Chapter 96

### Chapter 96: Change (10)

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#19

“Hey, why is this like this?”

There was no one around.

Perhaps because of that, Rubea’s gaze swept over the empty space. Her lost gaze wandered here and there, eventually drooping.

Rubea’s face turned slightly red, as if she had been caught in the act.

Her pale pink lips, which had been trembling slightly, began to spout a half-hearted excuse.

“It’s just a habit, I guess. I did it without realizing it...”

“You never had this habit before.”

“...”

If Rubea had been unable to stop biting her nails since childhood, the current situation might have been somewhat understandable.

But that wasn’t the case.

When I first saw Rubea in Frontier, her nails were well-maintained. They were neatly trimmed and pretty.

But over time, they started to become misshapen, and now they were rough and uneven, with some skin and scabs visible.

“I tried to let it go. It could have just been a habit, as you said. ...But it’s become this serious, and it’s a problem. This is a wound. Why do you keep doing this?”

“...”

It had gradually increased over time. Thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger... She bit and bit until there were no more nails to bite, then moved on to the next one. It was almost like an obsession.

I carefully recalled Rubea biting her nails until they bled.

It was no different from self-harm.

Not only was she not the type to have such a bad habit, but considering how Rubea had been recently—there must have been something she couldn’t tell me. I was sure of it.

“I’ll try to fix it. It’s just a habit, I guess. Thanks for worrying. But...”

“Fixing it is important, but what I’m really concerned about is why you developed this habit, Rubea.”

“...”

“You didn’t start biting your nails to this extent for no reason, did you? What happened? It seems to have gotten worse recently.”

“...”

Rubea tried to pull her wrist out of my grip, but eventually realized it was futile and just kept avoiding my eyes.

As I mentioned before, Rubea is the type whose emotions show easily. Her avoiding me like this means she has something to hide. It’s likely a very sensitive issue for her.

I don’t like forcing people to talk.

But Rubea is the type who doesn’t like to worry others and rarely opens up on her own. She only speaks up when she’s truly struggling and feels like she’s about to die.

It didn’t seem like it had reached that point yet, but there was definitely something big happening that I didn’t know about.

“It’s nothing. It’s not that bad...”

“It’s not bad?”

I carefully examined Rubea’s wrist, which I was holding, and gently touched her middle finger.

“Ouch.”

“It hurts, doesn’t it? See?”

Rubea’s expression twisted. If a slight touch could elicit such a reaction, it was definitely serious. Rubea, having nothing to say, bowed her head, and my face naturally grew more concerned.

I thought things had improved a bit after our conversation in the cabin. But this seemed to be a different issue.

If it had been someone else, I might not have fully grasped the severity, but it was Rubea. I know Rubea well. She’s not the type to do this. There must be a reason she can’t easily share with others.

Miu has a trauma. Miu also couldn’t tell me what she was hiding. When I forced her to talk, she broke down like a broken machine.

So, what about Rubea?

What could it be...

‘...It can’t be that, right?’

For a moment, I had a ridiculous thought. Under the bright sunlight, I looked at Rubea’s hand and muttered.

“I’m not trying to scold you. I’m worried.”

Biting nails is an unconscious action to reduce anxiety or tension. Rubea was never the type to do this.

Of course, like anyone, she sometimes gets nervous or anxious, but she doesn’t bite her nails to this extent. She just takes deep breaths to calm down.

“I know. But...”

“We’re friends. If you have something on your mind, tell me.”

“...”

At my words, Rubea lifted her head as if in a trance.

Our green eyes met.

Her slightly parted lips made no sound, and her eyes, like those of a child drenched in rain, trembled slightly before finally settling. She looked down at the ground and suddenly smiled.

“If I tell you.”

“...?”

“If I tell you, will anything change...?”

Indeed, she had something on her mind.

But I also thought that asking her now wouldn’t do much good. It might even make things worse.

For some reason, I had a feeling that if she forced herself to confide in me, Rubea would break down. It was a kind of intuition.

“...I won’t know until you tell me.”

I don’t know. Why Rubea is doing this. If she doesn’t tell me, I’ll never know.

Could this be...

Related to my lost memories?

If it was, the content Rubea told me in the cabin would have been enough.

I saved Rubea, and because of that.

—She said she loves me.

“...”

I closed my mouth, pretending to wait for Rubea’s answer.

A moment of silence.

Amidst the morning bird songs, a profound silence stretched on, as if it would last forever.

It can’t be.

It definitely can’t be.

If it was related, it seemed to be the only possibility, and I kept shaking my head in denial, as if to reject the reality I didn’t want to believe.

We agreed to pretend it never happened, and I hoped Rubea wouldn’t do that. If she did, we wouldn’t be friends anymore. That was a future I never wanted.

I was the one who held on, but I wanted to let go.

Feeling a slight loosening of my grip.

In response to my words that I wouldn’t know unless she told me, Rubea.

“...Then, it’s better not to tell.”

With a hint of regret, futility, bitterness, and perhaps a touch of happiness and sadness, she finally drew a curve at the corners of her lips.

I couldn’t say anything.

I couldn’t make any response or comment.

The emotions reflected on Rubea’s face were incomprehensible, and my own face was surely distorted in a way that was easy to guess. Even the dull Rubea could make such an expression.

“...You can hate me. Elio.”

Rubea’s wrist was already free.

“But I can’t hate you.”

She gently wrapped her hand around mine, then let go as if satisfied, and took a step to the side, crossing her arms.

...Thud, thud.

Passing by me, who was standing in the middle of the path leading to the elevator, Rubea slowly walked towards the student council building, where she had some business to attend to.

“...See you later, Elio.”

Work hard.

She suddenly turned to look back, but didn’t take a step. The distance between me and Rubea grew wider and wider.

#20

Wednesday’s free period.

Miu was sitting on a bench, reading a book.

—Flip, flip.

Although she wasn’t humming a tune without Elio, she was clearly in high spirits. Anyone could tell she was in a joyful state. It was a change that would shock anyone who had seen Miu’s initial appearance at the beginning of the school year.

...Of course, her worries about the future hadn’t completely disappeared, but the few words of pleasant conversation she had with Elio were a significant boost.

Given how deeply she had sunk, even a small change made a huge impact on Miu.

She had a conversation with Elio, reminiscing about old memories. Not only that, but Elio had suggested they talk more in the future.

She was filled with joy. It had been so long since she felt such a rich emotion, and she wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

Later,

She might not be able to.

She was reading a book that she had found hard to look at before, now reading it in the sunlight, flipping through the pages.

It was picturesque and had a good atmosphere. Miu had always liked such a sense of feeling. That’s why they had chosen the back staircase of the Lorcen Academy as their special place.

A few Epic Class students passing by glanced at Miu reading a book on the bench but didn’t approach. The perception that she was rigid, cold, and ruthless to strangers was widespread.

That was what Miu wanted. Her alone time. It was very good. The landscape of the Epic Class grounds was well-maintained, comparable to a famous resort. Whenever she lifted her head from her book, the beautiful scenery naturally made her marvel. In short, she enjoyed such moments.

“Hey, hi!”

“...”

If there were no interruptions, that is.

Miu closed her book and was about to leave, but then thought, Why should I leave? Can’t I just chase this kid away?

“...Sigh.”

While having such thoughts and letting out a short sigh.

“What were you... reading a book!”

Whether Miu sighed or not.

Sasha Elne, with a beaming smile, plopped down next to Miu without permission.

“What book is it? Sasha doesn’t read much, so I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know many words! When I was little, Sasha didn’t read, and my dad read to me. But after I grew up, my dad wasn’t around, so no one read to Sasha. After graduation, there was no need to read, so I just didn’t. So, Sasha...”

It felt like something significant had just passed by.

...What to say. A terrible sense of distance. An approach without any hesitation. It was especially frustrating that she only did this to me, not to others. I had heard she wanted to make friends, but why me?

The number of times I had pushed her away easily exceeded dozens. Sasha never gave up and kept coming back.

Why, why are you so desperately trying to do this...

Miu, who had a similar experience with Elio, didn’t view such persistence negatively, but this was different. It was annoying.

She hated being bothered. Especially if it wasn’t something she had chosen.

“You didn’t tell me last time...”

“Oh, right!”

“...?”

Rustle, rustle.

“Do you want a cookie?”

She took a cookie and put it in her mouth.

Sasha tilted her head and extended her hand. A small, pale hand, with a cookie attached. The savory smell and the crispy texture of the cookie stimulated Miu’s salivary glands.

...Trying to lure me with food. I’m not averse to delicious cookies; in fact, I like them. But the person offering it was Sasha. Miu quietly looked at the cookie Sasha offered.

Actually, Sasha didn’t expect much. She thought the first attempt would fail.

Then, she needed more cookies. She planned to give more cookies to Miu in the future. But then.

“...”

It’s free, so...

It’s fine.

Miu took the cookie with her mouth.

“!”

Sasha’s watery eyes widened in surprise.

“What.”

“...No! Hehe.”

When Miu narrowed her eyes as if to ask why she made such a face after giving the cookie, Sasha momentarily shrank like a puppy and then smiled brightly.

Miu, looking at that foolish smile,

Let out a sigh and spoke.

“...Why do you want to be friends with me?”

“...Huh?”

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