Chapter 25 of 42
Chapter 25
11 min read2,661 words
Sometimes I think, isn't human life a process of opening up? Just like the first word spoken, the first step taken, the first song learned—when countless firsts come flooding in, the subsequent events naturally blend into life.
The street was somewhat gloomy in the morning, with scattered passersby having indifferent or lazy faces, yawning as they walked past me. The bright sky in the distance, the dark clouds piled up overhead, and I, holding the brocade box, had such thoughts.
I had felt so much loneliness on many nights, feeling like a 'monster' in this world, harboring countless secrets that I couldn't speak of, and the loneliness of having no 'kindred spirits.'
Now, I've met Qin Hainian, and the next day, I met a mysterious middle-aged man. Is this another process of opening up in my life?
Yes, I don't think that middle-aged man is an ordinary person. At least, ordinary people can't disappear in the blink of an eye on a street with no branches and is still quite open. Even I can't do that, after all, I just know a bit more than ordinary people and have learned something different.
After searching everywhere and finding nothing, I had to give up looking for the middle-aged man and just hold the brocade box. At that moment, I realized how mysterious this world is, and in these few days, it finally revealed a corner of its mysterious tapestry to me.
Back in the shop, it was somewhat stuffy without the air conditioning. My mood was inexplicably heavy, holding the brocade box, I couldn't snap out of it, feeling inexplicably depressed.
Inside the brocade box was a magical piece of fur, which the middle-aged man told me had a significant origin. I no longer dared to doubt his words. I wanted to open the brocade box again to take a closer look, but from the brief glance I had, I couldn't see anything special about the fur except that it was eye-catching. It was just a fox, with no tails, six legs, and it was a small fox.
But when I placed the brocade box on the counter and put my fingers on the clasp, I hesitated again. I remembered the feeling the fur gave me; just one glance almost made me lose my mind and want to possess it. It must be a dangerous thing, right?
I felt I shouldn't look at it again, even though my spiritual senses were not outstanding, this didn't hinder my judgment of the matter.
Thinking this, I endured the various complex feelings in my heart and casually threw the brocade box under the counter. I forced myself not to think about it all day.
Apart from this strange event in the morning, the rest of the day passed rather quietly. When it was time to close the shop, I silently tidied everything up, as usual, ready to close the door. But today, I hesitated, as if something inside me was calling me to take it away.
This struggle I couldn't control made me stand at the shop door, almost maintaining the position of pulling the door for a minute. Finally, I gritted my teeth, let go of the door, rushed into the shop, and took out the brocade box I had casually thrown on the counter. The moment I held it, I felt inexplicably reassured, and a smile even appeared at the corners of my mouth.
This time, I pulled the shop door down without hesitation and left my little shop.
Despite the magical feeling this fur gave me, it didn't stop me from labeling it as 'dangerous.' I even felt bewitched, sitting on the sofa and staring at the brocade box, always hesitating whether to open it and take another look. I felt it was like a battle of willpower, and in the end, I didn't open it. When the alarm clock, which was a black cat police officer, rang, I considered it a win for today. I had to meet Lao Zhou and the female ghost for negotiations, and the black cat police officer reminded me of this.
I threw it under the bed in frustration, just like I had thrown the things my master passed down to me under the bed. This was a kind of attitude, at least I thought so.
After tidying everything up, I set out from home. Actually, making an ordinary person see a ghost isn't as easy as folk tales suggest; it can even be somewhat dangerous. But in this dilemma, I had no choice but to use this method.
When the car arrived at the entrance of Lao Zhou's neighborhood, Lao Zhou was already waiting there. I got out of the car and called his name. He was clearly lost in his thoughts, and my voice, not very loud, actually startled him.
"Ye Zhengling, you scared me," Lao Zhou said to me, his face pale under the streetlights.
He often looked like this these days. I wondered if after all this, Lao Zhou would no longer be tanned but become a fair-skinned man. If this method of whitening worked, it would be very environmentally friendly.
"It's you who scared yourself, not me," I said, looking down and seeing at least 5 or 6 cigarette butts by Lao Zhou's feet, indicating how much psychological pressure he was under.
I believed that if I were to take his blood pressure now, it would definitely be high due to tension.
"Sure, you're right. I'm just waiting for you to completely destroy my worldview tonight," Lao Zhou said, trying to sound relaxed, and walked ahead, got into the car, and sat in the passenger seat.
It was 10:40 PM, and I thought it was still early, so after getting into the car, I didn't rush to drive but lit a cigarette and tried to organize my words to Lao Zhou: "Lao Zhou, I don't plan to destroy your worldview, and you shouldn't think that way either. After all, what ghosts are, even as a Taoist, I can't give you a precise answer. Sometimes, you can try to explain it from a scientific perspective. What is it? It's a human's unextinguished will, really, it can be explained that way."
Lao Zhou didn't say anything, just looked at me, his eyes somewhat puzzled.
I exhaled a puff of smoke, and the hot wind from outside the car window blew it away. I continued, "Lao Zhou, I have no other intention. I'm just telling you that there must be some corners of this world where things exist that we don't know or can't understand. We can't refuse to accept them or give them a rigid definition just because they are full of mysteries. Whether the definition is correct or not, we use it to comfort ourselves, thinking that everything in this world is within the scope of what I can explain. You need to know that, whether you or I, we are human, and humans, I think, are naive. Not to mention the vast expanse of the universe, even the corners of the land on this planet, no one can claim to have explored them all. What about the deep sea? What about underground? You know, if the Earth is an apple, we are just on the skin of the apple."
"Lao San, are you planning to watch National Geographic with me tonight? Why did you suddenly bring this up?" Lao Zhou finally asked, somewhat impatiently.
"Um, I didn't mean that. I just heard that after someone's worldview is destroyed, they might start to doubt life, even develop personality disorders, and in severe cases, even have suicidal tendencies. Lao Zhou, I'm just trying to prepare you psychologically," I said, and that was indeed my intention.
After I said this, Lao Zhou's face suddenly became serious. He turned to look at me and said, "Lao San, do you really not understand me, or are you pretending not to understand me? Do you think I, Zhou Zheng, have a worldview? Don't forget the things we experienced together when we were young."
"Your, your meaning is?" I felt like I was getting to know Lao Zhou all over again. I could vaguely guess what Lao Zhou was going to tell me, but for me, it was more shocking than when my master first showed me a soul.
"You know I have OCD. I just want to live like a normal person, including studying medicine. Isn't it said that doctors are the most rational? But after working in the hospital, I found that some doctors are more dependent on faith than ordinary people. Do you understand that feeling? The more you try to avoid something, the more it plants an indelible seed in your heart, forcing you to go to extremes. There are many painful things in life, and one of them is when something happens to you, and you can't find an answer no matter what. Lao San, over the years, haven't you noticed that I've been avoiding it? Now, fate has just used another way to make me unable to avoid it." After saying this, Lao Zhou seemed tired, leaned back in his seat, and lit another cigarette.
"I guessed you were like this, but over the years, the extreme behavior you displayed made me, as your brother, not want to deliberately expose it. Over time, I just thought you were like that," I said, and laughed.
Lao Zhou also laughed.
Actually, this conversation brought us closer again, and the feeling of opening up to each other was quite nice, at least it eased some of the tension.
"Lao San, I have many questions to ask you, like, what happened to you after that year?" Lao Zhou tried to speak, and over the years, he had never asked me.
At this moment, I suddenly pulled the handbrake and said, "Let's wait until this matter is over. I'll see if I can try to tell you."
The car started, and the roar of the engine seemed to cover up some of my heartache. After so many years, the pain I couldn't forget, the sorrow I couldn't forget, was still there, even though it was a turning point in my life.
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