Chapter 14

After the last class was over and sending Kang Ji Seok off with Minah-noona, I went to the supermarket alone. If it hadn’t been for the notepad on my phone where I had jotted down what to buy in advance, I would have just dragged along the empty cart for a long time and forgotten what to buy.

It was good to have bought everything I wanted, but the problem was that a lot of it was planned for the two of us, so it became a pretty heavy load for me.

I walked out of the supermarket holding two bags of stuff, one in each hand, and headed towards Ji Seok’s house. All the while, the image of Ji Seok’s back retreating away with Minah-noona, was playing endlessly in my mind.

My heart was more anxious than sad. Although it was great for them to meet after six years, Ji Seok’s eyes when looking at Minah-noona were clearly different from usual. Moreover, after realizing that the ideal type Ji Seok had talked about before was this noona, I felt that my whole body was losing strength.

‘Well then, what do you want to do, Shin Woo Seo?’

I asked myself. I knew it wouldn’t work out with Ji Seok, and it wasn’t that I didn’t expect someone else would be with him. One day, he would meet the ideal woman he wanted and get married. And at that time, I was determined to not make it obvious and coolly let him go.

But I guess people’s hearts are not that simple. The imaginary little stones that used to roll down my throat were now scraping all the way down to my chest. Before I could give up, jealousy had raised its head first, hurting myself.

I wished I was a woman.

I wished I was a sweet and cheerful person.

I wished I was older than Kang Ji Seok.

The more I pictured Kang Ji Seok’s ideal type in my head, although brief but certain, the farther away it was from me. On the other hand, Minah-noona, whom Kang Ji Seok treated so kindly and was attached to, was a perfect match, so it was embarrassing to even ask him if she was his ideal type.

All I could do at the moment was try my best to calm my tangled heart somehow. Then when the day comes, I would be able to give up peacefully as if I had prepared in advance.

As I walked in thought, I seemed to have forgotten the weight pulling on both my arms. It was not until I almost lost grip of the bag because I was overwhelmed by the pain digging into and chafing my palm, that I woke up. The bag containing eggs was about to slip out of my hand. I quickly tried to squeeze my hand and hold it tight again, but suddenly someone’s hand popped out from behind.

“Give it to me.”

I turned my head around at the unexpected voice. Before I knew it, Ji Geon-hyung was standing behind me. I wondered why, at this time when the sun was just beginning to set, hyung was behind me.

Ji Geon-hyung grabbed all the bags from me and put them in the back seat without a word. In an instant, the two heavy loads disappeared and I alternately kneaded the palms of both my hands where the blood couldn’t circulate. The door of the back seat slammed shut with a bang, then hyung came closer, grabbed my hand and spread open my palm. The line [mark] from holding the handle of the bag was still very clear and the area around it had turned white.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

With slightly knitted brows, hyung was firmly pressing my palms to circulate the blood, and made eye contact. My mouth opened only after those sharp eyes became gently curved.

“Isn’t it still time for you to pretend to be working overtime?”

“Right. But today, I thought Ji Seok-ie would come home late, so I tried to leave early.”

‘How did you know that? Did Kang Ji Seok call you?’

Ridiculously, I thought Kang Ji Seok contacted his brother because he was worried about me. I knew it was funny for a friend to worry about a grown-up young man, but I still couldn’t help but hope.

As if to shatter my hopes, hyung held up his cell phone and showed me a picture. It was a selfie taken by Minah-noona and Ji Seok. It looked like she took it herself from the angle of her raised hand.

“Han Minah sent it. With Ji Seok, together, they were walking around the department store and they told me to come.”

Looking at the photo, I couldn’t hide my dejection. The only thing that looked more excited than Minah-noona in the photo was Kang Ji Seok. Seeing him put his arm around noona’s shoulders in a friendly way made my stomach twist.

“I heard she was close with you, hyung…you should have gone, too.”

If it was Ji Seok, he should have known that it was time for Ji Geon-hyung to meet his ring’s counterpart, but that was enough for him to get around his brother. It’s been six years since they met and Ji Geon-hyung was closer to her than Ji Seok, so on a day like today he might express his feelings1.

I tried my best to pretend to be calm, but somehow it seemed to be of no use with hyung.

“It’s true we’re close, but there’s no need to overthink it.”

Hyung grabbed my hand, dragged me to his car and sat me down in the passenger seat. Then, he fastened my seat belt and with the same smile as Kang Ji Seok’s, he looked at me.

“And that’s not what you want.”2

It was as if he had read my deepest thoughts.

Hyung was pretending to be Kang Ji Seok, not Kang Ji Geon. Saying the words I hoped for.

Smirking, he then squeezed my hand which had turned red from too much blood circulation.

“Am I that obvious?”

“No.”

“Then how did you know?”

“I don’t know if it’s obvious. Just how you are.”

Once again, an empty chuckle flowed out. Just like how I paid attention to Kang Ji Seok everyday, it was the same. It was like how I could recognize what kind of state Kang Ji Seok was in without him showing anything. Just by looking at his small actions and eyes, I could read his emotions.

‘This [moment] also resembles how I hope Kang Ji Seok would be.’

A situation where a person whose appearance was similar to Kang Ji Seok, gives off the same vibe, and gives [me] the desired attention brought a strange tickle somewhere in my heart.

After closing the passenger door, hyung returned to the driver’s seat and immediately drove home. His cell phone vibrated a few times along the way. I said I could answer it as I thought it was a phone call, but after checking the name on the screen, he turned it off as if very annoyed. I wanted to ask if it was Minah-noona but I knew nothing would change just because I knew it [was], so I didn’t bother and kept my mouth shut.

“What’s today’s menu?”

When we arrived home and entered the parking lot, hyung had asked me.

“I was about to make beef radish soup and soy sauce braised eggs3 but since I’m going to eat alone anyway, I’m thinking about just eating ramen.”

Even so, I had gone grocery shopping with both hands full for those things.

As hyung unfastened his seatbelt, he frowned and raised the corner of his eyes. That alone gave off a different cold atmosphere than before, and without realizing, made me nervous.

“Why eat alone?”

“That’s because hyung must’ve had, already…”

As I spoke, I saw that his face would still not loosen, so I asked carefully.

“Could it be, have you not eaten dinner yet?”

It was an hour and a half past six o’clock, so I thought he had definitely eaten already.

Ji Geon-hyung straightened his slightly frowning face and smiled like Kang Ji Seok with a wistful look in his eyes.

“Let’s eat together. I’m hungry, Woo Seo-ya.”

With a friendly voice, hyung’s large hand stroked my head. Perhaps because he’s been stroking my hair several times a day, I’ve gotten so used to it to the point where I had quietly offered my head.

After dissuading Ji Geon-hyung from trying to unfasten my seatbelt for me and getting out by myself, he came out carrying the fairly heavy bags with ease. Seeing that, I thought it would be good to work out and build some muscle in my arms.

We came home and I was preparing ingredients while Ji Geon-hyung, after washing up and changing into comfortable clothing, stuck behind my back and watched everything.

“Hyung, you’re bothering me.”

“Just pretend I’m not here.”4

If I moved, he moved, if I stopped, he stopped; he was so attached to my back that I couldn’t help but be bothered. Furthermore, I didn’t expect he would be watching me cook in a strange way like this, because he would usually eat out every time since he comes home late, except on weekends

I put the neatly sliced vegetables on a plate and gave him my full attention.

“You’re standing right behind me, how can I pretend you’re not there?”

“It’s because I’m amazed at how you cook. My family members are all people who have broken off their relationship with cooking.”

Ji Geon-hyung smiled with a friendly expression and gently took out the plate I was about to take out of the cupboard and put it down. I didn’t even say what I was trying to take out of [the cupboard] and wondered if he had incredibly good sense or sharp-sightedness, he was always one step ahead whenever I was going to do something. It felt like I was introduced to a quick-witted kitchen assistant.

When I thought of him as a kitchen assistant, I could imagine hyung’s head covered with a chef’s hat. There was such a gap in the mismatched picture that I burst out laughing without realizing it.

At the same time, I was grateful to him. If hyung wasn’t with me, I would have just cooked a cup of ramen by now, and only thought of Ji Seok and Minah-noona until the noodles were bloated.

The food I had been preparing was completed, and along with warm rice, the table was packed. It was a simple meal with not many side dishes, but I couldn’t help but feel proud thanks to Ji Geon-hyung eating it with such admiration. So, I opened my mouth to try the foods hyung prefers, keeping them in mind which had only consisted of foods Ji Seok likes.

Beep beep—

I heard the lock of the front door open and soon after, Kang Ji Seok, who was supposed to be shopping with Minah-noona, rushed inside. Ji Seok stared at me and Ji Geon-hyung, who were eating while seated at the dining table in the kitchen, and for some reason slightly frowned.