CH 103

The End

For the last time, Song Yuan took Rong Ting to get a health checkup. Rong Ting was in good health, and almost all of the vaccines that could be made up were made up in the past six months. Song Yuan wrote down Rong Ting’s height, weight, and even head circumference. The doctors all praised Rong Ting–he was in excellent health, and all his data met the standards.If he could not be a picky eater, it would be best.

There was a height measure at home. With reddened eyes, Song Yuan wrote a note on the wall–Gugu’s height, six years old.

Rong Ting silently watched her do all this and exhaled a soft sigh. He returned to his room and secretly placed the diary she’d previously bought for him and its key in her desk drawer. After he left, he wanted Empress Mother to read it.

Song Yuan gave Rong Heng her Buddha jade pendant. She still remembered what Rong Ting had said to her just after he transmigrated. Thinking about it now, maybe the jade pendant really did play a protective role; Rong Ting made it out unharmed, but Rong Heng was seriously injured and almost died.

Song Yuan could accept Rong Ting returning to ancient times and going back to his original place, but she couldn’t accept watching him disappear in front of her. On this day, just as usual, she put on makeup and put on clothes. She hugged Rong Ting, saying in a soft voice, “Empress Mother is going out. You listen to your Emperor Father at home and be a good boy.”

She acted as though she was going to work, as if… she could see him when she came back.

Rong Ting had changed into his robes. He clenched his fists with a look of reluctance, but he still nodded vigorously. “En, I will listen to Emperor Father. I will eat well and grow up well. Even if I don’t like eating vegetables, I will eat some more. Try not to read at night to protect your eyes.”

It wasn’t that Rong Ting had never thought about staying, but the books found everywhere in the house revealed his heart.

He wanted to be a good emperor. He wanted to be an emperor who let the people suffer less.

Empress Mother, I’m sorry. This son cannot fulfill his filial duties to his mother.

Song Yuan held back her tears and smiled. “Do you remember the way back?”

Rong Ting nodded. “I remember.”

“That’s good.” Song Yuan pursed her lips. “I will live a happy life. When you come back, let’s be together again.”

She was lying to Rong Ting.

She felt that in this life, she would never fall in love with someone else. She would never marry someone else or have more children.

The father and son walked her to the elevator doors. Rong Heng suddenly brought out two keys from his pocket and handed them to her, saying in a deep voice, “This one is the key to my current residence, and this one is for the study. I left something for you there. You should check it out when you have time.”

Song Yuan took the two keys, letting out a low ‘en.’

She walked into the elevator. As the doors slid shut, she could no longer control herself. She covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed, afraid that the sounds of her crying would be heard by Rong Ting.

Some people say that all the love in the world was for coming together, and only the love of a parent led to parting.

She didn’t understand what it meant when she first saw it, but now she vaguely understood.

After all, she was just a passerby in Rong Ting’s grand and glorious life.

If she was unable to accompany him, she shouldn’t stop him.

What Song Yuan didn’t know was, after the elevator doors shut, Rong Ting stared blankly at the doors, tears silently flowing from his eyes. Rong Heng squatted down and held him in his arms, clumsily but tenderly patting his back. His voice was also somewhat choked. “Alright, we have our own business to handle, and she has her life. Rong Ting, don’t cry.”

This person who coaxed his son not to cry also had a face wet with tears.

“Emperor Father, I hate you.”

“En, okay.”

Song Yuan wandered aimlessly on the streets. At one point, she accidentally touched the keys in her pockets. After some thought, she hailed down a cab and went to Rong Heng’s residence.

When she opened the door with the key, his unique aura seemed to wash over her.

She sniffed carefully. In fact, there was no smell at all; the furniture and decorations in the house looked very cold and cheerless, just like him. There was almost no dust in the living room, but she still changed out of her shoes and made her way over to his study. She took out the key, unlocked the tightly shut door, and walked in. His desk was full of mounted and rolled up paintings and calligraphy scrolls, nearly piling up to become a small hill.

She made her way to the desk. Somehow, she vaguely knew that this was the thing he had left for her.

She hesitantly picked up one of the scrolls and slowly unfurled it. Gradually, she uncovered the woman in the painting.

There were a total of 23 paintings, all of them paintings of her.

Her standing under the plum blossoms in a cloak, her sulking on a stone bench, her kicking a shuttlecock…

The painter seemed to have captured all her expressions and her appearance in his heart. Unknowingly, tears spilled from her eyes, dripping onto the painting.

This was what he had left for her? She seemed to see and understand all his thoughts of those five years. At this moment, she suddenly felt that all those things that estranged them back then seemed insignificant. All the resentment and blame, everything was meaningless.

She seemed to have returned to that year. In the beginning, she had liked him purely and simply, liked him so much that she wanted to stay and grow old with this person, even feeling willing to endure hardships. How could she have possibly stopped loving him later? If there was no love, how could there be Rong Ting? If there was no love, how could Rong Ting have been born? If there was no love, how could she be feeling a piercing heartache at this moment?

She stayed in the study for a long time. When she rolled up the paintings and prepared to put them away, she spotted a piece of paper, pressed under a photo frame.

At first, she thought it was for her and picked it up. What entered her eyes was a familiar handwriting. She glanced at the heading and realized that this letter wasn’t left for her.

The contents of the letter were simple. It only said that if Mrs. Xie could see this letter, please read it.

Rong Heng introduced his origins in a few strokes. At the end of the letter he wrote: You once asked me if I had any wishes or requests. Now, Xie Heng is dead. I only wish to protect my wife for her whole life.

Song Yuan lowered her head and burst into tears.

Later, when she returned home, Song Yuan discovered the diary Rong Ting had left behind for her. This child, he didn’t like writing in his diary. The contents were so halfhearted that it made people laugh–

Monday, light rain.

Empress Mother asked me to start keeping a diary and write down happy and unhappy things every day. My mood is the same every day. It can’t be said to be good, but it can’t be said to be bad, either. Actually, I don’t like singing. I secretly sang a few verses in the bathroom, and it was really awful. Also, I don’t know how to sing the songs here. The chicken wings made by Empress Mother today are very delicious.

Wednesday, fair weather.

I suspect that Emperor Father does not have amnesia, but I have no evidence. But I will find evidence.

Sunday, overcast to cloudy.

La la la la la la la la la, still not happy or unhappy, just okay! The lipstick Empress Mother put on today is really ugly, but I can’t tell the truth. I can only say it looks good.

Wednesday, cloudy.

I hate Emperor Father!!! Hate!!! Emperor Father is sinister, cunning, and scheming. Empress Mother is not his match. Emperor Father seems to want to have me say good words in front of Empress Mother, but that is impossible! Liars do not deserve anyone’s help.

Tuesday, fair weather.

I am more and more unable to understand Emperor Father and Empress Mother’s relationship. Forget it, it has nothing to do with me. Don’t mind it.

Thursday, heavy rain.

Women are really troublesome, including Empress Mother. How can they go shopping for several hours? Are they not tired? How mystical. In this life, I will never go shopping with a second woman. No one can make me compromise, except Empress Mother.

She turned to the last page, a poem. Beneath it, Rong Ting wrote in pencil: I did not write this poem. The Grand Tutor once told me that I am not good at composing poems. I admit it, but I like this poem very much because this is how I think.

“You asked me what I was doing before I was born, and I answered that I was in the sky choosing my mom. I saw you and felt that you were very good. I wanted to be your child, but I thought that I may not have that luck. Unexpectedly, the next day, I was already in your tummy.”

Song Yuan saw this, and first, the corners of her lips curled up. Then she pressed the diary to her chest, uncontrollably bursting into tears.

She wasn’t a good mom! She only brought him into this world and accompanied him for a few days. For a person like her to have such a good child, she must have saved the galaxy in her past life.

What should I do, Gugu? Empress Mother may never want to have a child other than you in this life.

Except for you, Empress Mother doesn’t want to be anyone else’s mom.

Under her parents’ arrangements, Song Yuan chose to go abroad to relax. She’d lost a lot of weight during this period, spending every day looking at the clothes Rong Ting had left behind and feeling distraught. She had promised him she would laugh and wouldn’t cry when she thought of him.

In the few months since Rong Ting left, Song Yuan’s mood had gradually settled down. She traveled to many places, met many people, and met many friends. There were also some people who pursued her, but she found that, just as Rong Heng wished, she seemed to be unable to fall in love with other people, and every time someone said they liked her, she would always think of him.

Time was a powerful force, and all the unhappiness was washed away. Now, when she thought of him, she could only remember all the beautiful and happy things.

No one would love her like he would ever again. They say that it takes a hundred days to heal a broken bone1. After experiencing so many things, after going through the agony of separation, could she still get better in this life?

But good or bad, she had to live earnestly and happily. That was the wish of the two people she loved, wasn’t it?

During her time abroad, she came across a novel.

It was a very popular novel. Last year, it was adapted into a drama and also sparked a lot of discussion on Weibo. She also increasingly got the feeling that this novel was about the story between her and Rong Heng.

She read the ending of the book on the train.

There were two extras. One extra was about the male and female lead’s son, written from the perspective of a eunuch by the crown prince’s side.

The crown prince missed his mother, Empress Ren De. During times when he felt moody, he would go to Empress Ren De’s Kunning Palace to be alone. Sometimes, he would stay overnight in Kunning Palace. This was completely unreasonable, but a pity that this crown [rince was the only child by the emperor’s knees, and the emperor pampered him very much. The emperor didn’t speak, so who would dare to nag to the crown prince’s face?

Which of the ministers in the court did not know that Empress Ren De passed away of illness when the crown prince was still in swaddling clothes? This was another family’s child who misses his Empress Mother–could they still stop it?

The crown prince was not adept at poetry, but ten of the poems he wrote were about Empress Ren De.

Once, when the crown prince fell ill, he called for Empress Mother in his dreams. His Majesty guarded him the whole night without sleeping. The eunuch quietly discovered that when the crown prince called for his Empress Mother, His Majesty buried his head in the quilt, his shoulders quaking. He seemed to be crying.

The most noble father and son, one missing his mother, and one missing his wife.

The strangest thing was that His Majesty gave the crown prince a little milk dog, and the crown prince unexpectedly named it Durian and loved it very much.

When Song Yuan read this, there was a deep smile in her eyes. She knew it–once this kid went back, he definitely missed everything here, including durians.

Now when she thought of Rong Ting, she was able to calm down.

How wonderful; she read in the book that her child was indeed growing up healthy.

The other extra was written about His Majesty, the emperor.

His Majesty was diligent in political affairs and never stepped foot into the harem. When the crown prince was thirteen years old, he collapsed from exhaustion and died of illness at the age of 37. After his passing, he was buried with Empress Ren De. Some people praised that before His Majesty ascended to the throne, his painting and calligraphy were unparalleled, but for some reason, following Empress Ren De’s death, he never painted or wrote poems again.

The age of 37…

When Song Yuan saw this, her vision blurred. Died at 37? How could this be? Didn’t he even cherish his own body?

Song Yuan initially thought that she could quickly accept their separation, that her mood would quickly settle down. But at this moment, her heart felt smothered. It seemed to have been seized and torn apart.

Song Yuan stood on the streets of a foreign country, lost and confused. She didn’t even know when it had started raining.

When she came to, she quickly took shelter under a roof and crouched down. She quietly stared at a puddle on the ground. When it rained, she seemed to be able to clearly feel the passage of time.

She didn’t know when this journey would end, nor where she would end up.

Didn’t you say that even if we aren’t in the same time and space, we would live well? Why did you leave so young?

She didn’t know for how long she looked down at the ground in a dream, when a pair of black leather shoes appeared in her line of sight, standing very close to her. She unconsciously raised her head. The man holding the umbrella looked very handsome, his head of white hair extremely eye-catching. Two pairs of eyes locked gazes, and he smiled gently. “Long time no see.”

The author has something to say:

The poem Gugu wrote in the diary exists in real life. It’s 《I Picked Mama》2. The author is a little kid who wrote this poem at 6 years old. There may be many people who are dissatisfied with this ending, but this is the ending. It’s the one decided when I first started this work, with no changes.

There are also extras. There should be a new chapter today about Gugu la.

[1] 伤筋动骨一百天: not referring to a literal injury in this case, obviously

[2] You can read a blog post about the poem here.

Cheese: despite the title, there are still 8 more chapters!

thoughts on the ending?