Chapter 26

That night, An Ze really did stay in the hospital as a family member.

In the middle of the night, An Luo woke up, needing to answer the call of nature. He fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp, and saw An Ze sleeping on the sofa not far away.

Although the sofa in the ward could be unfolded to be used as a bed, for An Ze, who was 1.85 meters tall, such a small bed couldn't fit his body at all. He was curled up on the sofa like a shrimp, frowning slightly from his awful posture.

Compared to the severe and indifferent military uniform he wore from day-to-day, that expression on his face brought out a bit of boyish energy. He could obviously go home and sleep comfortably, but he had insisted on sleeping on the hospital sofa because he was worried about his brother. It made An Luo feel a little touched.

Unwilling to wake his sleeping brother, An Luo propped himself up on the edge of the bed, so he could wheel himself to the bathroom. Unexpectedly, even though he painstakingly lightened his movements, he still woke up An Ze, who had been sleeping very lightly.

An Ze opened his eyes and saw that An Luo was frowning as he supported his body slowly into the wheelchair. He hurriedly pushed off his blanket and walked to the hospital bed. He softly asked, "What does gege want? I'll get it for you."

An Luo was silent for a moment, and said awkwardly, "I want to go to the bathroom."

An Ze nodded. "Why didn't you wake me up?" His voice seemed a bit reproachful. After scolding An Luo, he leaned down and gently lifted An Luo from the bed, "I'll take you."

An Luo was carried to the bathroom to use the toilet, and then An Ze carried him back to the bed. And just as he wanted to ask for a glass of water, An Ze turned around and poured him one before he could speak. He pressed it to An Luo's lips, and whispered, "Drink some water."

"..." An Luo was speechless for a while.

In the past, whether An Luo was drunk and vomiting dizzily or seriously ill to the point of delirium, there would never be anyone by his side. He was used to waking up alone in the middle of the night, dragging his tired body to pour him a glass of water. He never thought that, one day, someone would stand by his side and give him one when he was thirsty.

At that moment, the cup full of water was steadily held before him by a slender and powerful hand. An Ze's deep eyes were full of concern. Suddenly, An Luo felt an indescribable and strange feeling in his heart.

An Luo took the water glass from him and said softly, "Thank you."

Watching his brother lower his head to drink water, An Ze's lips raised into a faint smile—Gege, it's a blessing for me to take care of you. There's no need to thank me.

What I desired was never your gratitude.

***

When An Luo woke up the next morning, An Ze was no longer on the sofa. As he looked at the neatly folded blankets on the sofa, An Luo couldn't help but smile. His younger brother's way of doing things really was meticulous. Even if he slept casually on the sofa for a night, he'd always make it tidily when he left.

An Luo got in his wheelchair on his own to use the bathroom to freshen up. When he was done, he turned and rang the bell for the nurse. Right away, Song Yuan entered the room, with a cake box in her hands. She said, with a brilliant smile, "You're already up so early! Come have some breakfast. Before he left, An Ze told me to go buy this. He said you're fond of it."

Song Yuan put the box on the table and opened it up. An Luo looked down at it. It was unexpectedly his favorite, matcha cake.

An Luo normally didn't eat sweets. Out of all desserts, his favorite was matcha cake, because its flavor wasn't as heavy as chocolate or frosting. Instead, it had a refreshing fragrance. An Luo really did like that kind of flavor.

But why would An Ze know that? He couldn't remember ever telling An Ze about it.

An Luo thought it over, puzzled. He couldn't help but ask, "Song Yuan, you and An Ze have known each other for a long time, right?" He remembered the conversation the two had the other day, and they'd looked like old friends.

Song Yuan nodded and said, "That's right, we were high school classmates." After a pause, she joked, "Actually, I'm still your fan."

An Luo looked up at her. "What do that mean?"

Song Yuan replied seriously. "In high school, you were our school's student body president. You looked handsome, you had good grades, and you'd often score perfectly on tests. A lot of people in our school worshiped you. Including An Ze."

An Luo was astonished by this. "An Ze really also worshiped his older brother?"

Song Yuan looked like she remembered something funny. She said, smiling, "Yes, An Ze really has always looked up to you. When we were freshmen, the teacher once assigned us all an essay. We had to write about the person we admired most. Most of us wrote about celebrities like Albert Einstein, and some people wrote about their parents or teachers. But An Ze alone wrote about his older brother."

"..." That idiot wasn't afraid of being made fun of by others. An Luo had no clue what to say about that.

Song Yuan grinned widely. "An Ze's essay was very touching. The teacher read it out loud as an example. An Ze even blushed during that."

"Really?" As a freshman, An Ze was only fourteen years old. Little An Ze's blushing appearance must have been very cute.

Listening to Song Yuan bring up these memories, for some reason, An Luo's heart felt a little disappointed.

Maybe it was because he was sitting in a wheelchair at that moment. He wasn't the one that Song Yuan had spoken admiringly about, much less the older brother that An Ze had adored. Those heartwarming scenes were just a paragraph in the story of the An Luo who had already died. The care that An Ze showed him now was only because he currently possessed the identity of An Ze's older brother.

An Luo couldn't imagine what would happen if An Ze learned that his beloved older brother was already dead, and the An Luo in front of him was only a stranger... How would An Ze feel?

***

In the evening, An Ze came back to the hospital with fruit. An Luo was sitting in his wheelchair, watching TV. He watched An Ze enter the room and strip off his military uniform. With a smile on his face and the setting sun's illumination, An Ze looked even more handsome and charming.

"Gege, when I passed by the supermarket just now, I bought these lychee. Here, taste it." An Ze put the lychee on a plate, and brought it to An Luo. He picked up the largest one and peeled it open. He brought it up to the corner of An Luo's mouth.

An Luo glanced at him. He took the lychee with his hand, and ate it. The two of them peeled the fruits, facing each other. Before long, An Luo noticed how clumsily An Ze peeled the lychee. He couldn't help but say, "Don't peel it like that. Your hands will be covered in juice. The lychee have a line down the middle, see it?"

An Ze asked, confusedly, "Where?"

An Luo took his hand and showed him personally. "Right here. You hold the lychee and gently squeeze it. It'll split open on its own."

The image of his older brother lowering his head and explaining seriously made An Ze suddenly recall how he'd been taught to hold chopsticks as a child. The gentle grip of that hand on the back of his had the same refreshing cool temperature. The feeling of being held by him was so comfortable, An Ze never wanted to let go.

An Luo's face showed no expression. But such a face had a deadly appeal to An Ze... His heart leapt. It was unbearable. He wanted to lean over and kiss him intensely... But instead, An Luo suddenly looked up and asked, "Did you try it?"

His gaze didn't have a trace of impure thoughts. It was a look of pure brotherly sentiment.

An Ze quickly repressed the chaos in his uncontrollable heart, and said, "I did it."

He was scared that if this continued, he wouldn't be able to restrain his strong emotions, and he'd do something excessive. So An Ze hurriedly turned to go get a basin of hot water from the bathroom. He lifted An Luo onto the bed, pulling the blanket aside and rolling up the legs of An Luo's trousers.

An Luo's legs were perfectly straight and slender. But because they'd been wrapped up in casts for so long, they looked a bit pale. His skin was also dry and rough from poor blood flow.

An Luo asked questioningly, "What are you doing?"

An Ze worked his hands over An Luo's calf, squeezing gently. He asked, "Gege, does your leg have any feeling?"

An Luo shook his head. "It hasn't returned yet."

An Ze moved his finger up until it was above the knee. An Luo finally said, "There's feeling there."

An Ze nodded. "I'll help you massage it. The doctor said that sort of thing would help it recover." After he finished speaking, he took the towel and soaked it with the hot water. He wrung it out and then gently spread it on An Luo's calf. He slowly massaged it.

An Luo watched him seriously use the hot towel to clean his leg and then gently press An Luo with his fingers. An Ze's movements were extremely careful. An Luo suddenly didn't know what to say.

An Ze really was a good younger brother. Unfortunately, this younger brother was "An Luo's," not truly his.

After an indeterminate amount of time, An Ze had carefully massaged both his legs all the way through. Although feeling hadn't returned to his legs, An Luo still felt that the massage had made his entire body feel more comfortable.

An Ze put away the basin and the towels, saying, "Gege, are you hungry? I can go downstairs and buy food."

As An Ze turned to leave, An Luo suddenly said, "An Ze. You really like your older brother, don't you?"

An Ze's back suddenly stiffened. His fingers even began to tremble a little.

Since An Ze didn't answer, An Luo continued, calmly asking, "If your older brother had unexpectedly died when he was kidnapped, what would you do?"

An Ze turned his head to look back, and whispered, "Don't talk nonsense. You're alright, aren't you?"

An Luo looked up to stare An Ze right in the eyes. "I said 'if.'"

An Ze scowled, but didn't answer.

"What if your brother never made it out of the operating room that time, and he didn't have amnesia? What if he just died?" An Luo asked.

Their eyes met in the air. They looked at each other silently. Neither was willing to concede.

After a long pause, An Ze finally spoke. "Sorry. I can't accept that possibility."

"An Ze..."

"Don't let your imagination run wild. I won't let you be in danger again." An Ze interrupted him with a calm face. He turned to leave again. When he made it to the doorway, he suddenly stopped. He said seriously, "Gege, your survival was the greatest fortune that's happened to me. Please don't joke about it."

An Ze's rigid figure quickly left An Luo's line of sight.

There was a stifling silence in the hospital room. An Luo looked at the closed door, and furrowed his brows deeply.

Unfortunately, your greatest fortune is actually my greatest misfortune. I would have rather died in that plane crash than have inexplicably survived by being reborn into this An Luo's body.

Remembering those days of these two people's relationship, all the little moments of warmth and care, it's just like a dream. It seems so beautiful, but it doesn't actually exist anymore.

An Ze, how can I tell you... Your brother, he's already dead.