Chapter 1

Reckless Genius Composer's Regression - Chapter 1 (1/482)

Every song I released topped the music charts.

I hadn't even properly learned how to compose.

A good house, a good car, and the royalties kept piling up...

Looking back, it felt like the whole world was at my feet.

"Please, I'll try to gather as much money as possible, just give me a song..."

"Mr. Composer, I have a really good friend..."

"I'll beg on my knees, just give me one chance..."

Everyone bowed and scraped to get a song from me.

My songs were like a guarantee of success.

That day was no different.

"20 billion won. I sold my house, my car, took out bank loans, and even borrowed from loan sharks to make this money. We're betting everything on this album..."

The representative of a small management company came to me with a bag of money.

The gist was simple.

He wanted a song for one of his company's artists.

"No."

Why did I refuse back then?

"Please..."

Was it because the amount of money wasn't enough to move me?

"I said no."

It wasn't because the amount offered was too low.

I had given songs for less money.

I had even given songs for free.

Perhaps...

I just didn't feel like giving a song.

"...I'll die."

Should I have given him a song then?

"...If you don't give me a song, I'll die."

His eyes were those of a man at the end of his rope.

But still...

I turned around and easily replied, "Then die."

With those words, cracks began to form in my life.

* * *

My life began to crumble.

The representative of the small management company, who had said he would die if I didn't give him a song, really did commit suicide.

If only he had the courage to die, I wanted to scream, try to save your company somehow.

"Damn it..."

The problem was that the blame for the representative's suicide was being directed at me.

The 'Composer A' mentioned in the news articles was clearly referring to me...

People were pointing fingers, convinced that 'Composer A' was me.

↳ [He's known for being a tyrant, and his relationships with women are rumored to be dirty.]

↳ [Many artists have even retired because of working with him.]

↳ [But his songs are good, right?]

↳ [I won't buy his music.]

↳ [Yeah, but he's a murderer.]

↳ [A classmate who claims to have been bullied by Min Hyun-seung posted a victim's statement. Here's the link.]

↳ [Shouldn't we check the facts first?]

↳ [What facts? Just looking at him, he's clearly a delinquent.]

↳ [Yeah, he must have been a troublemaker since he was young.]

Rumors and speculative articles began to flood the news, growing larger and more numerous.

Collective hysteria.

While some of the accusations about my temper and mistreatment of industry insiders were true...

Stories about bullying and frequent visits to nightclubs were all false.

↳ [He can't continue his activities, can he?]

↳ [Serves him right, it's disgusting.]

My agency only told me to be careful and then went silent.

'Whatever...'

People were mocking me as if I had lost everything.

For a moment,

I thought the same, but I still had the most important thing left.

Talent.

Sure, I thought, I'll just release a new song under a new name.

There would definitely be people who would buy the songs and artists who would want to sing them.

After all, I had come this far with just my talent, so there would be no problem.

'Everything will be fine.'

Ring.

Then, suddenly, the phone rang.

Hyun-seung frowned when he saw the caller.

It was his younger sister, Hyun-a, whom he hadn't spoken to in a while.

- Big brother, come to the hospital right now.

I could tell from her urgent voice that something had happened to Father, who was in the hospital.

* * *

Good news and bad news often come in pairs, they say.

"What the hell is this...?"

Father, whom I hadn't seen in months, was unrecognizably thin, and his face was yellow with jaundice.

He was deaf.

Father, who had been deaf, had been battling pancreatic cancer for quite some time.

"Why didn't you tell me it had gotten this bad-!"

His condition had clearly worsened since the last time.

"Min Hyun, what the hell...!"

At that moment, Father waved his hand to separate the two of us.

- Why are you fighting?

I raised my voice, which Father couldn't hear, to the slow sign language he was using.

"Why didn't you tell me until it got this bad!"

Hyun-a interjected.

"Have you even visited home once in the past few months?"

"What?"

"You just think that sending money is enough."

I had thought everything was going well.

Things were always going well, and...

Father's condition would gradually improve.

I had lived in ignorance.

Ignoring everything with the excuse of being busy.

Alone.

I had lived comfortably, without a care.

"That's-."

Just as I was about to make an excuse,

Hyun-a left the room.

- Hyun-seung, don't fight with your sister. After I'm gone, you two are all each other has.

Hyun-seung replied in sign language.

- Don't say that. Don't worry about the hospital bills, just get the surgery or treatment and get better.

As he made the weak gesture, "I will," he suddenly felt something.

"Huh?"

A sheet of music was on the bedside table next to Father's hospital bed.

"This is...?"

It was the sheet music for one of my songs.

- I asked Hyun-a to get it for me.

- Why did Father need the sheet music...

Why would a deaf person need sheet music?

- Just.

He nodded nonchalantly and replied.

- Wait a moment.

Thinking he needed to talk to his sister, Hyun-a, he left the room.

"Min Hyun."

At the end of the hallway, Hyun-a was sitting in a chair.

"Can we talk for a moment?"

"I have nothing to say."

"Father's condition is...?"

Hyun-a replied in a troubled tone.

"Father doesn't have much time left."

Hyun-a's eyes quickly welled up with tears.

"What...?"

It was a shocking revelation.

"The cancer has already metastasized, and there's nothing that can be done..."

At that moment,

'What?'

The world suddenly felt distant, as if it were moving away from behind my ears.

It was dizziness.

An uncomfortable noise echoed in my ears.

"Uh, uh, uh..."

Hyun-a shook my shoulder.

"Big brother, what's wrong all of a sudden?"

Everything returned to normal.

"...It's nothing."

With that, I got up and left.

"Big brother, at least say goodbye to Father!"

Hyun-a called out desperately as I hurried out of the hospital, but...

It was then that I realized something.

"Haa, haa..."

Just now, I had forgotten how to breathe.

I was certain.

There was definitely something wrong with my mind.

* * *

How much time had passed?

「Narcy.」

That was my second name as a producer.

A name derived from narcissism...

I thought it suited me, someone who lived in self-satisfaction.

Songs released under my new name were out.

"I knew it would happen."

As expected, all the songs released under my new name topped the music charts.

Regardless of the controversy...

My musical talent and skills hadn't disappeared, so I thought it was a natural result.

"Yeah, I knew it would happen..."

The public isn't that smart.

They flare up easily and cool down just as quickly.

Min Hyun-seung was already a forgotten name.

Even if I had killed someone while drunk driving, or if my promiscuous lifestyle or criminal activities were exposed, or if my drug use was discovered, the public would quickly forget after a brief period of self-reflection.

'For someone like me...'

I thought my crimes were nothing.

After all, they weren't intentional actions.

'So, for a while...'

I thought I could just live like this for a while.

If I kept a low profile...

Someday, I could return to my original name and resume my activities.

But.

Not long after that,

My name was plastered all over the entertainment news again.

An internal whistleblower's report?

People were quick to throw stones at me.

↳ [What's the point of being good-looking and talented if your character is trash?]

↳ [Really, how can someone be so shameless? What is he thinking?]

↳ [What did he think when he saw his songs topping the charts again under a new name? Haha.]

After that, I would often forget how to breathe dozens of times a day due to worsening panic attacks.

Medication would help for a short while, but the rest of the day would be a blur.

- As you know, it's not a situation where we can continue the contract. How about taking a break for a while...

While everyone was throwing stones at me, my agency informed me of the contract termination.

Just as I was reaching the peak of my panic attacks, my sister called.

- Big brother...

It was a call from Hyun-a.

"What happened...?"

Rushing to the hospital, I found Father in the 'Intensive Care Unit.'

Hyun-a, who had been crying all night, had puffy eyes and no more tears to shed.

"Shouldn't he have surgery right away?"

Hyun-a shook her head.

"His liver function is too low, and the cancer has already spread to his liver..."

Hyun-a continued with difficulty.

"It's best to prepare yourself."

I suddenly thought,

Is there any lower I can go?

* * *

Father was a frugal man.

One box.

All his belongings fit in one box.

Half of it was my sheet music.

'Sheet music...'

Father was definitely looking at the sheet music in the hospital.

- I asked Hyun-a to get it for me.

Why did a deaf person need my sheet music?

A trivial question suddenly crossed my mind. I approached Hyun-a, who was cleaning the living room.

"Hyun-a, I have a question."

"Sure."

"Father had sheet music in his room."

Hyun-a nodded.

"Father asked for it."

"But he can't hear."

Hyun-seung paused and asked.

"Why the sheet music?"

Hyun-a carefully replied.

"He was curious."

A moment of silence.

"Father was really curious about the songs you made. He wanted to imagine them by looking at the sheet music. I reluctantly brought it to him, and he spent the whole day looking at it..."

Looking at the sheet music, Father...

"I was so sad, I cried."

Ah.

What must he have felt?

At that moment,

Hyun-a bowed her head.

"Min Hyun-seung."

And in a low voice, she got to the point.

"Let's live like strangers from now on."

"Hyun-a, you..."

"I'm tired of everything."

The relationship was too rotten to be called family.

Where did it all go wrong?

With the loss of Father as a common point, we became strangers.

"Hyun-a..."

Perhaps it was a natural progression.

"I'm leaving."

Hyun-a, who was about to leave, stopped at the front door and continued.

"You're just taking everything back."

"Hyun-a..."

"Live selfishly from now on."

Hyun-a added.

"Make sure you live better than others."

"Min Hyun!"

"Family, everything, you've thrown it all away."

She emphasized her last words.

"At least live better than others."

With that, Hyun-a left the house.

Bang.

The front door slammed shut.

* * *

Not long after, I found myself alone by the river where I had scattered Father's ashes.

"Father, I brought this for you to take with you."

I muttered as I placed a thick bundle of sheet music tied with a string.

"Why did you look at this so much until it was so worn out?"

Perched precariously on the riverbank, I held the sheet music in my hand.

Rustle.

As I lit it with a lighter, the paper burned fiercely.

'If there's a next life, I'll definitely play it for you.'

I thought I wouldn't cry, but...

Sending Father off alone...

Tears streamed down my chin endlessly.

Hundreds of pages.

After burning hundreds of pages of sheet music, I finally got up.

"Huh?"

As I was shaking off the burnt paper fragments from my hands,

"Why, again..."

The "buzzing" noise in my head started again.

It was agonizing.

I couldn't breathe, and cold sweat poured down.

Damn panic attack, here again.

As usual, I forgot how to breathe and gasped for air.

I collapsed on the ground, groaning.

The symptoms were worse than usual, and I had no way to deal with them.

"Ugh..."

I struggled to take out my phone, but it slipped from my trembling hands and fell into the sea with a splash.

'Please...'

My vision quickly went dark.

Soon.

Complete darkness and silence enveloped me.

Was Hyun-a right?

Is everything my karma?

I don't know.

But if I were given another chance,

'I want to live differently...'

A life different from this continuous string of misfortunes, something that can't be called karma.

'Father...'

Only at the brink of death did I want to write a song for him.