Chapter 28

It was Merk Schreigen who first rescued me from this dim, dark magic tower.

The greatest genius in the country. The kingdom's most powerful mage.

A human weapon, harboring the greatest magical power in the kingdom.

That was the existence given to me, Shulk.

I am an orphan. I don't know my parents.

In that sense, I think I was attached to Merk.

I felt a love like family for her.

At first, I probably looked up to her like an older sister. Gradually, my feelings turned into romantic love.

"...I was bad at controlling my emotions back then."

My immature mind often caused my magic to go out of control.

With my level of magical power, if my magic went out of control, it could endanger the entire country.

That's why I was confined to this magic tower, under surveillance and management.

But I accepted that situation.

Because I didn't want to hurt anyone with my magic.

...I was afraid.

Afraid that I might lose control of my magic and hurt someone.

Afraid that I might even kill someone.

That's why I accepted life in the magic tower.

If my power could hurt and kill someone, then I would rather live here.

It was confining, but it was okay.

...But.

One day, Merk Schreigen came to see me.

It was probably a coincidence that we met.

"If you stay in a place like this for too long, you'll get sick! So let's go outside together!"

She said that and tried to take me outside, to show me the world.

...I...

I was interested in the outside world.

If I didn't have such magical power. If I had parents.

If I had been born into a normal family and been a normal child.

I could have walked outside without a care, laughed with everyone, couldn't I?

But I couldn't go outside. I was afraid of hurting someone.

And the fear of hurting someone and being hated by everyone was the most terrifying thing.

Being an orphan, I didn't know what love was.

I sought it without fully understanding what it was.

But no one loved me.

That's why... I sought love from Merk.

I thought I was troubling her, so I didn't get too close.

But she listened to me more sincerely than anyone else.

She answered my questions and the thoughts I carried.

I think Merk was more than a romantic interest to me.

She was like a sister, like a mother, to me.

--That's why.

I couldn't forgive anyone who hurt Merk.

When I found out it was Lady Angelina, I thought...

I could use my power against her. I thought that much.

I wasn't in a position to blame Dennis or Prince Leonhardt.

No, I was even worse than them.

After all, they didn't try to kill Lady Angelina.

I was... cruel and despicable, beyond any excuse of immaturity.

Yet at the time, I was so moved by Merk's kindness in stopping and advising me.

I didn't even feel guilty about what I had done to Lady Angelina.

I never thought my thoughts were wrong.

I even thought her punishment was too lenient.

If Merk hadn't stopped me, I might have harmed Lady Angelina.

...Maybe.

Maybe in some timeline, I did harm Lady Angelina, and I just don't remember it.

...

Among the men gathered around Merk, I was the one who couldn't be forgiven.

Perhaps because I was there, the time loop became such a quagmire.

That's why I, more than anyone, needed to reset time.

I couldn't let the "me" from the past run wild.

I couldn't trust or allow the "me" from the past.

That's why, over and over again...

From the moment we saw the possibility of an end to this time loop.

We tried various things.

We figured out who should remember the previous time.

When we realized that the person who remembered the previous time would "fail" as if cursed.

We didn't want to bear the role of failure.

We, who were cruel and despicable, even thought of the "worst means."

We tried to force Lady Angelina to experience the time loop, which was destined to make her unhappy... to push that role onto her.

A fate of unhappiness. A losing lottery.

We tried to push it onto Lady Angelina.

To sacrifice her to fate and grasp happiness for ourselves.

We even plotted such a scheme.

"Hah..."

The disgust is overwhelming.

In the end, our lack of trust in Lady Angelina worked in our favor.

We feared that if we entrusted her with the knowledge of the time loop, we would be "defeated" by her.

How foolish.

How arrogant, dirty, and foolish we were.

We never saw her hurt anyone, us, or Merk.

"...For the right thing."

The more I recall and deeply reflect, the more I feel the depth of my own sin.

But... still.

This journey through time is not a journey of "judgment."

Our regrets are not for "atonement" through time reversal.

It's simply that we can't move forward unless we are right.

The magic of time reversal is "restricted" to prevent misuse.

So, no matter how unforgivable the sins of our past may be.

This time is not for judgment.

Therefore...

"Merk. Prince Leonhardt. You all need to strive for the 'best.'"

This journey through time is a journey to seek the "compromise" we have redone.

Wishing for everything is why the time loop doesn't end.

For example, Prince Leonhardt.

If he wanted to make Merk his empress and also sought the support and administrative skills of the duke's family by making Lady Angelina his concubine.

If he wanted everything, the people's popularity, wealth, everything.

Such wishes will not come true.

Such a situation cannot exist.

Therefore, no matter how much he wishes for it, the world he desires will never be achieved.

As long as he desires greedily and arrogantly, the time loop will never end.

A happy ending where everything is obtained is impossible.

That's why what we need is... compromise.

The ability to draw a line and say, "This is enough."

And to strive for the best to bring an end.

Merk and Prince Leonhardt need to know this.

If you wish for it, achieve that dream first. Then realize that...

"Even if time is repeated, it is meaningless."

"Merk. Can you accept it? Being the queen's consort means a lifetime of responsibility and duty."

After receiving the education to be a queen, knowing the life of a queen that will continue from now on.

It's not a few years of hardship that ends after graduating from school.

It's a lifelong duty that continues forever.

Knowing this is like a child growing up and spreading their wings into the world.

Even as a noble, there are obligations.

Even as a commoner, one must work to earn a living.

As long as one lives in society, this is an inescapable, pure reality.

Can Merk understand this?

Can my former benefactor, whom I once admired, accept it?

This is meaningless to redo.

It's impossible to stay in student life forever.

No matter how many times we redo it, it will eventually appear before her eyes.

Still.

There is meaning in learning and accumulating.

If, after receiving the education to be a queen and facing reality, she thinks, "I can do this, even so."

That, too, might be the "right thing."

Past sins cannot be atoned for.

Judgment of past actions and choices is not necessary for the journey through time.

...So.

If she can accept that "I can't be a queen" and give up...

That compromise might end the time loop.

That's why I will support Merk's "dream."

...For now.

...

I stand alone in the small, narrow courtyard prepared in the magic tower.

The sky is clear, just like "that day."

"Oh..."

As I stand there, the girl who once took me outside appears.

Even with some deviation, she always comes here at this time.

"Are you... one of the people here?"

"...Yes, but..."

"Here is..."

"–I don't really have any complaints about living here, you know."

"Huh?"

I cut off the black-haired girl's words.

"Hi, every day is fun! I'm going to try a new magic today! See you, lost person. Goodbye."

"Eh, ah, eh?"

I pushed her away, as if rejecting her, and turned my back.

The person I once liked. The woman I once admired.

...Even now, somewhere, I still like her.

But I don't want her.

I don't want to hurt someone else by wanting her.

That's my compromise.

To be nothing to her. To live as a complete stranger.

Even if the love and the desire for affection continue to smolder in my heart.

Even if I continue to regret, wondering if there was a better way...