Chapter 44

On the way back, Xue'er felt uneasy, her mind filled with the scenes that made her heartache and fear, as if she were in a nightmare. The smooth and solid blue stone road seemed to her like walking on the clouds high in the sky.

How she wished everything this morning had been a dream! If it were a dream, there would be no refugees, no coercion, just an ordinary morning, peaceful and tranquil, as it used to be. But the scene she saw in front of the restaurant kept replaying in her mind, refusing to fade away: the emaciated old man, the ragged woman, the ruthless cudgel, and the pained, remorseful eyes, which made her heart ache uncontrollably.

Among the refugees who were being escorted away, she hardly saw any able-bodied men. With her quick wit, Xue'er quickly deduced the reason. They were most likely conscripted by the Qing army that had arrived earlier, or directly turned into cannon fodder on the battlefield. Before, Xue'er, from a well-off family, had no concept of the cruelty of war. Now, she had a preliminary understanding, seeing the many people who had been forced to leave their homes and families. If the war continued, what would the situation be like?

Thinking about this, Xue'er became extremely anxious and wanted to go back immediately to ask Qing Ying to write a letter to the German Emperor, requesting mediation in the war. However, halfway through, her urgent heart gradually calmed down, and she began to think more carefully about the problem. If she made this request, it would inevitably put him in a difficult position between her and his country. No matter whether Qing Ying agreed or refused, their relationship would no longer be as harmonious and intimate as it was, and they would eventually drift apart.

The thought of them becoming strangers, unable to return to their current relationship, caused Xue'er great pain. Her attachment to Qing Ying instantly overwhelmed her sympathy for the refugees. Was it really a wise choice to sacrifice her own happiness for the fate of strangers? She just wanted to forget this scene, shed this responsibility, and be a normal girl, snuggling up to him, serving him tea and water, making his bed...

Unconsciously, she had already arrived at the entrance of the quadrangle courtyard. The joy of a quarter of an hour ago was now filled with anxiety and confusion. Walking up the cobblestone path, pushing open the purple wooden door, and seeing the familiar figure at the table, Xue'er suddenly felt a lump in her throat. Two clear tears hung at the corners of her eyes, like two sparkling pearls, about to fall but not quite.

"What's wrong with you?" Seeing Xue'er suddenly shed two tears, Qing Ying was startled and quickly walked over, gently wiping away the tears from the corners of her eyes. Feeling Qing Ying's concerned gaze, Xue'er's nose tingled again. She suppressed the surging emotions in her heart, shook her head, and said hoarsely, "Nothing, I just got up too early this morning and haven't fully woken up yet."

Qing Ying looked at Xue'er with a puzzled expression. In the past, after buying breakfast, Xue'er would always act cute. This little girl was fine yesterday, but why did she seem so different this morning? Maybe it was because she didn't sleep well last night? He shrugged, reached out to touch Xue'er's head, and said affectionately, "After we finish eating, you can go back to sleep for a while."

Xue'er softly "hmm"ed, took out two steaming porcelain bowls from the lunch box. Under the heavy burden of her thoughts, even the delicious breakfast tasted like wax. After Qing Ying finished his portion, Xue'er hastily tidied up the table. With Qing Ying's puzzled gaze, she darted into her room.

"This Xue'er is really strange today." Looking at the closed wooden door, Qing Ying was filled with doubts and couldn't help but mutter to himself.

"Bang!" The door was closed, and after Xue'er locked it, she finally let out a sigh of relief.

Turning around, the room was bright and clean, with the dazzling sunlight slanting through the window, illuminating her entire boudoir. Xue'er frowned slightly, pulled the curtains, and ran over. With a "whoosh," the room became noticeably darker, appearing quiet and desolate. She quietly walked to the bed, sat down, and for a moment, it seemed as if the whole world was left to her alone. In the extreme silence, she could even hear the sound of her own heartbeat.

Should she gather the courage to ask him to use his influence to mediate the war, or pretend that today's scenes never happened and continue to be a pampered girl by his side?

Xue'er thought quietly, pondering for a long time, still wavering between these two choices. After so many days of interaction, Xue'er knew that although Qing Ying was younger, almost two years younger than her, he was the first heir to the throne of the country where her father had once been, just like the Crown Prince of the Qing Dynasty. If he spoke to his father, the powerful German Empire would likely intervene to mediate the war between the Qing and Japan, sparing the people from the suffering of war!

Xue'er's two delicate fingers twisted together, her clear face showing unmistakable worry and sorrow. Her father had studied in Germany for a period, not only teaching her German but also imparting knowledge that she could not learn from the Four Books and Five Classics. When the relationship between two countries escalated, everything was based on interests. For Germany to mediate this war would be a thankless task, and thus, there was no reason for them to do so. If she made this request, it would certainly make him feel awkward, and his displeasure was something Xue'er absolutely did not want to see. Even if he readily agreed and sent a request for mediation to his country, there was still the German Emperor above him. Would the Emperor agree?

"Go, go now and explain the situation to him, and ask him to use his influence to mediate this war!" A voice suddenly sounded in her mind, carrying a sense of righteousness and authority, "Did you see those people today? They are all pitiful people who have been forced to leave their homes because of the war. If you can end this war, you will be the greatest savior of the people!"

Xue'er was greatly moved and was about to stand up to act, but another urgent voice sounded in her mind, "No, you can't go. Xue'er, are you crazy? Those people are not your family or relatives; their lives and deaths have nothing to do with you. Why should you sacrifice your own happiness for theirs? For the past two months, he has treated you with care and respect, never saying a harsh word to you. Asking him to do this would put him in a difficult position. Besides, this is not something he can decide on his own!"

"You're right, their lives and deaths have nothing to do with you. But even so, how can you stand by and watch your compatriots suffer? Even if the chances are small, you must try. If you succeed, it will be the best outcome; if you fail, there will be no regrets. At least you will have made an effort to save the people of this country!" The first voice sounded again in her heart, now tinged with displeasure, "So what if it puts him in a difficult position? He is just a barbarian from Germany, not one of us. He has been eating and drinking here for so many days; he should pay some interest!"

"But he has been so good to you, never saying a harsh word. How can you bear to make him feel awkward and repay his kindness with ingratitude?" The second voice weakly countered.

The first voice angrily retorted, "Xue'er, you little minx, after falling in love, you have forgotten your national duty? Don't forget, he is only staying in the Qing Dynasty temporarily and will soon return to Germany. When that time comes, I doubt you can follow him! Your father and your roots are in Tianjin, in the Qing Dynasty. Your relationship with him is impossible, so give up on it!"

Xue'er was greatly shaken. Her clear face showed a mix of emotions, gradually revealing a determined look. She whispered, "You're right. I shouldn't let my feelings make me abandon my duty to this country. Besides, he will eventually return... After this, he will ultimately go back..."

Her shoulders trembled silently, as if she were silently sobbing. After a long time, she slowly regained her composure. Feeling the sourness in her throat, Xue'er suddenly felt a sense of dizziness. Countless memories flashed through her mind, finally settling on a scene from the past.

Two months ago, when she was selected as the only girl who could speak German to serve a foreign barbarian, her heart was torn into pieces. At the time, she hated the idea of serving an old and ugly foreigner so much that she would involuntarily imagine his various deaths every night. But when she met him, she found that he was a handsome young boy, not inferior to her in appearance. After two months of interaction, she had even developed some feelings for him. Fate's arrangements were indeed unpredictable. Now, she even felt grateful to the spy who selected her as his servant!

Unfortunately, he will eventually return...

PS: I've posted all the saved drafts from the weekend. Please give me some support by following!...

Page flip AD starts

Page flip AD ends