My New Life, Won't You Please Become Peaceful! Chapter 52 98 Jun 30, 2018

It was as if I was submerge in a dream I didn’t want to wake up from.

Is death this easy in reality?

Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the details of when I died either. Everything seemed blurry. When I had a new life, it was as if I had woken up from slumber – forgetting when was it that I closed my eyes, forgetting how I died. Nothing is important once your life comes to an end…

However, when I died, I was able to think that when I was alive, I haven’t done many things.

I closed my eyes and opened them again.

My perspective changed. Everything became bigger as if I had become smaller. I walked around before flinching, jumped and hugged someone’s neck…a tall man, the kindest person, the strongest person and the one who spoils me the most.

There’s something you don’t know…

…once, you were my world

“Big bro!”

“Hey, be careful, you’ll fall!!”

Once, you were someone I loved more than any other.

“Let me hide behind you!”

“…Did you destroy some of mom’s belongings again. She’s screeching so loud right now…”, he said in a tone which expressed his tiredness but still shuffled his body in order to hide me. “…What was it this time, hm?”

“…a colour stick!”

“So, it’s lipstick this time.”

Big bro walked out of the room and in a short while, the giant’s voice became quiet and disappeared completely. Big bro returned, scrubbed my hair and smiled gently.

Big bro was different from the angry giant and all the misters in this house. This person has never scolded me and had spoiled me rotten. No matter what, even if I were to be in the wrong, everything will end with his smile.

“It’s fine for boys your age to be cheeky…”, he laughed, “You were great this time. You even escaped before being hit but next time, you have to hide it so you won’t get caught, ok?”

“Yup!!”

“If you were asked who did it?”

“I don’t know!”

“Excellent.”

That was the story before everything began.

In the day everything changed.

In the day a certain someone stepped into my life…

…changing my entire world, making me know that all along…

…I’d been dreaming.

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.

.

Everything happened faster than anybody would’ve thought.

I came to know on the day my parents died that I had a younger sister, a younger sister who was born from my dad’s mistress. That woman came on the last day of the funeral along with a medical certificate. She handed it to my big bro and said something which I can’t remember.

Because dad died, no one was giving her money. She didn’t want to be burdened so she pushed her daughter onto us.

The girl was adopted by our grandpa and grandma and we all moved to the countryside.

I didn’t like my grandpa and grandma much because they were too talkative and I…was quite a delinquent. They would always tell my elder brother that he failed at raising me.

“Grandma doesn’t want you to grow up to become a bad person.”, my elder brother sighed, he looked at me and pat my head, “…but children who are selfish are totally adorable…”

I didn’t understand but I thought that was a compliment.

We grew up little by little, day by day…

Grandpa passed away, the only people left were us and our grandma.

Big bro had grown up and had started to look for a job…

…and I…

“Don’t bully your sister!”

I absolutely despised my younger sister.

I ignored my grandma and continued to pulled her cheeks angrily, then, I ran away, following my elder brother’s teachings. My grandma was already old so she couldn’t catch up to me and could only severely scold me from far away, her words never entered my head at all.

Since my younger sister was never in the wrong, even if the other were to hit me first, if I were to hit her back or push her, the person who was in the wrong would always be me. The bad person would be me. Is that righteous?

“But that brat hit me first!”

“Hm, if that kid were to be someone else’s, I would’ve have told you to slap and hit them back but when she’s our younger sister…”, my elder brother’s smile faded slightly. “You should just bear with it.”

You’re a good for nothing, big bro.

For a while, my big bro’s teachings had started to conflict itself. When I pestered him about this, he only answered me with a face as if he was near tears, as if he’d encountered a major setback. My big bro who was once great, kind, and strong became indecisive and hesitant ever since my younger sister came into the picture.

That’s why I loathe her. I despise her the most.

It would be good if she’d just disappear.

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There was once when big bro was not home and grandma went out to do some shopping, leaving only my younger sister and I at home. Since I didn’t want to be near her, I didn’t try to approach her but when I walked, that small girl would walk after me.

“Big bro, lats pay.” (TN: she’s saying “Big bro, let’s play”)

Idiotic.

I didn’t want to have any problems so I decided to close the door but that kid was smacking the door so hard I thought it was going to fall off so, I had to open the door.

“Lats pay. Lats pay.”, the same words were replayed, making me bored, I rolled my eyes and looked at my ‘younger sister’ who I can’t play anything violent with: I can’t hit her, I can’t scold her. The only thing I can do is to spoil her, let her do whatever she wants and look after her.

How boring.

I looked at the person who ran and clung onto my body. I wanted to fling her away but I knew that in the end, she will still run towards me and do the same. I was deep in thought, trying to think of a way to get rid of this annoyance…something like an agreement, stating things she can or can’t do, this should make her stop bothering me.

When I was able to think of it, I don’t know what but something made me glance at the stairs.

I’ve figured it out.

“Hey, younger sister…if…”, I held her tiny hands and walked down the stairs slowly then I let go of her hands, “…if you can jump from this stair all the way down to the floor…your big bro will play with you, ok?”

“Eh?”

“Your big bro’s a strong man. Younger sister you’re a weak girl so, what we like to play is different but…”, I snickered, “…if you can jump all the way down, it would mean that you’re also strong meaning I would be able to play with you.”

The child blinked, looked at herself then at the floor. From her perspective it must’ve seem towering but it only looked like a metre and a bit from my perspective. Even if she were to jump, she would only be hurt but it won’t kill her.

However, if she were to be unlucky…

“Big bro.”

…not like it matters.

“If I jump you have to play with me, ok?”, the little girl held her hands up. She jumped without giving it a second thought. Everything happened swiftly. Her skirt fluttered before she fell down. A loud sound followed by her piercing screech.

“It hurtttssss! It hurrttsssss!! Big bro, it hurts…”

I blinked and looked at my younger sister, blood flowed out along with her tears. I don’t encounter this event often so, it all seemed weird to me. I was confused and puzzled…

…

Idiotic.

What an idiot.

At first I was going to find something to distract her and make her stop crying but there was a better way which is to go into my big bro’s room which was furthest away from the stairs, as long as I shut the door, I won’t be able to hear her cries anymore.

When my grandma came back, I was hit for the first time.

My grandma grabbed a cloth hanger and shaped it into a stick. Those arms which I assumed were weak, held me tight before those hands would start to hit me along with grandma’s scary scream I’d never heard before.

“Why! Why are you such an evil child! Why are you misbehaving this much!”

“Were you born from a sinister ghost?! Were you born from a murderer?! Why did you do this to your sister!”

“That’s your sister you know?! Your own younger sister!!”

My grandma’s scolding came out along with her cries, as if she were a monster that came out of a movie, making me started to scream out in horror.

When big bro returned home, he came to help me, he carried me in his arms and said something to my grandma but I couldn’t hear it because I was crying. I hugged him tight until he put me down in his room. He smiled at me, the same smile he’d always given me…

“Grandma is like a monster! Grandma’s like a ghost. She’s…scary. Big bro, I’m scared.”

“It’ll be fine…everything’s alright. Your big bro’s here…”, the voice that I was familiar with and his warm hands made me hug my big bro tight. “I heard about it…do you…hate younger sister that much?”

“She’s annoying. She’s always right no matter what. I hate her…I absolutely hate her.”, I closed my eyes and mumbled because I knew that in this world, only this person is ready to listen to anything I have to say.

“Well…if loving your younger sister is too difficult then…”, his forehead was on mine. “…you can stop trying.”

“In the beginning, she was only a parasite to our family anyways so, you don’t have to care about her.”

“Yeah…”, I closed my eyes, “I hate younger sister and how about you big bro, do you hate her?”

“Hm? Not really. It’s probably because she’s our younger sister and since she’s a family member, I do love her to an extent.”, he smiled and laughed, “If I actually hate her…that kid would not be living in this house right now…”

“Yeah.”, I used my head to bump his shoulder, “Grandma said I was a a sinister ghost’s child…”

“Sinister ghost’s child?”, my big bro raised his eyebrow and used his hands to pat my cheeks, “Grandma’s super old so, don’t listen to her since my younger brother is…”

No matter when, no matter what, this big bro of mine will always be smiling.

“…such a good child…”

As if he was saying that all the words he’d spoken were all ‘true’.

When I’d grown up and looked back at those times…

…the me in those days had done so many evil things. I wanted to apologise to so many people…

…even if they might not have the chance to listen to it…

…or might not want to listen to it at all…

[Teatime behind the curtains -if lil’ sis did not exist in this world-]

Gilbert: “I’ve died and was transported into a BL game…”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’s sis: “You should’ve died when you were born since there aren’t any servant like elder brother in this world, how are you going to live? You’ve got such a despicable personality after all!”

Elder brother: “Yeah, in this world, there’s no one who can love and spoil you more than me.”

Gilbert: “Isn’t the reason that I was violent ever since I was child was because you used to tell me that everything I did was acceptable all the time?”

Elder brother: “…and have you done anything wrong?”

Gilbert: “Hey, lil’s sis, thank your elder brother for also raising you up!”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’s sis: “No way! Sigh, it’s great that elder brother isn’t in this world.”

Gilbert: “So your BL novels will not be thrown into the trash?”

Psychotic fujoshi lil’s sis: “Not that but I’m scared that elder brother will kill my Nigel and Haref!”

Elder brother: “…”

Elder brother: “…”

Elder brother: “…”

Elder brother: “…I won’t do it since it’s a bad thing to do.”

Gilbert/Psychotic fujoshi lil’s sis: “There’s no way we’ll believe you!”

Author’s note:

I think a major factor which has contributed to Gil’s twisted personality is his elder bother! Don’t you feel that when we go back to the past, Gil is similar to his elder brother. Gil may not know but he has taken in a lot of things from his elder brother – he’s even copying his elder brother’s actions and thoughts.

In truth, this elder brother is even more twisted than Gil. Sadly, we won’t be able to see how twisted he is fully. We’ll only be able to see him through stories and Gil’s memories, we’ll also see the reason as to what made Gilbert twisted.

I actually like this elder brother vey much. From my perspective, some sort of insanity is hidden within him but he’ll always be soft towards his younger brother, making him fail in raising up a child into a respectable member of society! Still, despite of all this, he still has his charms which are undoubtedly interesting…

Some people have expressed their wish of him appearing in this world but since his personality is like this, would you still want him to appear?

For those who has reread this chapter and wondered about the fact that Gil said his elder brother rarely smiles/ he’s not close to his elder brother or anything along those line, please wait for future chapters since this is only what happened in Gil’s childhood before his elder brother disappeared for 6 years before returning – there’s a lot of time difference.

My friend asked me, this elder brother seemed to love younger sister when she’s grown up, the answer is that his love towards her increased because his younger brother loves her but he doesn’t spoils her like he does with his younger brother or else, how could he throw out her BL novels?

Translator’s note:

I’ve decided to change how Gilbert calls his elder brother and his lil’ sis since I had an impression that Gilbert was closer to his elder brother when he was a child but was not close to his lil’ sis. However, Cass will still call Gilbert ‘elder brother’ since in the original novel, Cass is always calling Gilbert respectfully.

I said there was worse but it will not be here for a while, you can all relax.

As for those who are wondering how could Gilbert recall his memories so clearly, you’ll find the answer in a short while.

P.S. Lil’ sis’ mum is an asshole.