Chapter 27

Tan paused in the middle of the night garden. He had received the report, but this was certainly troublesome.

A woman in white was huddled on the garden bench. Just by seeing her golden hair flowing like clouds, Tan knew who she was.

"Your Majesty."

When he called out, Rudia lifted her head. Tan shrugged.

"What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

"I couldn't sleep."

After a pause, Rudia sighed.

"I thought a walk might be better than drinking strong liquor."

Tan approached her but stopped at a respectful distance. Rudia muttered.

"But it didn't help much, so I just sat here."

"Would you like me to bring you a drink?"

Rudia waved her hand.

"I'm trying to quit."

The summer night was cool, and the scents in the garden were more intense than during the day. With his superior wolf sense of smell, Tan could distinguish all the fragrances.

Roses, poppies, acacia, night-blooming jasmine, dahlias, and the scent of skin.

Tan exhaled deeply and said.

"Why can't you sleep?"

He had the duty to either send her back to her room or guard her if she was noticed.

"Because of what happened today. Actually, I'm afraid of fire."

Rudia's voice was calm, but she tightly gripped her crossed arms. Her voice trembled.

"So I thought I might have nightmares. But I don't want to have them, so I can't sleep."

"To His Majesty—"

"Would you tell Altair about my weakness?"

Rudia glared at him and pouted. She was more worried about having nightmares and saying something in her sleep.

I don't want to die. If someone hears me saying that, it would be a disaster.

She snorted, and Tan was at a loss for words. He scratched his cheek.

"Still, um, between husband and wife—"

"There are things that can't be done even between husband and wife. We fit each other well, and I think we're perfect in that sense. But that's all."

She didn't want to rely on him, only to use him. Relying was dangerous.

She always ended up failing when she relied on someone. She had to do it on her own.

By herself.

With her own strength.

She bowed her head.

"I get anxious because of Lirika."

Tan frowned.

"I think Princess Lirika is a good person by nature."

A low laugh escaped her.

"That's the problem."

There was no response. Tan was worried she might be crying. How do you comfort a crying woman?

He could give his kin a piece of candy, but Rudia was different.

Rudia took a deep breath.

She had to take responsibility for Lirika on her own.

Lirika is a wonderful child, and she has changed her.

Rudia was doing her best for Lirika, but she wasn't sure if it was the right best.

She was afraid.

Afraid that she might ruin Lirika. Afraid that she might teach her daughter the wrong things when she could do better.

She should let go and entrust her to the best teachers...

"But today—"

Her daughter had only cried. She felt like a failure and wanted to grab someone and ask what to do.

She needed someone to confide in.

But there was no one.

She was alone.

Alone, she had to figure it out somehow, somehow.

To not ruin her daughter.

To protect her daughter from everyone.

To protect them from the wolves.

Rudia lifted her head. Tan was surprised. He thought she would be crying, but she wasn't at all.

Her composed face was beautiful, but for some reason, he felt sad.

Rudia stood up.

"If I keep doing this, Sir Tan, you'll be in trouble. I'll go back inside now."

Tan shook his head at Rudia's words.

"Do as you wish, Your Majesty. I'll just follow."

Rudia laughed lightly. She stopped and stared up at the Sun Palace, counting the rooms where her daughter would be sleeping.

She had promised to sleep with her, but being rejected was quite a shock.

She sighed again and slowly moved her steps.

* * *

Lirika couldn't sleep and suddenly sat up in bed.

She felt anxious and scared.

The large bed and the high canopy only made her feel lonely tonight.

Lirika got down from the high bed and approached the window. When she opened it, a thick floral scent rose. She leaned on the windowsill and took a deep breath, but it didn't feel refreshing.

She found herself looking at the garden.

For some reason, she felt like if she ran to that maze garden, Fjord would be there. Talking to him would make her feel better.

But she shouldn't.

Lirika closed the window and paced around like a trapped animal.

She felt suffocated and distressed.

Her aunt was safe, and His Majesty had promised to protect her. There was nothing lacking.

Lirika finally rushed out of the room. If she went out directly, Brin or Raub would notice, so she used the servant passage as before.

The corridor was dark and scary, but her distress was greater than her fear. She ran down the short corridor and entered the Black Dragon Room through the servant passage, opening the bedroom door.

Attil, who was lying in bed, sat up abruptly and, seeing Lirika panting, asked in surprise.

"What is it? What happened?"

As soon as he got out of bed, Lirika ran to him and hugged him tightly. Attil raised his head.

Through the open servant passage, Brin and Raub peeked in.

They had been watching where their mistress was going. Attil gestured for them to leave, and they bowed and carefully closed the door.

"Why are you like this? Hmm?"

Attil tried to speak as gently as possible, seeing Lirika clinging to him desperately.

"Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay? Or can't you sleep again?"

He suggested several possibilities, but Lirika only shook her head.

"Aunt is safe, and everything will be fine. As you said, Uncle will protect you..."

Lirika hugged him even tighter. Attil paused for a moment before asking her.

"Do you dislike Uncle?"

"No, no, I don't."

Lirika finally spoke. Attil felt frustrated but tried to be patient.

"Then why are you like this?"

"..."

Lirika stepped back silently. Seeing her dejected face, Attil held back his urge to press further.

He, too, had emotions he couldn't express.

"Come here."

Instead, he opened his arms again, and Lirika burst into tears and hugged him.

"There, there."

Attil gently stroked her back. Her small back trembled, and her shoulders shook as she sobbed.

Her stifled sobs made Attil frown, but he didn't say anything.

After a while, Lirika spoke softly.

"Mom... mom..."

"Yeah."

"What if mom leaves me...?"

After saying that, Lirika started crying again. Attil was taken aback.

Rudia's affection for Lirika was obvious to everyone. Why would she leave her?

"Don't say that, Aunt won't leave you. That's ridiculous."

"But, but—"

Now she's useless.

Her mother was so beautiful that she could leave Lirika at any time. So Lirika worked hard, earned money, and protected her mother.

If I'm a bit more useful, if I work a bit harder.

If I'm needed.

Then mom won't leave. She'll love me.

But now His Majesty is here, and His Majesty is protecting her. Then there's no place for Lirika.

Now she's useless.

Would her mother keep a useless child? Would she no longer be loved?

Attil said, "That's not true," but he was at a loss for what to do. It was a difficult problem for him to solve.

At that moment, the servant passage opened again. Attil looked up and widened his eyes.

His hand, which had been stroking her back, stopped. Lirika continued to cry, unaware.

Then a cool hand stroked her head.

"Lirika, can I talk to mom for a moment? Okay?"

Lirika was startled and turned around. There stood Rudia in casual attire.

She had met Brin on her way back and immediately come here.

"Mom, are you okay? Can't you sleep?"

Stammering, Lirika asked about her mother's well-being first. Rudia felt like crying.

She held back her tears and cupped Lirika's cheeks with both hands.

"Lirika, you've been protecting mom all this time. Thank you, Lirika. I'm sorry I didn't realize it."

Lirika swallowed. Tears welled up in her round eyes again.

Rudia slowly wiped away the tears, which rolled down like pearls. Seeing her mother's gentle smile, Lirika's trembling lips opened.

The only word that came out was:

"Mom..."

Rudia pulled her into a tight embrace.

"There, there, you've worked hard. I'm sorry I didn't know. Okay?"

Holding her sobbing daughter, Rudia repeated these words several times.

When the crying subsided, Rudia wiped her cheeks and said.

"Now, I want to protect Lirika. You've been protecting me all this time, so let me protect you now, my precious Lirika. My treasure. Because of Lirika, I can be strong."

Lirika hiccupped and nodded. Her mother's embrace was soft.

The hand on her back, the soft voice.

The joy of being recognized and the relief of not being abandoned mixed together, and Lirika quickly fell asleep.

Seeing her daughter's innocent face, Rudia smiled. Now her daughter was heavier, but happiness was worth the weight.

"Mom..."

"Yeah, I'm here."

Seeing her daughter mumble in her arms, Rudia smiled. After confirming that Lirika was fully asleep, Rudia whispered softly.

"Lirika, I've learned a lot from you. But back then, I didn't realize how amazing it was. I ignored and trampled it."

Usually, people don't want to admit their mistakes. They don't want their choices to be negated, especially by someone they look down on.

So she didn't realize it back then.

Or, even if she did, she ignored it.

"Lirika isn't just raised by me; Lirika has also raised me."

Rudia held her daughter tightly. She was a foolish person.

A foolish person who wouldn't realize until she saw her daughter die or was burned at the stake.

'So this time, I must.'

She didn't know how the opportunity came. Maybe she was still burning, and this was just an illusion.

But it didn't matter.

In any situation, she was determined to do her best.

At that moment, Brin approached quietly and asked.

"Your Majesty, shall I carry Princess Lirika?"

"No, I'll take her to the bed."

"Understood."

As they left the bedroom, Attil was pacing.

"Thank you, Attil."

"No, it's nothing."

Attil shook his head. He felt like he hadn't been much help. Rudia smiled slightly.

"No, because Lirika came to you, I could hear her story. If not for Attil, she would have kept it to herself. I'm glad she has an older brother like Attil."

Attil felt embarrassed and tightly closed his mouth, turning his gaze away.

Rudia frowned, wondering why he looked displeased when she praised him, but the door opened. Everyone's attention turned to it.

Altair looked around at everyone inside.

Everyone except him was there. Attil was flustered, trying to think of an excuse, but Altair approached and said.

"I'll carry her."

"I'm fine."

"She's my daughter too."

Rudia slightly frowned but had no counterargument. She couldn't say, "After all, she's only an 8-year-old daughter."

Lirika was so deeply asleep that she didn't wake up even when Altair took her in his arms.

Altair casually tousled Attil's hair with one hand. Attil was startled and froze.

"You've worked hard."

"No, it's nothing."

A stiff answer came out. Rudia understood why Attil expressed affection by stroking hair.

'That's how he does it.'

But he had never stroked her hair. Rudia thought to herself.

'That's a good thing. If he did, I would have bitten his hand off.'

She said to Attil.

"Rest well now. I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep."

"It's fine."

Attil felt like he had been giving stupid answers—endless "No, it's nothing" and "It's fine"—but he found it hard to respond properly.

Altair walked out confidently with Lirika in his arms, and Rudia followed.