Chapter 1. A Miracle Has Come

How much time does it take to fall from the pinnacle of life to the depths of despair?

For Ahn Si-hyun, a few days were enough.

“Ha... Damn it. Why is life so damn cruel? Things were finally starting to go well, and now cancer?”

“It’s me who’s sick, so why are you crying your eyes out?”

“I’m not crying, brat. It’s just dry in the hospital.”

“Dry? It’s more like a waterfall.”

“Damn it. Why is it so dry here? My eyes keep watering! Turn on the humidifier!”

Ahn Si-hyun.

A 20-year veteran actor.

Just as he was about to reach the peak of his acting career by winning the Best Actor award at the Korean Film Awards, he was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer during a routine health check-up and began his battle with the disease—a life story straight out of a drama.

He laughed when he saw his friend and national actor Kim Jin-mo, who came to visit him and was sobbing uncontrollably.

Of course, he wasn’t laughing on the inside.

Several months passed quickly.

Despite holding onto a thin thread of hope, he managed to survive for a year, but his health continued to deteriorate. At some point, even the forced smile he managed to maintain disappeared.

Ahn Si-hyun was exhausted.

Is there any meaning in living like this?

Is it really for my own good to prolong my life with the help of medicine without being able to do what I want?

Yeah. I’ll just let it all go.

Rather than living a miserable life, I’ll just accept my fate. Buying a house in the countryside and living quietly until the end of my life doesn’t sound so bad.

At the moment he let everything go...

-If you go back to when you were healthy, could you become a national actor?

A miracle happened to Ahn Si-hyun.

* * *

That day was the best day of Ahn Si-hyun’s life.

“The Best Actor at the 2019 Korean Film Awards... Congratulations, my friend! Ahn! Si! Hyun!”

Dozens of cameras focused on Ahn Si-hyun all at once.

Amid the applause and cheers of his fellow actors, Ahn Si-hyun stood up, looking at his 25-year friend who was on stage as the presenter.

‘Finally... Finally, I’m getting it.’

Supporting actor, scene-stealer, master of villainous roles.

The public had given Ahn Si-hyun many nicknames.

Thanks to appearances on a few variety shows, his recognition as an actor was quite high. Many people knew his face even if they didn’t know his name.

But he was a perennial supporting actor.

He wasn’t entirely without experience in leading roles.

When his popularity was on the rise, he got one chance to play a lead role, but it was a box office failure. After that, he rarely got the opportunity to play a leading role for a long time.

He was the best supporting actor, and all directors cast him without hesitation, but there was something lacking in him as a leading actor.

That was Ahn Si-hyun.

Of course, that prejudice was now broken.

His second comedy film, "Undercover Employment," was a box office success, attracting 8 million viewers.

Ahn Si-hyun’s performance as the protagonist, Park Cheol-woo, a corporate spy who gets a series of promotions, was praised for turning a formulaic film into a masterpiece.

The Best Actor award at the Korean Film Awards was his reward.

Ahn Si-hyun walked up on stage. Even before receiving the award, his eyes were already red.

20 years.

It took exactly 20 years to reach the top.

The young man full of passion at 21, with only acting on his mind, had become a 20-year veteran actor in his middle age, with wrinkles and gray hair.

It took so long.

“You deserve this, man. You should have gotten it long ago. I knew you would eventually make it.”

“...Thank you, Jin-mo.”

“Don’t drag on your acceptance speech. You don’t want to become a black history.”

“Sigh. I’ll try.”

Ahn Si-hyun shared an intense hug and a brief conversation with Kim Jin-mo, the previous year’s Best Actor, and finally stood in front of the microphone.

“Sigh...”

Instead of an acceptance speech, a deep sigh escaped his lips.

His mind was a jumble of thoughts. He couldn’t think of what to say or what expression to make.

Tears began to flow.

He cried more bitterly than in any of his tearful acting scenes, pouring out his overwhelming emotions.

Clap, clap, clap!

His fellow actors cheered him on with a standing ovation, moved by his tears.

After crying for a long time, Ahn Si-hyun finally managed to speak.

“I’ve spent more than half of my life acting, starting from my middle school drama club. Even though I’ve won the Best Actor award, my life won’t change. I will strive to be an actor who dedicates himself to acting until the end of his life.”

However,

Sadly, Ahn Si-hyun’s dream did not come true.

* * *

Someone said,

Sometimes reality is more dramatic than drama.

Ahn Si-hyun thought his life was more dramatic than any drama. If there was a scriptwriter, he would have wanted to grab them and give them a good scolding.

Stage 3 pancreatic cancer.

The doctor said that because the cancer was near the blood vessels, surgery might be difficult, and chemotherapy should start as soon as possible.

Three days after winning the Best Actor award at the Korean Film Awards, he was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer during a routine health check-up.

Worse, the possibility of surgery was slim.

The doctor advised Ahn Si-hyun to rest, follow a diet, and exercise. He also suggested that it would be best to take a break from acting until his health improved.

Ahn Si-hyun asked what would happen if he continued acting.

“It’s not impossible, but it won’t be easy to combine chemotherapy. It will be a tough time both physically and mentally, and it’s hard to guarantee a cure. It’s best to focus on management until your health improves.”

After saying he needed some time to think, Ahn Si-hyun left the examination room and headed to the hospital rooftop.

He habitually took out a cigarette.

“Pancreatic cancer... Ha ha.”

In his forties, he finally felt he understood acting. His acting skills, enhanced by experience and insight, met a good opportunity and bloomed with the Best Actor award.

Just when he thought he could finally act well and take off as a leading actor, he was diagnosed with cancer.

Worse, it was pancreatic cancer, known for its low survival rate.

How should he accept this situation?

When one cigarette burned out, he put another in his mouth. He repeated the same actions of lighting and smoking cigarettes, but...

Ahn Si-hyun couldn’t accept the situation.

It was painful not to be able to act to his heart’s content, not to have a body that could keep up.

If he could, he would use every means and method to get treatment.

Money and fame didn’t matter.

All he needed was a healthy body to act to his heart’s content.

Drip, drip, drip.

Despite the forecast of a sunny day, heavy rain poured down.

With the pouring rain, Ahn Si-hyun’s heart also crumbled.

* * *

There was no miracle of a misdiagnosis or a sudden improvement in health. His health didn’t noticeably improve even with chemotherapy.

All he could do was hope for an improvement in his health while undergoing chemotherapy, and if that didn’t work, hope that his condition wouldn’t worsen.

In the end, Ahn Si-hyun announced a temporary hiatus from his activities.

He shaved his head, managed his diet, exercised, and continued chemotherapy for several months.

There was no improvement. The best he could do now was to prevent the cancer cells from spreading to other organs.

At some point, the smile on Ahn Si-hyun’s face disappeared.

He spent most of his days listlessly and without emotion. He only managed to smile when Kim Jin-mo and other friends came to visit.

For Ahn Si-hyun, each day without acting was like living in hell.

Then, he suddenly realized.

There was no hope of recovery.

Chemotherapy was not a means to recover but a means to endure.

There was no such thing as hope.

‘Is this the right way to live?’

He held onto a thin thread of hope for a year but saw no improvement.

Is there any meaning in living like this?

Is it really for my own good to prolong my life with the help of medicine without being able to do what I want?

Yeah. I’ll just let it all go.

Rather than living a miserable life, I’ll just accept my fate. Buying a house in the countryside and living quietly until the end of my life doesn’t sound so bad.

At the moment he let everything go,

Ahn Si-hyun regretted it.

He should have tried a little harder, done a little better, taken better care of his body. The regret over his acting and health flashed through his mind like a slideshow.

Then, to Ahn Si-hyun...

-If you go back to when you were healthy, could you become a national actor?

A miracle suddenly appeared.

* * *

He introduced himself as a god who enjoyed watching movies and dramas. He said he liked actors who acted well, regardless of their nationality.

The most recent movie he found interesting was "Undercover Employment."

Ahn Si-hyun’s leading role in a comedy that was a rare hit in Korea.

That’s why he spoke to Ahn Si-hyun.

While listening to the voice in his head, Ahn Si-hyun wondered if he was going crazy.

It seemed more reasonable to think he was crazy than to believe that a god who enjoyed movies and dramas had spoken to him at the moment he decided to give up on life.

-If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you proof.

A moment later.

Boom!

A bolt of lightning struck out of a clear sky.

A bolt of lightning that fell without any warning. It was clearly a phenomenon that couldn’t happen naturally.

Only then did Ahn Si-hyun believe in the existence of the god.

He also asked if the god could really make him healthy and let him act again.

The god’s answer was no.

-Not making you healthy, but regressing you to a healthy time. It means going back to the past.

“Regression... I accept. Please send me back to the past.”

He had nothing to lose.

He had already decided to give up on treatment and accept death. Even if the god’s words were a lie, he had nothing to lose.

-Request accepted.

“Do I need to pay a price?”

-Make me satisfied with your acting.

“That’s a good goal. If I regress, my goal is to become a national actor.”

-How about giving you some abilities?

“No.”

Ahn Si-hyun firmly shook his head.

He didn’t need the abilities the god offered. They were meaningless to him.

A healthy body was enough.

That was all he needed.

He wanted to become a national actor purely through his own abilities, no matter what difficulties he faced. With 20 years of acting experience, he believed he could achieve it with a healthy body.

At that moment, Ahn Si-hyun felt his eyelids getting heavy.

-You won’t get sick with pancreatic cancer. When you go back, don’t miss your chance.

With the god’s last words, Ahn Si-hyun fell asleep.

When he woke up, he realized he was not in the hospital room where he had fallen asleep but in a different place.

He quickly recognized where he was.

He couldn’t have missed it.

‘The attic! The attic! I really went back in time!’

It was the attic in Daehak-ro where he and Kim Jin-mo lived together from his acting debut in college to a few years later.

Hot in summer, cold in winter, infested with all kinds of bugs, leaking rain, and covered in mold, it was a cheap attic.

But it was a place full of memories with Kim Jin-mo. It was a place he couldn’t visit anymore after the building was demolished in 2009.

The fact that he was back there was proof that he had really regressed.

Ahn Si-hyun turned on the old TV to find out when he had regressed.

“February 22, 1999... Wait, February 22?”

Ahn Si-hyun’s eyes widened when he confirmed the date.

February 22, 1999.

Three days before the winter break before the start of the second semester of his sophomore year, when Ahn Si-hyun and Kim Jin-mo were about to attend their first audition.

He had regressed to that point.

Only then did Ahn Si-hyun understand the meaning of the god’s words about not missing his chance when he went back.

‘That’s why he said that.’

Three days later, Ahn Si-hyun and Kim Jin-mo would pass the audition.

However, Kim Jin-mo would get a supporting role, and Ahn Si-hyun would get a minor role with only three lines.

But this time, it would be different.

No, he would make it different.

‘This time, I won’t miss that role. For myself and for the success of the movie, I will definitely pass the audition.’

Three days until the audition.

Ahn Si-hyun was determined to pass the audition at all costs.

To do that, the first thing Ahn Si-hyun did was...

‘Quit smoking.’

He threw the cigarettes and lighter on his bedside table into the trash.

Live a healthy life and act until the end.

That was Ahn Si-hyun’s goal.

And if possible...

‘I want to win an acting award or a Best Actor award before my military service, before I turn thirty. To become a national actor, I need to do that, don’t I?’

He wanted to stand at the top in his twenties, like Kim Jin-mo.