Chapter 1

"Then, the kiss of promise."

Harriet pretended to look at the two main characters while actually staring at the head of the person in front of her, focusing on not thinking about anything.

"Here stand the two, now married! Please send them off with your applause as they embark on their new journey!"

She did feel like blessing them, but that wasn't everything.

During these past six months, she had gotten used to putting on a fake smile and clapping. The bride would surely feel her happiness dim if she saw her. That wasn't her intention. To avoid appearing in the bride's line of sight, she clapped while hiding behind someone else.

***

I, Harriet Garfield, am a viscount's daughter. I am in my second year at the Royal School, which noble children attend from the age of 15.

On the way to the opening ceremony, I got lost and was led by Mary Clayton, a countess's daughter, who became my friend because we happened to go together. We quickly got along, and it became acceptable to speak informally. We visited each other's homes and had a lot of fun.

One day, we couldn't find the new classroom and got lost. As time was running out, two male students appeared.

"Brother! That's perfect, can you tell us where it is?"

From Mary's call, I understood that the man with brown long hair was Mary's brother. However, my gaze was fixed on the beautiful young man with short blonde hair and blue eyes next to him.

"It's the opposite direction. I'll take you part of the way."

"Thank you, Brother!"

While listening to the brother and sister's conversation, I walked beside Mary without saying a word. We parted ways without knowing who that person was, but thanks to Mary's brother's clear instructions, we made it to class on time.

After a while, I started spacing out more often, and Mary grilled me with a sly smile.

"Who is it? You're in love, aren't you? Come on, confess."

"It's... Mary's brother's friend... the blonde one..."

"Oh! Then I can help! This is my chance to shine!"

Due to Mary's insistence, we ended up having lunch together with the brother and sister the day after tomorrow. Officially, it was to thank them, so Mary and I bought gifts for both of them.

***

Mary's brother, who was two years older, was named Miles, and the blonde man was Nicholas Waddington, a count's second son. After introducing ourselves, I thought I would be too nervous to speak, but the other three were good listeners and had plenty of topics, so I could talk smoothly. We exchanged gifts, had a great time, and made plans to have lunch together again.

Back in the classroom, Mary and I had a post-mortem discussion, talking about how nice he was and planning for the next time. We repeated this process several times, and before we knew it, having lunch together became the norm, and we stopped having post-mortem discussions.

About two months later, I noticed something was different from the beginning. For a while, I couldn't figure out what it was, but I realized that Nicholas often enjoyed conversations with Mary more than with me. Gradually, Nicholas started talking to Mary more, and his seat, which was next to me, moved next to Mary. The four of us started having two separate conversations, and I ended up talking mostly with Miles.

Still, I held onto hope because I could tell Mary was concerned about me. I had been thinking that if Mary gave up, even a compromise would be fine, as long as he would look at me.

I think Mary was trying to convince herself that she shouldn't fall in love with him for my sake. But after about six months, I realized that Mary was also attracted to Nicholas.

I was just in the way. Still, I couldn't give up on him and couldn't bear to let go. I watched helplessly as they grew closer every day. It was painful, and it got worse, but I didn't have the courage to tell Nicholas my feelings or to confirm Mary's.

I knew I should have given up sooner, but I still wanted to see Nicholas, and the days dragged on.

***

Such days came to an end one day near the end of the first year. Before class, Mary took me to a secluded spot. Her expression, a mix of happiness and guilt, gave me a vague idea of what was coming.

"Um... well... I'm going to be engaged to Nicholas..."

For a moment, all the dark and dirty feelings I had been suppressing threatened to burst out. If I let my guard down, I might cry or confront Mary.

Crying and making a scene would be pathetic, and it wouldn't make Nicholas turn to me.

Thinking only that, I suppressed myself and put on a perfect smile.

"Congratulations, Mary! I wish you all the best!"

"But, um..."

I quickly interrupted Mary, who seemed to have something to say.

"No, don't apologize! It would only make things worse... Besides, you have no reason to feel inferior to me or to give up your happiness for my sake. I want to remain good friends with you."

Wishing for someone else's misfortune wouldn't make me happy. I wanted to be proud of myself. Lashing out would only make me look pathetic and miserable.

I had to keep reminding myself of this, as the words threatened to spill out.

"Thank you, Harriet..."

Mary, unable to apologize, could only say that.

We returned to the classroom and attended the morning class while I desperately tried to steel myself. I had to smile and congratulate Nicholas, and today would be the last time we would have lunch together.

"Congratulations, Lord Nicholas! I heard the news."

I congratulated him as soon as we met, thinking that taking the initiative would give me time to prepare.

"Thank you, Miss Harriet. Mary already told you, I see."

Nicholas changed the way he addressed me and looked at her affectionately. My plan failed. Still, I managed to maintain my fake smile.

"Oh, we must be in the way. Don't you think so, Lord Miles?"

"Yes. There's no need to worry about appearances when you're alone, so the intruders will leave from tomorrow."

Miles's words relieved me, but Nicholas looked anxious.

"No, that... I want you two to continue as usual until the engagement is announced."

"What do you mean?"

In response to Miles's question, Nicholas looked uncomfortable.

"Actually, the... Duke of Westwick's daughter has set her sights on me..."

The daughter and her father, the duke, are known for their fierce personalities. Moreover, the daughter often falls for men who are already interested in someone else. She is currently eyeing two or three men. The duke, despite the mismatch in status, tries to force the issue if his daughter is happy.

Therefore, the parents of both families decided to proceed as discreetly as possible, with the engagement announcement in one month and the wedding in six months. Mary will continue attending school even after marriage.

"But can't the duke still interfere even after the engagement? Wouldn't it be more effective to show a happy couple to make the daughter give up?"

In response to Miles's question, Nicholas shook his head.

"The daughter can pursue any man who isn't engaged, but she gives up on men who are engaged, apparently valuing appearances. For some reason, she only targets men who are about to get engaged to someone else.

Moreover, she has pressured the intended before. The previous one hurriedly announced the engagement to avoid interference and couldn't do anything else."

So, Nicholas wanted to proceed quickly but as discreetly as possible, and he didn't want the identity of the fiancée to be known.

"Would you help as a friend, Miss Harriet?"

Ah, my retreat was cut off. Even when I glanced at Mary, she seemed flustered but not about to stop the plan. Before I knew it, I had said,

"Yes, of course."

And so, I stepped into hell.

The following month was truly tough. Every day, I watched Nicholas look at Mary affectionately, and Mary tried to act normal but was careful with me. Miles tried to balance the conversation, but it only highlighted the difference in Nicholas's attitude toward Mary and me. Moreover, Mary, out of consideration for me, avoided talking about the engagement, while Nicholas happily discussed it. Meals that should have been enjoyable became like eating sand, and the conversation flowed superficially.

At home, I pressed my resentment, sobs, and tears into my pillow.

You introduced us, knowing my feelings. Why didn't you say anything before the engagement? Don't show me that Mary was chosen and I wasn't.

How could I have avoided such hell? At the very least, to hide my shredded self-esteem, I wanted to put on a brave front and pretend it wasn't a big deal.

***

I received the engagement announcement and wedding invitations from Nicholas the same day I was told about the engagement, so I replied the next day that I would attend both. It was difficult to decline since our families were in the same faction and my family's status was lower, and I had no reason to refuse.

The day of the engagement party finally arrived. My love had long worn thin, but I wanted to be freed from the days of being reminded that I wasn't chosen and my self-esteem being chipped away.

Mary had wavy, flaxen hair and a cute face. Her family would surely do their best to make her look beautiful.

I had straight black hair and an average face. No matter how much I dressed up, the person I wanted to impress would be next to someone much prettier, and I wouldn't leave a mark in his heart. The more I tried to look good, the more miserable I felt, so I only made myself presentable enough for the occasion.

"Congratulations on your engagement, Lord Nicholas, Lady Mary. I wish you all the best."

Lies. It was impossible to mean it from the heart. But I was confident in my smile today, having practiced it desperately yesterday.

And, as expected, Mary looked beautiful.

"Thank you, I'm very happy."

As we chatted, a voice came from above us.

"Thank you for coming, Miss Harriet. And congratulations to both of you. I feel refreshed thinking I won't have to see my sister's PDA anymore. It was hard to know where to look."

Turning around, it was indeed Miles.

"Yes, I'm very sorry. And Miss Harriet, too."

"No... I would say, but it was sometimes a problem. Please enjoy yourselves from now on?"

I made a wry smile, and they both blushed.

"Of course, we will. But, sometimes, it would be nice to have lunch with all four of us again?"

"Yes, I suppose so..."

While Nicholas's words were on my mind, I let someone else take over the conversation and moved to the party venue. Since it was a standing reception, it was almost like a regular party, except that the conversation was mostly about the two of them.

The only thing that differed from the truth was that Mary was the one who wanted to meet Nicholas, and I had accompanied her because she was nervous. I was fine with this, as I wasn't part of their story.

When I met Mary's parents, her mother asked if I would like to sit in the front at the wedding, but I declined, not wanting to be mistaken for Miles's fiancée. The mother probably had that intention, but when I firmly declined, she reluctantly accepted. She had always seemed a bit dreamy, and perhaps she had misunderstood something Mary told her about the four of us having lunch together.

***

From the next day, I started having lunch with other friends or alone. Mary had lunch with Nicholas but spent some breaks with me, and we seemed to have a peaceful life. I intended to gradually distance myself from Mary.

About a month later, Mary came to me with a troubled look.

"Um... Lord Nicholas said he wants to have a fun lunch with all four of us again... He said to let him know a possible day whenever it's convenient..."

I sighed. With this request, I couldn't refuse all the breaks. Due to family relations, I had to maintain a surface-level relationship.

"...Alright. But I want to meet other people too, so I can't join most days."

Mary's eyes widened, then she smiled.

"...Thank you! That's enough!"

Mary must have been happy to spend some time as before. Unfortunately, my feelings had completely changed.

I had started interacting with others and no longer cared. If someone disregarded my feelings, I could do the same.

"Also, I don't want to hear about the engagement or the wedding. I'm not engaged and feel anxious, so I don't want to hear about it."

"Yes, of course, I understand. I won't bring it up."

Mary probably knew it was an excuse, but she would tell Nicholas.

A few days later, when I went to the usual spot, Nicholas and Miles were already there. Miles looked surprised, so he hadn't been told. I glared at Nicholas.

Since Mary had apparently told Nicholas, the conversation was kept safe, but Nicholas and Mary created their own world, and Miles and I talked as before.

What was I being made to do? What was I being shown?

Miles sometimes looked at them with a resigned expression, so I thought this wouldn't happen again and quickly finished my meal.

'Sorry. Mary was worried about losing your friendship and tried to fix it by getting Nicholas and me to spend time together.'

A note with a small pen was passed to me, hidden from the others.

So, Mary chose Nicholas knowing this would happen. The only reason to lose a friend was my love, but did Miles know my feelings? What about Nicholas?

Surprised, confused, and angry, I looked at Miles, who had a resigned, pained, and dry smile.

Ah, he was a victim too. He must have been manipulated by Mary many times.

'Thank you for telling me. I don't want to be part of this plan. I wish you a good match.'

I wrote a reply and passed it to him. Miles smiled wryly.

"I would feel the same if I were in your shoes. Thank you, and I wish you a good match too."

After the quiet exchange, I spoke to the two in front of us.

"I just remembered I haven't finished my next class's preparation. I'm very sorry, but I'll take my leave now."

"That's not good, work hard. We'll meet again, Mary and I..."

I stopped Nicholas, who was flustered by my words, with a smile.

"I have a busy schedule for a while, so I'll contact you when I'm free. Goodbye."

After introducing me to Nicholas and then getting engaged without telling me, I didn't want Mary to meddle in my love life or become family. I hadn't been confessed to by Miles, but I rejected him for these reasons.

I deeply sympathized with Miles, who would likely be manipulated by Mary in the future, and wished for him to find someone who would bring him peace.