Chapter 24

I took my eyes off the curtains, thinking that I heard as much as I needed to.

“Don’t change the subject, hyung.”

Ji Seok’s hand rested on my shoulder. Not only that, he glared narrowly enough to impose a strong pressure.

“What are you doing, Kang Ji Seok?”

“If my guess is right…”

His voice deepened fiercely, his mouth opened then closed for a moment. Then, as if crushing my shoulder, he squeezed his hand with as much force as possible.

“I’m going to leave together with Woo Seo someday.”

‘Who? You? Dare to?’

I could tell without looking in the mirror. My eyes were murderous that there must have been a grim air flowing out from them. Nevertheless, Kang Ji Seok’s eyes did not waver.

“I warned you, hyung.”

Kang Ji Seok’s hand fell off. The shoulder he was clenching was still tingling. Going to the gym as if he were eating was definitely effective, the strength of his grip was considerable.

I turned around, looking at Kang Ji Seok’s back as he was about to leave the veranda, and asked.

“Is that warning out of concern for your friend?”

Ji Seok, who was putting force around his eyes as if still suppressing his anger, looked back over his shoulder and asked back.

“What else is there besides that?”

I looked back and stared [at him] like I was analyzing his eyes.

After looking at him like that for a while, I smirked and rubbed out the cigarette on the ashtray I had placed on the railing.

“What would you do if I was serious about Woo Seo, unlike before?”1

I was already serious and absolutely could never fail as long as there was a ring, but I still asked with the word ‘if’. Even so, Ji Seok’s eyes did not waver.

“Even then, don’t.”

Ji Seok turned his head and put his hand on the doorknob of the veranda door.

“Woo Seo…don’t ever.”

Kang Ji Seok left the veranda, leaving behind those words.

I leaned back against the railing alone in the silence filled by the cold wind. I took out a new cigarette, bit it in my mouth, and lit it without a word. The cigarette smoke that penetrated my lungs through the new filter, cleared the dullness in my head a bit.

‘Kang ji Seok…’

As I understood through the conversation, it was quite difficult. I hoped I was wrong this time, but sadly, I could only think that I was correct. At that moment a strong sense of crisis came over me.

‘I shouldn’t be fazed by it.’

While burning the cigarette, the conversation with Ji Seok was still playing out in my head, over and over.

After blowing some cigarette smoke into the cold wind, I came out to the living room and sent a message to Woo Seo.

[Come to my room. I’ll comfort you.]

Woo Seo should also know that I was aware of it when our eyes met. As expected, Woo Seo pretended to be fine.

[I’m fine. I’ll have it sort it out soon.]2

It’s not fine. He must be huddled up with a face like he’s about to die from heartache.

I stood in front of Woo Seo’s door. He didn’t seem to have a habit of locking his door since he lived in a studio apartment for a while, but I still didn’t open it myself and sent a text message.

[Open the door.]

Having him open the door personally was one way to reassure Woo Seo and make him lean on me. Whether it was a door or a heart, the more careful I am that I don’t force him to let me in when he doesn’t want to open it, the more likely Woo Seo will open it himself, even if I don’t have to tell him to.3

At first glance, Woo Seo’s face as he opened the door hesitantly, seemed fine. However, the moment he met my eyes, he lowered his eyes like out of habit and shrank his shoulders. Seeing that his eyes trembled slightly when he lowered them, he certainly seemed to have suffered a considerable blow.

I dragged Woo Seo to my room and embraced him to sleep. I could have comforted him with words, but rather than doing so, it was more effective to pat and stay beside him without saying a word. While being timid and thoughtful, Woo Seo showed significantly fewer outward expressions of emotions. Even if he hated it, just by looking at him, because of his invisible pride, I could see that he was adjusting his facial expressions and mood in his own way.

The sounds of Woo Seo’s, who had been lying silently, breathing gradually changed to even out.

“Good night, Woo Seo-ya.”

Woo Seo fell asleep without a response. After confirming that the sound of his breathing became even, I buried my face in his hair in my arms and kissed him.

‘Like this, please continue to keep struggling.’

‘Then that way, I can dig into your confused heart.’

++++++++++

The opportunity quickly came.

Perhaps it was because of the alcohol, Woo Seo, whose expression cleared up, had mistaken me for Kang Ji Seok and cursed. It was strange, but above all, it was the first time I saw such an emotional appearance that it was quite interesting.

“You get violent when you’re drunk.”

Woo Seo recognized me only after hearing that and apologized with a very embarrassed look. It was cute.

It was worth waiting here after receiving Kang Ji Seok’s message, “Don’t wait up because I’ll be late after drinking with my friends.”

I pretended to need sleep under the pretext of having to work the next day even though I had nothing scheduled. Woo Seo, who was apologetic, seemed to be thinking for a while and carefully asked me to drink together. I took him away immediately and bought him some strong drinks. As his eyes gradually relaxed, the words inside Woo Seo were exposed one by one.

Already, a crack had formed.4

I couldn’t miss it and burrowed into the crack. As Woo Seo desired, I approached kindly with a smile that resembled Kang Ji Seok and naturally crossed the line. Then I pretended that what I was doing was just faithfully fulfilling our contract. Woo Seo, who had a dreamy look on his face, seemed to be in conflict but eventually, he put what his instincts were saying in his mouth.

“Kiss… I want to try it.”

The kiss with Woo Seo was much sweeter than I expected. The more we kissed, the deeper I wanted to covet him, and the more I wanted to make a mess inside. This addictive kiss that I had never felt before felt as nice as a good night’s sleep with him.

However, the fact that someone other than me had touched these lips first poured cold water on my fever.5 I don’t know who he is, but if the bastard who confessed to Woo Seo were in front of me, I would have trampled him immediately.

Woo Seo pretended that he was the only person he had kissed. But I knew he had secretly kissed Ji Seok. When I remembered that time, something hot seemed to have risen from inside.

“Eup, ha…hyung, wait…!”

Unfamiliar with the kiss, Woo Seo turned his head and tried to push me away.

‘Don’t push away.’

‘Don’t push me away, Woo Seo-ya.’

‘I feel like I’m going crazy.’

We were kissing but I didn’t want to be pushed away, so I forced myself to soften my eyes as if I was Kang Ji Seok.

“It’s not hyung. It’s Ji Seok.”

‘So don’t be nervous.’

‘Give me the kiss you gave Ji Seok that time.’

I licked his lips gently and whispered again.

“You are kissing Kang Ji Seok.”

His hazy eyes trembled mercilessly. It was clearly me in those eyes, and Woo Seo also must have known that but it was not easy to ignore. Kang Ji Seok, who comes to mind through me.6

My heart ached. I hate it when people say things to project others onto me, but still, I hoped that he looked at me like [he would] Kang Ji Seok for this moment.

I knew it was a contradiction.

I wished that Woo Seo would look at me clearly instead of Kang Ji Seok, but in this case, I had to use Ji Seok even if I didn’t like it because I knew that if I did that, I would be conscious of keeping my distance. Even in that way, I wanted to widen the crack in Woo Seo once more. So I can keep coming and going any time.

My hypnotic words paralyzed the drunken Woo Seo. The excessively tense body gradually relaxed and the stiff tongue became pliant with the mixing of saliva unknown of whose it was. With a shallow moan to himself, he rubbed my lip and entangled in me with his small tongue that became heated.

It was a sweet but bitter kiss. Woo Seo was short of breath and collapsed onto me from being inexperienced with kissing and the heat of the alcohol. In addition, there was the natural drowsiness caused by having physical contact7, and his trembling eyes gradually closed.

I patted Woo Seo’s head as he fell asleep and murmured softly.

“Hurry up and look at me, Woo Seo-ya.”

He was leaning completely on me. I laid Woo Seo down in the chair correctly, tilted his body, and approached his lips again. As I looked at his saliva-stained lips turn red, the emotions I’ve been holding down kept bursting out.

“As long as we’re connected to the ring, you’re mine anyway.”

‘I’ll make it that way.’

With my thumb, I pressed against Woo Seo’s soft lips, stroking them. The sound of even breathing filled with alcohol flowed through between the naturally opened lips. He used to fall asleep each time without being fully relaxed, but now he was comfortably asleep in front of me.

Woo Seo’s sleeping face was clearly etched into my eyes. It was always a habit of mine after he fell asleep, but today the feeling was more intense and fresh.

Slowly, as if breathing in, I brought my lips together and grabbed the left hand on his thigh with my left hand. Then, among our feebly intertwined fingers, I kissed the ring finger with a red ring engraved on it and sucked on the thin flesh.

The area around the ring was dyed red as if wearing thick red shackles.