His Wife Cucked Him

When Wu Yue found the orphanage, it was raining. The curtain of rain was grey and blue; cold. The air he exhaled condensed into a faint white mist. Carrying a bag, umbrella, and folder in his arms, he hurried inside the orphanage against the rain without a word.

"Look, Mr Wu, these are the birth certificate and the hospital inspection certificate, as well as the child's discharge record at the time. They're consistent with the information you've provided." The dean showed Wu Yue the documents in hand one by one, explaining to him as they walked through the long corridor. The concrete floor under their feet was damp and grey, the tiles in the corner broken with cracks and incomplete from disrepair, the dirty wall dropped and chipped, and the water stains inside made the paint bulge². The window ribs were rusty and the dirt-covered green screens filtered the sky into countless square blue-green fragments, it was very dazzling.

"Mr Wu, he's your biological child."

The wooden door squeaked open, and what followed was a mixture of unpleasant milk smell and dull dampness of children. The small room was packed with a dozen beds and mattresses, the white cemented walls had turned yellow, and the edges were full of handprints, footprints and strange paintings. The water stains on the ground were big and small, and there was no gap between the lined beds. When the door was pushed open, all the children inside stopped what they were doing and looked at them.

Wu Yue felt himself choke. Some children were a few years old, some were teenagers, and they all looked up at him with their little faces. Some faces were dirty, some were thin, and some looked dodgy. They played together, with their toys, or stared out of the windows in a daze. Only one child was sitting on the bed in the corner, a shabby quilt on his lap and a book at hand.

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This child was also thin, with fair skin and long soft hair covering his neck. He didn't look and just focused on the book.

"Chu Dong³." The dean called out, "Your father's here."

The child then turned his head, and when he looked at Wu Yue, Wu Yue knew that this was his child. When those big, misty black eyes looked at him, it was like a call from the depths of his blood, like a roaring distant sound that rushed into his mind, cursed whispers from the blood and bones all over his body. This face was so familiar yet so unfamiliar. He saw the glimpse of himself and his wife and the ruthless time that flowed and cut them apart, scattering into the shadows.

Wu Yue stood in place, at a loss. The child called Chu Dong just looked at him quietly. His beautiful pale cheeks were clean, different from the other children. The clothes on his body were old but also clean. His eyes were subtly filled with the cold and soft light of the moon. Even sitting there, there was an abrupt incompatibility, like a small handful of moonlight falling on a swamp full of rotten wood, illuminating the mud everywhere.

The dean said: "Chu Dong, come here, your father's here to take you home."

Chu Dong's gaze moved from Wu Yue. He closed the book and put it aside, lifting the quilt on his lap.

He was missing a leg. One of the trouser legs was empty, the other was thin and smooth, his toes lay on the worn sheets. He slowly propped himself up on the bed, lowering his head to put on his shoe and reaching for the crutches resting by the wall.

Wu Yue felt like he had just woken up from a dream. He hurriedly walked over and kicked away boxes and debris in his hurry. He was tall and sturdy, and it was really difficult to shuttle between the mattress and the children all packed in the same place. He walked in front of Chu Dong, half kneeling. If you look at the child's face up close, you could see the slender eyelashes, the moist pupils, and the small red lips.

"I... I'll hold you up." Wu Yue stretched out his hand, and then stopped in the air nervously. His voice was gentle and dry when he spoke, "Can I?"

Chu Dong blinked, he stared at him for a while and slowly raised his arm. Wu Yue took him and lifted him using his slender back and knees, Chu Dong hugged his shoulder and looked at him without blinking. When Wu Yue walked out of the room hugging him, a child suddenly called out from behind, "That monster is gone."

Wu Yue was startled, after the catalyst, some children started screaming, shouting "demon⁴" and "fairy⁵" at Chu Dong, saying "that demon is finally gone." The dean yelled at them, quickly closing the door and smiling at Wu Yue: "Please don't mind, children don't understand anything."

They signed and went through the formalities inside the office. Chu Dong quietly sat on a chair and did not speak. There was a black quilted jacket from Wu Yue on his person wrapping him from head to knee, revealing a leg and the deflated trouser. Some thick socks were handed over by the dean and put on him.

"He's cute and clean. Every time he finishes eating, he'll use a towel to wash his face. His clothes are also clean, he doesn't like wearing them until they're completely spotless."

"He likes reading and has read all the books in the courtyard."

"People who come here say he's pretty good-looking, but unfortunately, his leg..."

Wu Yue looked at Chu Dong and turned around to ask the dean: "What happened to his leg?"

The dean scrambled and rubbed his hands as he replied, "When he was a child, he ran out to play around and broke it. The doctor in the county hospital I brought him to said that he could only be amputated, so..."

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Wu Yue became silent after listening. The dean saw that this man was strong, his back was straight, and when he was sitting his hands would rest on his legs. His frown startled the dean, he hesitated for a long time but still said: "Mr Wu, I have something to explain to you."

"This child, Chu Dong, was adopted when he was young." The dean's voice fell low when he said this, he turned his head to look at Chu Dong who was sitting on the side, his eyes were inexplicably uneasy, "...But was sent back a year later. He never liked to talk or play with other children. But after he came back, he's become even more withdrawn. You... if you decide to bring him back again, I'm afraid that it'll greatly affect his mental health."

Wu Yue left the orphanage holding Chu Dong, he left behind all the gifts he brought to the dean, as well as a bulging red envelope⁶. He drove the car by himself, it was an ordinary black car. Wu Yue held the umbrella and carefully put the Chu Dong inside the passenger seat, turning to the other side to get into the car. He started the car and turned on the heating, helping Chu Dong fasten his seat belt. After finishing this, he turned and leaned back on the seat with his hands awkward positioned on his lap, it seemed like he didn't know what to do next.

They let the heater blow for a while, and the car quickly became warm and comfortable. Wu Yue finally remembered something, he reached out and took a doll from the back seat. He went to the mall to buy this doll two days ago. He didn't know what to buy for the child, so the clerk recommended him this blue dolphin doll, she said that it was a new design and that the children liked it.

"I bought it for you." Wu Yue put the doll in front of Chu Dong with both hands and said, "I didn't expect you to already be so old, the doll may be a bit too childish. I'm sorry, I didn't think of what to bring you before I set off."

Chu Dong took the doll, he tilted his head and looked at it, there seemed to be a little smile on his face. He said, "Thank you, I like it."

The car drove away from the grey orphanage in the rain, through the desolate ridges and forests, leaving the countryside, and rolling onto the highway towards another city. The rain also descended from one city to another, the ash-coloured misty rain curtain enveloped pedestrians and vehicles, raindrops crackled and fell on the car windows, staying briefly as droplets of water, flowing down, and then disappearing.

The car was very quiet. The wiper worked rhythmically, and the engine gave off a slight vibration. Chu Dong sat still in his seat, he didn't talk and didn't sleep. The heating had been turned on relatively high, but he didn't mean to take off the quilted jacket on his body, as if the quilted jacket made him comfortable. He hugged the dolphin doll in front of him and kept glancing sideways at the rain and sky outside the window.

Rainy days breed traffic jams, it was dark when Wu Yue drove the car to the community. He took Chu Dong out of the car, covering him tightly with an umbrella, and quickly walked to the residential building. This residential building looked old, but fortunately, it was clean and bright. It seemed to be cleaned and maintained all year round. Wu Yue took the person upstairs and returned home, he turned on the lights, put the Chu Dong on the sofa, and then turned on the heating at home. He turned to the bathroom to pour in hot water, pulling out his clothes from the closet and taking out a new pair of underwear and clothes. He came over to sit next to Chu Dong and asked softly: "Do you want to take a shower first? You should change your clothes too."

Chu Dong looked at him and nodded. Wu Yue helped him take off the big cotton-padded jacket, he picked him up and carried him to the bathroom, he first put the person on a small wooden bench, put the clothes aside, tested the temperature of the water, and worked rather unskillfully to finally get everything ready. He turned around and hesitantly asked Chu Dong: "Do you need me to help you take a bath?"

Sitting in the heavy water vapour, Chu Dong's warm eyes quietly and persistently followed Wu Yue's movements. He said: "I can wash myself."

"Can you take off..."

"I can do it myself." Chu Dong said so, showing Wu Yue a gentle smile, "Thank you."

Wu Yue pointed at the shampoos and shower gel one by one, he taught him how to use the water heater, then walked out of the bathroom and closed the door for him. He sat down on the sofa in the living room, taking off his sweater and putting it aside, he only wore one long-sleeved shirt, just listening to the sound of splashing in the bathroom. The exhaustion and restlessness from running around the past days seemed to finally be at rest, he breathed a sigh of relief, not knowing what to feel. He finally found his son, but although the child didn't cry or make trouble, he didn't want to call him father.

Wu Yue tubbed his forehead and sighed.

Before seeing his wife Zhao Qian being embraced by a man while walking into the hotel, Wu Yue never thought that his marriage would ever come to an end. Thirteen years ago, he married Zhao Qian as soon as he returned from the army. Zhao Qian and he were high school classmates, at that time, Zhao Qian was the most beautiful girl in the school. She was lively and versatile, she would try on many hairstyles on herself. She was clean, wearing trendy knitted sweaters or light blue shirts, Zhao Qian was the goddess in the hearts of many boys, but Wu Yue was the one she secretly promised herself to. Later, Wu Yue graduated from high school and joined the army. He didn't go home for three years, and Zhao Qian waited for him for three years.

Later they got married and started a family, but they never had any children. The two went to the hospital for an examination together, but in the end, Zhao Qian was discovered to be unable to give birth. Wu Yue was very sorry, but quickly let go. Even without children, life will go on, and a home can still be very warm.

It wasn't easy finding a job after retiring from the military. Wu Yue has done many things; from moving bricks on the construction sites to selling fruit, from opening a store in partnership to being a driver. Only in recent years did he open a clothing store and stabilized enough to make some money.

Wu Yue never lost his temper on Zhao Qian. He kept thinking that she had waited for him for three years at the peak of her youth. He also thanked God for giving him such a beautiful and gentle wife. After marriage, he treated her twice as well, spoiling her, and giving her everything. After thirteen years of marriage, Zhao Qian was still as beautiful and bright as the first time he saw her.

That day, Wu Yue went to the mall to buy goods. While passing a five-star hotel on the road, he saw his wife, thin and slender, from the back. She was leaning intimately against a man's shoulder and walking into the hotel. That man was also someone Wu Yue was familiar with; he was the boss of the company Zhao Qian was working at, and they sometimes eat together. The man was handsome and humorous, he and Zhao Qian were always the chattiest at the dinner table. Wu Yue spoke few words, dresses normally, and never takes care of himself. He sits aside from them, the two were talented and beautiful, and he's like the pick-up driver waiting to take them home.

Wu Yue also learned later that the people from Zhao Qian's company, her family, girlfriends, and even the neighbours in the community knew that Zhao Qian and her boss had an ambiguous relationship. He, the husband, was blind to this secret. After several years of adultery, he was actually the last to learn about it.

Wu Yue's business also took a very bad turn at that time. Physical stores weren't easy to maintain. The business of the old pedestrian street had been outshined by the new commercial plaza next to it. The employees in the store have been with him since the opening, and he's never mentioned it to his wife after returning home. He was getting nervous, but he still bought her a diamond ring and new clothes for her birthday. He was also preparing to travel abroad together with her as they waited for their wedding anniversary.

After learning of all this, Wu Yue found his former comrade-in-arms and drank all night. His comrade-in-arms asked him about it but he didn't say anything, only filling himself with bottle after bottle until he was completely drunk. He was sent home by his comrades and slept on the sofa for a day. After waking up, he washed his face with cold water, called Zhao Qian and told her to home, and asked her for a divorce.

"You want to divorce?"

Zhao Qian stood in the middle of the living room holding her bag, looking at him in disbelief. She was still so beautiful, wearing an expensive brand-name red coat, every strand from her hair to her fingertips was well maintained, and her face was also covered with exquisite makeup for a banquet. Even on such an occasion, she was still the same, soft and smooth.

Wu Yue no longer stared intently at her face but stood by the window looking at the heavy sky outside. His face blurred and silent under the gradually falling night.

He spoke tiredly, his voice low, "Yes."

Zhao Qian didn't want to divorce him. She cried in front of Wu Yue, confessing her mistakes, her beautiful face was pale and full of tears, holding Wu Yue's hand and begging him to forgive herself, her pathetic and helpless appearance made his heart hurt. When Wu Yue insisted on leaving, she lost her temper and refused to sign the divorce agreement anyway. Wu Yue had no choice but to ask a lawyer to talk with Zhao Qian, he moved to his parents' previous house to live alone and find peace.

After a stalemate of several months, Zhao Qian came to his door one day. Her hair was loose and her makeup was gone, her face became haggard for the first time. She took out a birth certificate in front of Wu Yue and told him they had a child. At the party the year after graduating from high school, Wu Yue was drunk and Zhao Qian took him back to her house. They did something that night, and after Wu Yue woke up, Zhao Qian told him that she had taken safety measures and that there'd be no accidents. Although Wu Yue still blamed himself for this, he held Zhao Qian and seriously told her that he'd marry her after going home.

But Zhao Qian didn't make Wu Yue wear a condom that night, nor did she take any medicine. She didn't expect that she'd get pregnant from doing it once, she hid it in the dark and hesitated, and finally gave birth to the child without ever telling anyone.

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However, the child was born intersex, and because of the lack of nutrition during the mother's term, it had a weak physique and was swollen at birth. At that time, many people in the community still thought that intersex people were freaks. Zhao Qian wasn't literary and believed this, so she left the child in the hospital that night and left when the nurse wasn't paying attention.

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"We had a child." Zhao Qian looked at Wu Yue with tears in her eyes, "I gave birth to your child, Wu Yue, are you really going to leave me?"

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Wu Yue was holding the birth certificate. He felt dizzy like he'd been hit hard, then his fingers began to tremble violently.

His own flesh and blood, in the years when he knew nothing, lived outside for sixteen years.

There was a knock on the door. Wu Yue suddenly recovered, he got up and opened it. He ordered take-out from a restaurant he often ate at, and after getting the dishes, he placed them on the table one by one. Hearing the slow sounds of the rustling clothes from the bathroom, he walked to the bathroom door, "Chu... Chu Dong, are you dressed?"

An answer came from inside, "Yes."

Wu Yue opened the door. Chu Dong looked just right in the old pyjamas he wore when he was a teenager. Wu Yue was able to dig out this set, fortunately, he was living in his parents' old house. The elderly pair kept his old things and didn't throw them away. Wu Yue lived here these days and had hardly moved any furniture.

He took Chu Dong out, putting him on a chair by the dining table. He found a hairdryer and stood aside to blow his hair. Chu Dong's hair was very soft, wetly attached to the tip of his snow-white ears and the back of his neck. Wu Yue looked at the protruding spikes of his spine and thought that he was too thin.

Chu Dong quietly sat on the chair and let him blow his hair. Wu Yue's old pyjamas were made with cotton by his mother's hands. The texture was thick and soft, warmly wrapping around Chu Dong so that he finally didn't look as cold anymore.

Wu Yue helped him dry his hair, sat aside, readied his chopsticks and set the bowl for him, "You've been in the car for so long, you must be hungry so eat it while it's hot."

Chu Dong picked up the chopsticks and a bowl to eat. He ate very slowly, lowering his head to eat small mouthfuls, as if he wasn't very hungry. After eating a little rice and a few mouthfuls of green vegetables, he stopped moving his chopsticks. Wu Yue was a little anxious and asked, "Do you not like the dishes?"

"I'm full." Chu Dong said. He put down the bowl and chopsticks, saying softly, "I'm a little sleepy."

"Oh, okay... okay, I'll make your bed."

Wu Yue got up and went to the balcony to bring in freshly washed and dried bedsheets, he then went into the room where he usually slept to make the bed. Before setting off to pick up Chu Dong, he cleaned the inside and outside of the house and specifically dried the cotton and wool. He moved all of his belongings to the room where his parents used to sleep. After he finished tidying the room, he carried Chu Dong to the bed and covered him with a quilt.

He wanted to talk to Chu Dong, although he didn't know where to start. However, Chu Dong didn't seem to have the intention of talking with him more, nor did he have the joy of finally being taken back up by his biological father. It seemed like he wasn't aggrieved from living in the orphanage for so many years. He lay in the thick quilt, looking at Wu Yue with big eyes and whispering, "Can I sleep alone?"

Wu Yue sat on the edge of the bed and carefully tucked him in. He was taken aback when he heard his words and stood up hurriedly, "Of course, of course. Sleep well, I'll leave a gap in the door of the room, I'll be sleeping next door so shout if you have anything you need me for, alright?"

Chu Dong nodded, Wu Yue turned off the lights in the room and covered the door for him. He sat back at the table again, looking at the hardly moved food and sighing silently. He picked up a bowl and started eating. He's been hungry all day, and had a thorn stuck in his heart lately, he hasn't been able to eat well. Now, he was finally able to take the child back at least. He was hungry and finished the food in a short while, he also ate Chu Dong's share.

Wu Yue cleared the dining table and went back to the living room to sit on the sofa. Be took out Chu Dong's birth certificate and hospital inspection certificate, he looked at them over and over again. He couldn't calm down, but he didn't know how to express it. Zhao Qian made two calls to him, but he didn't answer and didn't read the messages. He sat alone on the sofa for a long time, got up, took a shower, and went back to his room to lie down. The lights in the house were all off, and the room was quiet and dark. Wu Yue lay on the bed and turned over a few times before slowly falling asleep.

In the next room, the quilt that seemed to be still finally moved, Chu Dong lifted himself from the bed and sat, watching the lights of other people not far away from the window. This room was very warm, unlike in the orphanage, where no matter how cold it was, there'd only be one quilt. The other children huddled together to keep warm, but he retreated into the corner with his quilt alone. Outside the window was no longer the lead-grey sky and fence filtered by the green screens. He could see the buildings in the distance across the trees, streets, and wire.

Chu Dong's fingers touched the cool embroidered surface of the quilt. The bed covers were all in old-fashioned patterns, with gold silk flowers and birds embroidered on the sheets and a red underlay. Although old, it was thick and big, unlike the quilt he had from the orphanage that could barely cover his toes.

Chu Dong gently stroked the embroidery. The moonlight was like a silver surface, and luminous fragments fell on him. His skin was immersed in the sparkle of the moon and the night, covering him like a gentle dream. It was a dream of a lake with no man in the forest, with the full moon reflecting on the waters.⁷

He raised his eyes, and the moon fell into his cold, unwavering orbs.