Chapter 17

17

I realized I had made a slip of the tongue, but it was already too late. Theodore's face was tinged with confusion. I opened my mouth to speak, then quickly added,

“What I mean is… I want to rest alone. It’s uncomfortable when someone is around…”

“……”

Theodore, who had been looking at me with a complicated expression, finally smiled bitterly and said,

“I must have been insensitive. I’m sorry.”

“……”

I didn’t respond and bowed my head deeply. In truth, it was a struggle for me to even speak to him anymore.

“……Then I’ll leave now. Get plenty of rest.”

“Yes, Your Grace, you too.”

Upon hearing my words, he hesitated for a moment. A subtle expression crossed his face. I glanced at him, hoping he would leave quickly.

Theodore stood there, not moving, and stared at me intently before speaking cautiously,

“From now on….”

“……”

“I would like you to call me by my name or a nickname.”

He left those words and gave a faint smile before slowly walking towards the door.

Thud. After he closed the door and left, a heavy silence filled the room for a while.

* * *

“I was shocked to hear you suddenly fainted. Really… I thought my heart would drop. Are you really okay now?”

Charlotte asked, bustling about. She placed her hand on my forehead to check my temperature and sighed with a hint of relief.

I watched Charlotte pull the trolley from the doorway and answered with a smile in my voice.

“Actually, I did it on purpose.”

“Pardon…?”

Charlotte, who was lifting the tray, paused. I sat up and continued matter-of-factly,

“I faked the faint. There’s a way to do it.”

“A way to do it…?”

I explained to Charlotte how I faked the faint. But as I finished, her face turned pale.

“Charlotte?”

I tilted my head in confusion and called her name. Charlotte looked as if she was about to cry. She bit her lip and her eyes welled up with tears. Suddenly, she came closer, grabbed my hand, and said,

“Madam, please… don’t do that again.”

“……?”

Is this because… the method I used to fake the faint was too extreme?

It didn’t seem like a big deal to me, but perhaps it was shocking to others. After all, it’s not a common way to fake a faint. I nodded at Charlotte.

“Alright, I won’t do it again.”

“Really? You promise me?”

“Sure.”

Charlotte finally sighed in relief, looking as if a weight had been lifted. She lifted the tray again and said,

“It’s warm soup. It should be just right to eat now. Please have some.”

“…Okay, bring it here.”

I had no appetite, and it didn’t seem like the food would go down, but I felt I should eat a few spoonfuls to show Charlotte’s effort. I smiled and took the tray.

When I opened the lid of the bowl on the tray, steam rose in a white cloud, and a fragrant aroma wafted up.

I picked up the spoon with my still weak hand. The spoon trembled slightly. I slowly took a spoonful of the soup, which was well-seasoned and light.

“…Does it taste good?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

In the end, I couldn’t finish even half of it, but I felt I had at least eaten something.

With Charlotte’s help, I washed up briefly and lay down on the bed again. As I closed my eyes, Theodore’s words came back to me.

‘From now on… I would like you to call me by my name or a nickname.’

He doesn’t realize how absurd his words are. He doesn’t see how unreasonable his actions are.

But… it doesn’t matter. He’ll realize it soon enough. How to treat me, his nominal wife.

So his kindness is just a whim. A fleeting illusion brought on by his memory loss. Like a ray of sunlight that briefly appears and disappears on a day of constant rain.

* * *

It’s not hard to notice when someone finds you uncomfortable. Theodore easily realized that Lili found him uncomfortable.

“……”

It wasn’t a good feeling. He rolled a coin in his hand and then tossed it onto the table. It landed heads up. As he stared at the image on the coin, he suddenly remembered the moment Lili fainted.

Her body collapsing weakly, her heart seeming to stop, her pale face with closed eyes, and the absence of her breath.

Theodore still found it hard to describe his feelings at that moment. He couldn’t clearly remember what state of mind he was in. He just held her in his trembling arms and called her name urgently.

‘Lili? Lili!’

After a while, her heartbeat and breathing returned, but her consciousness did not. Theodore quickly tried to lift her onto the horse. At that moment, Hessen Everett chuckled in disbelief and muttered,

‘Wow, this crazy girl again…’

The moment he paused and turned to look at Hessen, their eyes met. Hessen Everett seemed both shocked and exasperated. He ran his hand roughly through his silver hair and spoke rapidly, as if he had lost his mind.

‘Your Grace, be careful. This girl is a monster. She faked the faint on purpose!’

‘…On purpose?’

Theodore noticed that Hessen Everett’s hand was trembling. …Upon closer inspection, he seemed more shaken than he let on.

‘In the past… Ah, forget it. Just remember. This girl is good at manipulating people. …Well, it doesn’t matter to you now, does it? You’ll divorce soon anyway.’

‘…What?’

‘Why are you acting surprised? Are you going to spend your life with an Everett woman? You were going to divorce at the right time, weren’t you?’

‘…’

Speechless, Theodore closed his mouth. …It was a question he couldn’t answer. He hadn’t fully grasped what had happened to Lili Everett or to his past self. Perhaps there were truths that only he could know.

So, the divorce was not a decision to be made lightly. Theodore turned away from Hessen Everett, lifted Lili, and mounted the horse.

As he turned the horse towards the direction of the ducal mansion, Hessen Everett greeted him with a casual tone,

‘See you later, Your Grace.’

‘…’

His attitude was carefree and indifferent, but his eyes were sharp, as if trying to dissect Theodore. Theodore coldly glanced at Hessen and turned away.

A mocking laugh followed. As he was about to start, Hessen Everett added,

‘When you divorce, she’ll remarry. To Lennon Chester, the Chester family’s rogue.’

Theodore involuntarily paused. The words, which Lili would have found insulting if she were awake, continued unabated.

‘What a tragic life for that girl. Not only was her first marriage to you, but her second will be to Lennon Chester. Did you know that he’s been spreading rumors that she didn’t even properly consummate her first marriage with you?’

At that moment, Theodore almost drew his sword to cut down Hessen Everett. He barely suppressed his rage, glanced at Lili in his arms, and hurriedly moved on. No matter what that man said, his priority was to get her to a doctor.

When he arrived at the Valentinno mansion, every second felt like hell. Seeing her lying there with a pale face made his heart beat uneasily. It felt as if poison was mixed with his breath, making his chest tight. This feeling… he hadn’t experienced it since he lost his brother.

“……”

Theodore’s gaze fell on the medicine bottle on the table. The fact that she had been taking this long-term was shocking. On one hand, it was unbearable. It felt like a suffocating pain. The fact that she was taking something as toxic as this every day meant she wasn’t taking care of herself.

“I….”

He spoke the first words without realizing it. The rest he continued silently in his mind. How did I let it come to this?

His pre-memory loss self felt like a distant stranger. What could have happened in those two years to create such a significant gap? It couldn’t be just because she was the daughter of the Duke of Everett. There must have been other reasons. He felt he would continue to wander until he found the right answer. And…

‘When you divorce, she’ll remarry. To Lennon Chester, the Chester family’s rogue.’

“……”

His hand clenched the coin again. He looked at his knuckles, which were white from the strain, and tossed the coin again. It landed heads up once more.

Theodore picked up the medicine bottle and walked to his desk. He opened a drawer, placed the bottle inside, and rang the bell to summon a servant.

“Master, is there something you need?”

“Bring Calvin. He should be in the library.”

“Yes, Master.”

Calvin Wales was his closest confidant, almost a right-hand man, and had been by his side since childhood, like a childhood friend. They were close enough to share personal concerns, so he must know something about Lili.

A moment later, Calvin entered the study. Theodore, who had been pretending to read documents, looked up. Calvin, with his tousled curly hair, approached with a sullen expression. He asked in a casual tone,

“Have your memories returned?”

“No, not yet.”

“…What do you need?”

Theodore gestured to the chair beside his desk, indicating for him to sit. Calvin did so without a word. As he adjusted his round glasses, Theodore began,

“I have some questions about me before I lost my memory.”

“……”

“About how I got along with Lili and what I said about her… if you know anything, tell me.”