2 - The Second Day

It’s a bit sudden, but I’ve come to the temple.

It’s close to the royal palace. The temple was built on a spot about ten minutes’ ride from there by horse. The uniformly white interior is majestic and beautiful. Many of my fellow countrymen who live in the royal capital make their way to this temple to pray routinely.

I’m one of them myself.

Until I remembered my previous life, I didn’t have even a shred of faith. I went to the temple because if I didn’t pray my reputation would suffer, but of course the prayers were merely to keep up appearances. However, now that I had first hand experience with reincarnation, I found I more or less believed.

“Lord Ulysses.”

“Bishop Ethelbert.”

Ethelbert. He too is one of the game’s /seme/. His white robes lent a sense of virtue to his glossy black hair, which was a rarity in this country. He was a devout believer, exactly as his outside appearance would lead you to expect.

“We have prepared a prayer room, as usual.”

“Of course, thank you.”

By rights, I should be offering my prayers in the great cathedral alongside the other believers. But I usually prayed in a private room for “unspecified reasons.” I was led to a room about 6 tatami in size with a high-quality carpet spread on the floor and a statue of the goddess that was about my height. The simple interior was a prayer room only, without even a window, nevermind furniture or decor. I’d been accompanied by my valet, and I ordered him to wait outside as usual, and then stepped into the room alone. I removed my shoes and stood facing the statue of the goddess.

Taking off ones shoes was not the normal custom in this world. In fact showing one’s bare feet carries the same weight as being naked, and is generally regarded as something one just does not do. But, in the presence of a deity, the meaning changes, and it becomes a symbol of baring your all.

I harrumphed.

It’s weird that the simple act of showing your naked feet would change in meaning so dramatically, when all that had really changed was where you were doing it.

When I put my knees to the carpet, I could feel how soft it was, no doubt so people didn’t injure themselves while kneeling. I’d never before prayed so directly for something that no one would ever see from the outside. So I’d never expressly taken off my shoes before, and I’d never known how soft this rug would feel under my knees.

But now that I’d – somewhat unfortunately – remembered my previous life, no part of me was hidden from god. One can never know tomorrow. No doubt it would be best to pray earnestly, right up until the very end.

The methods of praying to god were strictly prescribed. The people of this country are trained from when they’re young, and if you’re an aristocrat, it goes without saying.

(Dear God, thou who hast caused me to remember my previous life. I shall absolutely make good my escape. I have no intention of doing anything according to the game’s script.)

Remembering my previous life like this had given me a chance to avoid the conviction event. I will stay firm in my resolve, I vowed to myself once again. I cannot quietly wait for destruction, and for that I apologize.

“Lord Ulysses.”

“Tch!”

Someone unexpectedly called out to me, and my shoulders jumped exaggeratedly, still in my prayer pose.

Apparently, the door had been opened at some point. I hadn’t noticed it because I was earnestly determined, but I got the feeling someone had been repeatedly calling my name. Under normal circumstances Ethelbert’s barging in would have been out of the question. I expected he’d say he’d been concerned at my lack of response and had opened the door without waiting for a reply.

I returned to my position as manners would dictate, and completed my prayer. When Ethelbert realized I was barefoot, he quickly looked away and muttered an apology. My valet turned around too, facing out from the door, as was his custom.

Being barefoot in front of god was the same as proving your purity, but even so, the act of showing your bare feet to someone was associated with the bedroom, and generally considered to be sexually tinged. That sensitivity didn’t change even for priests in the service of god. I didn’t personally feel any embarrassment at having my feet bare, but the two people I needed to have the attention of right now were looking away, so I promptly put my socks and shoes back on.

“Have I stayed too long?”

“Oh no, it’s just that you were praying longer than usual, and since there was no reply when I called out, I wondered if perhaps you’d collapsed. I’m sorry to have disturbed your prayers.”

Well, certainly I was speaking to god, at least. However, since my main concern was my resolve in my own affairs, rather than anything else, there was some question as to whether my prayers were on equal footing with those of other adherents. But I didn’t dare tell him that.

“You didn’t interrupt anything. So then, the usual affairs?”

“Ah, thank you very much. We can discuss that in the other room.”

“Lord Ethelbert!”

A deep voice, utterly past the changing of adolescence, suddenly called to Ethelbert. The young man with the same silver hair as me, was clad in the same white priest vestments, albeit with a slightly different design.

“Why are you here?”

“I was looking for you, Lord Ethelbert. Aren’t you to conduct mass in the small northern sanctuary?”

“Honestly, did you not hear our conversation? Of course I’ve left the matter to someone else.”

“But–“

Ethelbert interrupted the young man with a meaningful gaze in my direction.

In other words, because I suddenly showed up, Ethelbert couldn’t participate in the mass. I’m sure the young man wanted to tell me it was all my fault. Ethelbert admonished him that if he had anything to say, he should say it quickly.

“You of all people ought to participate in the mass, young man, please don’t idle away your time so easily in a place like this.”

“But–“

“You are utterly hopeless, child, is that how you’d like to remain? You’re an apprentice. You ought to be prepared before anyone else.”

At Ethelbert’s urging, the young man reluctantly left the scene. He glared strongly at me, but I didn’t much care. You can’t kill a person with a look, and even if you could, that little kitten of a glare wouldn’t have even itched, nevermind injured.

“I do apologize, I’ll give him an earful.”

“It’s certainly not an advisable attitude to have towards an aristocrat. But personally, I don’t mind.”

His attitude wasn’t unreasonable. He was one of my father’s many mistakes. He was one of the other reasons I prayed in a private room.

My father was quick to seek pleasure, and he loved beautiful things. Beautiful jewels. Beautiful buildings. Beautiful clothes. And beautiful people. He chose my mother because of her exceedingly beautiful appearance.

This young man’s mother too, her body pure enough to serve god, had been defiled by my father and she’d become pregnant with him.

In other words, we’re half-brothers. We both look like our mothers, so you wouldn’t know at first glance that we’re siblings. But that magnificent silver hair shows that we’re not unrelated.

Most commoners have brown hair. Ambrose, the game’s protagonist, has red-tinged brown hair too, since he’s a commoner. There’s even a scene in the main game where he makes a joke at his own expense about how ordinary his own hair color is. Having a complex about it makes him softer, gets the seme to love him.

It’s a bit off-topic, but it’s easy enough for anyone to imagine who the father of the young man with the silver hair is upon seeing him. When we first met each other, his facial expression was full of surprise and despair, it was terribly hilarious. For a minute, I thought I was going to burst out laughing just on reflex, but I managed to flash a tragic expression through sheer force of will. I do believe he thought it was pity, and he’s hated me with the venom of a snake ever since. At the time, I thought it was preferable to what would have happened if I’d laughed in his face, but…

“Thank you for your tolerance, my lord. Shall we move to the other room?”

I was led to a room not too far from the prayer room, and took a seat on the sofa. It was plainly made, at first glance, but it wasn’t uncomfortable to sit upon. Perhaps they’d considered that some high-ranking person would use it.

“So then, about my donation, I suppose you wouldn’t mind ‘as usual?’ “

“Of course, and thank you, as always. And may god’s blessings be upon you.”

“I’ll humbly accept those words, Bishop Ethelbert.”

Incidentally, like my father before me, I love jewels, and money, and power too. And I don’t find anything wrong with that. Being attracted to such things is only natural if you’re a human being, and it’s the same for aristocrats, for whom they are appropriate things to adorn oneself with.

And besides, for high-ranking aristocrats, wearing high-class goods is not just an extravagance. It also draws a clear line between aristocrats and commoners.

Suppose I wore the same clothes as the farmers in the area. Do you know what the consequences would be? Not only might they labor under the foolish misunderstanding that they’re on equal footing with me, they may even grow suspicious of the king’s authority. Those with a particular lack of brain power may hallucinate that they are worthy of positions of authority themselves.

In order to avoid such things, aristocrats must act like aristocrats. Extravagance isn’t entirely bad.

In other words, what I’d like to say here is, it’s quite proper to allow a little embezzling of the fief’s money.

As cover, I donate a certain portion to the church, and I do also give a bit on a private basis to poor people. I haven’t shaved off so much that it would hurt the domain, and I always pay the nation what I owe the nation, and the church and the poor profit, so thanks to that, my pockets profit too. It’s not so much a win-win as a win-win-win situation. Ethelbert of course doesn’t know the truth about the embezzlement.

Well, not that the donations were the reason I came here today. That was just a bonus. Since I may lose all the wealth I have in six days anyway.

After concluding our discussion of donations, I broke off the conversation with the intention of getting right down to business. Ethelbert looked up at me suspiciously, and his eyes flew open in surprise.

“Lord Ulysses, what’s happened!? Are you feeling unwell?”

I half stood up from the sofa and started fidgeting with my hands, and Ethelbert sat down beside me and offered me his handkerchief. When I turned my tear-wet eyes towards him, I heard him suck in a breath.

“Bishop Ethelbert, you serve god, it would be okay for you to hear my confession, wouldn’t it?”

“That’s… Is there something that has backed you this far into a corner?”

I lowered my gaze to the desk, so I could look as sad as possible. Still drying my eyes, I clenched my hands and crumpled up the handkerchief I’d accepted from Ethelbert.

“I have sinned. I was afraid the heart of my fiancé Erik would change, so I’ve decorated myself to excess, and my behavior has been anything but sedate and restrained.”

The outline was as follows.

The first prince Erik, my fiancé, was prejudiced against me from the beginning.

It was a marriage of convenience, there was no love or hate involved. There were only advantages and disadvantages. He hated me personally, but even so, I loved him. I knew I was just spinning my wheels, but I decorated myself lavishly, hoping he would turn his head in my direction, even for a moment.

But no matter how many glittering jewels or flashy clothes I put on, his heart never even fluttered for me. On the contrary, the heat was rising with that commoner Ambrose, and even now, my position as fiancé was in danger. Driven by jealousy, I went after Ambrose, harassing him again and again.

I don’t care for the prince even the tiniest bit, but I did wonder if he would really lay his hands on another man while he had a fiancé.

So in a situation like that, you do something to take advantage of the chink in the armor, right?

I acted out the part of an honorable lord, and confessed my sins like a devout believer.

“Surely god would never forgive me as I am.”

The film of my tears, maintained by surface tension, broke with a shift of my eyes, and fell according to gravity. The fallen drops landed on the back of my hand, which was still gripping the handkerchief tight, and slid off to one side.

“Nothing of the kind!”

Suddenly, he was facing me and clasping both my hands in his. The handkerchief fell from my hand, and dropped onto my knees, which were knocking up against Ethelbert’s.

“What you’re feeling is only natural, as a human being. You’ve been robbed of your beloved fiancé. And you do regret your actions, Lord Ulysses, of course our god will grant you forgiveness.”

“…Bishop Ethelbert.”

I brought my eyebrows together, and put up an expression of mental distress. My tears still overflowing, I stared hard at the bishop.

It was supposed to be quite the serious scene, but at the time I felt like– This guy is the type to be attracted to physical looks, and romantically imagines that a person’s insides follow their outsides. Certainly, my outsides did look pretty good. Silver hair and bluish-purple eyes. Smooth white skin. Pieces such as the eyes and nose in perfect position. I’m not tall, but my face is small, and my legs are long. I’m more angelic to behold than the angel statue they put up in the church. I admit it.

But really, Ethelbert’s heat was too much. It wasn’t only with his earnest words that he was conveying his encouragement to me, and the way he was facing me so straightforwardly like this was weird. His immersion in religious ecstasy destroyed his normally expansive expression, and all vestiges of the solemn bishop were blown away. It all made for an unbearable atmosphere, actually, like we were sharing whispers of love in a bedroom.

I couldn’t afford to break my act, so I left my hand where it was, but frankly inside, I recoiled.

“Ahem.”

“Ah–“

The unnatural cough was my valet. To tell the truth, I’d completely forgotten he was even there. Ethelbert must have forgotten too, because he gasped and released my hands, clasping his own together and fidgeting, his face going red. Ethelbert, who’d cast aside his priestly demeanor in his confusion, smoothly blurted something out.

“Generally speaking, committing adultery with someone who has a fiancé is the greater sin.”

“Mm?”

“Ah, no, I mean–“

The way he smoothed it over in such a hurry must mean it was true. Of course it was. I think I just learned something good.

In the in-game event, there was a scene in the cathedral at night. Certainly the first prince and Ambrose go out for a long-distance ride, but on the way back, they get caught in a thunderstorm. If they’d rode on a little further, they’d have made the royal palace, but the two of them decided to wait the storm out in the cathedral. It was the noble path, trying to warm a chilled body.

Fraternization in front of god certainly was provocative.

It was bad for Ethelbert, chattering on with that pale face, but I was inwardly quite delighted.

At any rate, the first prince and I were still engaged. Besides, the first prince hated me, he and I definitely hadn’t had any carnal relations. It’s an uncultured expression, but I am a virgin maiden. It was only natural. As the first prince’s fiancé, my body wasn’t available for others, and even my bedroom education was book-based only. All of me had to be set aside for the first prince. I’d never even been kissed. In that sense, you might say my body was brand new.

On the other hand, you might say the first prince had ended up in a physical relationship with Ambrose.

That didn’t make me happy, what was I supposed to do?

As far as I was concerned, a clear betrayal would have been the best possible outcome.

“Lord Ulysses, please don’t worry yourself. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me what it is.”

“Oh thank you, Bishop Ethelbert. But it’s alright. I’m just… I’m tired.”

Ethelbert looked pained. He put a hand on my still quaking shoulders, but he seemed at a loss for how to reply.

I put an exhausted look on my face, said my goodbyes, and finally left the room.

Prompted by my valet, I feebly boarded my carriage. I took my seat on a comfortable cushion, as befit a duke’s carriage. My valet took the seat opposite me, as he usually did, and the carriage gently started off.

My valet must have been at a loss for words himself. The carriage interior was enveloped in a heavy air. Like Ethelbert, he too opened and closed his mouth, and looked at me with eyes filled with sympathy.

I put my hand to my mouth, and my shoulders started trembling.

“Guh… Heheh– Ahahahahah!”

Aah, impossible. I can’t stand it!

My valet, face to face with me, had an idiotic, dumbfounded expression on his face, but I didn’t concern myself with it in the least. I just couldn’t play the part of a valiant, sorrow-laden young man, betrayed by my fiancé in both form and substance, not with my valet across from me.

“Ah, honestly, that was hilarious, don’t you think?”

“What? I’m not sure I…”

“He dug his own grave, all by his lonesome. I didn’t have to do anything.”

Well, I could see a little bit of light now. Including today, there were six days until the conviction event.

Let’s put on our best show at putting up a struggle, shall we?