Chapter 54

54

'Mrs. Seymour always seemed perfect. But... '

There's no one in the world who is truly perfect.

...Yeah, well... We don't know what will happen in the future, so let's continue the investigation. After all, it was the lord who ordered it.

'Even if you can't remember it.'

With that conclusion, she felt a bit more at ease. Carmen quickly finished the remaining dinner and got up from her seat.

She planned to start the investigation she had postponed due to the crack, right from tonight.

* * *

Calvin was a bit annoyed with Theodore. No matter how much he was Theodore's childhood friend and advisor, Theodore had really gone too far.

Not long ago, he lost all his memories of Lily and started asking questions, and now he claims to have lost his memories from the past. It was truly exasperating.

"Here! I've organized everything. Read it. Make your own judgment."

"..."

Instead of bickering with Theodore, Calvin had summarized the events in a document about 50 pages long.

From Calvin's perspective, Theodore definitely had feelings for Lily. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. If he truly felt nothing, he would just be indifferent.

Theodore was not indifferent to Lily. He was clearly showing his emotions. Calvin no longer wanted to refine those complex and subtle feelings. He just hoped Theodore would figure it out on his own.

After all, in a relationship, no one is a third party. He hoped Theodore would realize on his own that he had feelings for Lily but was denying them.

If you keep denying your feelings, you will eventually fall into a contradiction. Perhaps memory loss is a result of that. It's just a guess, though.

Anyway, it wasn't something Calvin could help with. Such realizations must be gained on one's own. Interfering would only make things worse.

"Ah! And take this too!"

"…What is it?"

Calvin, as if suddenly remembering, took a notebook from the safe and threw it to Theodore. Theodore, who had received it and was examining it, was surprised. The golden letters engraved on the black leather cover... were his name.

"This is... "

"It's the diary you wrote when you lost your memory. You entrusted it to me before you went to seal the crack this time."

"..."

Theodore quietly looked down at the black leather diary. ...He couldn't describe how he felt. After reading the diary, he would probably feel even more so.

"...Thanks."

Theodore briefly thanked Calvin and left the office, heading to his room.

Upon arriving at his room, he placed the thick stack of documents on the side table. Then, he sat on the bed and opened the diary.

The handwriting inside was definitely his, but it felt strangely unfamiliar.

Theodore read the diary with a strange feeling, as if reading an essay written by someone else.

In the diary, he simply acknowledged his feelings for Lily and tried to win her affection.

He firmly believed that there was some misunderstanding between him and Lily.

'...It can't be a misunderstanding...'

But as soon as he thought that, a voice inside him countered.

What if it was a misunderstanding?

What if all the 'evidence' he saw... was forged?

'...It can't be. It was solid evidence.'

...But at that time... he was confused. Looking back, he was not his usual self and was tormented by the emotions that boiled up whenever he saw Lily.

Theodore covered his face with his palms as he closed the diary.

Perhaps he wanted to run away from the pain that the emotions brought.

Theodore thought about it. Why was the 'self who lost his memory' so relaxed?

He himself was not like that.

He first met Lily two years ago. The main difference between the past and now was undoubtedly his 'confidence in his abilities,' stability, and a well-organized environment.

The self who lost his memory met Lily with all these things in place. It was not really the first time, but it felt like it since he couldn't remember her.

...But what about the past self? Serafin, his brother's spirit, wouldn't listen, and the crack that couldn't be closed continued to grow. Over a hundred villages were attacked by monsters, and to make matters worse, a drought hit the entire estate.

He had never been trained as a successor. This position was originally his brother's. He knew his own shortcomings better than anyone. So he was obsessed with perfection. He had to be thorough in everything to avoid disappointing the vassals who followed the only Valentine. He had no mental space to spare.

...That's why.

The unfamiliar feeling Lily gave him was too heavy and burdensome. She was even the daughter of the Duke of Everett. Not only did he marry the daughter of his enemy, but he couldn't give his heart to her. So he kept denying it. He trampled on his heart. After she disappointed him, he trampled on her heart as well.

And after 'that incident' which fueled his disappointment...

He started to completely ignore her.

It's hard to make rational decisions when you're under pressure. People are not perfect. He was no exception. So maybe... the 'evidence' he saw then...

'...It's impossible.'

Theodore abruptly got up from his seat and paced around the room. His fists were clenched, and his gaze, fixed on the air, was filled with unease.

What if, by some chance, the evidence was false?

Then, he...

Would have hurt her for over a year based on those scraps of paper.

It was hard to accept. He couldn't admit it. The House of Everett had always been a group of evil devils and perpetrators. And wasn't Lily their lackey? He had always believed so.

But now, doubt began to sprout.

'I have hated the Everetts for a long time. If I could punish those devils with my own hands, I would have no regrets in life. Especially Owen, that wicked human trash, I can never forgive him.'

'You have been mistaken all along. Thinking I would do anything for Everett. That I am a loyal servant to those bastards.'

'Why have you never listened to me? I tried to tell you so many times. You always turned your back on me and hated me. Even if you hated me, you should have at least understood how much I hate those bastards!'

...That's right.

He had never listened to her properly.

Not even once.

'Your Grace, I have something to tell you...'

'I'm busy.'

'It will only take a moment.'

'What is it? Don't waste my time, just say it quickly.'

'I am different from my father and brothers. I... did not want this marriage. I didn't marry to harm the Valentine family, but because of my father's coercion. In fact, I wanted to help the Valentine family and you...'

At that time, she was desperate.

But he didn't understand why she was so desperate. He didn't even try to understand.

Maybe he had misunderstood her. But to correct all this...

It felt too late.

Not just that one time, but he had kept ignoring her.

'Your Grace, could I have a moment...'

'I... Could I have 10 minutes to talk...'

'Please, just listen to me for a moment.'

He trampled on all her attempts and coldly ignored her.

The reason was one. ...He thought she was trying to seduce him for Everett.

But she says she hates Everett.

The hatred, resentment, and desire for revenge he saw in her eyes were not false. They couldn't be. He knew those eyes too well.

After losing his brother, after hearing from an investigator that there was something suspicious about his brother's death, he always saw those eyes in the mirror.

Because they were like his own eyes.

* * *

"Lady, are you hungry? We should go and have dinner now."

"Yeah, sure. Aren't you hungry too? How about we eat dinner in my room together?"

"Yes! I'd love to!"

Charlotte beamed. I smiled back at her.

It was improper for the lady of the house and her maid to sit at the same table, but Charlotte and I often did it in secret. It was more enjoyable to eat with Charlotte than alone.

When I first suggested eating together, Charlotte strongly refused, saying, "How can I do that?" But since she loved food so much, she eventually agreed. She couldn't resist the delicious food put in front of her.

Now, it felt natural for her to sit with me.

"I'm so hungry... I even had a snack. Why do I eat so much?"

"Being a good eater is a good thing."

"But I eat too much..."

Charlotte suddenly stopped talking and stared straight ahead. I was looking at the maple trees in the garden, and out of curiosity, I turned my gaze to where she was looking.

"..."

There... standing there... was none other than Theodore.

S.S. P.P. G.G. S.S.