Chapter 64

This is a fairly important matter.

I know that if I don’t pretend that everything is fine between us, it will cause me trouble.

So, I think it’s inevitable that we share the same bedroom.

But!

The problem is how we sleep...

"Um... should I sleep on the sofa?"

When I tentatively suggested this, my husband looked at me with a disappointed expression, as if to say, "Are you stupid?"

"If only one person is sleeping, it will be obvious. This place is like enemy territory, you know?"

"Did we have a fight or something?"

"You sound like you’re causing trouble as soon as we arrive."

"I can’t sleep if the pillow is different... or something?"

"I hope that excuse works—anyway, let’s go to sleep. The dog over there is already fast asleep."

I’m not a dog!

But, I guess I can’t blame him for thinking that.

Rihito has been lying on the bed, belly up, for quite some time now.

Do you still have your wild instincts, Rihito? I often wonder.

He doesn’t even react to our conversation, and he doesn’t care if the bed shakes.

He’s the type who wouldn’t survive in the wild.

Or maybe it’s because he’s a child?

No, even for a child, this is a bit much!

If I look at it kindly, I can see that he’s getting used to it, but if I look at it maliciously, he’s just a spoiled dog.

Even though he’s not a dog.

I want to live like you, Rihito.

Do you even know for whose sake I’m going through all this trouble, Rihito?

"Go over there."

"Don’t do anything funny!"

As he pushed my shoulder and tried to make me lie down, I glared at him.

At that moment, my husband gave me a mischievous smile.

I realized it was too late.

"What do you mean by ‘funny’?"

"I mean funny things! Funny things!"

Can I even say it specifically?

"That’s too abstract. If it’s not strange to me, then it’s not strange, right?"

"No, it’s not okay!"

Absolutely not! Don’t interpret it to your convenience!

It’s a general societal issue, I think.

"If it’s not strange for a married couple, then it’s fine, right?"

"Why do you say such things—!"

Suddenly, my husband put his finger to my lips, silencing me for a moment.

"Your barking is cute, but Rihito will wake up."

"He would have woken up long ago if this was enough to wake him!"

"Is that so? Then I’m relieved."

He smiled and, with a clear intention, pushed my shoulder and laid me down on the bed.

The top-of-the-line bed, which could comfortably support two people, now felt hateful.

In a position where he was looking down at me, I thought it was getting dangerous and said to his shadowy figure:

"Where did the issue of building trust go!?"

"…It’s hard to argue with that… but, I’m making a play area for the dog in the territory, so at least a little gratitude would be nice, wouldn’t it?"

True? This territory belongs to my husband.

I’m the one asking him to make a play area, right?

But! I’m also doing the difficult task of meeting people and fulfilling my role as a duchess, even if it’s not perfect, I’m trying my best!

Even though I have a lot to say, I can’t find the right words, maybe because my husband’s eyes are unexpectedly serious when he looks at me.

"To put it bluntly, I could force it. Men are like that. Even if the heart isn’t there, they can still take a woman."

You’re really saying the worst things!

"But, it’s better if the heart is there. Women might think men are just after their bodies, but they can be surprisingly sensitive."

I understand that people are different.

There are bad women, and there are romantic men.

"I told you before that I like you. I understand that my reputation has fallen in your eyes due to various events. But, have you thought about it at all?"

Indeed, he did say it. And I could honestly admit that my husband was working hard to support the Lindbergh duchy, as I had done the same work.

I understood that my husband had gone through a lot.

He was paying the price for the past events of the Lindbergh duchy, which were too heavy for one person to bear.

When he said he liked me, I had put it on hold and tried not to think about it.

I hadn’t completely ignored it, but I had pushed it to the back of my mind.

"I’m happy when you look happy, but it’s a bit difficult to see that you’re not there with me."

"Um..."

Even if I wanted to say something, it would just be an excuse.

My husband is still quite unreasonable, and there’s a certain maliciousness to it.

Because of that, I can’t fully trust him. But, I think I can trust him as a colleague.

Talking about work with my husband is enjoyable, and his quick understanding is commendable.

During work, my husband is extremely serious and makes reasonable suggestions, pointing out things I hadn’t considered.

"You’ve always been a bit childish, but isn’t it time to grow up a little?"

"Th-that—..."

I hesitated and couldn’t respond.

I know what my husband wants.

"I thought I would let you set the pace, but if nothing changes, I’ll have to make you more aware of me, even if I have to be forceful. To be clear, I want to take back a lot of things. It’s late, but I want us to be more like a married couple. Regardless of children, I want to get closer to you."

Not physically, but emotionally.

I don’t know how to respond to my husband’s declaration.

It’s easy to say no. It’s just a verbal agreement, and I could stick to the original promise.

But, I’m starting to wonder if that’s really okay.

He gently stroked my cheek, and my husband smiled wryly at my confusion.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say all this suddenly, but—"

"No, it’s fine... I’m sorry."

I don’t know what I’m apologizing for, but those words slipped out.

"Tomorrow will be busy, so let’s get some rest."

I can’t gauge the distance.

But, my husband seemed calm, and it made me a bit frustrated.

He moved from on top of me and lay down next to me, covering us with the blanket.

If I turned to the side, his face would be close, so I turned the other way.

"Good night, Reisha."

"…Good night."

I could hear his quiet breathing soon after, and I turned back to look at him.

He’s a beautiful person, even when he’s sleeping.

I’m sure most women would easily nod if they were pressured, but I can’t be that honest.

I think I’m afraid.

What if I fall in love and then get betrayed?

My parents had a loveless political marriage.

They could endure it because it was loveless, but if I fell in love, I might not be able to endure it.

So—...

I curled up tightly and tried not to think about it.

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