Chapter 19

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Chapter 19

[TLN: It’s Mikura POV]

Title: The Endlessly Worrying Mikura-san

‘Patan,’ the sound of the paperback book being closed resounded hollowly throughout the room.

As I heaved a large sigh, I laid down on my bed, my body feeling incredibly sluggish and heavy.

I finished the book that Aoto lent me the night after I borrowed it from him.

In terms of whether the contents of the book fit my tastes, I didn’t really think so.

It’s just that I was thinking about Aoto liking this sort of book and about how I could talk to him again after I finished the book.

It was because I kept thinking these thoughts that I couldn’t stop turning the pages.

Until yesterday, this book must’ve always been inside Aoto’s room.

And right now, it is in my hands.

Thinking that, I, for some reason, felt a strange feeling of both pain and joy.

Aoto, who I had met yesterday at a cafe, was aloof as always.

No matter who he’s with, no matter where he is, no matter what is taking place, he is never influenced by anything, and he never breaks his own pace or atmosphere.

And yet, despite that, for some reason, he just can’t ignore those who are in difficult situations.

I’ve always been so interested in him, who does these sorts of things.

“……Haa.”(Mikura)

Another sigh escaped me as I slumped down and rested my chin on the pillow.

I met him last year, the first semester of our freshman year.

At that time, I, who had just become the class representative, was constantly given chore-like tasks to do.

Not once had I thought of the work, which had come to me as a matter of course, to be a pain or an annoyance.

If someone has to do it, it’s surely the most efficient for me to be the one doing so.

And resenting other people’s incompetence and lack of responsibility is a source of stress.

If you put yourself in this position of doing everything- whether you forget something or whether you fail to do something- you can always take responsibility for all of it.

That’s the way I’ve always thought.

And that’s why I have never wanted help with my work.

“But if the two of us work on it together, it’ll be more efficient won’t it?”(Sakuraba)

The first day he helped me.

Walking side by side with me, Aoto said this to me, while carrying a large amount of textbooks.

“Maybe so, but spending time searching for someone to help me is a waste of time.”(Mikura)

“So, in other words, I just need to notice you and then help you myself.”(Sakuraba)

“That’s….well….that’s true.”(Mikura)

“So then let’s just go with that. Of course there will be times when I don’t notice you, though.”(Sakuraba)

Proudly saying such a thing, Aoto chuckled, not looking at me.

“Anyway, you’re so overly focused on logic. Are you always like this?”(Mikura)

Feeling like I had been manipulated by logic into agreeing with him, I couldn’t help but sarcastically make that remark.

Looking back, I think that I was kind of childish.

[TLN: Sorry, translating this segment was kind of difficult. I get what the segment means in Japanese but I don’t have the words to really convey what the author is trying to say in English.]

But, in response to me, he-

“There’s no way I’m always like this. It’s just if I hadn’t said it the way I did, you probably wouldn’t have let me help you.”(Sakuraba)

“Eh….”(Mikura)

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less about efficiency or whatnot. I just feel bad about you working on all of this alone. That’s all it is.”(Sakuraba)

The face of the joking and laughing Aoto from back then- even now it’s still burned into my mind.

Those mischievous innocent, yet still kind, eyes.

In the end, even now, I’m still in love with those eyes.

But……

“……Is he not interested in me?”(Mikura)

I asked what he thought about relationships with the opposite sex.

In response to my question, he answered by saying that he didn’t want his time for his hobbies to be reduced by dating someone.

All this time, all I could think about was what Aoto thought of me.

But, even disregarding his personal feelings for me, he didn’t seem to be interested in love in the first place.

Rather, Aoto said that I was attractive.

I was really happy about that.

Yesterday, when I remembered it while I was taking a bath, I even shrieked in the bathtub.

But, at the same time, I was thinking to myself that maybe….

It was precisely because Aoto wasn’t interested in me in the first place that he was able to say that.

As a classmate and as a friend, he cares about me, but, as a member of the opposite sex, he was completely unaware of me.

And perhaps that guess is right on the mark.

“Haaaa….”(Mikura)

I sighed for what seems like the umpteenth today, rolling onto my back.

Looking up at the ceiling, his face came to mind.

“Aoto-kun…..”(Mikura)

Unconsciously, a pathetic voice left my mouth.

There was one other major obstacle in the way of my love.

To be honest, it’s the existence of Yuunagi.

Yuunagi Shizuno.

The girl who’s been getting closer to Aoto and who, before I even realized, became his friend.

That girl is definitely in love with Aoto.

There is no doubt about it. I’m a hundred percent sure.

Otherwise, she wouldn’t have come to our class so often to talk to Aoto.

Besides, the look on her face when she’s talking with him is definitely of someone in love.

And because he’s good-hearted, Aoto keeps her company, but still…….ugh

But when and why did such a girl fall in love with Aoto.

No, Aoto is certainly a wonderful man.

Cool. Cute. Calm. Kind. But sometimes a bit cold-hearted and distant. He smells good. His eyes are pretty. [TLN: What is with people smelling other people istg]

There is no end to my list of good points like these.

But I don’t think he was ever involved with Yuunagi before.

If he was, there was no way I would’ve missed it.

There’s no way- Was it outside of school?

If that’s the case, then it would make sense, but it seems very unlikely…..

…..No, I can’t be thinking about this right now.

The problem is that she’s incredibly beautiful, and her personality is practically perfect too.

Honestly, we aren’t that close.

But, from what I’ve heard from others in the form of rumors and her reputation, as well as from a bit of my own observation, I’ve come to realize that Yuunagi is what you call a “good girl.”

To make it worse, she’s also quite attractive.

The balance between her modesty and liveliness is another positive as well.

In short, she’s a strong enemy.

It may not be an exaggeration to say that she’s the worst person to have to compete with.

To the not-interested-in-romance Aoto, Yuunagi Shizuno is…..

Mikura Yuzuri, your first love is quite a thorny path…..[TLN: Yes she referred to herself in third]

But, even if that’s the case, this love is not small enough that I can give up on it.

No matter what I have to do, I will definitely become Aoto’s girlfriend.

I have already decided that I will give my heart and my body to him.

However, it goes without saying that the strategy I use is the key to this.

I have to create a plan.

A strategy that makes the not-interested-in-love Aoto more conscious of love that also simultaneously makes sure he doesn’t get stolen by Yuunagi…..

………………

…………

……

I see, I can do something like that!

Getting a sudden flash of inspiration, I unconsciously jumped off my bed and leapt to my feet.

I have to hurry.

Now that I’ve decided this, I have to act quickly.

[TLN: Sorry, I’m back now. Went through one of my biggest motivation lows since like the middle of quarantine. Won’t go into details since you probably don’t care, but I am getting a bit of therapy, which has helped. Hoping to return to translating actively+I kind of want to actually pick up a new series to stay motivated]

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