CH 97

What he promised, of course he would fulfill.

Song Yuan was truly dumbfounded.

It was difficult for her not to define his behavior as a marriage proposal. If it wasn’t, what was he doing giving her a diamond ring and saying these words? But if it was, why did she feel like something wasn’t right? Proposing marriage at this moment really didn’t seem like his style.

He should know that she wouldn’t accept his proposal right now. Then why was he doing this? In her memory, he was a person who didn’t like being rejected. Just like when he first transmigrated–he deliberately pretended to have lost his memories to approach her. It was because he knew her; once she knew his true identity, knew that he had his memories, she would never approach him again.

After Song Yuan thought this point through, she solemnly asked him, brows furrowed, “What’s going on with you, did something happen?”

Rong Heng’s heart eased. Suddenly, he smiled.

At this moment, he seemed to have returned to the appearance from when they first met, so relaxed and calm.

“Look, you still know me very well.” Rong Heng smoothly placed the ring on the table. He walked to the floor-to-ceiling window, gazing down on the community. He turned his head. Under the sun, his hair didn’t look white, but silver, softening his appearance.

“Yuanyuan, I’m going back.” Rong Heng’s gaze was warm as he looked at her. “In fact, coming here was an accident. At that time, I missed you so much. I looked through ancient texts and consulted the State Preceptor. The State Preceptor said I am someone of fate within the Great Ye dynasty, and I cannot be away for too long. It was once recorded that someone tried this method and had a fortuitous encounter, but after he returned, he didn’t live to be forty. This is a life-harming act, so the book was banned.”

“The State Preceptor told me not to dwell on the past too much, that your arrival and departure are all destined, and that I couldn’t force it. But I didn’t believe it. At first, I just wanted to ask you, was it truly your intention to leave me? But after coming, I became greedy. I wanted you to come back to me.”

Song Yuan stared blankly.

“Do you believe me, that I’m not such a person? In the five years you left, other than thinking of you, I continued to do the things an emperor should do. To me, to be a good emperor is my duty. If I couldn’t become a good husband, please forgive me.”

Song Yuan’s hands trembled at these words. Fearing she would drop the bowl, she placed it on the table. Her nose began to sting. “You, you’re going back?”

“En.” Rong Heng nodded with a slight smile. “I’m going back to where I came from. I’m sorry. I should be asking for your forgiveness, but I can’t let go of the Great Ye dynasty, or my country, or my people. I’m going back. As for Rong Ting,” he paused, “You should ask him. You may not want Rong Ting to leave you. If he wants to stay here, then let him stay here.”

She didn’t know how much courage and strength it took for him to make this decision.

This decision was probably… the least like something he would do.

As far back as he could remember, no matter what he did or said, he would first consider his own interests. This was probably the first time–the first time he acted like a saint.

“You…” Song Yuan’s throat burned as soon as she opened her mouth. There was so much she wanted to say, but she didn’t know where to start.

She had never considered this to be a possibility.

Wasn’t transmigrating something that couldn’t be controlled? Just like her… It wasn’t her idea to transmigrate to ancient times, and it also surprised her to be able to transmigrate back. Thinking back, she’d been despondent all day. It hurt to think about her parents from modern times, and thinking of her brother who died in battle, she felt even more suffocated, to the point she almost couldn’t breathe. Could it be the power of one’s mind1 that made traveling through space-time possible?

This time, both Rong Ting and Rong Heng had transmigrated. She thought things would be like this, that they would never be able to go back. She even worried that Rong Ting would be unable to blend in with children his age. But now she heard him say–he was going back.

“I’m sorry.” The number of times Rong Heng had said sorry today surpassed the number of times he’d said it in all his years until now.

His gaze was distressed, but also resolute. “I don’t know if you can understand me this time as you did before. Do you remember what I told you? For me, even my own life is not as important as the country and its people. My duty is not yet fulfilled. I can’t let go of the country Qingrong pledged his life to defend. Speaking of Qingrong, the day before you married into the palace, he came to find me. We drank and talked about many things. He told me, he wanted to use his blood and head in exchange for your peace in the palace.”

Song Yuan’s eyes grew hot at the mention of Meng Qingrong.

“At that time, I gave him my vow that you would be able to live well in the palace. Thinking back on it now, I’ve broken my promise. It seemed there was never a day when you were happy there. Qingrong had a vast heart. He held you, held the commoners, held the ten thousand li of mountains and rivers in his heart. I’ve never doubted him for an instant. I’m not afraid of you laughing at me when I say I was just a little jealous of him. Jealous that you cared for and trusted him like that.” Rong Heng let out a laugh as he gave voice to these words.

His magnanimity was scarce, his temper eccentric and overbearing. He wore a dragon robe and sat on the throne, yet he still worried about personal gains and losses.

Song Yuan watched him blankly, not even noticing her falling tears.

Rong Heng was in a strange mood. Seeing her tears, he actually felt a bit happy. It turns out that she could still feel anguish for him once in this lifetime.

Song Yuan felt extreme sorrow.

She may have blamed him, and hated him, but those emotions were gone now. She should have been happy to hear that he was going back, right? But she didn’t. She was just… a bit lost. There was a bit of panic that even she didn’t notice.

Because she knew. Once he went back, it was goodbye.

“At first, I wanted to deceive you into going back.” Rong Heng looked into her teary eyes, speaking in a low voice. “My plan was, if you refused to go back, I would try to trick you into returning. Once you were back, maybe you would accept it soon.”

Song Yuan shot him a watery look of surprise.

“I know, I’m a bastard. You can think of me as possessed and crazy.” Rong Heng lowered his gaze. “I promptly caught myself and suddenly thought that it was meaningless. You wouldn’t know, in those five years, outside of handling government affairs, I was simply passing the days. What I said to you that day is true. If not for those five years, maybe I would have repeated my actions from back then. But after those five years, how could I be willing? How could I be willing for you to return to my side against your own wishes?”

“I want you to be wholly willing. I want you to joyfully accept.”

To her, he devoted everything but the throne. For her, his hair turned white. For her, he vomited blood. For her, he endured five years of loneliness. Could it be he must beg for a laughable conclusion where she existed by his side in body but not in spirit2?

Song Yuan didn’t know what to say. She only felt her nose sting, her eyes burn, and a gradual swelling of sorrow.

The outside sun was warm, but her hands and feet felt ice-cold.

He said so much, but she didn’t know how to respond to him.

He came to the modern times and couldn’t let go of his country and duty, and she was the same. If she returned to ancient times out of a moment of wistful desire, how ridiculous it would be…

She knew that he said these words to her with complete sincerity, but he didn’t fall into delusion and hope that she would go back with him after listening to him speak.

“I…”

Rong Heng watched her, recalling many things from the past, and stepped forward. He stretched his hand out and, in the span of time she stood frozen, softly pulled her into his arms.

His nose was filled with her scent. Eyes slightly narrowed, he recalled the spring rain of their first encounter.

This time, Song Yuan didn’t reject his embrace.

But what she recalled was the heavy snowfall of that year. He’d had a rare moment of leisure and had brought her to see the palace’s plum garden. He had held her hand as they admired the plum blossoms in the pavilion. At that time, he had also embraced her like this.

“Before, I was afraid of losing you, and so ignoring your wishes, I wrote an imperial decree to marry you. Now, I’m still afraid of losing you, but I don’t want to lie to you again.”

Rong Heng’s voice was low. “I already know your answer. I’ve always known. That ring, you keep it. It’s what Ziheng owes you.”

He had once promised her, in the future he would give her a diamond ring, and propose to her in accordance with the customs of her hometown, so as to not let her have any regrets.

What he promised, of course he would fulfill.

The author has something to say:

It’s NOT over!!! There’s still a lot left to explain! Don’t misunderstand!

Earlier some readers said they don’t understand the plot

The ML has, in fact, finished thinking on things. I know a lot of readers think he’s a dog, but I’ve really beautified the role of an emperor in this novel. He’s the emperor, and he’s already devoted everything within his abilities for his feelings and for this person. He’s also someone with dignity and flesh and blood. A ridiculous thing like keeping her by his side through any means, even if the person he loves doesn’t love him, is enough after doing it once and acting like a fool once, really.

He doesn’t want an ending like this, he just wants to be a bit more clear headed.

I feel like the ending is happy, a little like breaking through in a moment of impending doom3?

Of course, the FL won’t go back to ancient times (don’t expect her to act like a good mom who denies herself for her child and goes back to ancient times. Then she’d be a total joke)

[Author thanks readers for sending fertilizers and landmines, promises to work hard]

[1] 精神: spirit, mind, or consciousness

[2] 人在心不在: the person (body) exists but not the heart (feelings)

[3] 置之死地而后生: place somebody on a field of death and he will fight to live. A military philosophy where if your soldiers were placed in an impossible situation where the only way to survive is to break through, they would advance bravely and win

Cheese: thanksgiving break soon, very happy