Chapter 5

"Who said we'll all work together! Don't hold me back! Since everyone is stupid anyway, just listen to what I say without a word! Don't rebel! I'll kill anyone I don't like! At least make me happy with your ridiculous deaths. Ha, I find joy in others' misfortunes!"

She shouted loudly as if launching something despicable into the night sky.

There's no one around on the night road, but it must be a nuisance to the nearby residents.

As we started walking without a word, we seemed to feel refreshed after venting.

"This is what I usually suppress."

"I thought your nature was twisted, but... this bad?"

"Yes. Not only do I look down on people, but I even find the sweetness in their misfortunes. That's still too sweet; I'm a woman who finds entertainment in others' deaths."

"Really, when you open the lid, a monstrous creature appears."

"Such a monster would be pelted with stones. How dare you pretend to be human? How dare you deceive us?"

"Of course. Even I, who care for you, end up with this face."

Seeing me frown, Kaede chuckled.

"But even if a few puny people throw stones at me, I'm a giant and it won't hurt. So, they try to resist with the power of numbers, ignoring the rule of 'we'll all work together.' Morality? What's that? They cut off my head to prevent my revival."

Kaede looked up at the sky.

"A righteous person said, 'Let the one among you who has never sinned throw the first stone.' Would you throw a stone, sister?"

"No. Throwing stones is not allowed in this society. Throwing stones without legal authority is just vigilante justice. It's not acceptable. The moment you throw a stone, you commit a sin. Doing such a thing in public is shameful."

"That's too harsh. So, I will always be pelted with stones from where no one can see."

Kaede shrugged as if it were a hassle.

"I can't stand it when my mood is ruined. I'm envious, jealous. I blame all the frustrations of my life, which I can't control, on such people. It feels good to see them suffer from the stones I throw. It feels like I've done something right."

Kaede smiled condescendingly at the hopeless people.

"After all, this society is built on the wisdom we first acquired. Because we cherish this society, we can't stop such easy and enjoyable entertainment. Without self-awareness, they can only see the surface of others, and they can delude themselves into thinking their feelings are the real thing and impose them on others."

Kaede laughed derisively.

"Such despicable people can never share my feelings. Don't impose such filth on me. Ah, it's dirty, disgusting."

Kaede hugged herself as if protecting herself from filth.

Now, how much of that is genuine?

Perhaps it's the effect of alcohol. Perhaps it's the pent-up frustration that has finally burst out.

I can't tell, but it seems a bit excessive.

"That's a harsh way to put it. They don't have that much malice, do they?"

Indeed, I haven't seen Kaede's true self, but building relationships with others is like that. You hide your true feelings and try to get along with others to the best of your ability, maintaining a distance. No one expects to accept everything about someone from the start.

Kaede has a point, but it's an extreme view.

When someone you've built a good relationship with shows their negative side, your perception changes. Even if you don't throw stones, you might put some distance between you.

In that sense, Kaede is no different from those who only see the surface and throw stones. Expecting everyone to know each other's true selves is unrealistic.

That's why human relationships have boundaries.

"They may not have malice, but they lack self-awareness. I, unlike them, have truly beautiful things in my hands. I can't accept filth. It's unbearable to see my beautiful things tainted."

"Truly beautiful things?"

"Yes. The most beautiful feelings that society shows."

Kaede turned and placed both hands on her chest.

It seemed she was protecting something very precious.

"It started as a convenient feeling. In our world of just two people, we once defined it as the truth. Now that I'm back in this society, I know it can't be hidden anymore."

Her voice was gentle, as if savoring something wonderful.

"But the happiness I found in that house was real. It was precious, wonderful, and incredibly sweet. Compared to that happiness, any success or envy I could achieve in this society is like dust."

Her eyes, directed at the past, held the happiness of those days.

"Now, I understand the feelings of the person who returned me to this society in a beautiful form. A star that no one can reach, even if they try their hardest. How blessed it is to be able to grasp it easily. Because they care for me, it's a waste to end it without even trying. They want me to grasp it in a beautiful form, to see a dream in me."

Her radiant smile was a manifestation of overflowing happiness.

"Indeed, they are not by my side, but they are living somewhere in this world. They believe I am smiling in this society, and they are happy because of it. Thinking of them, I can smile and be happy. If our happiness can connect in this way, it is very romantic and purely loving."

My heart trembled at how beautiful it was.

I felt it was breathtakingly beautiful.

"By thinking of that person, my feelings have become the real thing that society shows."

Not just in form, but in substance, the most beautiful feelings that society shows.

Seeing my beloved sister, who is immersed in genuine happiness,

"Because these feelings are so beautiful, I am more than anyone, longing and loving them. Having obtained such feelings, I am the happiest person. I cannot bear to see these beautiful feelings tainted by anything despicable."

She felt something was lacking.

She couldn't identify what was missing.

It was different from what she couldn't give Kaede in the past. It was something within herself. Not giving it wouldn't lead to any decisive outcome, but she felt she needed to clearly identify what was missing.

"I want to cherish this real feeling and the happiness I've regained, and live my life from now on."

Kaede's beautiful smile faded.

"So, my dear sister, who wishes for my new happiness more than anyone. ... I'm sorry."

She lowered her eyebrows, looking apologetic.

"There is no happiness for me at the end of this path. Please forgive me for not being able to gain new happiness from this society anymore."

Kaede declared that she would not gain happiness in the future.

It was not a compromise.

She already had the highest happiness she could imagine. She didn't need more, and she even wished for it not to exist.

Her feelings for that man. Now that they have become real, this beautiful thing is beautiful. She couldn't bear to taint or damage it herself.

I have no right to say anything about it now.

Even pursuing it feels presumptuous.

So,

"Regained happiness? Is there still something that makes you happy?"

I wanted to understand the meaning of the happiness she had regained.

If she couldn't gain new happiness, I wanted to know what the last remaining happiness was and cherish it together.

"Of course."

She laughed at my lack of understanding.

"It's being able to be next to my beloved sister again."

Kaede laughed, as if to say that this is how we have lived, thinking of each other.

She cherished the only happiness she could feel.

... Ah, that's it. The missing thing.

It was too beautiful, and knowing it was beautiful wasn't enough.

The most foolish desire humans have.

"I will grasp a bigger star from now on. I will shine even more in this society. To send a clear light to that person under this sky, even though we won't meet again."

Kaede took a step, then another, coming closer to me.

"But I'm a child who will fall if I don't lean on someone. It will take more time for me to walk alone."

That smile was from a distant past.

When she was young, she always followed behind me.

A smile filled with unwavering trust and affection,

"So, for the part that that person can't see, please bear with me a little longer."

It was the smile of a precious sister who is hard to come by.

"Thank you, Kaede."

Driven by impulse, I hugged my most important family member.

It's fine now.

I've seen more than enough of the beautiful dream.

What was missing wasn't the words to say.

"It's enough that you've come back to me. I am happy."

It was the push I needed to give her.

When she looks back on her life, it's fine to regret the choices she made. But I can't let her regret not doing what she wanted to do.

If she fails on that path, it will be then.

Now, as she can start over with me, she can start over as many times as she needs.

I can't provide an easy and enjoyable escape when she fails,

"So, you don't need to say 'a little more.'"

We can cry and laugh together and start over from the beginning.

"I will carry your happiness for the rest of my life."

I wanted to help her fulfill the happiness she had let go of.