4. Before

When Camille was young, she found it hard to believe that there were such a thing as bad men in the world. Bad men, as she believed, were men that robbed banks with ski masks on. Men that carried guns and lurked about in the dark. Bad men weren’t men- they were horrific make believe creatures that wore eye patches and drove around in vans offering you “candy.”

But as she got older, the idea of “bad men” evolved. Bad men were everywhere. They were fathers who hit their children and beat their wives behind closed doors, but managed to charm the rest of the neighbors into keeping quiet about the screams they heard at night. Bad men were the boys at parties who slipped things into girls’ drinks and offered to help them get home. Bad men didn’t wear eye patches or ski masks or drive around in eerie looking vans. Bad men were well off, average, ordinary looking men that wore smiles and expensive looking watches to hide their true intentions.

Never in a million years would Camille have ever called Ian Kohler a bad man. How could she when he ran marathons to help raise money for children’s hospitals and volunteered his time at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. How could she call such an intelligent and a straight A student a bad man? How could she do that to someone who had eaten dinner at her house in the past and sometimes helped her with her maths homework?

Sometimes bad men are right beside you.

On Saturday night, over forty eight hours ago, after Camille had grown sick of studying for her calculus test, she decided she deserved a bit of fun. So, she threw on her favorite dress and sneakers to match, and found a bold turquoise lipstick she’d been meaning to try for a while, but hadn’t found the right opportunity.

It was her friend Georgiana’s birthday and she was having a party at her house. After sacrificing most of the day to study, Camille decided she deserved some fun and finally let loose that night.

As she was leaving her room, she had glanced at Matthew’s door. She thought about asking him to tag along. But lately, he hadn’t been speaking to anyone. Days had passed, quite slowly might she have added, but it seemed that wounds were still raw.

For most of the night, Camille was happy. She was dancing and drinking and having a grand old time. It was a snapshot of a time where Camille was free. She wasn’t tied to any of her worries, she was lost in loud hip hop music and tipsy from bottles of Smirnoff.

Around 11:45, she called it a night and bid the drunk birthday girl goodnight. It was late and she desperately needed a ride home, but she knew the one person she normally relied on wasn’t going to budge tonight. Just as she began stumbling along the cobblestone, she heard someone call after her.

“Camille!” Ian called. “Don’t tell me you’re doing what I think your doing.” He said in a voice that reminded her of Matthew. She giggled and turned around. Ian approached her slinging an arm around her shoulders.

“It’s just across the estate.”

“It’s also just after 11:30 and you’ve definitely been drinking.” Ian smiled. He jingled a set of keys at her. “Come on, let me take you home. Consider it a simple favor.”

She bit her lower lip. He did have a point. “Alright, deal. But I get to pick the music.”

When Camille tries to think about how they’d ended up at the quarry that night, she has to run circles in her head. They’d been chatting for quite a while, longer than they were supposed to, considering the drive back to her house was only about ten minutes. But they had been talking for what felt like hours. And she was far too gone to realize that she should’ve been home much sooner.

“Have you ever been stargazing?” Camille asked glancing over at him.

“A few times. Why do you ask?”

She shrugged. “Dunno. I love stars. Matthew and I used to go up to the quarry and look for constellations.”

Ian smiled. “You know, we’re really close by the quarry. We can stop and take a look if you want.”

“I shouldn’t. It’s already pretty late and I’m already making you drive me home-”

“Hey, I said consider it a simple favor. Who said simple favors couldn’t be fun?” Camille smiled.

Ian pulled over on the side of the road and the two got out and hiked up to the quarry. They sat down by the edge and looked up at the sky. Millions of stars lit up the night.

“Look, it’s Ophiuchus. I’ve never seen it before. Isn’t it beautiful?” Camille asked pointing out the vivid constellation to Ian. He smiled and looked back at her. She was far too intrigued to notice that he was resting his hand on her thigh.

“Of course. But there are some things in the world that I think are far more beautiful than just some silly stars.”

Camille snorted “Like what?”

Ian leaned over and kissed her on the lips. For a minute she enjoyed it, But then it started to feel wrong. He was a friend of her brother’s and she had known him for most of her life. It felt a bit weird being so intimate with someone whom she considered like a second brother to her.

She pulled away from him. “I don’t think we should this.”

He smiled slyly at her. “Come on Cam, don’t be a buzzkill. We’re just having fun.”

She began getting to her feet. “I know, but it’s just that I’d really rather be getting home now. I’m sorry, Ian.”

What Camille doesn’t remember is how what seemed like a simple blunderous and apologetic moment had quickly turned violent. Within seconds, she went from feeling flustered and romantic to fearing for her life. It was a swift movement that sent a radiating pain to her abdomen and knocked her to the ground. With a hand over her mouth and a knife at her throat she found herself powerless.

Ian was gentle, despite the threat he posed to her. He quieted her and wiped away the tears running down her cheeks. With one hand, he held her down, and with the other, he unbuckled his belt. He pinned her to the ground and pulled up the hem of her dress.

The rest, Camille has erased from her memory.

She lay there for what felt like hours, with her eyes closed, as if she was dead. Soon enough, she heard his footsteps retreat. When she opened her eyes again, she was lying on her back staring up at the night sky.

Not a single star was in sight.