Chapter 49

Well, even though I'm busy, can you spare some time?

I sent a letter that basically said that. Since our next days off happen to coincide, it naturally led to the suggestion of meeting on that day. I was the one who proposed it.

Since it’s our day off, of course, we’ll be in casual clothes. If we were to meet at the castle, it might lead to some strange rumors, so it would be better to meet in the town below. It’s the closest place, after all.

By the way, if he suggests going for lunch at a new restaurant that just opened, you’d probably nod, right? It’s hard to say no, and you’re curious about the place.

...If I’m not just flattering myself, this is...

Making plans to meet for a meal and walking together...

Isn’t this what you’d call a date?!

I realized this fact the day before our meeting.

I was shocked when I realized this!

What, is this a date? Did I end up being the one who invited him? No, that wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to meet and give him a gift to express my gratitude. I ended up saying yes when he asked if I wanted to have a meal together, but is this something that falls under the category of a date?

Is this an event flag?!

No, that’s not it.

It’s too much to think that something will happen just because he’s attractive.

Maybe Lord Aldar Saul is also worried about the next tea party with Lord Dean Dain.

I should probably tell him that Lady Primera wants a letter from Lord Dean Dain. I acknowledge that the boy is trying to improve his messy handwriting, but maybe it’s something his older brother could help with.

What should I do in a situation like this?

If I choose my clothes too carefully for the date, will it seem like I’m trying too hard?

But if I go as usual, will it make me look like I don’t care?

No, no, calm down, me.

We’re not in a relationship where we would go on a date!

So there’s no need to be conscious of it! I’ve reached a conclusion!!

No, I really lost my cool.

It’s just a meeting, right? He’s come to my office many times before. It’s just a different place this time, so it’s no different from usual.

Yes, it’s just like any other time.

I’ll wear the hair accessory he gave me, go to the meeting place, give him the gift, express my gratitude, have a meal together, and then return to our respective quarters! Yes, it’s definitely not a date. There’s no misunderstanding about doing something in exchange for a gift; it’s just a meeting as friends.

Are we friends? Acquaintances? No, we’re a bit closer than acquaintances... I’m getting confused.

This excessive reaction to this person, this discomfort...

There’s nothing wrong with Lord Aldar Saul, but I have to come to terms with it myself.

In my past life, I was a woman who wasn’t popular.

I had romantic aspirations, but I couldn’t take the first step myself, and I didn’t make the effort to be noticed. I just ended up being dreamy.

During my student days, I thought that typical青春 (youth) events would start on their own and I’d fall in love and it would all work out, but in the end, such a sweet and simple thing didn’t exist!

Love isn’t like a game where it’s everywhere, and you can see your parameters and improve yourself. Reality doesn’t work that smoothly.

But I did fall in love. It was unrequited, and I did experience a breakup, and I learned that it was a pattern of “falling in love with love” by imposing my ideals unilaterally... I won’t delve into the old wounds any further!

I don’t have the habit of enjoying digging up my old wounds.

I just felt that I was plain and ordinary.

It was the same even after I became an adult.

And I got immersed in otome games where I could experience simulated love... which led to my reincarnation.

It’s fine to admire handsome men from a distance, but when they’re close by, it’s a bit of a problem. This is the reason why.

I can’t consult my younger brother, and I don’t want to consult the princess’s attendants. As the head maid, I have to maintain my dignity... No, what am I even consulting about? I’m overreacting.

The other day, I was laughed at by the prince for being plain in a bronze-colored casual outfit, so this time I’ll wear a lapis lazuli-colored dress to match the hair accessory. I can’t embarrass Lord Aldar Saul. I’m not beautiful, but I have to look presentable as the head maid of the princess’s palace. It’s a hassle to run into people who might gossip.

But this dress is the work of the old seamstress. She must have a remarkable talent... It’s a simple high-waist A-line long dress, but the lace around the collar makes it instantly stylish. I wonder what kind of brain structure she has to come up with such ideas... But I’m grateful.

According to the queen mother, she was divorced from her husband because she couldn’t have children and couldn’t return to her parents’ home, so the queen mother took her in. She has been with us for decades, but she laughed and said that if she had grandchildren, they would be about my age, and it makes her happy to treat me like a real granddaughter.

...Nnnn, Grandmaaaaaa!!

Oops, I got carried away and started to escape into fantasy.

Sigh, what should I do?

I’ve been thinking about it as a date, so I can’t help but be conscious of it.

Is it because he’s handsome? If he were just a regular guy, I wouldn’t be nervous. If it were Dan, I’d think of him as a cute younger brother. If it were Lord Dean Dain, I’d probably think of him as a Shiba Inu... Oops, I mean, like a younger brother. If it were the prince... Well, he’s the prince.

If it were Sebastian, I’d think of it as work.

Oh, I... I don’t really have many acquaintances who are around my age! This is a serious situation!!

No wonder Lady Primera is worried about my marriage prospects... No, it’s fine to live for my work. For a secure retirement!

I don’t say it out loud, but I do say something vague like, “If a good match comes along...”

But my ideal is to stay with Lady Primera.

I don’t want to quit my job. As a noble daughter, marriage is to protect the bloodline and prosper the family, and it includes “duties” like strengthening ties. I understand that, but maybe because of my memories from my past life, I find it tedious and unpleasant. Long live free love!! I won’t go that far, but I can’t accept a marriage of duty, where happiness is secondary to the role... As a noble daughter, I understand, but as a Japanese person from my past life, I can’t accept it.

Of course, I’m living as a noble daughter now. I understand that, and I’m aware that if I didn’t have a younger brother, I would have had to take a husband. I’m really enjoying my life now.

Having memories from my past life is a double-edged sword.

If I didn’t have them, I might not be so nervous about going out with Lord Aldar Saul. It would be easier!

But because of those memories, I’ve been able to meet the adorable Lady Primera.

Sigh, it’s complicated... I’m the one making it complicated.

It turns out that the protagonist is just a shy, unattractive woman when it comes to matters unrelated to work.

What, you knew?