Chapter 12

Translated by Naralara Edited by Naralara

12.

His hardened face clearly showed objection. It was a face that looked back on whether the contract between us was like that.

Perhaps he is not aware of the pain that breaks my heart. It’s like the pain of a heart that has already fallen to the bottom, crushed under your cruelty. You will never know.

And in order to maintain a connected relationship even if it’s just our bodies, I will never reveal my pain.

“Is that possible? It’s just that I couldn’t sleep.”

Fortunately, my voice flowed smoothly. Thanks to this, Jeong Yiyeon’s expression softened a bit. But I could see that his doubt was not 100% cleared.

“Why? What happened?”

Because of you. Because I was filled with thoughts about you. Because you’re spinning all over my head and you won’t let me go.

But, of course, I couldn’t say it.

“… My brother does dangerous work, and he came in yesterday and was very injured. There was a fuss made to take him to the emergency room, and he said he didn’t want to go to the emergency room, and then we came back at dawn to wipe the bloodstains in the hallways and rooms. I live with my older brother.”

This, of course, didn’t happen last night. This was something that happened years ago and I made it up as if it happened yesterday. Fortunately, something like this did happen. At the time, of course, I was so scared, but the day came when I will use this as an excuse like this.

At my words, Jeong Yiyeon’s face completely unraveled and changed strangely. Of course, it was a story that anyone would be interested in.

“Is your brother doing something dangerous?”

“Yeah. I won’t go into details, but it seems so.”

“You must have been very surprised yesterday.”

“Yeah, thanks to him, I think I’m going to faint if I put my head anywhere right now. I wondered if I could lie down.”

“Thank god. I thought secretary Lee was jealous of me because he liked me. I am too old to spend my mind and body on those feelings.”

Ah, so that’s why Min Seowon, who had been consolidating with such passionate gazes toward him, was coldly thrown away.

But it wasn’t incomprehensible. Because I was like that until I met Jeong Yiyeon. I only wanted a superficial relationship, and I used to be infinitely cruel to anyone who tried to cross that line.

“I understand. I’m just tired.”

So who other than me will understand Jeong Yiyeon?

“I’m glad secretary Lee has the same personality as me.”

Perhaps Jeong Yiyeon heard about my rumors at the bar we met. Rumors that I don’t want emotional exchanges and only want a sex partner. Of course it was true.

Now that it has come to this, my stomach hurts. If I hadn’t been so promiscuous in the past, would Jeong Yiyeon have looked at me differently? No… There is a high probability that he would not even reach out his hand for fear of being annoyed. It’s obvious that I would be the only one who would have been anxious anyway.

Jeong Yiyeon knew that I was a flighty person and would have reached out to me easily. So I have to play the part in front of him. I knew that only then would I be able to sustain this relationship.

However, knowing it meant that the face that smiled saying that he was relieved hurt.

How low is the threshold for this pain? I know what kind of person Jeong Yiyeon is and what he wants from me, but why is it so painful every time?

“Come and lie down.”

“If I put my head on it, I think I will really fall asleep.”

“Let’s go to sleep. What’s the secretary going to do alone when the boss isn’t going to work? Go to sleep.”

No…The absence of Jeong Yiyeon did not mean that I had nothing to do at the company. First of all, what about the phone calls to the office? When I’m not there, the secretary’s office must have one person dispatched, but I should at least let the secretarial office know that Jeong Yiyeon won’t go to work in the morning either.

Jeong Yiyeon pulled me in without giving me any chance and laid me down next to him. All I could do was take the suit jacket off and put it away so it wouldn’t wrinkle.

“Ah…”

But as I lay down, Jeong Yiyeon’s strong forearms slipped under my neck. I mean, this is an arm pillow that can be made for any kind of lover. His behavior was completely unpredictable. Why the hell are you doing this to me?

Is it just comfortable? You know that I’ll never like you, so you carelessly pour out skinship like this? When you don’t have any feelings, is this kind of touch possible?

“… President.”

“Yes?”

President, do you like me?

Even though I knew he didn’t, I wanted to ask so much.

But of course I can’t ask. Because I’m sure I’ll hear the answer no. Before that, it was against the rules to even ask about feelings among us. So, without asking, I turned around.

“I feel really sleepy…”

No, not just physical fatigue, but mental fatigue from the previous situation was the perfect limit. As I slowly blinked my eyes, Jeong Yiyeon grinned. And again on my forehead, a short, warm kiss fell.

Jeong Yiyeon held me in his arms and closed my eyes with his hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wake you up.”

Ha…

In my head, I was crying.

And also despaired.

The sediment in my heart has not gone away, and the pain that warms my throbbing heart has not gone away, but the warmth and friendly whispers that embraced me inevitably collapse. As he hugged me, the smell of Jeong Yiyeon brushed the tip of my nose. As close as any other lover, the shared body temperature and body odor were stroking the wounds engraved on my heart.

The wounds caused by Jeong Yiyeon healed because of Jeong Yiyeon. I had no choice but to scramble between them.

There was a time when I wondered if just having sex with him wouldn’t be enough. The optimistic idea that if I quietly suppress my emotions, I will find joy and pleasure in this relationship.

But it was all my mistake.

How long can I ever be satisfied with a relationship like this? Just having someone else by his side already makes me mad with jealousy. Nevertheless, I love this man holding me in my arms so much that everything is forgiven.

I didn’t know that the more I touched him, the more my liking would inflate without limit. I slept with Jeong Yiyeon because I didn’t know that. Then this thirst seems to be quenched…

Soon, the sound of Jeong Yiyeon’s even breathing could be heard. Jeong Yiyeon buried his nose in the corner of my hair and slept well.

I rolled into his arms, hugged him tightly, as if asleep, and buried my face in his chest.

“Ummm… secretary Lee … ”

He murmured as if he was slightly awakened by my movements. He’s trying to push me away. My body stiffened with tension.

But instead, he turned completely toward me and hugged me tightly in his arms. The hand that patted my back was just kind.

I fall to the floor once more. And once again I realized and despaired.

Cruel. But it’s cruel and sweet. The warmth of the man holding me was warm enough to hurt.

So I can’t stop liking you. Even if my heart is torn and full of bruises and scars.

I couldn’t help but love you to the end.

In Jeong Yiyeon’s arms, I finally fell asleep. The spirit that hit the limit couldn’t stand it any longer. I fell into a very deep sleep.

The sleeping world was comfortable and peaceful. Just dark moments, when all the things I had been thinking about in my head disappeared. It was a sweet time. And something tickled. It was soft and warm, but at the same time it was strange and tickling. My body warmed slightly thanks to his warmth.

No, it was hot.

“Uhh… Ugh…”

It was hot and throbbing. It was as if the pain was so severe that the sound of pain came out of my mouth.

I felt like my chest would explode everytime I took a breath, because my chest was stuffy and I wanted to take a deep breath and breathe the fresh air. My chest hurts so much. Still, I couldn’t figure out where my limbs were. There was something uncomfortable about the posture. A feeling of going crazy swept through my whole body.

Why is it getting so hot? Why is the skin itchy? Why is my heart beating so hard, and what is it that runs through my blood vessels, so that my fingertips and toes are numb?

In the meantime, the most uncomfortable thing was the feeling of a foreign body underneath. It was uncomfortably digging inside, so I twisted my back and tried to escape, but a hand gripped somewhere in my body wouldn’t let me go.

Thanks to that, my buttocks trembled continuously. My lower abdomen was uncomfortable and it was difficult to bear. No, it’s a little bit more outside than inside. The inside. No, it was just that everything between my legs was strange and painful.

“Ah… uh… .”

The tickling and exhilarating pleasure that rose between the unpleasant dull pains was something familiar. It reminded me of one of those types of sexual pleasure that I really like.

“Yes… !”

When the wet nasal sound burst out, I took a deep breath and struggled to open my eyelids, which were so heavy that I couldn’t open them. It was Jeong Yiyeon who came into my newly opened field of vision. And like that, I discovered that I was not wearing either.

“Pre, president?”

He laughed at my voice full of despair. It was only at the moment when what had filled the bottom of my body slipped out, I realized that the burdensome foreign body that was tormenting my lower body was his fingers. And rubbing the spot where the finger came out, and opening the entrance, the rushing in…

“ah… ah… !!”

My back bent naturally, but my body was folded so that my thighs touched my chest, so even instinctive movements were not enough. As soon as I opened my eyes, what the hell is this? It was like I was still dreaming.

“President, sir, ugh! Uhhh!”

“Ha… ”

The sound of breathing mixed with low moans was so sexy. It was too lewd and brought me back to reality. This is not a dream.

“Secretary Lee.”

Lips calling me softly covered my lips. His movements began to intensify while his tongue swiped my mouth, and I was having trouble breathing and my lungs hurt. It felt even more painful because my heart is already in rags.

“Ah, President, ugh!”

Pleasure removed my mind from the pain that weighed on my chest. My eyes went black and my consciousness seemed to sink into the abyss. Scary. And good. Even though it hurts, Iwas happy.

“Ha… ! Huh, uh, ah!”

Jeong Yiyeon’s entered deep into me again as if forcibly opening my body. Just then, the red marks on his collarbone were engraved on my retina.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. Under Jeong Yiyeon’s tenacious gaze as he clasped my hands and pushed me, I desperately held back my tears. However, the beating continued strongly, and whenever my body shook, unbearable tears flowed down the corners of my eyes.

Jeong Yiyeon looked at the tears that wet my cheeks with supreme satisfaction. A certain heat flashed in his eyes.

At the same time, it was incredibly soft. The series of actions of licking tears with his tongue and kissing my eyelids was very sweet.

“Ugh…”

The kindness that makes me believe that I am a passionate lover who he cherishes and loves very much. But I was sick of him being so kind. It was terribly sad to know that something so heavy was not love.

So it seems that the tears flowed a little more.

Waking up from intense sex has left me feeling out of place. A hazy and drowsy state continued, as if I had a cold. When Jeong Yiyeon finally let me go, even if it wasn’t much, the body that had accumulated fatigue was completely turned into green onion kimchi-like. Still, work was waiting for me.

So now I am getting ready to go to work. My back and buttocks were throbbing in the driver’s seat, and it wasn’t a big deal. But how dare I drive the boss on the way to work? Of course, the secretary was responsible for driving the boss.

Jeong Yiyeon was probably a little concerned about it. He usually sits in the back seat, but today he sits in the passenger seat. As for what he was doing there, he was staring at me with extremely burdensome eyes.

… Fuck yeah, I cried. I shed a few drops of tears. But why? What?

“… What are you looking at?”

“Oh, don’t worry, just drive.”

If it were you, wouldn’t you care? His eyes were on the side of my head, so my ears tickled. If he looks at me from the side, he can see that my ears are all red, so I’m embarrassed and going crazy. It was unlucky for me that there was a traffic jam during lunch time. It’s a 15-minute walk, but we’re not even halfway there yet. Of course, there was still time, but I wanted to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“I’m hungry. Shall we go in and eat?”

“The meeting time is ambiguous. How about packing and going?”

“Oh, do it.”

Oh, don’t you think it’s rude to answer like that? I had no appetite, but somehow wanted to avoid this situation, so I pretended not to notice his gaze and looked around to see if there was a suitable restaurant.

But at that moment, Jeong Yiyeon said something.

“But am I that good?”

I almost hit the accelerator.

Without realizing it, I forcibly endured the loud noise that was about to come out. The reflexive attempt to glare at him could only be tolerated by desperate self-control. Ahh, how great would it be if I could shout, “You’re crazy, real, crazy asking that while I’m driving.”

“… what do you mean? I see Burger King over there. Shall I stop there?”

“I ate a hamburger for breakfast. I think the porridge next door would be fine.”

“Alright.”

“But was it that good?”

“Ah, sir… !”

Eventually I exploded. When I screamed, he burst into laughter, folded his back, and laughed.

Ha, fuck laugh, laugh. Some people are driving with a body that hurts so badly that they can’t even move, let alone fold their backs, but you should smile.

“I was really tired. Really against a sleeping person…”

“Yeah, your eyes are bloodshot right now and you look great. Haha. It was so good that it brought tears to your eyes, right?”

You seem very happy to make fun of me. With this in mind, I turned away from him.

“If I make fun of you more, I will lose. Aren’t you going to tell your brother?”

I really shouldn’t talk. Jeong Yiyeon, who is friendly as if he had forgotten that he was the president, put his tongue out. I don’t know his mood changes from asking if I was jealous, and how he is so childish now.

Of course, the biggest problem was me. His irresistible laughter makes my heart tickle at the innocent look that makes fun of me. My heart ached, and even though it still hurts, his jokes made my heart tickle.

“I can’t say anthying. Unless I want to kill the boss.”

“Wow, is that enough? Do you think he’s very good at using his fists?”

“Yes. He’s a little scary.”

His eyes twinkled as if he was expecting me to tell him something interesting. Moving the car to the edge of the lane, I decided to unravel a story about my brother. It was a very private thing, but in case he was curious.

“My brother is one year older than me, but in the neighborhood… Well, he was kind of famous. When I was in middle school, I was forced to transfer to another school. Because he was my older brother, there was no one who touched me at school.”

At that time, I pretended to study hard and managed my grades moderately, but I went about without any worries. However, thanks to the notoriety left behind by Lee On, there was no one who could touch me.

“But at that time, one of the teachers who was newly appointed and became the homeroom teacher was a pervert. He kept coming over and rubbing and touching me all over the place.”

I was popular with girls, so I knew I was handsome, but I didn’t know that a pervert with pedophilia could look at me. At the time, I had never even thought that a man could see a man sexually, and I only wondered if the teacher was touching me a little too much. But he was also a very caring and understanding teacher, and he followed me as well as other children.

Thinking about it now, that crazy bastard was definitely a pervert. Not only did he secretly touch my chests or waist, but he kept telling me to stay, so he wanted to be alone with the two of them after school, or he secretly told me to meet up because he would buy me something delicious outside.

“My brother asked me how I was doing in school, and I told him my new homeroom teacher kept touching me, and that a while ago that he was trying to hug me from behind and put me on his lap… ”

“He did?”

“A few days later, he was drunk, and on his way home he was robbed and all his limbs were broken.”

Read only at Travis Translations