Chapter 4

Londo's story was something I knew nothing about.

Craes on a quest with a woman? What does that mean?

He only told me he was going out for a bit. Craes has never lied to me before.

He is honest and kind, and treats me better than anyone else.

—There’s no way he could be cheating.

But—

I felt uneasy.

The cause lies in my attitude.

Lately, I’ve been saying cruel things to Craes.

I’ve been using words that could make anyone leave me if they weren’t Craes.

At first, we could be a simple two-person party, and I could be honest and affectionate with Craes, but now I can’t. The stress makes me harsh towards Craes, and I fall into self-loathing, repeating this cycle.

What angers me the most is Londo, who knows nothing about Craes, speaking ill of him.

I know it’s because of my attitude, but my anger keeps building up.

I won’t forgive it—

I don’t need a guy like this.

I want to kill him.

This is my undeniable, ugly truth. I just wanted to be with Craes alone.

He might leave me for another woman.

Even though he would never betray me, such a worst-case scenario keeps haunting my mind.

Right now, I can’t even trust myself.

I can’t control myself in front of Craes.

The reason is clear.

“The day of the promise” is approaching.

Hey, Craes. Do you remember?

I’ve been waiting for so long. Will you tell me?

As the day approaches, my emotions become increasingly unstable.

Now, they have reached their peak.

The day of the promise is just around the corner.

I should finally get what I’ve always wanted.

The words Craes said that day still shine brightly in my heart.

That’s why I’m afraid.

What if Craes forgets the promise?

What if the words he says are not what I want to hear?

My heart will break.

I’m already at my limit.

Every day, a storm of passion rages, and I can’t even understand what I’m saying to him.

I want him to see me, to pay attention to me, to not forget me, but only words that contradict my true feelings keep spilling out.

Craes always accepts them with a troubled expression.

I love him so much that I can’t control my own heart anymore.

—I’m hurting him—

The first time we met, Craes had the look of someone who had been betrayed and was about to die.

With hollow eyes, he looked at me, and I wanted to protect him.

I resolved to save him no matter what.

But now, I’m hurting him, doing the same thing.

I’m the worst... me.

For over 10 years, I’ve just been waiting for that day.

I’ve been longing for it.

—I wanted to be kissed—wanted to be embraced.

—I wanted more touch—more connection.

But the promise we made that day has become a shackle.

We agreed not to do “those things” until I turn 18.

It’s an important promise between the two of us.

All the days leading up to this were for that, and our relationship will change after that day.

How—?

My 18th birthday.

I haven’t told Londo that it’s my birthday.

I have no intention of telling such a creepy guy.

Because I definitely didn’t want to be interrupted.

The day I will be united with Craes.

So, can I trust you, Craes?

That day, I wished to save him.

But now, I want to be freed from this reality, from my heart, which is bound with thorns and brambles.