Chapter 48

### Chapter 48: The Price of Loss (9)

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#17

Rather.

I thought it would be better to die.

But I couldn't die. There was a reason I had to. How much more effort would I need to put in here? Creating something out of nothing, creating something from nothing—was it even a feasible task for someone with no talent?

So, I didn't want to die yet.

I had to live.

I grabbed onto something.

“—Ah!”

I felt something in my hand.

“Eek… This… Let go…!”

No, don't let go. I don't want to die…

I clung to a rock jutting out from the cliff, barely holding on, but my strength quickly drained away.

I was falling.

Into a place deeper than the very bottom.

A fathomless abyss where no one could predict how much life and time it would take to climb back up. A place where I would endlessly repeat a near-eternal hardship—

“…Really, I don't know.”

A sigh was clearly heard.

I, who had just woken from a long sleep, slowly opened my eyes.

The reality that had felt like a hallucination or a dream soon began to press down on me like a heavy rock, gradually pulling my submerged consciousness back to reality.

…An unfamiliar ceiling.

It was white. That was all.

No, it looked a bit dark now. The entire space was enveloped in darkness except for the faint blue light that dimly illuminated the interior.

Thanks to the reflected light, it appeared slightly dark gray… No, this isn't right. My thoughts and consciousness were not fully coherent.

Then.

“…Eh?”

My gaze suddenly shifted to the side.

Blink.

In a single blink, I absorbed a lot of information.

Blonde hair. Black ribbon. White uniform. A wrist held by my hand. Pale, smooth skin. The pale moonlight that stained it and the faint blush that stood out because of it.

In an instant, a moment passed.

“—Ah! Y-You, y-you, y-you, y-you’re awake…!”

Suddenly, my body was tilted to the side.

The chair creaked. The hand that was held by me was pulled back. Due to the lack of strength, it slipped out, and she let out a short scream, flailing her arms in the air as if she was about to fall.

Dangerous.

I abruptly sat up.

Thud.

“…!”

My eyes widened.

I immediately extended my left hand to grab the wrist again.

Whoosh!

I quickly pulled her towards me.

…Clatter!

The chair fell to the ground with a loud noise.

If she had fallen with me, my head would have hit the ground hard. Even if that didn't happen, it was extremely dangerous. It was a reflexive action. My head throbbed for a moment due to the sudden movement.

Anyway.

From the small frame that entered my embrace, a fresh scent of lemon mixed with milk wafted up, sweet and tangy.

The back and waist I wrapped protectively with my right arm were so small and fragile that they seemed like they would break if I applied any more force.

The golden hair that fluttered in the intense shaking soon settled calmly. Watching the movement, which resembled an animal's tail, I suddenly realized the name of the girl who was now in my arms: Yurina von Artina.

—Creak.

“What’s going on!? I just heard a loud noise…”

The door to the white room opened.

Yurina's face, which had momentarily frozen, turned as red as a beet I had seen before, and the two familiar faces that appeared in the gap of the open door looked back and forth between me and Yurina on the bed.

“…Ah?”

“…”

“…”

It was a strange silence that lasted about three seconds.

A moment later.

“Gah.”

I was forcibly laid down on the bed.

Yurina, who had been screaming silently, jumped off the bed in a panic and quickly pushed me away with both hands. It all happened in an instant.

Yurina started talking rapidly.

“…Y-You, y-you, y-you! You suddenly opened your eyes, so, yeah! I was so surprised! You almost fell, so…!”

But, everyone already knew that much. Just looking at the overturned chair on the floor, one could guess what had happened.

But, as if determined to thoroughly explain the circumstances that led to this awkward position from an objective standpoint, Yurina rambled on for a while.

“…I’ll go get someone—!” she said, charging through the gap between the two and fleeing out the open door faster than anyone else.

…It’s questionable whether she’ll come back here.

Anyway.

I was in a terrible state of mind right after waking up.

Around me.

“…A-Are you awake? Elio?”

They stood there, frozen like they had been hit by a petrification spell, and only now did they come to their senses and slowly approach me.

#18

The first thing that came to mind was that.

…My head feels like it’s going to split.

I pressed my temples with my fingers, but the pain didn’t subside, and I had to frown.

Where am I, exactly?

Why am I here…

“D-Do you want some water…?”

Why are they here.

After righting the fallen chair and sitting on it, Miu and Ruby, who was standing beside her and looking at me with a worried expression, asked me cautiously.

“…Ah, yeah. Can I have a glass, please?”

My voice was slightly hoarse.

“Of course. Just a moment.”

“Thanks.”

Ruby smiled softly and turned to leave the room.

A moment later.

“…How are you feeling?”

I looked down at Miu’s question.

I was wearing a hospital gown. This seems to be a hospital room. The space is quite spacious, but I am the only patient here. Is this a private room? Impressive.

The intense headache that had been tormenting me since I woke up began to ease as the scent in the room wafted past my nose a few times. It seems to be coming from an incense burner on the table, and it appears to have a calming effect.

“I seem to be okay for now…”

“Then… can you recognize me?”

“…Huh?”

What is she talking about?

Turning my head to the side, I saw Miu’s face, which was a mix of various complex emotions and a pained expression.

Did she suddenly ask such a bizarre question right after I woke up in the hospital? What happened to me?

“Of course… it’s Miu.”

“Ah… I’m so relieved…”

Miu closed her eyes and sighed in relief.

…But, more importantly.

It feels a bit awkward. She’s speaking informally to me.

When did Miu start doing this? I’m pretty sure I was the one who suggested we drop the formalities. When was that? How did that conversation come about…

“…Ouch.”

“…! E-Does it hurt? Are you okay?”

I don’t know. Something just surged up from inside.

My head started hurting again.

The ballroom. The back of the ballroom. That’s where Miu, Ruby, and I were talking.

I was sitting on a bench, and Ruby was… crying. Then, why, why did that happen?

I remember bits and pieces of our conversation.

But, even though it’s clearly my memory, I can’t recall my own thoughts or feelings from that moment as if I were an outsider.

Why was Ruby sobbing?

What was she sorry for?

…What was she sorry to me for?

And, why did I just stand there with a complicated expression without asking a single question about the reason?

I can’t understand at all.

Even with Miu… Ah, that’s right.

Miu had asked me to stop calling her senpai and to speak informally to me.

Objectively, it made sense. We were now in the same grade, so it felt unnatural to keep calling her senpai.

Yeah, but…

…What about the letter?

It was something I said.

But I couldn’t understand it.

A letter? I said I had said everything I needed to in the letter and that if there was anything else, we could talk later? Did I write a letter to Miu? We never had a reason to communicate through letters in middle school, so I don’t think I ever did…

The more I tried to piece together my jumbled memories, the more my headache worsened.

Something felt off. It was as if an important link was missing.

…Why am I here in the first place?

Not just in the hospital.

But in this Royal Frontier Academy.

How did I end up enrolling here?

I remember waking up in the temple. But what happened before that? I couldn’t recall anything.

As I tried to dig through my memories, the only thing I could remember was going to bed early to avoid staying up the night before Miu’s birthday.

Yeah, that’s where it all stopped.

…Everything was cut off.

Waking up in the temple. My body had changed. With the help of the priest, I packed my things and submitted a withdrawal application to the academy. The gap in between. Leaving the temple late at night and heading somewhere. The memory was shrouded in pitch-black darkness, and I couldn’t see anything.

The next thing I remembered was boarding the train to Frontier and everything from the day of enrollment to now… I met Professor Nadie on Saturday morning and went to the 4th district to meet her, and that’s when I met her.

Something must have happened then.

“…Ouch!”

I don’t know. It was too difficult to recall any more. Each time I tried to remember, a sharp pain shot through my brain.

“—Elio? Y-You’re in a lot of pain, right?”

I don’t know how long I had been like that, but when I came to, Miu was holding my arm and sobbing.

Had I been sweating? My palm, which was on my forehead, was quite damp. Shaking my head, I lay back on the bed.

“It was just a bit of dizziness. I’m fine now.”

“No, you seem to be in a lot of pain. You don’t have to do anything right now. Just lie down and rest without thinking about anything. Okay?”

She almost seemed to be pleading.

I’m really fine, you know.

I gave a small, bitter smile.

Swoosh.

At the same time, I naturally stroked Miu’s soft hand, which was on my arm, and said playfully.

“Worrying is part of your nature, you know. You only treat me like a master when I’m in this state. Usually, you take pleasure in tormenting me… you…”

My voice gradually faded.

—Huh?

I realized it as I spoke.

Something was off.

Actually, I had felt a slight sense of strangeness since I woke up.

Apart from the headache, the gaps in my important memories and—my attitude towards Miu and Ruby seemed to have changed drastically compared to the day of enrollment.

For example…

When I went to meet Professor Nadie.

After getting off the tram and arriving at the 4th district, I ran into Miu at the station. I couldn’t just ignore her, so I greeted her and moved on.

Just as I was about to, Miu stopped me and wanted to have a sincere conversation with a determined look on her face.

I was supposed to have a prior engagement, so I was going to refuse, but even if I had no plans, I probably would have refused once.

So, why…

…Why did I do that?

It had been a long time since I had seen Miu. We had a lot to talk about. We should have had a long reunion.

But why…

…Wait a minute.

Everything from start to finish is strange. The reason I ended up here at the Royal Frontier Academy. That’s the biggest issue.

Why did I submit a withdrawal application to the Lorson Academy? Why did I leave there without telling Miu and Ruby anything… Why were we so awkward when we met again?

I can understand Ruby.

But—

“…Miu.”

I whispered quietly.

There was no response.

I looked at Miu’s hand, which was cold and stiff under my palm. It felt like the first time I had touched it since my body changed. It’s much smaller now. More accurately, I’ve grown.

A profound silence filled the hospital room.

My heart began to beat faintly.

At the same time, the pain that had momentarily subsided began to stir in my head again. I let my bangs fall through my fingers and covered my forehead with my right hand.

“…Just in case, I’m asking.”

I paused and turned to look at her.

There, Miu stood with an unreadable expression.

As if time had stopped, she didn’t blink, and no words came from her slightly parted lips.

Then, after a while.

…Drip.

A small drop formed a thin, thread-like line and slowly trickled down Miu’s cheeks.

…On the other hand, I.

Without letting go of Miu’s hand, I quietly voiced the question that had been on my mind.

“…Did we break up?”

About two minutes later.

The door to the hospital room creaked open. Ruby returned with a water bottle and a cup. Behind her stood a doctor, presumably brought by Yurina.

After drinking the cold water Ruby handed me and lying back on the bed, still feeling a bit disoriented, the doctor entered the room and briefly sent the others outside to check on my condition.

While I answered his questions, my mind was elsewhere.

It seemed there was nothing particularly wrong with my body.

He mentioned that I seemed healthier than when I had undergone a detailed examination during the enrollment test, and he expressed personal curiosity about the state I had been in when I was brought to the medical center.

Of course, I politely declined the idea of being a test subject under the guise of special treatment.

Only my body, though.

It seems there was a bit of a problem with my mind.

Some of my memories may have been lost due to the shock of the accident. It’s unknown how long it will take to recover, and there’s a chance I might never get them back.

However, he said that since only the memory-related areas of the brain seemed to be affected, it shouldn’t hinder my ability to live a normal life.

I simply nodded, thinking, "I see."

Since my body was healthy, there was no need to stay in the medical center.

I went through the normal discharge procedures the next day.

—Whirr…

As I stepped out of the medical center, the bright sun greeted me.

It was midday on a Wednesday.

I had been told that my absence would be excused until today, but since I was already behind in class, I planned to head straight to the lecture hall after returning.

Still receiving uncomfortable gazes, I boarded the tram and sat in the most secluded spot, closing my eyes and falling into a calm reflection.

I didn’t get an answer to my question about whether we had broken up.

But I had a vague sense.

Probably, that was the case.

Our fingers didn’t have rings.

‘…’

…While trying to recall the events from the lost memories, thinking about Miu, who had become my ex-girlfriend without my knowledge, I made a considerable effort.

But in the end, I couldn’t recall anything.

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