No One Knows Part 40

"Of course. I'm sorry, I should have asked."

He let her go.

She still couldn't breathe. She couldn't do this. This was not part of the bargain.

There was a pay phone near the bathrooms out of the table's line of sight. She popped in a few quarters and dialed a number she'd memorized.

The phone rang twice. A deep voice answered.

"Yes?"

She swallowed hard, fighting the tears that rose unbidden.

"Arlo? It's Aubrey."

CHAPTER 69.

Fairy tales don't come true. Parents die and leave you alone in the world. Little girls get molested. Lovers die; husbands lie, and disappear, then try to pretend all is well.

Aubrey hadn't thought her heart could break anymore. She was wrong.

She hung up the phone and made her way back to the table. The champagne had arrived. The sommelier popped the cork expertly and poured. They clinked glasses. She took a deep drink, praying she didn't lose her nerve.

Arlo promised it wouldn't take them long.

And she needed to make a clean break.

Josh watched her for a long moment. "So. Where do you want to go, my darling? Anywhere in the world. What do you want? You say the word, and it's yours. I can finally give you the life you always wanted."

"No."

His face changed, a shadow crossing his unfamiliar eyes. "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, no. As in, no way in hell. I don't want to live in South America. I don't want to have surgery, change how I look. I don't want to play this game." Careful, girl. Careful.

"What game? I'm serious, Aubrey."

"Serious about what, Josh? After all of this, did you actually think we were going to live happily ever after, safely ensconced in your new little world?"

He looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. She could almost hear his thoughts: Who is this woman? Did I create her? Or is this who she's always been?

She'd been a criminal once, and here he was, asking her to go back to her old ways. But she'd changed, damn it. She'd changed for him. Hadn't she?

His voice was tight, his face hard. "I thought you'd want to be with me. With your husband. Do you know what I've gone through to keep you safe?"

"I don't care. Jesus God, Josh, do you have any idea what you put me through? Did you ever stop to think about what I've been dealing with all these years without you?"

He whispered, harsh and wild, "Why is it always about you? What about me? Playing dead isn't the easiest thing, you know. I gave up my life to keep you safe. And the surgeries, all the planning, sleeping with one eye open all the time . . . My God, Aubrey, I did this for you. For us. I've sacrificed the last five years to find us a safe place to live, a safe way to go on with our lives."

Aubrey shook her head, her curly hair standing on end from her hands restlessly pushing it out of her face. His face was hard. She didn't recognize him anymore, and it wasn't just the surgery.

"Please. You did this for you, Josh. Not me. Not us. There is no us. Not anymore."

She couldn't believe the tone coming out of her mouth, one she'd never used with him, one of derision and hate. Josh flinched like she'd hit him.

She crossed her arms and stared out at the sea of faces in the restaurant.

"This is over."

"What?" His voice was filled with dismay.

Aubrey spoke slowly, enunciating every word. "I'm going home. You can go on living this pathetic little life, but I don't want you anymore."

"Is it my face? I can have more surgery, go back to how I looked before."

She shook her head.

"You betrayed me, Josh. I can't do this. I can't pretend that all is well. I know this was hard on you-but Jesus, I've been grieving your death for five years. Five years. I've been through hell. I nearly died."

"I know."

She whipped her head toward him again.

"What do you mean, you know? You've been keeping tabs on me this whole time?"

"Yes. I risked a few trips back to see you. I couldn't stand to be apart. I've been watching over you, darling. And it was almost like you could feel me, my presence. When I was there, you'd look around like you knew I was watching. You even saw me a few times. I was trying to let you know I was okay, but you'd go straight to Meghan, who told you how crazy you were and dragged you to that stupid therapist. Fucking Meghan, messing with your head all this time. I should kill her."

Aubrey pulled in a breath. She couldn't believe the words she'd just heard. Had he just admitted . . .

"All those times I thought I saw you-"

"You did. That was me."

"Cruel," she whispered. Something inside her started to break, an unbearable rift forming. "How could you be so cruel?"

"I thought you'd understand. I thought you loved me."

"You used to be an honorable man, Josh. One who wanted to help people. One who wasn't seduced by the trappings of wealth and privilege. That's the man I loved. I don't even know who you are anymore."

Loved. She heard the past tense and realized it was true.

"I can't pretend this is all okay. You've been gone so long. I don't want to live a life on the run. I want to settle down. To have a family. Remember all the things we used to want? The dreams we had together?"

He was begging, pleading. "We'll have them now, Aubrey. It's over. I can finally give you the world."

"I don't want the world. I want to know that I can trust you. And I can't."

He set his glass on the table. "Of course you can. I'm the only one you really can trust."

She shook her head. "You always said that. I don't think it's true."

"I don't understand."

She looked at him, let all the walls down, let all the hurt and anger and fury and loss crowd into her eyes.

"You do understand."

"It's Chase. You want to be with him instead of me." His voice was tinged with frost.

She started to laugh. She didn't find his statement humorous, far from it.

"You have it all wrong, Josh. Yes, I have feelings for Chase, but that's not what this is about. You've betrayed me, in the worst possible way."

Pain in his eyes, sharp and intense. "Don't do this," Josh pleaded. "Don't do this to us. Not now. Not when I've made it all work."

She saw Arlo enter the room, with several plainclothes cops.

She stood. "Josh, you did this to us. Not me. I was just along for the ride."

He looked up at her. He had aged so much since he left. There was gray at his temples, lines on his face. Lines and gray they should have earned together, not apart.

"Aubrey, I still love you. Only you. You've been the love of my life since I was a boy. I don't know how to do this without you."

Without her. He'd done everything without her. Made life-altering decisions, turned into a criminal, disappeared.

"You managed for the last five years. Six, really, if you count all the lies you spun before you died."

He was starting to panic. Gone was the smooth man, replaced by the little boy she'd grown to love, the one who'd fallen prey to his fears.

"Aubrey, we're bound together. We always have been. We're meant to be together. You waited for me, for Christ's sake. How can you do this?"

"How can I do this?"

He was crying now. She couldn't handle that. It thrust forth the memory of the day he found out his father wasn't dead after all, but alive and well and fresh out of jail, and he'd just collapsed to the ground in the park, empty and broken, and cried. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't. The pressure was building, the words forming in her throat.

Don't. Don't. Don't say it.

People were starting to watch them now, forks poised above plates, glasses held in midair. She saw Arlo and his men out of the corner of her eye, waiting. This was how it had to be. Josh had to pay for his crimes. That was the right thing. And she had to pay for hers.

She nodded at Arlo, and he approached the table.

When Josh saw his best friend, he froze in place. His face turned white, his eyes wild.

"Oh, Aubrey," Josh whispered. "What have you done?"

What have I done? What have I done? He's right. I did this. It was all my fault.

Arlo stepped closer to the table. "Don't fight me, Josh. We'll get this worked out. But you're going to have to surrender yourself to Metro. It's time for you to come with me."

Josh looked frantically from Aubrey to Arlo. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening. You turned me in? Oh, my God, Aubrey. How could you?"

How could you, how could you, how could you?

She felt the tearing of her soul, the rage spilling into her bloodstream.

"How could I? You son of a bitch! You left me here all alone. You lied to me. You promised!"

The dam broke, and she launched at him, fists meeting his face, the fury of the past five years unleashing at last. Her voice was a wail, and her emotions, unchecked at last, allowed the words to come out. She couldn't stop them, couldn't stop herself; she was screaming them, over and over and over, sobs wrenching from her as she pounded her clenched hands against his chest.

She screamed until Arlo wrapped his arms around her and dragged her forcibly from the restaurant. Screamed until the men came to take her away, and shoved the needle into her arm with the sedative, and even then, as she faded into the darkness, she couldn't stop.

"We had a deal, Josh. We had a deal. We had a deal. We had a deal."

CHAPTER 70.

Josh and Aubrey Five Years Ago Josh paced the living room. He had no choice; he couldn't do this himself. It would take time, and coordination, and he'd looked at every angle, every option, and there was nothing to be done for it. Aubrey would need to be involved.

Would she go for it? Or would she take a knife to his balls in the middle of the night? He really didn't know for sure.

He straightened at the sound of the garage door, the gorgeous specialty doors that looked like the front of a barn, stained a dark brown to match the front door and the stone face of the house. She'd taken the Audi to Whole Foods, would be laden down with bags of healthy food.

He needed a drink.

He went to the wet bar in the corner, poured a Scotch, drank it down. Liquid courage.

His wife's voice, sugar and light. "Hon, are you here?"

"In the living room," he called.

She came in with a smile on her face, holding a sheaf of paper. "Did you see this? Can you believe it? They screwed up the insurance, your mom's name isn't on it. They put me down as beneficiary. Daisy is going to shit herself when she realizes."

"Aubrey, honey. Come here. Sit down. We need to talk."

The smile fled. The gravity of his tone was no comfort; he couldn't help it. There was simply no good way to broach the subject, so he rushed in. He reached for her hand, caught it.

"The bank didn't make a mistake. I made you the beneficiary."