry that I couldn’t join you today.” Kasuga said.

“Nah, it’s fine. Spending time with your boyfriend always comes before friends, lol.” A girl called…Mai answered Kasuga’s apology.

“Still, that very Kasuga who rejected confessions from boys for an entire year now chose Kujou-kun at the very end, huh…It’s moving, alright,” said a girl called Eri if I remember correctly.

“Also, what kind of person was Kujou-kun anyway?”

“I don’t remember either~”

“Wasn’t he the guy who never did anything?”

“That’s it!”

“Ehhh? What’s up with that? Are you throwing complaints at my Shizuki-kun?”

This time, it’s Kasuga, huh. Displeased, maybe a bit disgruntled, or even sulking, she took an assertive stance, but it was obvious that she wanted to switch the conversation, even I could tell.

“No no, not at all~ Just thought it was unexpected.”

“Exactly, it’s like…I see, so Hina is more interested in the kind of guy who actually isn’t chasing after her like the other guys, you know.”

“Yep yep, you just took us by surprise.”

They’re still teasing me a bit, but at the very least, it’s not as if they’re asking ‘What’s so good about this guy?’ or ‘Is he actually worthy of being Hina’s boyfriend?’, so I’m a bit relieved.

“Ah, hold on a second, okay?” Kasuga suddenly cut off the conversation, and—Eh, why is she pulling me after her?

Where are we going? I mean, she merely pulled me a few meters away from the group.

“Shizuki-kun, are you okay?”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“I mean, you haven’t said a single word…”

“I mean, they’d be bewildered if I suddenly acted like I was one of them, right?”

“That’s not what I meant.” Kasuga spoke with an oddly anxious voice.

It felt like she actually was worried about me, as her eyes shook in fear.

“I may be a bit oblivious at times, but even I can understand what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t really know what to do with all of them around, right?”

“………”

“During lunch period, when walking home, you’ve been like that. When more people join your surroundings, you have a lot more trouble dealing with it than a normal person, right? Not like I really know what normal is in this case…”

“Kasuga—”

“During lunch period, when walking home, I’ve always been a bother to you, right? That’s why I reflected on it, and I won’t make the same mistake now.”

“…Or so you say, but if I just put up with it for a few more minutes, we’ll split up again, right?”

“I don’t think that will happen. They’ll probably go for another round of karaoke, and then to a family restaurant right after, you know?”

“……”

“Naturally, you’ll be joining us as well. Not because it’s you, but rather because you’re my boyfriend, though.”

“Meaning?”

“They all probably want to know who confessed first, what you like about me, what I like about you, and so on.”

“And if they invite us, we’re going…”

“On top of that, and I don’t really care, but even if you wanted to go home, you probably couldn’t because nobody else goes home either…”

“…I see.”

Yeah, that is probably what I can’t deal with in the slightest. Adjusting, going together, this is just beyond me. But, why? Why can’t I just say I’m going home despite Kasuga being this considerate of me?

“Sorry everyone, Shizuki-kun apparently has a stomach ache, so he’s leaving early!”

“Wha…Kasuga…?”

“It’s fine. This might sound like it came straight out of a battle manga, but I’ll take care of the rest, okay?”

After she called out to everyone else, she proceeded to whisper these words into my ear…but, for some reason…I was feeling a bit discomposed.

“Ehhh, I really wanted to ask a lot about your boyfriend~”

“Now now, this can’t be helped~ Also, he’d probably just be bewildered if he suddenly mixed in with us!”

“Alright, then I’ll be interrogating you another time, Kujou-kun~”

And finally, Kasuga looked at me…

“Bye bye, Shizuki-kun. See you at school—”

****

I took the train home, and observed the orange-colored scenery while being lost in my thoughts. Of course, I knew the word restraint. That’s why I might have been able to say ‘No no, you’re going to a second karaoke, right? Can I join you’, you know. Like, seriously. Well, it’s not that I could have perfectly pulled it off, and enabled 100% of the conversation they may have wished for, but just going there, moving my legs would have been fine. However…

“—That had the opposite effect.”

It’s not like I care what other people think of me, and if they give me weird glances. After all, if I did, it’d make me seem like a loner, even clearer than looking into a bright fire, and I’m aware of that. And, I also know that this aforementioned ‘Who is this guy’ look results from exactly that. But, that doesn’t mean that even Kasuga has to suffer from that.

Let me be honest here. Since this is the perfect time, I’ll state it clearly! Even if nobody else is listening right now! I will tell myself if need be—Kasuga Hina is a great girl that is absolutely wasted on me! Of course, her looks are one thing which I’m not going to ignore, but that’s not what I’m talking about here. Her personality couldn’t be nicer. The proof for that shows in the fact that I, who never praises other people, am saying this right now.

So, what? Just now, Kasuga had to be considerate of me. Of course, just going home like that made me look lame, pathetic, and not manly at all. But, when Kasuga gave me a reason to leave, and tagged after her group, she undoubtedly thought the following—’When Shizuki-san suffers, I feel sad as well’. It’s not that I think highly of me. I don’t think I’m good enough of a person that deserves Kasuga’s affection. That’s why…this is the opposite. I don’t value myself highly, I value Kasuga that way.

I think she’s very kind. That’s why, even if I’m not such a good person, I can tell that she’s been thinking exactly that. For that reason, I figured that tagging along would have the opposite effect, and that going home here would be for her sake, even if it made me look lame.

“For Kasuga’s sake, huh…”

I call it that way, but in the end, it’s actually for my own sake, right? I used Kasuga as a reason to give myself excuses because I wanted to go home, right? That kind of logic floated up inside my head as well, but…Like hell I had such an impure reason. Are you stupid? There’s a proper reason for why I went home. After all, I actually…

—I actually fell for Kasuga, and I chose this decision for her sake, so what the hell are you calling impure here? I didn’t want the kind Kasuga to feel guilty. Yeah, that’s right. I haven’t told her yet, but I actually like her. At first, I sure as hell didn’t, and I actually couldn’t deal with her, but after spending so much time with her, my feelings changed. That’s why.

During lunch? On the way home? These gazes of ‘Who the hell is this guy’ were tough, and I actually could barely bear with them. But, I still fell in love with Kasuga. That’s why I could say that I didn’t care about them…or at least declare it in my thoughts.

So, why did I fall in love with her? Come on, a cute girl like her showed interest in a gloomy guy like me! She was fine with walking next to me, pulling me along, even if it wasn’t in front of others, you know!? There’s no way I could not fall in love with her. How could I not develop feelings for her? Of course, there are still times where I’m a bit bewildered, specifically when it’s about eating lunch together, or walking home together with her friends.

But…even if being together with all of them is still impossible for me, if I have Kasuga with me, nothing is impossible. The moment I realized my own feelings happened right when our date began. Of course, not simply because I saw Kasuga in her casual clothes. It’s because of what I told Kasuga on the day she visited my home. ‘Human beings, more or less, treasure their own freedom, free time, and free space’—

When my date with Kasuga began, it clicked. Going on a date with her means that we’d be together the whole day. The second I realized that, I thought to myself that I was actually fine with offering my free time and space to Kasuga. I wouldn’t mind if she disrupted my time for myself.

“But, whenever Kasuga’s with them, she can at least keep smiling.”

I’m lonely, and it makes my heart ache as well. Since she said that she would become my ideal type of girl, she would become more of a loner like me. I may have fallen in love with her, but my ideal type of girl is still more of a secluded, shy, and introverted girl. But, if I did that to her, she would stop being the Kasuga that I fell in love with.

“—I guess I should keep my distance from her for a bit…”