Chapter 77

This time, it's a bit sweeter than usual. (Probably)

What was my past self like?

Born into an ordinary family, raised normally, and got a regular job... well, let's put aside my romantic experiences.

I didn't have any special hobbies, and my baking wasn't good enough to brag about. Well, to be honest, I didn't have many friends to share it with... but wait, there are more things I'm putting aside, aren't there?

What's wrong with this?!

I stopped him and made tea. That's fine. But then this silence! Even when I tried to come up with a topic, thinking about my past self led to this...

If this were one of those otome games I used to play, there would be topics and choices to select from!

Wait a minute. No, wait.

Why did I stop Lord Aldar Saul? Really...!!

I invited him over, and now I'm not saying a word, so he's looking confused. You know what that's called... it's awkward! I learned something!

Moreover, in my mind, choices from those otome games I played a long time ago are popping up.

He is right in front of me...!!

→ Let's confess!

Let's greet him.

No, no, no? Should I calm down?

Why are these the only two options?

Besides, I was the one who said, "After the garden party," and confessing is way too high a hurdle.

I have no intention of confessing. No, I don't. It's not that I don't, but I can't, right? But that's a minor difference, isn't it?!

"Um... is there anything you're worried about regarding security?"

Oh no!

I made him worry. I'm not saying anything, so I'm making Lord Aldar Saul talk! And the content is so serious!

Well, since I was stopped, I should be concerned first. We just said we'd work hard together the other day. But it's not that... I'm not worried about security.

That's right, I specified the timing, and as soon as I realized it, this happened. But somehow... I feel uneasy, irritated, and flustered!

Don't you understand what I'm saying? I don't understand either.

"No..."

"Is that so? ...Um, do you have something to discuss? If I can help, I will."

"Hey!"

"Yes?"

"Um... well..."

He's looking at me so sincerely and worriedly, but I want to say it's not that serious... but no, I should go with this momentum... no, I've never been the type to confess...

What should I do? What should I do!

I have no cards in my hand!

If I were a battle-hardened woman, I might be able to handle this calmly, but unfortunately, I'm a woman who has lived a life focused on work and not attracting attention! When it comes to work, I can handle it, but I have no experience with this kind of thing...

"Actually, I have a question."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Why... was it me?"

"Eh?"

I might as well ask boldly here.

I can't say, "There's nothing, I just wanted to have tea." After all, I stopped him because I was interested.

"Because I want to spend a little more time with you..." That kind of romantic talk is impossible for me.

No, it's not about confessing. I realized I like him. Yes, I have romantic feelings for Lord Aldar Saul. That's for sure.

But even if I like him and he likes me, it's not that simple.

He might have thought I was good because of how I work, but I know that this unattractive part of me is embarrassing.

I'm struggling so much right now, I feel like a child.

Still, I've always been afraid of getting hurt, even from my past life.

I think I can't be attractive to the opposite sex. Even in this life, my father has said I'm not beautiful and pitiful...

So, the possibility of disappointing him with this unattractive part of me is high, right?

Before I get hurt, before I get disappointed... if I can give up, the pain will be smaller.

I know.

It's a very cowardly thing to do. I think I should be more mature, but maybe it's because I'm an adult that I'm being cowardly.

"Lord Aldar Saul, you... gave me your heart. I was very surprised, and we agreed to give an answer after the garden party. But the more I calm down, the more I can't understand why someone like you, who is liked by women, would give me your heart."

"Is it that strange?"

"Eh? Well, I'm not very friendly. I'm not very attractive. I'm not good at dressing up or being glamorous..."

Lord Aldar Saul looked surprised. His eyes widened.

Eh, is that what's surprising?

When I evaluate myself, it makes me sad...

"Feeling love for someone is something that can only be justified after the fact, I think."

"Is that so...?"

"There are many people who can do the same work and work hard as you. But for me, it's because you are you that I find it appealing. I find it appealing because I like Lord Yuria, and I find your actions appealing."

"..."

"No, there was certainly a reason. If I have to mention it, I think it was when you were composed at that tea party and showed a gentle gaze towards the princess. I felt sorry for myself for thinking you were like the head maid based on rumors."

"Wow!"

Being compared to the head maid.

She's so scary... oh, sorry, so dignified. I knew I was seen as unfriendly and expressionless, but...

I didn't know I was seen that way back then. Well, I only thought of you as Lord Dean Dain's brother back then.

"Since then, every time I met you, every time I talked to you, the more I got to know Lord Yuria, the more I found you appealing."

"Um, that's enough, please..."

"I found your composed work attitude, the kindness in your gaze towards the princess and my brother, and your attention to detail in small things very feminine... and I want to pamper you with the things I gave you and spoil you."

"Ah, ah, that's enough, please!"

"I was just being honest."

I can't help but feel he's enjoying my flustered state.

...But, even when he saw me awkwardly at my debut in society, and even now, as a grown adult, looking pitiful and flustered...

Is it okay even then?

"Lord Yuria?"

"Is it... is it okay for me to... for someone like me to receive your heart?"

Really, I'm so happy.

I realized my feelings late, but being liked by someone I like makes my heart race so much, it's incredibly exciting.

But I'm timid. Receiving the feelings of someone as great as Lord Aldar Saul feels unworthy.

"I am the one who admires Lord Yuria."

"..."

"So, please... allow me to admire you."

Why is this person so kind?

Even though I'm so unattractive and timid, and I can't even accept something as simple as this, and I'm flustered... I think I should just be told to get a grip, but he's just smiling kindly, saying he just wants to be allowed to admire me.

I'm the one causing trouble.

What is he trying to do by pampering me like this?

Why can't I reject someone who pampers me like this!

Instead of saying, "Don't call the woman I like 'just someone,'" or "Let me do what I like," I'm just... how high is his romantic level? How can I compete with that?!

No, it's not a competition... but...

"Oh, Lord Aldar Saul, why are you so...!"

"Hehe, ...I might have made it more confusing."

"Eh? No, that's not..."

I was just complaining, but Lord Aldar Saul isn't to blame.

I set the deadline, and now I'm asking him to answer my questions for my own sake.

But he smiled kindly and answered... even though it was quite embarrassing, he didn't rush me for an answer, he just said he wanted to be allowed to admire me.

"Well, it's getting late. I should take my leave."

"Ah, ...y-yes, that's right."

"Thank you for the delicious tea."

"No, it's nothing..."

Lord Aldar Saul stood up with graceful movements, and his attitude towards me didn't change.

I was so flustered... I wonder if he already knows my answer?

"Lord Yuria?"

"Yes?!"

I was startled by the sudden call. Did I make a strange sound just now?

"I am being honest with my feelings. I hope you can believe that."

"Lord Aldar Saul..."

"Until the garden party, then."

...As I watched him leave, I thought.

That's all I could think of.

（Ugh, Lord Aldar Saul is so handsome...）

Otome power?

I shouldn't be asking for that from me!!

I was a protagonist who didn't know what otome power was.