Chapter 54

When An Ning woke up, the light in the living room had been turned off. He was lying on the sofa with a thick woolen blanket wrapped around him. When he opened his eyes, except for his head, even his neck was buried under the blanket. The floor heating was still on, so he was sweating when he slept, and he was practically awakened due to the heat.

Qin Weihang wasn’t here. He thought that Qin Weihang went back to the guest room to sleep. He pulled off the blanket and sat up, only to see light coming from the direction of the terrace. Qin Weihang was sitting alone on the terrace steps, the hood of the down jacket was pulled up and covered his head.

The light on the terrace was not much brighter than the moonlight. An Ning looked at Qin Weihang’s slender and wide back with an illusion, as if he would turn back into a big black panther in the next second, its athletic body stretching charmingly under the moonlight.

He picked up the phone on the coffee table and checked the time—it was already past 3 a.m. An Ning stood up and went out. As soon as the door opened, Qin Weihang heard the movement and turned his head to look over.

The hood of Qin Weihang’s down jacket was pulled up; the rim of the hood was a ring of warm mink fur, and those soft, long, and fine fur were swaying in the night. Hidden in the shadows was Qin Weihang’s gaze, which was as cold as the plains of Siberia, but was as clean as an ignorant wolf—it was too bewitching.

“It’s already so late, why are you still not sleeping?” An Ning walked out and immediately felt the coolness of the courtyard.

Qin Weihang turned his head and said, “Couldn’t sleep.”

An Ning walked to him, sat down, and said: “Then let’s chat.”

Qin Weihang tilted his head and looked him up and down: “Woken up?”

An Ning nodded, embarrassed.

Qin Weihang lowered his head and grabbed a can of beer from next to him, but he did not drink it. He just held it in his hand, and with a click, lift it open. He said: “You said you were not sleepy, but in the end, you slept and left me all alone.”

An Ning said with remorse: “You could’ve woken me up…”

“I did.”

“Huh?” An Ning blinked, “Really?”

“Why would I lie to you?” Qin Weihang glanced from the corner of his eyes at the person who was poking out his head and looking at him. The reaction made him unable to control himself from raising his eyebrow, “I called you several times, but I can’t do anything about it if you don’t wake up.”

This made An Ning even more embarrassed: “I may have been insanely tired…” Then he asked again, “Was the finale LOTUS?”

Qin Weihang nodded.

“What did they sing?”

“I don’t remember the title of the song.” Qin Weihang turned the can with both hands and looked at the distance in the courtyard. “I only remember one line.”

“What is it?”

“I wish it is love.”

An Ning laughed: “This is the title of the song.”

Yet you said you weren’t a fan. Qin Weihang looked at him with somewhat tipsy eyes and a half-smile. He wanted to say, “I might go to their concerts in the future, so can I call you to go with me when the time comes,” but it doesn’t seem very appropriate.

Two people sat under the empty night sky. An Ning once again thought of Zhong Jing who was in a wheelchair. He couldn’t ignore it, so he asked carefully: “Can I ask why your teacher…is like this?”

Qin Weihang didn’t want to tell anyone about that accident. Whenever people asked, it was like a thorn that would always prick him without warning. However, maybe this night was too tender, and that look was too gentle, so he felt as if the thorn was soft.

This was the first time in many years that he had recalled the scene so carefully—how Zhong Jing fell in front of his eyes, and how he waited for the rescue team to arrive in both fear and confusion. However, the most terrifying scene actually happened in the hospital. It was when the doctor told them that Zhong Jing might not be able to walk anymore. At the time, he really thought that if he could exchange his own legs with Zhong Jing’s, then that would be great. If he could get Zhong Jing to stand up again, no matter what they want him to do, he’ll do it…

When he spoke of these, the gaze from next to him remained passive and gentle. When he talked about those bloody moments, those days of desperation and extreme fear, those eyes will also be stung. He felt as if it was the opposite—it was him who was holding the thorn and stabbing an innocent little animal. No matter how sharp the thorn was, because the animal was too soft, it would feel it all.

But he felt that the other party was quietly pulling out his thorn, and was also afraid of hurting him. If he frowned and grunted, this person might feel even more pain compared to him.

An Ning was silent for a long time after listening, then he said softly: “So afterward, you have been all alone.”

Qin Weihang did not speak and took a sip of beer in silence. He has never told anyone about this, because he has never expected anything from others. The guilt can only be carried by himself, and he was willing to bear it. This was already the lowest level of punishment. Yet today, he seemed to have become fragile, too eager to be comforted—to be comforted by this person.

An Ning didn’t know what to say to comfort the other party. Should he say that it wasn’t his fault? But this would just remind Qin Weihang repeatedly that it was his fault. Or should he say that he understood him? But he was not the involved party. Can he really empathize by merely relying on Qin Weihang’s succinct words alone?

He thought hard, very hard, and then thought of a way that could give Qin Weihang even a bare minimum of comfort:

“Do you still remember that time when I talked about my dad when giving you a supplementary lesson?”

Qin Weihang looked at him.

“He only stayed in jail for one year, and later he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then he passed away after half a year on parole.” An Ning said, “Then I went to my mother. My parents divorced very early; I was only five years old at the time. When I was young, I remembered that my mom still came to see me often, but after entering middle school, she came less often. Later, I learned that she had her own family. After my dad passed away, I went to her place. Actually…I was afraid that she would not want me, but she still accepted me. Although…I still miss my dad very much. I thought it was better for me and my dad to depend on each other so that I don’t have to disturb my mom’s new life.”

If he couldn’t think of any comforting words, then he can just use himself to comfort him. Let him know that he was not alone, just like in that song ‘The Rooftop’, that sang “You said your heart can’t beat anymore, so I’ll show you my wounds.”

[*TN: I couldn’t find the song. Might be made up, or maybe I didn’t look hard enough lol.]

The original intention was to comfort Qin Weihang, but the more he spoke, the more sad he was. He had a good childhood, and also had a loved one that cared for him and loved him.

“After my dad passed away, I always felt that no one in this world really needed me.”

… He actually said it. He had never said this to anyone or even dared to say it in his heart, but when Qin Weihang said that it was his fault that Zhong Jing could no longer stand, he felt that his wound had also been opened.

Qin Weihang was sitting next to him, listening silently. An Ning did not remember what he said, perhaps it was some self-defeating words. He suddenly heard Qin Weihang reply with a: “… How can that be, you are so cute.”

He thought he had heard wrong, so he looked at Qin Weihang, dumbfounded. Qin Weihang’s eyes were slightly tipsy—it seemed like he was finally a little drunk. Qin Weihang accepted his gaze more calmly than usual, put his hand on his long curved legs, and said to him, “Really, you are the cutest boy I’ve ever seen.” He smiled, and the hand on his knee suddenly raised. An Ning’s eyes widened as he saw the hand stretch out and being placed behind his head, rubbing it. The owner of the hand said teasingly, “Mushroom-headed Little Frog.”

This was the first time An Ning felt the wideness and strength of Qin Weihang’s palm so personally. That hand rubbed his head, but it seemed to dominate his body from top to bottom. For a fleeting moment, he looked at Qin Weihang’s bright and deep eyes, feeling like he was about to suffocate. What does he mean? Was this kind of behavior because he was drunk, or does it have any special meaning…

“You are not a mushroom-headed little frog anymore,” Qin Weihang said. He approached him and looked at his eyes, “You are an animal with beautiful eyes.”

After speaking, he retracted his hand and lay back on the terrace, muttering childishly, “The man who invented contact lenses is a genius,” and closed his eyes as if pleased.

So it was this kind of consoling. Qin Weihang closed his eyes, feeling the alcohol in his stomach turn into a burst of heat, warming his limbs. No one had ever comforted him like this. I talked to him about my scars, and he showed me his wounds. They were secrets, but they were now no longer secrets. How great—all the pain was accepted in an instant, because what was found out fell evenly on the shoulders of you and me. And after sharing them with you, they turned from pain into treasure.

There were no more movements, only the buzzing of insects in the night. An Ning looked at Qin Weihang, who was lying calmly on the ground. Qin Weihang’s right hand that rubbed his hair was now resting below his chest, which should be his stomach. He whispered: “Qin Weihang?…Qin Weihang?”

The tall and handsome panther spirit fell asleep. An Ning’s throat tugged, and with an unspeakable emotion, he gently lay back, being careful not to touch Qin Weihang. He lied side by side on the terrace with him. Over their heads was the cold winter night sky. He looked at the brightest lone star for a long time before he gathered the courage to turn his head and look at Qin Weihang that was sleeping next to him. The hood of his down jacket drooped back. The beautiful curves of Qin Weihang’s forehead and somewhat arrogant and high nose bridge were in full view under the moonlight, dyed in an intoxicating purple.

An Ning didn’t fall asleep; he couldn’t fall asleep anymore. Moreover, the terrace was too cold, so he lay down for a while and sat back up. He called out to Qin Weihang again. Qin Weihang ignored him and turned aside, turning his back to him. An Ning leaned over and patted him on the shoulder, then said, “It’s too cold, let’s go inside to sleep.”

Qin Weihang remained motionless. An Ning sat there not knowing what to do, looking at his back and saying helplessly to himself: “If only I could carry you in…”

It’s unfortunate that you are too tall and heavy. Why are you so tall and heavy, Qin Weihang…

He was somewhat at a loss, so he got up and went back to the room. He went to the bathroom to take off the contact lenses, then he grabbed the blanket on the sofa and put it on Qin Weihang, and then he lay down beside him. Forget it, I’ll accompany you to catch a cold.

Blushing, he pulled up a corner of the blanket and put it over his waist. He whispered to Qin Weihang’s back, “Sorry, it’s too cold, and there is only this wool blanket.”

The length of the blanket was not enough, so he had to move closer to Qin Weihang. Qin Weihang’s down jacket was open. After turning over, his hood dropped to the side and the jacket was unzipped, which exposed the black round-neck sweater that was inside, as well as his bare nape. An Ning stared at Qin Weihang’s clean neck; at the weakly pushed ends of his hair that were bluish-green. One could imagine how smoothly and gently his broad shoulders were holding up the black sweater. The blanket was placed on the shoulders of two people like a suspension bridge. Qin Weihang’s back was empty, but if he got closer, he would be sticking to Qin Weihang’s back, which was very improper.

An Ning put both his hands outside the blanket and looked up at the sky, thinking, am I being particularly obvious? My selfishness is too obvious. I already decided that I cannot take advantage of others, but I can’t leave him alone and go to the living room to sleep by myself… He continued feeling troubled that he ended up falling asleep afterward; on the chilly terrace, with the person he liked.

In the early morning the next day, Zhong Jing got up after a good sleep. When he passed the balcony, he suddenly saw two boys lying on the terrace with a ghastly expression on his face. What was wrong with young people nowadays. They don’t sleep in a room, but they have to sleep outside. Was there something wrong with them?

The wheelchair moved to the balcony, and he shouted below: “Qin Weihang?! Qin Weihang?!”

Qin Weihang woke up with a sore waist and backache. He sat up and saw An Ning sleeping next to him. He heard Zhong Jing asking him on the third floor balcony: “What are you guys doing?!”

Qin Weihang rubbed his sore neck, then looked at An Ning who was sleeping with his body recoiling behind him. Without raising his head, he said, “I don’t know.”

“What?” Zhong Jing didn’t hear him.

Qin Weihang raised his head and stared at him, raising his volume: “Nothing.”

Zhong Jing shook his head helplessly.

Qin Weihang bowed his head and called An Ning twice. An Ning opened his eyes in pain. He felt cold and uncomfortable. Then he felt Qin Weihang’s hand rest on his forehead.

It stayed there for a while, then he retracted it and asked him: “Why are you sleeping here?”

An Ning got up with difficulty, and said hoarsely, “I just wanted to lie down for a while, but fell asleep in a daze…”

Qin Weihang put the blanket on him and said, “You brought this blanket, right? Why didn’t you go inside and sleep?”

An Ning was taken aback, thinking that Qin Weihang had drank and probably forgot everything about the conversation last night, so he had to say: “I originally wanted to accompany you to drink and chat, so I brought the blanket…”

Qin Weihang furrowed his eyebrows lightly, looking at him silently. After a moment, he loosened his brows and said, “Your face is really red.”

An Ning felt diffident—who asked for my face to be such a disappointment.

Qin Weihang stood up on his knees and said, “Come in and take a fever-reducing medicine.”

An Ning followed him dizzily. Qin Weihang opened the terrace door and said, “In the future, you don’t need to care where I sleep. I’ve slept in the wild so I’m used to it.”

An Ning secretly scolded himself for being such a bookworm, or he might have been brain-damaged by love, which was why he did all these silly things. It turned out that it was true that the IQ of a person in love will drop. What physique does he even have to compete with Qin Weihang? He felt that his IQ was about to become negative due to Qin Weihang.

An Ning was already feeling a bit painful when eating breakfast, and his nose was so stuffed that he couldn’t breathe. Zhong Jing was both angry and amused. Even if Qin Weihang messed around like this, why did the top student also follow him? Was it true that getting close to ink will turn one black?* The fighting power of Qin Weihang’s ink was truly strong, and he had a whole set of good students turning bad.

[*TN: This is the second half of an idiom. It means getting close to bad people will also turn you bad.]

Qin Weihang quickly finished his breakfast, stood up and said, “Let’s go back first.” He said to An Ning, “If you can’t eat, then don’t eat.”

Zhong Jing gave him the car key: “Drive my car to go back.”

An Ning was thinking that he was really causing trouble for others, so his face was full of guilt.

Qin Weihang glanced at him, took his jacket and put it on his shoulders, then said, “No need, we’ll take a taxi back.”

Zhong Jing said, “Won’t it take long to get down there?”

Qin Weihang turned around and asked An Ning, “Can you go?”

An Ning nodded immediately, and said to Zhong Jing: “It’s fine, teacher.”

His voice was already like this, why was he acting so tough for? Zhong Jing shook his head, but the two people really cooperated in a tacit understanding, and he couldn’t even get a word in. Alas, they can be considered a good match.

Leaving the villa, An Ning could feel that Qin Weihang was walking surprisingly slow. He used to walk in front of him, but this time he was walking beside him. They seemed to have been walking for a long time before they reached the gate of Lantian County. After getting in the taxi, An Ning told the driver the address. Qin Weihang closed the door and said to the driver: “Can you close the window? It’s a bit cold.”

The front and rear windows were all rolled up, and An Ning watched Qin Weihang lean on the back of the chair with a rustling sound. This time, Qin Weihang’s parted long legs leaned against his leg without evasiveness, and he didn’t avoid it either.

When approaching school, An Ning took out his phone in advance. Qin Weihang glanced at him and said, “What are you doing?”

An Ning said with a hoarse voice, “I will pay the fare this time.”

Qin Weihang looked at him. From the down jacket, he took out his phone from the pocket and patted it on An Ning’s hand: “Then you pay. The payment password is 123123.”

An Ning did not expect Qin Weihang to tell the payment password and was stunned while holding the iPhone.

Qin Weihang then took the phone back and said, “I lied.” He opened the WeChat interface and said, “Don’t be polite with me, okay?”

As if bewitched by his plain tone, An Ning nodded involuntarily. Qin Weihang turned his head and looked out the car window.