Chapter 9

"......This is the worst."

The words that slipped out of Freed's mouth were such a sentiment.

It took him some time to accept the situation. The idea of time rewinding and becoming his past self was not something he could easily accept. What troubled him the most was:

"......I have to start training all over again."

Freed's consciousness had somehow shifted to a point about four to five years in the past. He had the memories of his 'future.' Telling anyone about this would be met with disbelief. Freed had to accept this situation on his own.

What he found 'worst' was his own 'body.' No matter how much knowledge he had from the future, his body had been reverted to a frail state from five years ago.

Just having the memories didn't make his body strong. Physical strength required time and training. Reflexes don't just work with the mind alone. To regain his former self, he would need to reaccumulate the necessary experience.

"Damn...! Why did this happen?"

He had lost five years of training. His motivation waned, and even his daily training lacked vigor.

A sense of resignation and fear welled up within Freed. The fear was that 'if this continues, he would lose everything.'

Freed had the skills and confidence of a knight, honed and refined over time. But all of that was predicated on his 'future body.'

His arms and legs, now thinner, his weakened body, and his reflexes that no longer worked properly—it felt as if he was carrying a heavy burden every day.

Without regaining his former strength, there was no way he could become a prestigious royal guard. To achieve this, he needed to repeat his daily training.

If he didn't... he would just be a weak and fallen man.

"Ugh...!"

That's why he called it 'the worst.' He didn't think training was that hard. But it had to be tough and strict. No matter how talented he was, that didn't change.

"Why did this happen...!"

Even so, he couldn't easily accept this mysterious phenomenon. His efforts had been nullified for no apparent reason. Was this acceptable? Could it be allowed?

Freed wanted to go back to the previous time. He never sought a second life. He had no regrets in his past that required a redo...

"......There is one."

After thinking, worrying, and reflecting, he realized there was one regret.

Merck Schrengen. The woman he met was already someone else's. No, 'someone else's' wasn't accurate. Her heart was undoubtedly directed towards Leonhardt. Still, his own feelings of admiration were genuine.

Their meeting was shocking. Her smile, her words—everything moved Freed's heart. It felt like a fateful encounter. But at the same time, this 'flower' was one he could never pluck. It was clear she adored her master.

At first, he thought Merck's love was unrequited because Leonhardt had a fiancée. But then, Angelina Steizen made a mistake by giving it up.

"......If it were now, this moment..."

If he met Merck before Leonhardt, maybe. But using a supernatural phenomenon to take the lord's woman seemed wrong. No one could blame him, as time had rewound. But still...

"......Merck"

If he met her first, would fate change? Could the unspoken feelings from the previous time be realized? Perhaps this time was meant for that...

"Damn! I have to start training all over again!"

He felt an impulse to rush out immediately, but Freed didn't know where Merck was now. He knew she was an orphan. But when he met her, she was already the daughter of Baron Schrengen. Was she in the orphanage in the territory? Or had she already been adopted?

If so, he could send a marriage proposal to the baron's family. As a marquis, he might have a chance.

"......No"

He was a weak man now. Without regaining his former strength, he couldn't even be a glorious royal guard. Even a rough knight might have admirers, but not Merck's smile.

Merck was a descendant of the Alstroemeria royal family. A mere knight wouldn't be a match for her. Encouraging an orphan to become a baron's daughter and then trying to court her now would be unacceptable.

It would lead to something she didn't want. A woman who could have had a more illustrious future. Taking advantage of her background and forcing her into a relationship was something Freed couldn't do.

So, for Freed, who could only think of the path of a knight, he believed he needed to at least become a royal guard to approach Merck.

He was a weak, untrained knight from five years ago. Even if he won her heart, he would only cause her trouble.

"......I have to start training again"

Freed wished. Could this time be different? Could she become his destiny this time? But he also carried a sense of resignation, just like before.

That noble woman was out of his reach. The eyes that once reflected him didn't anymore.

With a mix of hope and resignation, Freed... honed his skills. He had managed to defeat his brother, who was supposed to be a greater figure in the future, a year earlier.

Freed, who once dismissed the idea of just having knowledge from the future, realized there was something left in this time. He would again become a royal guard, a 'candidate' in the palace, close to Prince Leonhardt.

Though a rival in love, he had no intention of harming Leonhardt. His loyalty was genuine.

And he would again learn of 'fate.' The Royal Academy. Merck, a 'special student' entering at the same age as him. They met again in this time.

"Lord Leonhardt..."

He was already in love. Her eyes reflected her lord. Even if she showed him kindness, it was just that.

(Ah... Indeed. Fate is a real thing.)

Then, what was the point of repeating time? It was all meaningless. Just the loss of his efforts. Maybe the same thing would happen again.

"Haha..."

Suddenly, all his motivation drained away. Meaningless. Futile. Purposeless. What was the point of his life? What was the point of wielding a sword? Two years had passed since time rewound. Would he repeat the same fate?

Looking at the unattainable 'flower' from a close yet distant place, Freed felt as if he had lost everything. He spent his time alone, with no excitement from the new school. He had already attended for two years in his 'previous life.' The feeling of nostalgia was stronger than any excitement for a new life.

Freed was filled with a sense of 'nothingness.' Everything might be overturned. The valueless efforts, the training... could he continue this in the future?

With a deep sigh, he... could only swing his sword.