My New Life, Won't You Please Become Peaceful! Chapter 42 633 May 31, 2018

“Here you go!”

Bam!

“Have this! This! This! and This!”

Crash!

I look bewilderedly at the ‘pile’ of files in front…you can seriously do all this in one night? There’s so much information. Are you sure you’re not actually also Haref Lancelot’s fan, huh?”.

Right now I’m actually sacred…if I asked for information about Salsaal, how big would the pile be?

“Ahem! Even though I’ve only completed on elf Haref’s route, but as a fan of this game, I also know about the other characters’ details and walkthroughs.”, the Wizard turned the other way.

“I’ve written the entire report from one of Haref’s fans: this includes both the open discussion boards and the close discussion boards. If you still can’t make Haref yours then please reconsider yourself!” (TN: If you’re confused what an open or close discussion boards is, imagine something like a Facebook group where you can just join in the discussion (open board) or groups where you have to actually send a request to join in order to be able to post something in the group (close board))

“Hey fujoshi, even though you’re a Salsaal fan, you still can’t make him yours, how can I trust your words…”, I’ve begun ti doubt my decisions but when I said it, the wizard turned the other way and smugly smiled.

“Huh! I want to have his heart that’s why it would take a while or else I could just go on the bed and bestow upon him my beautifully crafted body so he can press me down ages ago!”

“Sure…”, I pretended to clap. Wizard, have you forgotten, even if you were to bestow upon him your body, you’ve also got to consider whether the Prince has enough strength to do it or not!

I picked up the reports which the fujoshi has gathered and read them, listening to what the fujoshi has to say at the same time.

“Ushinawareta Hoshi is a dating sim that has 13 people you can date in total, including the Prince. The factor which determines which route we can go into is Cass Bedivere’s skill points”, the blind wizard explained. “For example, if you go into the library once, you’ll get 1 intelligence point and when you’ve got 6 intelligence points in total, you’ll be able to encounter Arian in the library!”

“So it’s like improving your skills for a guy?”, I began to understand the game’s mechanics.

“Something like that. You can treat your skill points as the factor which determines the character’s route’s personality. Let’s say it’s the same as determine your type of guy. For example, Salsaal is a secret route so all of your skill points have to be maxed out apart form this, you’ve also got to maintain ambiguous relationships with 2 other Dukes.”

So you’re saying you have to be talented, powerful, and is tricking 2 other guys just to meet Salsaal?

Despicable.

“But in Haref’s case, you can start meeting him from the second you begin the game.”

I didn’t know how to react. Mr number-one-in-popularity, aren’t you a tad bit too easy?! You have to do so many things before you can even lay your eyes upon Salsaal but Haref. you’re just going to pop out from the start?!!

“This is because the all the required skill points for Haref is…”, the wizard clenched his hand, “…all of it need to be...zero.”

“…”

“Haref’s type are those who are good-for-nothing.”, the Wizard repeated herself. “If you compare this to a shoujo manga*, then Haref’s type is one of those stupid girls who’ll trip on grass and like to service others by letting them see her underwear either when she falls down or when there’s wind!”

Don’t call those kind of girls stupid! To me that’s moe**!

“And then?”

“He’s got the usual main character’s standards. He likes those cliched heroines who are weak but mentally strong: someone who he can tease but also take care of at the same time…hm…the feeling’s probably something like…this person’s mine! I’m the only person who’s allowed to tease them! No one else has the rights to do this to this person!”

“Isn’t his characterisation a bit too…typical.”, I raised an eyebrow. He’s Mr number-one-in-popularity, shouldn’t his character be more interesting?

After that, I talked to Calis about tips on flirting with guys until the Wizard ran out of patience. However, before I left, I happened to think of something…

…Now that I’ve thought about it the requirements ignorer to meet Salsaal is…I looked at the Wizard and asked him.

“The requirements are to be talented at everything and you are talented but what about the other 2 Dukes you’ve been playing around with?”

“Oh…have you not noticed that all along, I’ve been tricking you?!”

The blind man scrunched his eyebrows together, “the 2 to-be Dukes I’ve been fooling around with are you and Nigel, oh, and also Haref! I’m totally Salsaal’s type!”

Girl…physically harassing others doesn’t count as flirting with them!

Also, where did you get that confidence from? When did all of us fall in love with you, huh, you fujoshi?!

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“I’m surprised you didn’t come and sleep in my room, big bro.”

Haref greeted me as I entered the classroom. I could hear him say the word big bro clearly, making me feel a bit chilly.

When the other sat down, I immediately moved closer to him, I attached myself onto him like a leach. I haven’t even done this to my real lil’ bro or lil’ sis you know! Because overtime I do it, they’ll push me away…

“Hey lil’ bro, were you lonely without your big bro? I see, you were lonely, you were lonely, right?!”, I have to make an advance! I have to become a flirtatious seme! I stared into the pair of rainbow coloured eyes in front of me. Come, the legendary embarrassed face, the blushing face of Mr number-one-in-popularity!! It’s a fact I’ve recently discovered that Haref isn’t good with advances.

But what’s weird is this time, Haref merely smiled…

…and stroked the back of my neck.

…

Huh?!

“I was lonely…”, he spoke with such a light and seducing tone, as if he really was upset…but I’m sure, that I’m feeling more upset than him right now, “We’ve been sleeping on the same bed for two nights now, I’m not used to being apart…

…that’s why, come sleep with me tonight…big bro.”

Yes, I will…

I would gladly tell him that if Haref were to be a little kid but when I looked at him, he’s even taller than me, he’s stronger than, more powerful and intelligent than me, making start to have doubt. Are we really only going to be sleeping, fake lil’ bro? There won’t be any A B C to make me more upset, right?! (TN: if you didn’t understand what A B C is then congrats you’ve got a pure mind)

I made a hard to swallow face…should I continue my advance or retreat? My enemy is way too scary today or should I go back to my room and read more information on Haref Lancelot before continuing my advance?

But, since I was born a manly man I obviously have to make my advance! I looked at my lil’ sis’ sister-in-law-to-be and clenched my teeth – if you caress me, then I’ll caress you back! I stroked his back in return…

Damn…muscle. He’s packed with muscles.

This is such a strange feeling, I’ve only got lanky-guy Salsaal beside me, a buffed Wizard who I’ll never think of making advances on and the innocent Nigel so, when I get to stroke something like this it makes me want to cry out: shiitttt…should I go and make myself fitter before thinking of pressing him down?

But there are also a lot of seme who are smaller than their uke! Height is does not matter when you’re doing it horizontally! Your strength doesn’t matters either! What matters is your technique! Experience! The number of times you’ve done and confidence!

Naturally, I’ve got all of this even if I may be a virgin in my last world but I’ve already studied this in depth!

Although, I’ve been moving away from Haref…it doesn’t mean that I’m running away or the fact that I’ve ran to hide behind Arian and Kay who had attempted to kill me before doesn’t mean I’m scared of my future wife! I only wanted to retreat so I can regain my composure…it’s not like I ran away from him to prepare myself mentally and it’s not like I know for definite that I’ll lose to him…

I looked at the person with rainbow coloured eyes who’s waving at me with a smug smile on his face It’s freezing, guess I’ll turn the other way. I saw Kay and Duncan who both showed faces of dissatisfaction…let’s turn to Arian.

Glasses Arian looked right at me, “I won’t prevent you from doing what you want, I won’t interfere either…but it’s best if you also think about your future. Even though, I don’t like you but let me warn you, someone like a to-be Duke Bedivere could be considered famous or well-known…”

I nodded, understandingly.

“…so, if you were done by Haref Lancelot…um…it’s best if you go and tell him to take responsibility.”

The glasses guy moved his glasses’ frame up and said awkwardly, “You’ve been sleeping in the same room…even though, he may be a Lancelot but don’t worry, there’s righteousness within the Round Table! We will give you what you should have so…um…”

It feels like he’s trying to coax a girl who’s been raped into reporting the crime to the police.

…

Let’s move to another seat.

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That night, the fujoshi came to see my progress.

“How was it! How was it!”, you’ve seem even excited with my love life than you are with yours.

“Is might just be me but lately, I haven’t seen any maneless from you at all?”, has the fujoshi stopped trying to act like a guy?

“That doesn’t matter! Tell me, how was it! Quick!!”, Calis was hurrying me so much I could only sigh and told her what happened today. How I made an advance and retreated…I meant fate made me feel like I had to go sit somewhere else and obviously when I finished telling her what happened…

Slap!!

The fujoshi hit my arm with all her might!! Th-That hurts like a lot…

I looked at the ‘delicate’ Wizard who’s got a face that could rival that of a serial killer and felt a chill down my spine. Calis’ mouth twitched and he began to curse at me.

“Are you a female dog, huh?!!!!”

Th-That’s way too harsh! At least call me useless or good-for-nothing, anything but calling me a female dog! I wanted to throw some curses back at him but since he is a girl (mentally), I could only stand by my chivalry and swallow the curses down my throat.

“What were you thinking?! Approaching him, caressing him as if you were begging him to do you like one of those girls in the nightclubs! Like one of those strippers! It’s as if your actions are telling him to do you and leave you after the one-nightstand instead of ending up with you as your boyfriend, what’s wrong with you?! Hey, mister, do you think this game is made just to create whores like you so they can go after guys, huh?!!”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“There must be a story to love! If you’re going to do something like this might as well just give him a service and show him your underwear!”

“…I’ve got trousers on…I don’t think he would appreciate it if I…”

“Shut the hell up!!”

“Yes…”, I bowed my head down. Fujoshi, how are you so scary.

“You’ve written a doujinshi right? When I read it, it was actually quite good so, why…”

“Well, most of the 18+ doujinshis only have a few pages of plot story, the rest is those kind of XX scenes…” since you want to minimise your production cost, it’s best if there’s only a few pages of plot story. Another thing, the 18+ scenes usually donates a large portion of it so that’s why most of the doujinshis only have a few pages of plot story before the scenes start…

…When I looked at much I knew about doujinshis, I felt even colder. Dear lil’ sis, you’ve educated your big bro too well!

“Is that so…then, you’ll have to remove all your previous understandings out of your brain and listen to me!!”, the fujoshi grabbed my shoulder. “From now on, you have to pursue him while pretending you are a stupid heroine! Trip on every three steps. You have to be weak inside but pretend you are actually strong. Cook something and give it to him, look at him from far away and become jealous when other guys get close to him…”

From what you’ve just said, I think I’ll die from tripping on every three steps before being able to pursue Haref.

Sometimes the fujoshi can’t be relied on when it comes to practicals.

I picked up the reports and skimmed through them. Maybe, I might need to go find a new consultant who’ll be able to help me… Although, he may not have much strength but I’m sure he can make advances without retreating. At the moment, he’s already captured Nigel – a great and impressive achievement which guarantees his ability to flirt with others and drag them into his harem…

…his name: Salsaal Secalno De Arthur.

*shoujo manga = Japanese comics aimed mainly at girls

**moe = cute/adorable

[Tea time behind the curtains -Family problems-]

Salsaal: “Wow…my love, so, are you cheating on me?”

Gilbert: “Are you high right now…”

Cass: “Don’t come near my elder brother!”

Author’s notes:

The man among men reclaims his throne. He’s been teasing Gil so much Gil can’t react fast enough to retreat. From the last chapter, Gil was only thinking what he’d like to do, he’ll never carry his plans out for real lol. (To those who are missing dark Gil, he’ll come out when he stops pretending)

Has no one noticed there hasn’t been a chapter on Salsaal’s past yet or when he’s with Nigel.

I can only say that in this novel, Haref could possibly be the purest one—!

In the future, one out of three of the guys, will become the true antagonist of this novel.

For now, please take your time to learn about them and love them 😀

Warning

This novel focuses more on the characters’ relationship, following the ‘BL dating sim’s’ storyline which is mostly about developing a relationship. Our protagonist hasn’t been sucked into an RPG game so, for those who are interested in more mature novels where there are a lot of those kind of scenes, I think it’s best if you stop reading this novel because this novel probably wouldn’t fit your appetite. ;w;/

Take you time and relax when reading since I’m also taking my time to write this. Cry— ;w; (*Covers my face* please don’t expect too much—)