Chapter 1

I posted this because it suddenly came to mind.

I aim to write around 100,000 words.

My name is Matsuo Atsushi.

I was a 31-year-old man who was a member of the strongest exploration party Japan could boast of, known as the "Guild Knight." This party was top-notch, not just in Japan but globally, due to the level of its members and their dungeon exploration achievements.

Of course, the other members were mostly around 40 to 50 years old, so I was the youngest among them. But that's fine.

At the time, I was surrounded by the Japanese Explorer Guild for certain reasons, but I didn't have significant complaints about it.

I wasn't bullied or persecuted by the members or people around me.

I received a decent salary and had a fair amount of freedom.

My family was proud of me being a member of the "Guild Knight."

There was some discomfort due to surveillance, bodyguards, and movement restrictions, but if I thought about it, that's just how life is for working adults.

In fact, if I hadn't been secured by the Japanese Guild, I might have been taken to another country and subjected to human rights violations, such as forced dissection experiments under the banner of "for the country," or worked in a black company with 30-hour workdays, treated like a corporate slave.

My family might have been taken hostage or disposed of without my knowledge.

Compared to such a miserable future, being surrounded by the Guild wasn't so bad.

At the time, I really thought that.

To be honest, I was out of my mind back then.

Isn't the situation I'm in now the worst?

Is there something even worse?

So what?

It's just the difference between being raised in a somewhat free pasture or being confined in a broiler farm where you can barely move.

If given a choice, most people would choose the former.

But the fact that the only options are these two is fundamentally wrong.

The first Guild Master said this:

"When exploring, you need to be free, unobstructed, and, in a way, saved."

Considering that, what was I like back then?

As a member of the "Guild Knight," I had no decision-making power during expeditions and was just a machine following orders and using skills as told.

Even when I explored dungeons alone, there was always a "guard" watching me, and I was instructed by Guild staff to retrieve specific items.

Upon returning from the dungeon, I was thoroughly searched to ensure I hadn't stolen anything, and I knew the prices I received for the materials I collected were significantly reduced.

At the time, I didn't question any of these issues.

But now I understand. I was being deceived.

What the hell is "theft" anyway?

Items dropped in the dungeon should belong to the person who found them.

Why are you forcibly confiscating them?

At least buy them at market price.

And what's with the free tickets to the Guild-operated brothel?

I used them, though. I went there many times.

But every time I used a ticket, the payment window staff made a subtle face.

And the person I designated even told me, "You're known as a free ticket user."

I felt so embarrassed and angry that my face felt like it was on fire, even though I hadn't used any magic.

Apparently, from the perspective of the brothel staff, I was a "cheap guy who could pay in cash but uses free tickets."

It was humiliating.

Yes, I did have some cash, but if I had free tickets, I would use them, wouldn't you?

If you have complaints, tell the Guild staff who gave me the tickets.

Moreover, I know that they were reselling the materials I collected, calling the days I explored dungeons alone "Bonus Days," and referring to me as a "worker ant."

I learned this from the person I designated.

Back then, I still thought, "It's better to have a place to belong," which is quite something.

I realized the terrifying brainwashing education I had been subjected to since I was 15.

But even if I had realized this, the situation I was in was truly hopeless.

Resisting would only result in me being killed by the "Guild Knight" members... or worse, being used for inhumane experiments while still alive.

Perhaps I could have escaped on my own, but my family was different.

If my parents and sister were taken hostage, I couldn't do anything.

Considering the potential harm to not just me but those around me, resistance wasn't a realistic option.

So I decided to pretend I knew nothing and act like a clown.

Let them think I'm a convenient tool for them.

Let them think there's no need to excessively threaten me to prevent my escape.

Let them think it's better to pamper me so I don't want to go outside.

Let them think it's enough to give me moderate food, moderate stress, and moderate outlets.

Let them think that as long as they feed me, I'll keep laying golden eggs, and they don't need to kill or lose me.

If I act like a clown, everyone can be happy, so it's fine, right?

The "Guild Knight" members, the Guild staff, the powerful people connected to them, my family who were being monitored without knowing it, and myself.

Everyone is happy, so it's fine.

There was a time when I really thought that.

Now, it's in the past, or rather, the future.

Thank you for reading.

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