Chapter 1

Under the scorching midday sun, even the cicadas seemed to be struggling to chirp. In the backyard of the Wengji County Police Station, several police cars were parked in the shade under the trees.

About seven or eight police officers were queuing up outside a police car numbered 0088. To shield themselves from the scorching sun, some held umbrellas, some used newspapers to block the sunlight, and others fanned themselves with their hats, all sweating profusely and eagerly looking forward, muttering, "It's my turn, it's my turn, hurry up, just two minutes, show some discipline!"

Even though they were feeling dizzy from the heat, none of them wanted to leave.

Not only did they not want to leave, they even tried to push forward, afraid that someone else might take their place.

"Brother Zhang, look at how scorching the sun is. You should go back and enjoy the air conditioning. If you get heatstroke again, that would be serious," Officer Xiao Li, a community police officer, said to Officer Zhang, the household registration officer.

"Get lost, you brat. Why don't you go back and enjoy the air conditioning?" Officer Zhang, who had become a household registration officer after being injured, was known for his fiery temper. Upon hearing this, he raised his hand to strike, but Xiao Li, despite being beaten, refused to leave.

After hitting Xiao Li twice, Officer Zhang looked at his watch and quickly pulled open the car door. "Alright, alright, it's finally my turn!"

He grabbed the skinny plainclothes officer who was lounging in the passenger seat and pulled him out, then plopped himself into the seat.

"Ah..." As soon as he sat down, Officer Zhang let out a comfortable sigh. He felt the seat perfectly fit his body, providing unparalleled comfort. The soft seat, the cool mat, and the perfectly adjusted air conditioning, along with the gentle vibrations of the engine, felt like a massage.

Officer Zhang took a deep breath, racking his brain to find words to describe the feeling. If he had to compare it, it was like the feeling of collapsing onto a warm bed at home after chasing a criminal for a day and a night, not having to worry about anything, and falling asleep immediately.

It was so comfortable, so nostalgic.

Sitting there, he even felt his old back problem ease up.

"Did Chief Chen change the car seat?" When his two minutes were up, Officer Zhang, with the great willpower of an old detective, got up and asked Xiao Li, who was eagerly waiting to get in, "Where did you get it? How much did it cost? I want one too."

"I want one too!" Xiao Li replied. He had sat in the passenger seat earlier in the morning and didn't find it particularly comfortable. In such a short time, it was impossible for the seat to have been changed. The only thing that had happened... was that the kid had sat in it for a while.

What did that kid do to the car seat?

Forget it, no point in thinking about it.

Xiao Li shook his head, dismissing the unreliable thought, and was about to get into the passenger seat. He had been waiting for over ten minutes, and it was finally his turn.

Just then, a window on the second floor opened, and a steady voice called out, "Xiao Li, come here for a moment."

"Ah... Chief Chen..." Xiao Li's expression was like he had been kicked in the stomach, completely stunned.

After waiting so long, it was unfair for Chief Chen to call him away like this!

"Chief Chen is calling you, hurry up and go!" A police officer behind him pushed Xiao Li aside and quickly slid into the passenger seat.

Closing the window, Chief Chen Wei of the Wengji County Police Station shook his head. "What are these guys doing?"

This was a small office, with a semi-new large desk on one side and two sets of guest sofas in front. A young man was lying lazily on one of the sofas.

The old air conditioner was struggling to cool the room, but it remained stiflingly hot.

Seeing the young man, Chief Chen felt his anger rise. He glared and said, "Sit up straight!"

If anyone else in the police station had been there, they would have stood at attention in fear. Chief Chen was known for his integrity and authority, and his subordinates respected him greatly.

But the young man just made a face and ignored him.

Chief Chen raised his hand, waved it, but ultimately just gently patted the young man's head. "You! You'll be the death of me!"

Seeing the young man about to laugh, Chief Chen glared again. "No laughing!"

But in front of the young man, his authority was reduced to just a fraction, and that was only because the young man gave him some face.

The young man's name was Nan Ming. Although he was 20 years younger than Chief Chen, he was Chief Chen's younger cousin.

As the chief of the Wengji County Police Station, Chief Chen was a significant figure in this small city. People often lined up from the police station to the main street to ask for his help. However, this young cousin, who had been running around in front of him since childhood, had once urinated on his head. The older generation doted on him and loved him dearly.

Despite his authority in the office, if Nan Ming complained to the family, Chief Chen would have to kneel on a washboard at night.

While Chief Chen's authority was restrained, Nan Ming didn't feel particularly triumphant.

As the youngest among many siblings, Nan Ming liked to act silly and cute when dealing with his older brothers and sisters. No matter what trouble he caused, it often ended up being a minor issue.

But today's incident was not something that could be easily resolved.

He had caused a major problem.

"Still laughing? I'll call your aunt if you keep laughing!" Chief Chen had to resort to his ultimate threat.

Chief Chen's aunt was Nan Ming's mother.

Nan Ming finally stopped laughing and said with a pained expression, "Brother, listen to me. I didn't jump off the building on purpose. I had no choice."

"No choice? No choice means you can jump off a building? I almost wet my pants from fright!" Thinking about it, Chief Chen felt his anger rise again.

When he heard from Officer Xiao Li that a young man was about to jump off a building during a patrol, his heart sank.

Actually, this wasn't the first time Nan Ming had tried to jump. Over the past six months, he had caused a lot of trouble, but previous attempts were stopped in the early stages. This time, he managed to find an opportunity and climbed to the top of an abandoned warehouse.

Fortunately, Chief Chen arrived in time, delayed the situation, and had the firefighters set up a safety net below, which saved his life.

"Brother, didn't you notice something different about me?" Nan Ming spread his hands and asked Chief Chen.

"What's different?"

"I have superpowers!" Nan Ming said.

"Smack!" Chief Chen, in a fit of anger, hit Nan Ming on the head.

However, after Nan Ming said this, Chief Chen realized that there was indeed something different about him.

Since his mysterious disappearance a few days ago six months ago, Nan Ming had been lazy and listless, speaking and acting with no energy, and even stopped going to school.

His family had taken him to various hospitals, including Peking Union Medical College Hospital, but the doctor said, "Your child is not sick. He's just lazy. If you want to call it a disease, it's lazy cancer."

Lazy? Could someone be so lazy that they would rather starve to death than eat? Could someone be so lazy that they would lie in bed for days without eating, moving, or using the bathroom? Could someone be so lazy that the whole family and even the police had to search for him, only to find him lying in his own bed?

There were many strange things, but without an explanation, Nan Ming's family could only accept the doctor's joke as a reason: Nan Ming had lazy cancer, an incurable disease.

Actually, Nan Ming wasn't suffering from lazy cancer; he was possessed by a "Lazy God."

The so-called Lazy God was not a god but a "plugin" attached to Nan Ming's soul.

This thing not only attached itself but also parasitized, constantly absorbing nutrients from Nan Ming to grow.

At first, the aggressive absorption almost killed Nan Ming. He first lost a lot of weight, then became weak, and when the energy in his body was depleted, the Lazy God started absorbing his "presence."

This made Nan Ming realize the strange and terrifying nature of the Lazy God.

He was clearly in his room, but no one paid attention to him.

Later, even mirrors couldn't reflect his image, as if he had become a ghost.

Nan Ming didn't know how he survived. When he was found, he was almost dead. This made him realize that if he didn't subdue the Lazy God, he wouldn't even live to see his next birthday.

Despite his youth, Nan Ming had a strong will.

This led to the incident of jumping off the building: if you don't give in, I'll die with you.

Threatened with death, the Lazy God finally gave in and made a deal with Nan Ming.

The absorption of energy couldn't stop because growth was the Lazy God's instinct, but to prevent Nan Ming from being drained, the Lazy God provided special assistance.

Their relationship changed from parasitic to symbiotic. Nan Ming provided nutrients, and the Lazy God provided a special ability.

The Lazy God needed two types of nutrients: energy and "positive energy."

Energy came from food and was relatively easy to accumulate by eating more and moving less.

"Positive energy" covered a broader range, including a sense of achievement, satisfaction, and happiness, and presence could勉强算作一种。

总之，被“懒神”附体后，南冥似乎只能按照懒神的建议，过上“好吃懒做爱享受”的日子，才能活下去。

在南冥的视野一角，有一排十个指示格，每个格子都手指长，筷子粗，看起来就像是一排能量槽。

按照懒神休眠前的说法，这十个指示格装满后，懒神会产生进化，而南冥就可以摆脱生不如死的生活了。

于是，南冥手机的“待办事项”清单里，多了一个标红并加了三个叹号的重要待办事项：“集满十格能量”。

南冥有很多梦想，但如果想要有小命完成梦想，首先就要摆脱懒神的钳制。

而这个目标，目前完成度是……0%。

视野左上方，最后一个格子已经见底，还闪烁着淡淡的红色，这是懒神在提醒他，需要补充能量了。

如果能量耗尽，南冥又会被吸收存在感，他可不知道这次还能不能补回来，要是就此消失了，他找谁说理去？

而且，懒神赋予他的新能力“强化”，也需要消耗能量。

“陈所！”小李敲门而入，虽然满心的不愿，但陈所召唤，给他十个胆子他也不敢不来。

“嗯，这小子跳楼的笔录整理好了没有？”陈伟满脸严肃地问道。

南冥跳楼的笔录可是大杀器，拿来威胁他最好了。

小李瞥了一眼懒洋洋躺在沙发上的南冥，低声说：“陈……陈所，已经整理完了。”

“整理完还不赶快拿给我？”陈伟一板脸，小李吓得连忙一个立正。

看到自己的威风依旧，陈伟这才挽回了一点从南冥身上得来的挫败感，得意地看向南冥，结果这小子事不关己的样子，正在那里闭目假寐呢。

陈伟心头火起，恨不得狠狠揍这小子一顿。

看到小李转身想要去拿笔录，陈伟又叫住他：“我看你们一堆人在下面，搞什么呢？”

小李张口结舌，不知道怎么回答，南冥心中也暗暗叫苦，早知道就不在跟着表哥回来时，拿车座当试验品，实验自己的“强化”能力了。

没想到“强化”的能力，竟然这么强！

强化，由懒神赋予南冥的特殊能力，它可以强化物品本身的属性。

回来的路上，南冥坐在副驾驶，手贱对着座椅用了一次强化能力，结果就是现在这样了。

给人以超乎想象舒服体验的座椅，确实给南冥提供了很多满足感，他最后那点能量，全都是靠这些满足感补足的。

其实，南冥倒不介意把超能力这事告诉陈伟，他“懒癌”这段时间，陈伟可没少为他操心。

“懒癌”时陈伟不曾远离他，他相信现在“懒神”了，陈伟也不会背叛他。

但现在一个车座引起了这么大风波，南冥觉得还是小心点为妙。

“陈所。”听到陈伟问，小李终于还是忍不住问道：“陈所您什么时候换了副驾驶的座椅了吗？怎么变得那么舒服了？”

“座椅？座椅什么鬼？”陈伟完全不了解，满脸的难以置信：“你们这群人，大中午的不睡午觉，在太阳底下晒着，就是为了坐坐我的副驾驶座？”

啥时候，他的副驾驶这么金贵了？不过就是一辆普通的桑塔纳3000警车而已，虽然比派出所其他两辆早该淘汰的普桑车况好点，可也不至于那么夸张啊？

看到这俩人面面相觑，南冥觉得超搞笑，在旁边忍不住闷笑起来。

“你笑什么笑……”陈伟虽然是派出所所长，但他是正儿八经的刑侦高手出身，刚才南冥坐在那座椅上，此时一回想，心中生疑。

小李也早就有所觉，两个人同时转脸看向了南冥。

“你小子刚才搞了什么鬼？”陈伟问南冥。

“嗯……”南冥终于想到了一个说得过去的理由，“你们听过钢琴调律师吧。”

“怎么？”

“那你们听过座椅调节师吗？”