Chapter 30

00030 Why are you doing that? =========================================================================

"After finding the cabin, you went out to check the surroundings for a while, right? While you were gone, we talked about you."

"What did you talk about?"

"We talked about the other survivors we met today. Remember when a man threw a dagger at Unjeong? And you shot an arrow to hit the man's hand, right?"

At Hanbyeol's words, I silently nodded my head. At that time, I had assumed the worst-case scenario. If Yoojeong and Seonyu had fought to the death, we would have certainly lost a few people without revealing my true strength. That's why I was prepared to take out one of them first if necessary.

"And Anhyun blocked the dagger with his shield."

"Right."

"Everyone is praising Anhyun, saying he's amazing and grateful. But do you know what they're saying about your actions today?"

"..."

I had a vague idea of what she was going to say, but I didn't want to hear it. However, before I could speak, Hanbyeol started talking.

"Everyone is pretending not to say anything, but they're clearly shocked. Ansol was even on the verge of tears, saying she was scared. Anhyun and Yoojeong also looked quite shaken. And they're not happy that you spoke so directly to that woman today."

"Hmm. I see."

When I calmly nodded, Hanbyeol looked taken aback.

"It's not just 'I see.' Don't you feel wronged? You did it to protect your sister, and they just passed the blame to you. Don't you think they don't have the right to say such things?"

Is that so? I must have been too deep in thought to notice the change in the atmosphere. I felt a bit hurt, but I didn't want to take it too seriously. After all, once we enter the Hollow Plain, they might have to kill people sooner or later.

Hanbyeol, frustrated by my calm expression, continued in a soothing tone.

"You always worry and think by yourself. You try to take on the heavy burdens alone. Of course, I know you don't have any bad intentions."

"Maybe there's a misunderstanding. Just a moment—"

"I'm not making an issue out of the misunderstanding. As I said before, your judgment has always been reliable. I think so too."

At Hanbyeol's words, I felt a weight lift from my heart. After leaving the city, I often saw her staring at me intently, especially when we were discussing what to do next. I had brushed it off as nothing, but it seems I was caught by Hanbyeol today.

"That's not true. We—"

"Brother, speak more casually."

Interrupting me, Hanbyeol made me stumble. Her round eyes were looking at me with a discontented expression.

"Uh, okay?"

"Speak informally. You're casual with everyone else, so why not with me?"

"...Alright."

For a moment, I felt my resolve waver. Me, the 10-year user of the Hollow Plain...

Let's stop. Whenever I see Hanbyeol, I think of Hanyoung, and my heart wavers. It's not just her charisma; the atmosphere when I first met her was similar to someone else.

I cleared my throat and continued what I was going to say.

"I don't always make the decisions. You, me, Hyun, and Sol—we all put our heads together and think."

"Don't lie. At least you didn't include Yoojeong. You have some conscience, right?"

"Hyun worked harder than me, didn't he? He was amazing in the fight with the monkeys today."

"There you go again. It might work with Anhyun and Yoojeong, but not with me. Don't try to change the subject. Anhyun and I barely managed to take down two of them. You handled two on your own and even helped Yoojeong in her fight."

Hanbyeol's words hit a nerve. She's definitely similar. I couldn't help but respect her. Maybe she was observing me all along. She must have come prepared.

I sighed inwardly. I decided to listen a bit more and, if it didn't work out, I would be more direct.

"It's always been like that. In the forest, in the city, and even when we met those strangers today. Usually, you step back, but when it's really dangerous, you always step up. If we consider ourselves a team, you're the one leading us, the pillar, not Anhyun. That's why I was upset. Why do you have to hear such things?"

'Are you thinking about me?'

"I don't think so. Anhyun is definitely great. He's proactive, decisive, and bold. But I don't think you need to think too deeply about this. After all, we're all leaders, and cooperation is what's important in this rite of passage."

"Stop it. Why are you doing this?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to say."

Even as I said I didn't understand, I felt a prick in my heart. I couldn't bear to look into Hanbyeol's calm, cold eyes. A chill emanated from her, making me feel as if a cold wind was blowing. It was that intense.

"Don't lie! The one who really decides and takes the lead is you, Suhyun! You leave the easy, obvious tasks to Anhyun and handle the difficult ones silently. Why do people only praise Anhyun and fear you, who does all the hard work? And why do you try so hard to hide it?"

"You—"

"If this continues, you'll act the same way in the same situation again. And there's a possibility that the same situation will repeat. The important thing is that we all rely on you a lot, even if we don't say it. No one will object. So, please be our team leader. When there are difficult problems, whether you think alone or discuss together, please act together. If you're the leader, everyone will follow you without complaint."

Hanbyeol was almost pleading with me. Honestly, I was still a bit bewildered. If the person in front of me were Yoojeong, I would have laughed it off, thinking it was her usual personality. But I couldn't figure out Hanbyeol. I was still trying to understand why she brought this up to me.

The standoff continued, and the morning chill seeped into our bodies. However, Hanbyeol didn't seem to have any intention of leaving. Or rather, she didn't plan to let me go until she got an answer.

I bit my lip and slowly opened my mouth.

"I—"

*

The morning of the sixth day arrived. Anhyun, who had just finished his last watch, woke everyone up and started preparing to leave. He looked tired, stretching his sore joints. I had barely slept, but my body wasn't fatigued from missing one night's sleep.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

I offered a bright morning greeting. Ansol, startled by my words, bowed her head nervously and quickly ran away. In the past, I would have laughed it off, thinking she was just shy, but seeing her like this in person made me feel a bitter smile.

Anhyun, noticing Ansol's behavior, scolded her for bowing so rudely to her "big brother." She bowed her head even lower and sniffled. Behind her, Yoojeong approached and comforted her. Watching the two of them bicker, Ansol looked at a loss.

I took a step back and quietly observed the scene. It was warm. Truly warm. They looked like a family of three siblings. Their presence was so warm and harmonious that it made me forget this was a hellish rite of passage.

But I didn't have a place among them. I knew this better than anyone. We were fundamentally different. When I had killed a hundred users in the past, I had this thought. Maybe I wasn't human anymore. Perhaps I had forgotten myself in their embrace.

'If someone who knew me before saw me now, they would faint.'

I chuckled at the self-deprecating thought. Recalling my dark past, the atmosphere seemed to turn gloomy. Anhyun, oblivious to my mood, walked over with a smile. From behind, Yoojeong was grumbling, suggesting that Anhyun had won the morning argument.

"Brother, we should reach that warp gate or something today, right?"

"...Yeah."

"Then let's get there quickly. This might be our last breakfast here, so why don't we have a hearty meal? You should eat a lot too, brother."

I smiled weakly at Anhyun's cheerful suggestion and shook my head to decline.

"No, I'm fine. You guys eat."

"But—"

"I have a habit of not eating before important days. It helps me stay alert."

Anhyun nodded reluctantly and turned to Hanbyeol. She was still staring into space with a cold expression. I suddenly remembered our conversation this morning.

"Hanbyeol, are you eating—"

"I'm not."

"Huh? But—"

"I'm not."

Hanbyeol cut Anhyun off with a short reply. Ansol, surprised by the unexpected scene, fidgeted with her fingers. Anhyun, looking awkward, glanced between me and Hanbyeol and scratched his head, embarrassed. Yoojeong, watching from behind, didn't dare to go against the current mood and spoke in a much more subdued voice than usual.

"Ahaha... Then we'll eat by ourselves."

"Well, we have no choice. We'll have more to eat. Haha... Brother, Hanbyeol, are you really not eating...?"

Naturally, there was no response from Hanbyeol and me. Even Yoojeong, usually confident, seemed shocked by our reaction, her mouth hanging open in surprise. I felt Hanbyeol's gaze on me, but I refused to turn my head, avoiding her eyes. The atmosphere grew even colder.

The lively morning of the sixth day.

That morning started with three people watching the reactions of two others.

============================ Author's Note ============================

1. Typos and context corrections.