Chapter 28

Carrying the Black Bear Spirit back to the Guanyin Zen Temple, Tang Sen, as usual, rode on the back of the White Dragon Horse, while Sun Wukong flew beside them on a cloud.

Everyone was silent, still not having recovered from the events that had just taken place.

As they flew, Tang Sen suddenly had a thought: That’s not right. The Great Thunderclap Temple wants me to marry Rula, and they could have just flown me there to get married as soon as possible. Why did Sister Guanyin tell me I could only ride a bicycle? From the tone of Sister Guanyin, Rula is not young and should be eager to get married. Is it really good for me to take a few years to slowly walk to the West?

There seems to be a hint of conspiracy here...

Although Tang Sen himself didn’t plan to fly directly to the West and happily marry Rula, he didn’t like being involved in a conspiracy. He took out his phone and called Sister Guanyin. The number was one he had gotten during their last heart-to-heart talk, and it came in handy now: "Hey, Sister Guanyin, I need to talk to you."

"What’s up? I’m busy right now," came a very rough, middle-aged man’s voice from the phone, but it referred to itself as "this girl." The stark contrast almost made Tang Sen spit out his water.

Tang Sen shouted into the phone, "Hey, is something wrong? What are you up to now?"

"This girl is driving a truck to earn... cough... this girl is transforming into a Dharma body to save the world. Speak quickly, don’t interfere with this girl’s work."

Tang Sen didn’t care what she was doing and asked seriously, "Hey, Rula is eager to get married, right?"

"Right!"

"Then why don’t you use magic to fly me directly to the West, and why can’t I take a plane or a train, but only ride a bicycle? Is there some deep conspiracy here?" Tang Sen asked.

Sister Guanyin huffed, "There’s no conspiracy at all, none whatsoever! Everything in the world has its destiny. If you want to marry Rula, you can only ride a bicycle slowly to the West. You mustn’t use any other method, or you will violate the will of heaven, disrupt the marriage, and fail to achieve enlightenment."

"Don’t give me that nonsense, speak in plain language."

"Alright, you want to know the truth, right?"

"Yes!"

"Hmph, since we’re good friends, I’ll tell you the inside story..." Sister Guanyin pouted, "Do you know how many gods and Buddhas are in the West? Hmph, three thousand Buddhas, three thousand Bodhisattvas, eight Vajras, four Bodhisattvas, five hundred Arhats, eight hundred Bhikshus, a large number of Upasakas, Bhikshunis, and Upasikas... How many people is that? Do you think it’s easy to get all of them to agree to your marriage with Rula?"

Tang Sen: "Hey, what does that have to do with me? I never planned to marry her; I just wanted to go to the Great Thunderclap Temple to take a look."

Sister Guanyin said, "But they don’t know that. They think you’re going to marry Rula, so they want to test your character and see if you’re suitable for Rula. So they first make you travel eighty thousand miles to test your perseverance, and then arrange eighty-one trials to test your abilities..."

Tang Sen huffed, "In short, you’re just messing with me, right?"

"Right... cough... no, how could we be messing with you? We are very serious about choosing a husband for Rula." Sister Guanyin called out, "Oh, the traffic police are checking for overloading... damn... I have to go, I’m busy..."

The call ended, and Tang Sen was speechless.

Alright, I don’t care what those people in the West are thinking. I originally planned to travel the world by bicycle anyway. Whether Rula marries or not is none of my business; I just want to see her. Tang Sen put the matter out of his mind...

The three returned to the Guanyin Zen Temple, packed their luggage, and the White Dragon Horse transformed into a bicycle. They left the temple and got back on the road. The Black Bear Spirit was carried on Lin Bai’s back. She seemed to have resigned herself to her fate, remaining silent and motionless, like a regular teddy bear.

Tang Sen smiled, "Hey, Miss Bear, what’s your name? Let’s introduce ourselves so we can call each other by name in the future."

"My master used to call me Peanut," the Black Bear Spirit said. "She said my head is big and my body is round, like a giant peanut, so she named me Peanut... sigh, but this time, she forgot..."

Tang Sen recalled that when the woman saw the Black Bear Spirit again, she seemed to say, "What’s this bear’s name? Panpan? Wangwang? Xiongxiong? Oh, I can’t remember..."

"She mentioned three names, none of which were mine," the Black Bear Spirit said, starting to feel sad again.

Tang Sen, holding the bicycle handle with his left hand, reached back with his right hand and patted the Black Bear Spirit’s round head, "Don’t be sad. I won’t forget your name. I’ll call you Peanut, and you can call me Tang Sen."

"Calling you by your name sounds bad," the Black Bear Spirit said. "I’ll call you Brother Tang Sen."

"Hey, what’s wrong with my name?" Tang Sen was sweating.

"Tang Sen sounds a lot like Tang Seng, a monk from the Tang Dynasty... it sounds like a monk..."

Tang Sen was speechless. There was no point in arguing with this nameless plush bear. He took out his phone and called his mother, "Hey, Mom, do you know where my favorite Transformers and plastic toy soldiers are?"

"Of course!" his mother laughed over the phone. "They’re on Mom’s bedside table. Mom loves Xiaosen’s toys and sleeps with them every night..."

Tang Sen was sweating, "Hey, what are you doing? Sleeping with my toys, what’s that about?"

"It’s all your fault for not letting Mom sleep with you."

Tang Sen covered his face, "There’s no point in arguing with you, Mom. I’m hanging up... Oh, right, take good care of those toys. When I come back, I want to love them like I did when I was a child."

Mom laughed, "Xiaosen, you should also love Mom like you did when you were a child. Let’s take baths and sleep together again."

"No way!" Tang Sen hung up the phone.

"Hey, are you a mom’s boy?" Sun Wukong, who had clearly heard the call, said in a scared tone, "If you are, I’ll stay far away from you. That’s disgusting."

The Black Bear Spirit also said seriously, "Mom’s boys are scary. I’ll stay far away from you."

Even the usually obedient White Dragon Horse said, "Brother Tang Sen, if you are a mom’s boy, please let me know. I can find a lake to live in and won’t carry you to the West anymore."

"It’s not true!" Tang Sen shouted. "It’s my mom who’s a son’s mom. She keeps making unreasonable demands. Are your ears upside down? Focus on the key points."

The White Dragon Horse said softly, "A single mother and her son depending on each other, I can understand her wanting to sleep with her son. It’s probably because she’s lonely... It’s your own dirty thoughts that make you afraid to sleep with your mom."

"Exactly, it’s your own dirty thoughts. How dare you say your mom is a son’s mom," Sun Wukong mocked.

The Black Bear Spirit shivered, "Mom’s boys are scary... Hey? I’m a plush toy, why do I feel cold?"

Tang Sen, being mocked by them in turn, fell silent and thought to himself: Am I really dirty-minded? Could I really be a mom’s boy?

A picture of his mother walking around the living room in sexy lingerie suddenly flashed in his mind, and he curled up on the bicycle. Damn, I’m definitely a bit abnormal. No, this can’t go on. I need to get married quickly to calm down.

Just then!

"Be careful... someone is trying to harm you!" Sun Wukong suddenly shouted and pushed Tang Sen off the bicycle.