Chapter 4

What is sentiment?

When we like an instrument but don't persist to a professional level and can't bear to give it up, it turns into sentiment. When we are attached to our hometown but have to leave it, it also becomes a sentiment. When we like someone but can't fully embrace them, it turns into a sentiment as well.

Things that we can't pick up or let go, the slightly ajar door, the tiptoeing feet, the grapes we can't reach, the unquenched thirst for a plum—all these become sentiments.

In a weary life without heroes and dreams, people need something to寄托 (rely on).

Once, when Zhao Fusheng occasionally saw the glamorous Fan Baobao on TV, he would also recall how naive the two of them were when they were children. But that doesn't mean he would want her as his fiancée.

It's like how everyone thinks the wild girlfriend played by Jun Ji-hyun is beautiful, but who would want their girlfriend to be a troublemaker and slap them for fun?

But if Zhao Fusheng's ears didn't deceive him, it seemed that his mother and Aunt Li Yuan had actually arranged a marriage for him and Fan Baobao!

This is truly a sad story.

Even sadder is that the only person who could stop this, Zhao Dad, after hearing Zhao Mom, thought for ten seconds and then nodded, saying, "This is a good idea."

At that moment, Zhao Fusheng felt a dark cloud over his life.

He even hoped this was a dream, a dream he could wake up from quickly.

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At that moment, another person on the sofa opposite the Zhao family had the same thought.

The girl was in her early twenties, with obvious bags under her eyes, which, according to folk wisdom, are called "cute flesh." However, she didn't have a sweet and delicate face. Her unadorned face was fresh and spirited, making her look very comfortable. Such a face truly had a soothing effect on men.

But at that moment, her eyes were red, looking at her crying mother, "Mom, you and Dad should get a divorce."

Li Yuan was stunned, looking up at her daughter, never expecting her eldest daughter to say such a thing.

Fan Baobao gave a bitter smile, "With Dad like this, there's no point in you continuing to live with him."

This was the truth. Since her father was laid off, he seemed to have changed into a different person, drinking heavily and gambling. He had almost sold everything of value in the house, and this time, he almost lost her.

"By the way, how much did Dad lose this time?" Fan Baobao asked, frowning.

She had received the news temporarily and rushed back from school. When she got home, the messy house had already been cleaned up, and her younger sister was asleep.

"Five thousand." Li Yuan answered with a bitter smile.

"So much!"

Fan Baobao gasped, never expecting her father to lose so much at once. No wonder he had fled by train in the middle of the night.

They say a small amount of money can stump a hero, and while money isn't everything, without it, nothing is possible. For a working-class family, five thousand yuan was a huge sum. Fan Baobao knew that even if she became an actress now, she couldn't earn that much.

The reason was simple: a beginner could at most play a maid or a follower, earning three to five thousand yuan at best.

Five thousand yuan, ha, unless she chose to sell herself.

Even then, she might not get that much.

If people in the early 1990s still retained a bit of innocence, then ten years later, people gradually became more vulgar. It was the best of times and the worst of times.

People realized the importance of material wealth and money and gradually understood that the best choice is to hold one's own fate in their hands.

Fan Baobao understood this. They say poor children grow up fast, and since she attended a film academy, she was more exposed to such realities. She knew that in today's world, without money, it was truly impossible to get by.

Just as Fan Baobao was at a loss, Li Yuan said softly, "That boy, Fusheng, said he would help us pay off the debt."

"Huh?"

Fan Baobao was stunned, then looked surprised, "Zhao Fusheng?"

Then her face showed a look of absurdity, "How could he? Where would he get the money?"

Li Yuan explained the whole story and then looked at her eldest daughter cautiously, stammering, "Your Aunt Zhao said that since Fusheng offered to help, she and Uncle Zhao agreed. After all, we're not outsiders."

"What do you mean he would help? It's not my debt, I..." Fan Baobao huffed, about to say something, but then her face changed, and her voice trembled, "Mom, you didn't agree to any conditions from that scoundrel Zhao Fusheng, did you?"

After much thought, this was the only possibility.

If her mother hadn't agreed to any conditions from Zhao Fusheng, how could he be so kind as to help pay off the five thousand yuan?

Not fifty, not five hundred, but five thousand yuan!

"Your Uncle Zhao and Aunt Zhao have always liked you. Fusheng, though he doesn't say it, has always taken care of you. I'm not in good health, your father is gone, and your sister is still young. I thought that if something happened to me, you and Beibei would have someone to take care of you," Li Yuan said, tears streaming down her face.

Her health had always been poor. Since giving birth to Fan Beibei, she had been taking injections and medication for the past two years, even afraid to go to the hospital for fear of finding out she was sick and having to spend money on treatment.

Marriage is the most effective makeup remover, revealing the last bit of pretense in many men. Li Yuan had once been happy, but as her husband became addicted to gambling, happiness began to fade.

Fan Baobao's eyes were already red, tears streaming down her cheeks. Although she found it absurd, she knew her mother was telling the truth. She had always been well-protected by her mother, but she knew the family had been drained by her father. Even her school tuition had been borrowed from various sources by her mother.

There was no such thing as a peaceful life; someone was always carrying the burden for us.

As a sensible daughter, Fan Baobao knew she couldn't let her mother be sad anymore. The greatest sorrow is the death of the heart. One husband had ruined her mother's first half of life, and if she didn't understand, her mother might really not be able to go on.

"Mom, I'll agree," Fan Baobao nodded resolutely, as if a martyr facing execution. In her view, for her mother, even if her whole life was ruined by that scoundrel Zhao Fusheng, she would accept it.

Little did she know, Zhao Fusheng's mood was no better.

Mysteriously arranged a fiancée by his parents, Zhao Fusheng had no way to argue, because he had offered to help the Fan family pay off the huge debt of five thousand yuan.

The truth was indescribable, and all the bitter fruits had to be swallowed alone.

Fortunately, Zhao Fusheng thought of something and looked at his parents tentatively, "Dad, Mom, we don't have that much savings, do we?"

The Zhao family was also a working-class family, and supporting a college student was already a strain. Where could they come up with five thousand yuan?

Just as he thought he had a point, Zhao Dad calmly glanced at his son and said, "The factory plans to buy out my seniority, which is exactly five thousand yuan. I didn't plan to agree, but since it's for you and Baobao, I'll agree."

Zhao Fusheng felt dizzy, feeling that his whole world was off.

But he also understood that his parents were doing this for his own good.

He didn't know when, but his communication with his parents had decreased. When he left home, his parents shed tears, and when he returned, he suddenly realized that his parents had aged, with more wrinkles on their faces, like candles burning themselves out to light the way, until one day, one of them would leave, followed by the other.

Love is separated by mountains and seas, and mountains and seas cannot be leveled.

Standing up, he gently hugged his father and said softly, "Dad, I'll listen to you."

If he had a second chance, Zhao Fusheng could care less about his current situation, but he couldn't ignore the two people in front of him.

"Stupid boy, you and Baobao are still young. Get to know each other first, and we'll plan the wedding in a few years," Zhao Dad patted his son's shoulder. Unconsciously, the little boy who used to follow him around had grown taller than him.

Zhao Fusheng's face turned red, but he couldn't explain, so he just grunted.

This action, in his parents' eyes, was naturally seen as his shyness.

"Let's cook. Since Fusheng is home, let's invite Li Yuan and Baobao and Beibei over for dinner," as the head of the family, Zhao Dad gave the instructions.

"Okay, I'll stew the old hen your father brought last time," Zhao Mom agreed.

"Alright, I'll buy a fish."

Seeing his parents preparing dinner, Zhao Fusheng sighed helplessly. Well, let them be happy. He would find a chance to talk to Fan Baobao later; he couldn't really marry that crazy woman.

Also, about his father's buyout, Zhao Fusheng vaguely remembered something else happening.