Chapter 83

There are many reasons for dropping a work you were watching. It could be because it doesn’t suit your taste, or the plot doesn’t appeal to you, or you simply forgot to watch it after missing a day, or because the spring breeze is warm. Anyway, there are various reasons.

And the reason I dropped the original work of this world was due to the first two reasons. It was a work I stumbled upon while aimlessly browsing for something to watch, and it wasn’t really my taste, and the plot was quite depressing. Among these, the plot was particularly shocking.

"How could you do that to a little kid?"

If Louise were a reincarnated or possessed character, I could understand. After all, she would be an adult in a child’s body. Even if she were a time traveler, I could accept it with some reluctance. Unfortunately, Louise was a pure little girl who didn’t fit into any of those categories.

The original author gave an 8-year-old child, who was both physically and mentally young, a trial that was too harsh. Seeing that, I quickly dropped it, thinking, "Ah, this is a bit much." At the time, I didn’t know that my life would also become bitter, but at least I had experienced it as an adult.

"If you weren’t there..."

The last line of the person who became Louise’s sister. The relationship between the Nierd sisters could be described as a cliché.

A younger sister born frail and receiving the family’s attention, a younger sister who, despite being weak, always smiled and was loved by everyone, an older sister who, despite liking her younger sister, began to feel jealous as the attention and love shifted to herself, and the older sister’s illness, which no one noticed because everyone was focused on the younger sister.

The older sister’s resentful gaze at Louise, even as her eyes closed due to the late discovery of her illness, was truly memorable. The artwork was also excellent, making it even more vivid. Louise’s pale face was also well-drawn. I didn’t particularly want to see such high-quality content.

Casually turning my gaze to Louise, I saw her making macarons as requested, with her usual bright smile.

'Impressive.'

How could she be so bright after going through such experiences at a young age? Of course, Louise wasn’t a psychopath who didn’t grieve over her sister’s death. She was deeply shocked and depressed at the time. It was around this period that she met the protagonist of the story.

However, whether due to some event or her own resolve, the current Louise grew up to be a bright and kind person. Honestly, the reason I didn’t recognize Louise on the first day of the academy was not just because she had grown, but also because her demeanor had become brighter.

How could I have predicted that a child who went through such experiences would be so bright? I thought the charm that could captivate people would be based on something more tragic or similar.

"It’s done!"

After a moment of looking at Louise with pity, the news of completion spread, and the hyenas pounced again.

Strangely, macarons seem to be particularly well-liked. What’s up with these guys? Is it a matter of taste or are they just picky eaters? Did they really dislike cookies that much?

***

The topic had drifted to family, so I quietly closed my mouth. I’m not in a position to talk about my family happily.

Still, I can’t show discomfort. If I react negatively, it would be like advertising that I have bad memories. It’s none of their business.

I just need to stay quiet. If I stay quiet, no one will pay attention. After all, it’s just a casual topic, so there’s no need to worry.

"I’m in pain too, why only you!"

"If you weren’t there..."

The last words my sister left me echoed in my mind, and I bit my lip slightly. Like something rising from the depths, my sister’s words resurface without my intention.

I can never forget those words. How could I forget? They were my sister’s last words, and she essentially died because of me. If I hadn’t been there, my sister wouldn’t have ended up like that.

"Hilda left because of us. She left because she hated us. Louise, it’s not your fault."

Father said that. Mother, despite crying many times over my sister’s death, never blamed me. But how many parents blame their children?

If I were to share the responsibility, my share would be the largest. I was happy with the family’s attention and love, and I acted more spoiled because I was taken care of by the family. I even coveted the attention that should have gone to my sister.

'I shouldn’t have done that.'

It’s my fault. I monopolized the love that should have been shared equally. If I hadn’t been there, my sister would have been loved and lived happily. Love should be distributed fairly, not to just one person.

Just as I was about to bow my head, overwhelmed by the guilt rising in my heart, I met my brother’s eyes.

No, I can’t show him a dark side. He just turned his gaze away. He might be disappointed if he sees me like this.

"Let’s end the family talk here. If we keep this up, we might hear royal secrets and have to cut off our ears."

But contrary to my worries, my brother ended the conversation. He didn’t look disappointed by my expression but rather showed consideration. And he suddenly asked me to make more macarons.

Anyone could tell it was a blatant act of consideration. He said he enjoyed the macarons and wanted more, even though he didn’t really eat much. He couldn’t even taste them properly.

'He must have been flustered.'

It seemed he was trying to change the atmosphere with a strange excuse. Glancing at my brother, his eyes were moving around, unlike his usual calm demeanor.

I almost laughed and almost cried. It was so touching that he was so considerate of a situation that could have been overlooked or could have disappointed him.

I’m grateful, even though he doesn’t know what I’ve been through or what I’m thinking. He’s worried just by looking at my expression.

'Thank you.'

I couldn’t say it out loud, so I mumbled it to myself. If I suddenly said thank you, the others would think it was strange.

"It’s done!"

So I called out brightly as usual. Accepting my brother’s consideration and regaining my composure was the only way I could repay him.

"They’re delicious, Miss Louise. You really make them well."

Ainter’s words made me realize I had forgotten to add the herbs.

Since my brother can’t taste well, I should have added something good for his health. The others probably eat a lot of sweets, so I should take care of their health too.

...Yeah. Well, maybe it’s okay for one day.

***

Fortunately, Louise was smiling brightly until the club ended. Of course, I can’t know what she’s feeling inside.

I don’t even know how Louise deals with her childhood trauma. She might have overcome it completely, or she might still be struggling with it. I thought she had overcome it because she usually seems cheerful, but her expression today suggests otherwise.

'What can I do?'

I’m worried, but I can only show the same level of consideration I did today. Comforting her if she looks sad and changing the topic if it’s uncomfortable. Anything more is impossible.

I’m officially unaware of Louise’s past. If I knew her past and gave advice or showed concern, it would be strange.

"...How does Brother Karl know that?"

I imagine this would be her reaction. I’d become a crazy stalker right there. Even worse, as the head of the inspection department, I’d evolve from a "creepy stalker" to a "vicious inspection department head who knows about the family and past."

That would scare Louise so much that she’d run away. I’d lose my relationship with Louise to restore my relationship with Irena. What a ridiculous trade-off.

Anyway, Louise’s trauma is a problem that needs to be addressed by sharing it with someone she trusts. If she hasn’t resolved it on her own, sharing it with someone she trusts might help.

'She’s just a kid with a heavy mouth.'

The kid who told me to share my problems is keeping her own problems to herself.

I feel a bit annoyed, but more concerned, so I end up treating Louise well. Maybe it’s a sense of pity I feel when I see a poor girl. Does this child know what happiness is?

"Hopeless."

I sighed, frustrated. The biggest problem is that Louise doesn’t have anyone to share her problems with. If one of the five club members became close to Louise, she would probably open up. But they’re all just competing and bickering.

Louise, who thinks she caused her sister’s death by receiving all the family’s love, seems to have a closed-off mindset about getting closer to one of her friends. So, one of the club members needs to take the initiative, but these intellectually regressed kids haven’t made any progress even as the semester is ending. Louise needs to resolve her trauma to choose one, but the trauma itself won’t come out.

'Miss Louise probably wants to love.'

Miss Louise wants to love.

I recalled the title of the story, which only I know in this world. It didn’t come to mind right after the reincarnation but suddenly appeared one day. Of course, knowing the title doesn’t mean anything if I don’t know the original content.

Still, thinking about Louise’s situation, it’s a touching title. Kids, Louise wants to experience love. So please, make some progress.

'I don’t even have much hope.'

In my heart, I hope they make progress, but my mind has already given up. It might be more effective to pray for a sixth character to appear.